Yesterday the rigt-wing mediasphere went bananas over an ambiguous comment from the top James Bond producer seemingly suggesting that maybe, just maybe, at some time in the future, James Bond could get rebooted as a non-binary super spy.
Today some on the fringes of the already fringe-dwelling right wing press are convinced that the Prime Minister of New Zealand wants her constituents to start boning each other silly in groups of up to 25.
As the unintentional humorists of The Gateway Pundit put it:
In case you didn’t get it after reading the headline, Mr. Hoft repeated his main point twice in the brief article itself.
This week the wicked New Zealand Prime Minister announced that the easing of the COVID-19 restrictions will allow for orgies of up to 25 people.
Ardern giggled as she spoke about the resumption of New Zealand orgies.
Emphasis definitely his.
Similar stories ran on such reputable news outlets as World Net Daily, Breitbart and Alex Jones’ Infowars.
The story took off after someone who is not actually a right-wing ideologue posted a jokey Tweet.
As you can see in the brief video clip above, PM Jacinda Ardern, who was talking about lifting some of the country’s COVID restrictions, did say that Tinder assignations were starting up again. And then she said something about “up to 25” people in the “red area,” making a reference to New Zealand’s traffic-light-inspired categories for dangerous and less dangerous areas.
Or it could be that these “red areas” are parts of the body that can get sore after fucking, say, 24 of your best friends for 12 hours. Be careful, folks! Be safe, and remember to use lube whenever and wherever you might need it, and maybe we can keep those red areas from getting too red.
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Why do right-wingers persistently come across as the worst sleazes imaginable and constantly fail to acknowledge that they are the ones projecting their own mind-numbing grossly undesirable brain-space? It’s amazing what incredible heights of sexual objectification are attained within their reasoning when they just hear/read the word non-binary. Welcome to that gruesome and cruel terrain know as the cis-het Duggar-space.
According to Jim Hoft, creator, owner, and editor of The Gateway Pundit, Jacinda Ardern is “wicked.” And here’s what Hoft calls Liz Cheney:
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2021/12/mob-summoned-washington-president-trump-breaking-unhinged-demon-liz-cheney-hints-federal-charges-president-trump/#insticator-commenting
Now let’s see what Wikipedia says about Jim Hoft:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Gateway_Pundit
Ironically, a guy who throws around the accusation of “demon” is himself a known demon. I’m sure that Hoft was a bad guy before Google demonetized him, but now it’s official.
@Teagan. They lack self-reflection. That’s why the tribe is so important to them. Without it they are nothing. (or at least feel that way.)
Hey man, I’m an asexual, but so long as everyone in your orgy is a consenting adult, you do you. Why does it seem like the worst people in the world spend every waking moment obsessing over who’s fucking who?
It is pretty considerate to include people with a non-monogamous lifestyle in your safety briefing.
I know nothing about this Prime Ministers politics or personality, but she seems pretty okay in my book based on this.
@Teagan
Not a Right-Winger. But I wonder if I’m projecting when being creeped out by a Text-to-Speech software (Speechelo) advertising realistic child voices “that sound joyful and innocent”. Just who is that marketed towards?
@B. Lamb
I think she used to be a Mormon, might explain it.
Oh I am here for this.
This sort of ribbing is so normal for NZ, and she is totally playing into it, but toeing the line. I mean that as a compliment.
This shit is loved in New Zealand. So a few months ago, our director General of health (Americans, read Dr. Fauci equivalent) and our health Minister got into a situation
Health Minister made a slip of the tongue, and everyone loved it
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mLvYWhdaJk4
I’m not sure how to properly share links, delete if needed
This was followed up by him being gifted a “spread your legs, not the virus” mug, which he used.
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nzherald.co.nz/lifestyle/covid-19-spread-your-legs-chris-hipkins-hilarious-subtle-joke-for-nz-at-press-conference/NCJEZNZYQ7MFMRLUZYZVU7HXJE/%3foutputType=amp
Nz response was basically “oh, they such a hard job, at a time like this I’m glad they have a humor outlet”
Aldo she has made this type of joke before, this is not an accident or one off
This for some reason made me think of a story my friend told me about something that happened when he was a teenager. I find it pretty funny and strangely wholesome so I thought I would share it with you guys cause I think it shows nicely how just good people can be.
So my good friend Lary is gay and he’s know he was since he was about 11 years old. well he has been in the foster care system since he was 9, and then when he was around 14 he ended up in this home with an older then most, foster mother to look after him. it was just him, her, and another little girl. The woman who I will just call Jo, apparently tried to be a nun when she was younger but she failed the like nun training or whatever it is. she lost her faith in the church so she didn’t finish it to become a nun, but she went out to find other ways to spread Jesus’s love.
So Lary had been living with her for a year and there was a guy in his class he really liked and was getting feelings for him as well. so one day, Jo goes into Lary’s room to collect laundry, she didn’t knock because she honestly didn’t even know he was in there. and she catches Lary with said boy, making out and grinding on his bed. she’s shocked by this for a lot of reasons. she has the boy leave. her and Lary have a talk about his sexuality and also what is acceptable to be doing in that house. basically, she tells him that the boy can come back over here to spend time with Lary but only when she is there, Lary has to keep his door open if they are in their room. and that there not allowed to have sex there.
she’s really flustered, and she doesn’t really know how to have this conversation with him. so this 50-year-old woman knows she needs to give Lary far more of a talk about relationships and sex then she just did but she doesn’t know how to. So she goes into the not great parts of the city. Finds a very clearly Trans gender woman who was a sex worker. approaches her and tells her about her foster son and how she is worried that he’s going to become sexually active soon. she tells the woman that she wants to give him good advice and the knowledge so that he will be safe, not get hurt, be comfortable, all of that. but she doesn’t know how to. She especially doesn’t know how to talk to him about anal sex. the poor woman barely knew how to discuss the basic of heterosexual sex. So she ask the transgender woman sex worker if she can buy an hour or so of her time to come give Lary the talk about sexual stuff and how to be safe and all that. the woman agreed. Jo took her to the nice neighborhood where they lived. and out there on the front porch swing Lary got his private talk and advice about all sorts of thing from that gal.
From hygiene to foreplay, toys, different between lust and love, how to respect your body, how to respect your partners body, important of consent, how to safely prep. all of it.
Now they lived in a conservative neighborhood. the neighbors saw this very obvious transgender sex worker on the front porch of this home in broad day light talking to an underage boy, and just straight up called children services on Jo. and boy was the children protective services officer pissed off with Jo for doing this. Lary told me he will never forget Jo looking that guy in the eye and saying
” he’s gonna be gay no matter what I, God, or anyone else does. I’m doing my job in making sure he can be homosexual in the safest way possible for him. and you know what that means? getting advice from someone who has sex with many many men, instead of useless advice from a 50-year-old virgin who’s sexual experience ends with a bad handy under the bleachers at my catholic school when I was rebellious”
the CS officer left. having no idea how to respond to any of that. the sex worker was compensated for her time. and Lary will tell you that he wouldn’t be the man he is today without those two amazing women giving him guidance through a confusing time in his life.
I will never get over that this woman wanted to help and didn’t go “maybe i could read some things on the internet, find a place he can go to talk to someone. maybe go to a health center or something ask someone to give him a talk to” no it was, I’m gonna higher a sex worker to explain it to you because they have the most experience
Not one of these people has twenty-four friends.
Many clearly do not even verbally, non-electronically interact with 24 real human beings in the course of a week, including bus drivers and check-out clerks.
They are so pitifully lonely, yet determined to spend their entire adult lives in a self-constructed, collective Hell.
I’ve communicated, sincerely and frankly and compassionately, with a fairly large number (those willing to exchange more than the most boring of insults) now, and what is – almost “was”, now – astonishing is their utter terror at being listened to and asked to explain their choices.
No matter how kindly they are treated, they are sure to scamper back to the empty comfort of self-torture and hatred (mostly, I now think most do it simply because it’s familiar and takes no effort – many are incredibly lazy – and because ‘familiarity breeds contempt’ and plainly they have utter contempt for themselves, with much justification!), either by blocking or by a return to repeated, canned insults and nothing else.
I will never give up on my BV, but it clearly won’t be fulfilled even just in the USA in my lifetime.
@Elaine: Thanks for sharing that, that was super wholesome. I wonder how the sex-worker in question looks back on that event. Has gotta be a nice change of pace, I hope she enjoyed doing that.
A non-binary James Bond? Uh, doesn’t Jerry Cornelius count?—true, he never works for any government, but otherwise (apart from being smarter than Bond and a better musician)….
@Elaine
That is so sweet and awesome. It also reminds me of Lois McMaster Bujold’s Beta Colony, where you have the LPSTs (Licensed Practical Sexual Therapist) – a profession dedicated to providing sex education, from theoretical to practical. Very logical and sensible of the Betans.
And in other news, who wants to read about a ginger cat who has been saved from a foolish co-worker?
https://twitter.com/JortsTheCat
(I mean, REALLY. Spreading margarine on a cat to encourage grooming? No. Either bathe the cat or get him a grooming buddy.)
As a non-Kiwi, I’m sure I miss a lot of news about Jacinda Ardern. But, as senior politicians go, she seems to me to be one of the most non-wicked ones around. Also, absolutely someone I would expect to be comfortable joking about this. If Hoft sees demons everywhere, I’d recommend he devotes his over-active imagination to playing D&D, rather than commenting on politics.
I like that Ardern sometimes giggles and often makes jokes. She comes across as more of a real person. I remember her picking up Stephen Colbert from the airport and having a BBQ at her house with him, her family, and special guest star Lorde.
New Zealand is the country that’s weathered Covid the best, so if they want to get the whole extended family together for Christmas, or people want to get back on Tinder and Grindr, go right ahead.
If they actually can have an orgy with full participation of 25 people, well… I’d be impressed at their stamina.
@SophiaB: I remember seeing that, it went viral. So funny.
@Elaine: what a delightful story.
@Vicky P: I have spent lots of time reading about Jorts and Jean. Two emails in my inbox this morning had the subject “Jorts”. The AITA question was super-funny and a must-read. As is the AITA Update.
Orange boys are very mellow, but they seem to have a bell curve, but no geniuses. Orange girls are evil geniuses who are occasionally terrifying. Torties are smart and bossy, there’s a reason the word “tortietude” exists.
But for real stupidity, you need a tuxedo. I don’t know how many times I’ve saved ours from himself. He answers to his name, his nicknames, and the word “stupid”. Have known other dumb tuxies, and heard tell of a very very few genius outliers. Tuxies don’t have a bell curve. For some reason, black and white cats of other pattern (like cowcats) aren’t any smarter or dumber.
I trust our furry friends are not insulted by my ableist terms, but I’m not having a hissy fit over it like “Pam” (in the AITA link) did. Poor Jorts is doing the best he can. We don’t expect developmentally disabled humans to become rocket surgeons 🙂 don’t expect Jorts to be as smart as a tortie. Give him reasonable accommodations.
The TL;DR version is available here:
https://nypost.com/2021/12/15/jorts-the-ginger-cat-sparks-debate-about-perpetuating-ethic-stereotypes
Team Jorts! He even got people to get their vax!
@Elaine, that was a nice recollection and quite inspiring, thank you! New Zealanders are jovial upfront people and because being awkward is natural, they can explore whatever they want.
Proof that silly cat stuff on the internet can spark necessary conversations about how to approach disability accommodations in the workplace:
https://graniteandsunlight.wordpress.com/2021/12/16/jean-and-jorts-the-extended-metaphor-for-workplace-accommodations-nobody-needed-but-my-brain-insisted-on/
Here in Quebec, we’ll have to limit our orgies to only 10 people!
The Omicron variant is spreading quickly here, so the premier announced today that he’s restricting contacts, including holiday parties, to 10 people at a time.
No travel restrictions were given. I’m still planning to visit my partner in Ontario for Christmas, since in January he’s off to Oxford for 2 years (provided he can leave that soon). But we may have to avoid seeing his nephews, who are too young to get vaccinated.
A pity – they’re cool kids. Last year I went to the Toronto Zoo with him and his sister’s family, and she asked the older boy what animal he wanted to see at the zoo.
His answer? “A stegosaurus.”
Speaking of disappointments! But, seriously, it is discouraging to have the virus spreading again and more restrictions coming back.
@Victorious Parasol, that’s a great post! I especially liked the list at the end:
@Vicky P: I read that too (linked from Jorts’ Twitter). I hope everyone’s love for Jorts helps them understand and *properly* advocate for disabled workers.
Jorts is perfect as he is. He has an aide (Jean) to look after some of his needs (bathing), and only requires one low-cost, easy accommodation (doorstop) to handle his other major need.
Meanwhile, he does great at his job AND is a positive force for vaccination.
@ Victorious Parasol
That is a funny but somewhat disturbing story. What was this Pam person getting so upset over a cat for?
My most recent cat is… not smart, and had trouble with doors at first, so my solution was also a doorstop. She eventually figured it all out and now just leaving doors ajar is fine, but it would have been perfectly OK if she never did.
Pam sounds like she is causing problems just to cause problems. Not like Jorts is deliberately being a gold brick… Well, maybe he is. He’s a cat. Kind of in the job description for those of the feline persuasion.
@.45
From what I’ve gathered about Pam, she was very eager to shine in the workplace, and while that’s understandable/commendable, it’s also the kind of attitude that can drive you into trouble. I’ve known people a bit like Pam before, and even had to mentor some of them. Specifically I’ve known people who think that once they label something a problem, they are responsible for fixing it. Again, that can be commendable, but not if they don’t take the time to a) make sure they’ve correctly identified the problem, b) understand the big picture enough to come up with a solution that works and doesn’t create new problems, and c) *should* take responsibility for fixing the problem (as opposed to letting other people take responsibility).
@Vicky P: In addition, I got the impression Pam is a white person in a majority-PoC workplace, so she over-reacted and also went a bit White Savior.
Jorts is adorable, Jean is pretty, and their person supports unions.
This story is so wholesome. I hope Jorts and Jean get a book deal.