Nicholas Alahverdian — former “Judicial Accountability” point man for A Voice for Men and suspected serial rapist – is in the news again. The last time we checked in on Alahverdian he had just been arrested in Scotland, where the Rhode Islander allegedly fled after faking his own death in an attempt to escape rape charges in Utah and possibly three other states. He’s already a convicted sex offender. In Scotland, Alahverdian — also wanted on fraud charges — apparently spoke with a fake posh British accent that sometimes gave way to an American accent when he was drunk.
Sorry, I know there’s a lot going on here; for more details on Nick Alahverdian’s wild ride see my post here and his rather lengthy Wikipedia page here.
Anyway, Alahverdian is back in the news again because, out on bail and waiting for an extradition hearing in May, he’s been calling press outlets with a new and not altogether convincing argument: that he’s not Nick Alahverdian posing as a posh Brit under the assumed name of “Arthur Knight,” as authorities claim, but rather a real British chap named Arthur Knight who just happens to look identical to Alahverdian and have an unusual amount of knowledge about the guy he was allegedly mistaken for.
Our man in Glasgow first landed an interview with the Providence Journal in which, reporter Tom Mooney notes drily, he spoke “with some kind of accent” and demonstrated a rather extensive knowledge of Alahverdian’s legal troubles.
The man showed great familiarity with Alahverdian’s past, including his 2008 conviction for groping a college co-ed in Ohio and the allegation Alahverdian now faces that he raped a former girlfriend in Orem, Utah, just months later. …
He said he had educated himself about these incidents in case he has to show at his extradition hearing in April the shoddy work of prosecutors, particularly that of Utah County Attorney David Leavitt, who sought Alahverdian’s arrest on the rape charge months after he faked his death in Rhode Island in February 2020. …
The man who calls himself Arthur Knight said “we’re not only attacking [Leavitt], we are attacking everything, and by everything, I include the claim that I have an identity or have even had an identity of Mr. Rossi (the surname formerly used by Alahverdian) or Mr. Alahverdian. I am not and have never been known by those names.”
This mysterious man also claimed that international authorities has arrested three other men on suspicion of being Alahverdian. “Their arrests, he appeared to argue, somehow supported his claim that he was not Alahverdian, providing one more odd twist to an already head-scratching tale,” Mooney wrote.
Alahverdian also sat down for a Zoom interview with NBC 10 WJAR. Sadly, the man calling himself Arthur Knight was largely incomprehensible in the half-hour video, due in part to the breathing apparatus he claims to need due to the aftereffects of COVID. In one moment of relative clarity, he insisted he wasn’t that “chap” Alahverdian at all:
If anyone thinks that I am this chap, and have all of these questions, I would love to have them over for a cup of tea, but I am not. I am Arthur Knight.
Though his accent is more than a little wobbly, you can totally tell how British he is by his references to “chaps” and tea — things that only a True Brit could know about.
At one point the reporter was able to get him to pull down his breathing mask temporarily to show his face, which revealed him to be someone looking an awful lot like Alahverdian after gaining a good deal of weight.
When he was first arrested in Scotland, the authorities mentioned that they had identified him in part by his distinctive upper-arm tattoos. The reporter for NBC 10 asked “Knight” to show him his arms to prove he had no tattoos; “Knight” complied, sort of, but only showed his forearms, claiming it would be too complicated for him to remove his jacket.
I’m not quite sure where Alahverdian/”Knight” thinks he’s going with this, as it would take only a simple DNA test to prove his real identity. Maybe he’s been lying so long, on so many subjects, that he’s now become incapable of telling the truth? I think he just likes being in front of the camera. He’ll certainly have plety of media attention when and if he’s sent back to the US to face trial.
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At the start of WW2 there was a lot of worry about German spies. Home Guard units were told to get suspects to sing the national anthem; and if they knew the third verse to arrest them. No true Brit has a clue what it is; or even that there is one.
They also asked suspects to say ‘squirrel’; on the ground Germans can’t pronounce that.
(I went out with a German girl and she could say it)
ETA:
Sadly, he gave the game away when he accidentally ordered “fries” instead of “chips.” Should’ve done more research.
He also realized he made a mistake when he admitted to putting his boot in the trunk instead of putting a trunk in the boot.
@Alan Robertshaw:
At the start of WW2 there was a lot of worry about German spies. Home Guard units were told to get suspects to sing the national anthem; and if they knew the third verse to arrest them. No true Brit has a clue what it is; or even that there is one.
Similar American ignorance of the later verses of “The Star-Spangled Banner” was a plot point in one of Isaac Asimov’s Union Club mystery short stories: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Refuge_Could_Save
@ full metal ox
My favourite way of catching a spy cropped up in the Aldrich Ames case.
CIA had known for years that they had a mole. But despite their best investigator teams they couldn’t work out who it was. Then Sandy Grimes and Jeanne Vertefeuille were assigned to the case.
They weren’t sure how to start but Jeanne suggested they just ask everyone “List, in order, who you think the spy is”.
Ames came out No 1.
Hey, I’m the judge of incomprehensibility around here!
But seriously… He’s ridiculous, and at the same time I find things hard to laugh at when I remember what he did. If that makes any sense.
OT, but I saw on the news that someone calling himself Zeiger on The Daily Stormer was arrested for hate speech in Canada when he made an online post about some papers that he put up on public transport. I’m not sure whether it was the papers (defacing public property?) or the post itself that was considered grounds for arrest.
This is like the guys who get caught with drugs and say “these aren’t my drugs, these aren’t even my pants”.
And occasionally “aren’t even my” bodily orifices. Sure, officer, he’s got no idea how that neatly-wrapped package of illegal substances got found in his own butt, labeled with his own name.
I once went on a ride-along with our local constabulary.* Guy had NO IDEA how those packaged “for retail sale only” disposable razors and tubes of yeast infection cream ended up in the trunk of the car he was driving, which was registered to him, when he ran a red light directly in front of the police car. The cop just gave him the hairy eyeball. Then the dude insisted his underprivileged upbringing and racism was why he’d been forced into a life of petty theft, whereupon the 1st US generation born Mexican-American cop pointed out he’d grown up a couple streets away from the suspect. Who then said “yeah, fair enough” as he sat on the curb, waiting to be taken away.
@Alan: Some of my German acquaintances really can’t say “squirrel”. One of them worked REALLY HARD to learn how.
*See, Nick, I can sling Brit lingo around too! I may not be me!
(Actually, I am, but have never committed a felony. Or even a misdemeanor. I’ve had a few speeding and parking tickets.)
Even with that first pic filtered, they look so much alike that if it wasn’t really the guy, he should be afraid that one of his doppelgangers from the government cloning program is on the loose and committing sexual assaults.
@FMO
I was about to mention that too, but I didn’t know it was in a book.
@GSS
One of my favorite things to mockingly say when watching Cops or America’s Dumbest Criminals or other such programs back in the day was “That’s not my crackpipe in my underwear! In fact, this isn’t even my underwear! A friend must’ve switched them with me in my sleep!”
Lol at the cop owning that dude (and it’s rare that I’ll root for the cops these days), but what the heck was he planning to do with that stuff? Do I even want to know?
I read that as the Rhodes Scholar.
Yeah, it’s for the whole of his oeuvre. Saying a group of people are worthy of death is a matter of opinion by law but we consider explicitly trying to convince people to go out and kill them to be a crime. So once his stuff on The Daily Stormer was id’d to be from a Canadian, he was prosecutable. Also he was provably in Charlottesville, and trying to foment a race riot over there is also considered a bit of a legal no-no.
Arthur Knight? Really?? Was “Guy Incognito” already taken?
@ gss ex-noob
Other Brit alternatives are:
Bobbies (after Sir Robert Peel)
Rozzers (if you’re a 1970s minor London criminal)
Old Bill or The Bill
Dibble (popular with the London kids)
Ecilops or ‘Eccies’ (as that’s what you see in your rear view mirror)
The Fuzz (that had gone out of fashion a bit, before the film)
I admire their dedication. I was wondering how useful a skill that was; but I did have a squirrel related conversation this very morning.
@Alan, don’t forget bizzies, plod, and (the one I personally use) the filth.
Ah, the old “remove the rotor arm” trick (in that Miss Grant film). I’ve done that myself.
@ moggie
I think you have to say Bizzies in a Scouse accent; that’s the rules.
Security on my old Defender was, can you untie a reef knot? But to actually get the thing started was like launching a Titan missile. You had to know exactly where to stick the screwdrivers (plural). She would also only start facing downhill; so you had to pick your parking spots carefully.
@BlackBloc – Thanks for the info! Just to clarify, I’m also in Canada and I’m not defending nazi-wannabe shitheads, I was just curious what got this guy arrested finally. CBC said he was trying to get people to harass a Holocaust survivor, which should be enough on its own, but from what I gathered it seemed his identity was traced months ago. And of course cops are often easier on white racist terrorists than other types.
@sarah_kay_gee – You JUST made me realize the King Arthur/Knights of the Round Table connection. If that was deliberate, he’s even more ridiculous than I thought. It’d be like pretending to be Scottish and calling yourself Scotty McBraveheart.
@Alan – Now I’m curious – how DO you pronounce “squirrel”? I know in German they drop the R after vowels somewhat, but isn’t that true for some UK dialects? And also, do you say it in one or two syllables? I seem to do either, depending on how fast I’m talking.
In IPA symbols, that’s [skwɚl] or [skwəɹəl], I think (the “ɚ” being a schwa + R sound, the upside-down r being a non-rolled R).
(Anyone else who’s done more phonetics, feel free to correct me.)
Speaking of national anthems, the anthem of Ankh-Morpork has additional verses that accurately reflect the average citizen’s attention span/memory.
@ epitome of incomprehensibilty
Well I pronounce it sort of Skwi-ruhl. And I have as yet to be shot by the Home Guard presumably that’s an acceptable variant. I shall defer to the linguistic exerts here though on the proper way of saying it.
A lot of my Cockney friends say Skwi-wul though. Hmm, maybe I should tip off the War Office?
@epitome
B’Nai Brith filed charges and that’s why he’s finalky in court, but the SPVM seems to be flubbing the case, per the coverage I saw on Its Going Down.
The Doctor: I take it from the pathological compulsion to surrender you’re from Tivoli.
Gibbis: Yes, the most invaded planet in the galaxy. Our anthem is called, “Glory to [insert name here].”
~ Doctor Who: The God Complex
Quoth the raven: “Huh?”
My pronunciation is all over the place, including things like “sko-warl”, “skwoll”, “skwee-rill”, “sk’wrrlh”, and “[chittering noises]”. Mostly because I find it funny.
iirc, former Corporal (now Captain) Carrot takes the wording of such significant texts very seriously. See for example the oath of the City Watch, which he administers with great precision:
And all I can think about when I read this is “Jackie Daytona, Ordinary Human Bartender.”
@Alan –
Exactly how I say it in 2 syllables! Also, linguistics is supposed to be descriptive, not prescriptive, and also I’m far from an expert 🙂
@Snowberry – “[chittering noises]” is the best!
My parent’s new dog is called Shiloh but my favourite nickname for him is “little chaos demon.”
Today I realized how hard typing out the pronunciation of squirrel is. Also I am now very self conscious about my squirrel pronunciation.
I do a weird hard SK-whir-ell myself, I think?