Courtesy of the Not How Girls Work subreddit, I present to you the least successful pickup lines in human history:
Wait, I’m being told these aren’t actually the worst pickup lines in history.
Here, also courtesy of Not How Girls Work, is the actual worst pickup line in history:
“Hey baby, you gave me a rock-hard stiffy. Want to come back to my place to make out with my armpit, which oddly enough will help to regulate your menstrual cycle?”
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I guess OP with his armpit caption has an armpit fetish?
So… does antiperspirant count as a contraceptive, then?
I wasn’t aware women loved hot, hairy, wet, stinky things that don’t bark and like belly rubs, but hey, it’s a strange, strange world.
The moral of the story is that dogs are great and should have pets.
Hey! This makes actual sense!
It explicitly says that wanting different relationships means sending different messages but then offers two nearly identical examples; neither of which seem very appealing. I suppose “You got my dick hard” is kinda appropriate for just wanting to fuck but I think most women would pass.
If I had to guess, somebody is so desperate to imagine that women need men, but has such a hard time imagining what he would do for her, that he gets the idea that women need men on a hormonal/pheromone level (i.e. his pheromone’s balance her hormones…somehow).
Reminds me of this delightful tweet by Candace Owens:
https://twitter.com/ifudontlike2bad/status/1505990379904020482?
That one really should be in the Bad Anatomy Hall of (in)Fame.
Additional macho points is guy also never washes kor even wipes) his bumhole…
@Crip Dyke
*bleary-eyed stare; head tilt* …
And this is why we need better sex ed in schools.
Reminds me of an online interaction I once saw where the guy declared, “You are very fit!” to a female avatar. I’m not sure how much of a compliment that is in an online space where your appearance is so easily modified. Ah, well.
And then they wonder why they can’t get dates…
@Vicky P
The person who had the avatar should’ve responded with “Thanks, you two can go on a gym date together while I sit at home and eat junk food on the couch”.
@Queen of the Harpies
The person who said “very fit” was British, so if an American had said anything about the gym, it might’ve gotten even weirder.
@Vicky P
Well, I’m stumped on this one, what would “gym” insinuate in a British context? Closest I can think of would be something like how saying “bathhouse” might have sexual overtones here, but I honestly have no clue.