So the other day we looked at some, well let’s charitably call them myths, about the human vagina. Today we’re going to look a matched pair of other cis female body parts that are the source of a lot of curiosity and confusion. I am referring, of course, to the boobies.
Here are six completely incorrect notions about boobs that are going around, courtesy of the BadWomensAnatomy, NotHowGirlsWork and MenWritingWomen subreddits.
Women deliberately get pregnant to make their boobs bigger for birthday photos.
Boobs can function as a mobile Starbucks in a pinch.
If a young girl has saggy breasts, it’s probably because she’s having sex with lots of guys.
Sorry, I meant to say that if a woman has big boobs it’s because she had too much sex in her teen years.
You can purse your nipples like you purse your lips. Indeed, you can do all sorts of things with your breasts because they’re secretly prehensile.
Your boobs can get sucked into someone’s butthole if you get too carried away during sex.
Time for a nap. My brain hurts.
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@ Queen of the Harpies
Wheel of Time by Robert Jordan. A major contender for longest ass series of books that make Harry Potter seem like light reading and is often compared to A Song of Fire and Ice, AKA Game of Thrones due to a medieval setting and sheer length. It spawned an Amazon series last year or so, which by and by has many many discrepancies with the books that frequently seem like they were done simply because nobody bothered to consult the source material and just winged it.
@ Big Titty Demon
Because I can’t read tone over text and all, I want to clarify that for me, this isn’t an argument, I am writing with a casual discussion vibe in my little head.
As far as arguments go through, if this was one, I’d say I’d be loosing. I can’t disagree with your statements, you clearly have a better understanding of the themes present than I do, having read the books many years ago when I was, for lack of a better word, less “enlightened” and not looking for such things. I’m focusing on details about swords and things, not considering Jordan’s thought processes in his writing.
And I don’t have time to watch that video right now, but I will. Basically the only time in the Amazon series Moiraine wears a dress, as opposed to the books where she wears some form of a dress, like most of the female characters, all the time. (For the benefit of those like Queen of the Harpies, in the books, female characters often switched between “riding dresses”, which sound like a cross between parachute pants and dresses IIRC, and what we would think of as stereotypical medieval dresses. This would be excluding some of those exotic “slutty” cultures, Aiel Maidens of the Spear, the character Min, etc.)
If I didn’t miss any example elsewhere, that scene in the tower with Moiraine wearing a dress for the first time was also the first time anyone wore a shawl too. They kept on about it from episode one as I recall, “taking the shawl” and whatnot, but that little part of their subculture was basically ignored to the point of that one scene in one episode was the only one to feature a shawl… on an extra in the background. It was like doing a series on the military, talking constantly about uniforms, but only ever showing anyone in uniform in one episode, despite being in combat on the front lines the whole time!
Anyway, I feel like they did shawl makers the world over a disservice. Cosplayers would have loved it.
“Should we do the shawls?”
“Nah, we’ll just color code the Ajahs and have everyone talk about the shawls, that’ll work.”
Plus “The Wicker Man” is simply gorgeous to look at, and you can’t beat a movie with Christopher Lee AND Edward Woodward.
I don’t think I’ve ever met a pagan (and I’ve met a lot of various sorts) who doesn’t like it.
I got a set of a lot of Wheel of Time in ebook for free once, and I couldn’t slog through even the first one. And I read all of LotR at age 8, and have reread it periodically. WoT is tedious, even without the misogyny. And it’s tedious for 14 long books. Makes Game of Thrones look short and sprightly, and I couldn’t even with those either.
GSS ex-noob is right – the film is gorgeous. The visuals contribute so much to the world-building: the beauty of the island, the pagan symbols presented as part of daily life, the orchards (an important plot point), and of course the wicker man himself, and that final shot with the setting sun.
If you want a thorough look into the making and legacy of the film, I highly recommend Inside the Wicker Man: The Morbid Ingenuities by Allan Brown. The book (published in 2000) includes photos from the filming as well as interviews with the actors and crew looking back on the experience.
The start of the year for me is May the 8th. That’s something called Flora Day in Heston.
It starts in the morning with a dance called the Hal an Tow.
During the day are a series of dances; to what must be the world’s most morbid tune.
Then in the evening everyone gets hammered (well, the pubs actually open at 7am)
No, intentional, sacrifices; but the shoddily built fairground rides usually try to have a go.
@GSS ex-noob
I fold my arms half over and half under, from what others have said I guess it comes from having a significant difference in size between the two because the little one is arm over and the big one arm under.
I’ve spent holidays on the Coigach penninsula the south side of which looks out to the Summer Isles, they certainly picked a fantastic part of the UK to film the Whicker Man. The landscape is gorgeous, but with an otherworldly feel even in full sun, when the clouds come down you get some really odd effects. I once sat in the cloud on the side of Ben More Coigach eating my lunch and hoping the clouds would lift to make climbing to the top worth the effort, the cloud parted just enough to see down onto the saddle, but it felt as if we were directly above the saddle and the whole mountain was somehow hovering in mid air. Difficult to describe, very strange.
I don’t really fold my arms because that feels weird and uncomfortable regardless of position; instead I position my arms below the breasts, then have my “over” arm grab on to the wrist of my “under” arm, if that makes sense. I only do that when I’m cold, bored, or impatient, though I’m not sure how other people interpret that as it doesn’t seem to be standard body language. No one seems to be offended by that, at least.
I haven’t seen Wicker Man, though I’ve read something about how the concept of “wicker man” originated in Western folklore and pop culture. Unsurprisingly, there’s no established Finnish name for the concept. I see from Wikipedia that the original Wicker Man was released with the Finnish title Uhrijuhla or “Feast of sacrifice”. The remake was released with an untranslated title, as has been standard for English language movies recently. It’s apparently better for the brand recognition.
Re: Wicker Man
Well, you guys make some compelling arguments. Not really enough to wash the distaste out of my mouth or convince me to actually watch it, but I can see it from a new perspective now. Still not my cup of tea, but to each their own. The remake, on the other hand, sounds like a dumpster fire of dreadful. Not sure I could even enjoy it from a “so bad it’s good” mockable angle.
Re: Wheel of Time
Now those sound like an unpleasant slog. Considering I dumped HP halfway through the first book and watched a handful of GoT before rolling my eyes and giving up, it’s probably best I ignore this too.
I’m aware that I’m starting to sound like a snob, but I guess I kind of am when it comes to my entertainment preferences. I enjoy my fair share of junk, though, it just usually has nostalgia value attached to it.
@ QOTH
It’s worth it just for the commentary track. It’s basically a 90 minute apology.
What is sad is that the people actually making the film obviously had great affection for the source material; and did set out to make something good. But it’s the old ‘executive meddling’ thing.
The track is very funny though. “There is a scary bit”; “Not long now”; “Are you ready?”‘ “See, that was a bit scary!”
I think Howie must have answered a call like this…
(I love “other than the cat”)
@Queen of the Harpies
I took one look at the gendered magic system in WoT and was like, “Nope, fuck this universe and fuck the guy who invented it.” That kind of sweeping, 100% enforced gender complementarianism makes me angry and disgusted in a way that even dudebro neuro-nihilism doesn’t manage.
@Alan
Lol, maybe if I could find that…
Wish every terrible remake had one.
@Cyborgette
What did he do there? “Girls can only use girly magic”? I’d have to agree with you that anything negatively gender-based like that can go right in the trash.
Reminds me how there’s a trope kinda floating around in some anime where if a girl loses her virginity she can no longer use her powers, or they’re significantly weaker. (But naturally, it doesn’t apply to men.) Fuck that.
@Big Titty Demon
Huh. I gave up on them because the first book was a beat-for-beat rewrite of David Eddings’ Belgariad, but not as well written.
@ .45
Not even a little bit accurate I’m afraid. Not least because some of the original Conan stories are less misogynistic. Jordan didn’t get published until 1990, and at that time actively feminist fantasy was resurgent, and there’s loads of better stuff from that time period. (Including but not limited to literally anything by Lois Bujold, Andre Norton, Raymond Feist, or Mercedes Lackey, just off the top of my head.)
@Queen of the Harpies
That’s an old one, goes back at least to Classical Greece. Sometimes applies to male magic-users as well, but usually not because patriarchy.
That’s also a plot point in the Witch World books, written by Andre Norton. She was an incredibly profilic and well-regarded fantasy author, but of course had to compromise a lot in order to make way in the male-dominated sci-fi and fantasy genres. Her name was one such compromise, and another is that all of her earliest works are about the type of square-jawed mcshooty-guy protagonists popular at the time.
Interestingly, in the Witch World, is that only women of a certain ethnic group have magic (the one exception being square-jawed mcshooty-guy, who’s the protagonist of the first two books). As they loose that ability after they have sex, it becomes a bit of a societal dilemma. Should a woman have children in order to keep up population, or should she stay celibate in order to rule and defend her people with magic? Plus, of course, the personal dilemmas of “but I really want to have (penetrative) sex with my boyfriend”. Seeing as the first installments were written in the early sixties, I think the magic abilities in these books must have paralleled womens’ real world dilemmas of marriage versus focusing on one’s career. Might even be a bit autobiographical, as Andre Norton never married but had a great career as an author and librarian.
Anyway, I guess what I’m trying to say is that it’s a trope with some interesting potential for gender commentary if used well and reflected on, but I understand you don’t like it. And I also understand why I don’t really see it in Western fantasy anymore. The “power vs love” dilemma wouldn’t really resonate with the modern-women-who-can-have-it-all anymore. It would just feel shitty and sexist.
@Queen of Harpies
Well let’s see:
So yeah, basically just the gamut of terrible, sexist, complementarian tropes built deeply into the world and magic system.
@QotH:
I like the subversion in The Scorpion King.
Cassandra: I see a time of great peace and prosperity ahead.
Matthias: How is it you see this? Don’t the legends say you’ll lose your powers if you …
Cassandra: Can you think of a better way to keep a king from taking advantage?
Welp, I tried to defend Wheel of Time, but clearly I failed. ;D
@ Surplus to Requirements
Yes, I was thinking of that scene.
@Dalillama
Hmm, well, I couldn’t recall seeing it in any stories prior.
@YlVi
Perhaps, but it would have to be really well written.
I mean… it is.
@Cyborgette
Yep, into the trash it goes.
And is there even any explanation as to why this is? I mean, the magic system would have to function this way because somebody designed it like that. A power drill doesn’t say “Oops, you have a uterus! Guess I’m going to be slower and less effective now.” and a dishwasher doesn’t say “Oh, looks like a MAN pushed that start button!” and start blasting the dishes with such powerful jets of water that it finishes in ten minutes… with everything inside broken. So why the hell would magic act that way?
Thanks to all involved in the discussion of WoT, it’s one of those books I didn’t read at the time and, having seen recent recommendations for. was considdering reading, you’ve all saved me a lot of what would have been wasted time and even more fury.
Fair enough. To be clear, I was alluding to the specific kind of sexist worldbuilding where you can tell it exists because the author is sexist, and not because they wanted to critique the negative effects of gender essentialism and purity worship by examining it in a fantasy context or something.
If only! I just remembered how Donald Trump complained at one point during his presidency that dishwashers (as well as toilets and shower heads) are performing poorly due to Obama’s communist-conservationist water pressure regulations, or something like that.
Specifically, I remember he framed it as “women tell me this thing about dishwashers”, which I thought was hilarious. He cannot pretend to be doing “women’s work” such as operating a dishwasher, but that doesn’t stop him from pretending to be an expert on dishwashers. I doubt he’s even familiar with any non-rich people (women or otherwise) who regularly operate dishwashers by themselves.
Now, if pushing a dishwasher button worked like this analogy to gendered magic, he could pretend to operate dishwashers himself, but he couldn’t claim they lack water pressure!
@Queen of the Harpies
I have no idea, honestly, beyond “a lot of men really do seem to think we’re different species”. If I had an estrogen tablet for every time I’ve had cis men ‘splain The Sexes to me, I’d be set for life plus a few centuries.
And mm, “somebody designed it like that” would actually be a really good plot point IMO? Like, “magic works completely differently depending on gender because some ancient evil wizard laid a dying curse on the whole planet”, or “because the original god of magic was murdered by her sons out of jealousy and they divided her life force unequally” or something like that. If you’re going to go there, actually go there, and tackle the deep fucked-up-ness of it. But IME very little if any SF/F deals with the idea of a metaphysically sexist universe where someone canonically, maliciously made it that way, from the perspectives of women characters. And that’s really too bad.
(Some of my own attempts at fiction have ideas in that general area, but… I’m very very amateur, and unlikely to ever get published. Plus I don’t have much time for writing these days.)
@Queen of the Harpies
I first ran across it in the Witch World books, mentioned above, but the earliest iteration I know of is the priesthoods of Artemis and Hestia/Vesta. Sir Galahad from thr Arthurian cycle is also generally held to have been the only knight able to complete the Grail quest due to his virginity.
There have been fantasy books that have played with the sex-linked magic sort of thing in ways to work with trans narratives… what happens when somebody who was born a girl turns out to be able to use men’s magic, and how do people who are invested in the current system react to that? Sadly, I can’t give names, I just remember a discussion from one of the SF/F blogs I follow. But such books do exist.
(The webcomic El Goonish Shive had a long-spanning plot involving a mage from a different timeline who was born a woman and who transformed herself into a man because a stronger physical body meant stronger magic. That said, the magic wasn’t different between the sexes, just there was the societal assumption that the strongest battle mages were all men; and it was certainly told in such a way that this was probably just the mage’s belief based on her background, and not necessarily the way magic actually worked in that setting.)