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Natural News says the COVID vax will make your DNA melt and basically kill everyone but anti-vax “purebloods,” so I guess it’s goodbye for you and me

Soon her DNA will be MELTING

Natural News describes itself as “a science-based natural health advocacy organization” dedicated to “empower[ing] consumers with factual information.”

In reality, it’s a conspiracy theorists dream site, running endless alarmist headlines about the “globalists” who (allegedly) want to depopulate the world — basically kill off most of the human race. Some typical headlines:

TYRANNY ALERT: Houston Health Department’s door-to-door COVID-19 vaccine “census” begins

The SMALLPOX BIOWAR – globalists prepare “perfect” scheme to cover up vaccine deaths and cancel mid-term elections by unleashing a new, deadly epidemic

So basically, I’m saying don’t go there for advice about melatonin. Or, really, anything.

Yesterday I ran across a headline at Natural News that was even more hysterical than the site’s usual fare:

Only PUREBLOODS will survive the vaccine / radiation holocaust being unleashed against humanity… the spike protein in vaccines causes genetic DISINTEGRATION

Naturally, I went to take a look at the article, which is (the site boasted)

a bombshell that needs to be understood by anyone hoping to survive the vaccine holocaust, because it’s really a “genetic bomb” against humanity.

Well OK then, I’ll bite. What are the world’s evil overlords planning this time?

It seems that they’ve (allegedly) designed COVID vaccines that “disintegrate” your healthy DNA, so that

the body can no longer repair its damaged DNA, and cells mutate out of control, devastating the entire body and bringing about genetic disintegration of the organism. …

That sounds bad.

Adding insult to injury, the vaccine (allegedly) makes it impossible for those with vaccine-tainted blood to have little disintegrating kids (allegedly).

The spike protein vaccine is an attack on the genetic integrity of humans, and those who take the vaccine will be largely unable to reproduce because their babies will self-abort due to genetic mutations.

But wait, there’s more! The “depopulation globalists” are (allegedly)planning a deadly nuclear “accident” to “accelerate the mutations among the vaccinated,” killing millions.

Importantly, once the beings on a planet are widely injected with the covid vaccine, globalists can unleash a nuclear accident (or nuclear terrorism) to distribute radiation across the planet. …

All they need is another Chernobyl, Fukushima or nuclear explosion somewhere in the Northern hemisphere — almost anywhere — and the winds will spread the radioisotopes across half the planet, achieving the low levels of ionizing radiation necessary to turn vaccinated people into cancer-ridden mutants with accelerated deaths.

BUT ARE THEY FAST ZOMBIES OR SLOW ZOMBIES? I need to know to prepare my defenses.

Oh crap, I’ve already gotten two COVID jabs. I guess I can look forwarf to being one of the cancer mutants.

So now we’ve got mutants, nuclear “accidents” and disintegrating DNA. You might wonder how this could get any worse, but Natural News is up to the challenge.

Meet the vaccine vampires!

[O]nce it becomes obvious that vaccinated individuals cannot tolerate sunlight without suffering genetic mutations, they will shun daylight and become creatures of the night.

Dude, I am way ahead of you here. I got to sleep at 6 AM this morning.

In cultural mythos, vampires are creatures of the night who suffer instantaneous disintegration when sunlight touches their skin. In reality, the disintegration will take much more time, but it’s a similar idea:

Covid vaccines + sunlight = genetic disintegration.

At this point it all sounds so terrible I’m not sure I can take much more. But Natural News isn’t done yet.

Those who reject covid vaccines are known as “purebloods.”

Yeah, that’s not how we refer to them in my neck of the woods.

They are the only ones who will be able to maintain genetic integrity for generations to come, which means the future of the human race belongs to those who reject covid vaccines.

Well, I wasn’t planning on having any kids anyway, so I guess I can survive this indignity.

[W]e are about to see an explosion in worldwide cancer due to covid vaccines. This will really accelerate in 2022, and we will easily see over one million cancer deaths in the USA during 2022 …

Any radiation release by globalists will only accelerate these numbers and cost more lives. (That’s the goal of the globalists.)

Damn those (alleged) sneaky bastards (allegedly).

Meanwhile, those who took the mRNA spike protein injections will be giving birth to mutated babies who lack genetic viability, even if they survive their own mutations.

I guess I should have known that mutant babies would play a role in this very advanced conspiracy theory.

Currently about half the human population has taken covid jabs of one kind or another, which means the depopulation globalists may have already achieved their goal of destroying fertility / genetic viability for a significant portion of the human race.

The die-off has now begun. This winter, cancer deaths will explode across America, and they will skyrocket for the next decade in those who were gullible enough to be injected with deadly spike protein bioweapons. Get ready to see a tidal wave of cancers in America, Europe, Australia, Canada and every other nation where gullible people have committed vaccine suicide.

Basically, we’re already dead (allegedly). Damn those (alleged) globalists and their (alleged) depopulation agenda!!

Yours (allegedly).

David

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Stevie
Stevie
2 years ago

This just sounds like a list of what they want to happen to anyone who doesn’t believe them.

SpecialFFrog
SpecialFFrog
2 years ago

@WATO: have you ever seen any government or corporate entity demonstrate the degree of competence and ability to keep secrets required for your grand conspiracy to be true? Hundreds of governments at various levels cooperating with no leaks of actual evidence ever?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@WATO: No vaccine is capable of going through all the trillions of cells in your body, redesigning each and every strand of DNA in exactly the same way, AND doing all the massive physical alterations to brain structure necessary to change sexual orientation. The mRNA component only lasts in the body for a few hours before disintegrating. It’s localized to the injection site, and it never touches DNA. It contains a set of temporary instructions to the cell to build spike proteins, the same spike proteins found in Covid.

If the spike proteins turn people gay, then Covid should be turning people gay in mass numbers. Which is not happening.

Maybe your friend really hit it off with the sexy male nurse giving the jab?

LollyPop
LollyPop
2 years ago

I remember when Natural News got hit with a Google Penalty for misinformation and MAN they were pissed.

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
2 years ago

Being bi, i don’t understand straight people at all. I really don’t understand people who only feel attraction to one gender or sex at all. It’s so different from what my attraction has always been. But i have gone into deep conversation about this many times with my very straight husband enough to know that there is nothing on this earth that could make him attracted to men or want another person’s penis anywhere near him. And that includes being trapped on a military base for 2 years with practically no women on it. While unable to see his wife or leave the base really because covid had Marines in lock down to.

You can’t turn a straight person gay any more then you can turn a gay person straight. There are straight people and then there are those who pretend to be straight because it’s seen as a default. Consider how womanly worked all that out thinks it is to talk about feelings. He didn’t actually know that the man he talked to wasn’t a straight man or was question his sexuality.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

You’d think all the numerous trials of mRNA vaccines in animals and humans over the past couple of decades would have uncovered all this disintegrating DNA, mutantism, infertility, sunlight aversion and gayness. Odd that the scientific literature doesn’t mention any of these things.

And how amazingly coincidental that a clickbait sensationalist news site that profits off of emotional manipulation is the only one who’s On To The Secret. Why, they must have a crack team of their very own topnotch doctoral-level scientists, all of whom turned down lucrative, well-respected academic research posts so they could go work for Natural News and Uncover The Truth.

It’s no surprise that MGTOWs gravitate to the antivax movement. Both are a symptom of “you’re not the boss of me!” syndrome. That selfish attitude is killing us, and killing the planet.

We’re at a crossroads in human history right now. Either we get our shit together as a species, realize we all need each other, cooperate, and live, or we all Go Our Own Way and doom each other to extinction. We can’t even all agree that climate change is a problem, much less muster the political will to exert pressure on governments and large corporations to stop destroying the planet for profit.

SARS-CoV2 was a trial run for humanity, which we’re failing badly, in large part due to antivaxxers and antimaskers. Because they’re too scared or too proud or too “manly” to put on a piece of cloth and protect others (and here I thought protecting others was supposed to be the essence of manliness?). Nope, they take pride in passing Covid around. It doesn’t bother them that they’re incubating more variants, putting others at risk, killing the elderly and vulnerable, and prolonging the pandemic. At best, they don’t care. At worst, they actively delight in the chaos.

Antivaxxers aren’t purebloods. They’re death eaters.

MGTOWs, meanwhile, have the chutzpah to expect endless praise and cookies for building the civilization that they’re now happily destroying by spreading moral panic about vaccines, Sesame Street, women, blacks, Jews, antifa, the LGBTQ community, and on and on (it’s a never ending list of “threats”). They expect us to believe they built the pyramids, but it’s too much effort to put on a mask. They want us to thank them for fighting and dying in WWII at the same time that they’re handing the keys to democracy over to modern-day Nazis.

I guess civilization never was all that precious, if white men are willing to burn it all down without a second thought because now they have to share.

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
2 years ago

I had a Facebook friend that I picked up in some group that I jettisoned after she kept posting links from Natural News. This was pre-Trump, so I assume she has since gone full QAnon. (She also claimed that ER doctors just let organ donors die without giving them any medical care, so they could harvest their organs, something I found incredibly, deeply offensive and harmful.)
Mike Adams, the owner of Natural News, is frequent guest on InfoWars, which really tells you all you need to know about him and his dumpster fire of misinformation.

Last edited 2 years ago by sarah_kay_gee
Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
2 years ago

@sarah_kay_gee

You can’t be completely dead in order for your organs to be viable for donation. you have to be specifically brain dead. A state where you feel no pain because you are already gone and machines are keeping your heart beating and your lungs breathing. Most people don’t die that way which is why organ donation is so important.

Malintzin
Malintzin
2 years ago

This is dreadfully ridiculous. I support and honor genuine debates about some things even when I don’t agree (I won’t go into this because I’ve offended some of my friends on the left and the right already with my views.). But this is just nonsense…pablum offered up by people who have watched far too many sci-fi and horror movies. Not one tiny bit of rational thought. (I’m vaccinated by the way, and my orientation is just the same. Lol).

Malintzin
Malintzin
2 years ago

@Elaine the Witch. The discussion of sexual attraction has been going on since, well, the time of Plato. (A Eurocentric author and an old white guy so one would think his opinion would hold some weight! lol.). Sexual attraction is what it is. I think that those who are truly attracted to men, women or both are just born that way. It’s got nothing to do with vaccines.

Malintzin
Malintzin
2 years ago

Some weight with white supremacists, I mean, lol.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

the winds will spread the radioisotopes across half the planet, achieving the low levels of ionizing radiation necessary to turn vaccinated people into cancer-ridden mutants with accelerated deaths.

Do… Do they think that not being vaccinated will somehow grant them immunity to ionizing radiation? Because that’s not how that works.

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
2 years ago

@Elaine The Witch
I am aware of all of that. Believe me, I tried to tell her the many ways in which she was wrong, but like all Facebook disagreements it ended with her digging in her heels and insisting she was right, and I was just lying or making stuff up. I’ve had the organ donor symbol on my driver’s license since I was first issued one at 17 and I’ve fundraised for UNOS, so this is not something I take lightly.

Last edited 2 years ago by sarah_kay_gee
Lumipuna
Lumipuna
2 years ago

Do they think that not being vaccinated will somehow grant them immunity to ionizing radiation? Because that’s not how that works.

Well, most of us weren’t substantially affected by the Chernobyl disaster. In fact, in most parts of the world it didn’t even make much uptick compared to other radiation sources.

These writers seem to suggest that another Chernobyl-equivalent disaster would cause X amount of radiation exposure (where X is much more than the normal background radiation) all over the northern hemisphere (where most people live), and vaccine magic would make it dangerous to people. Also, sunlight would be much more carcinogenic to vaccinated people – though then the nuclear sabotage seems somewhat redundant.

Malintzin
Malintzin
2 years ago

@WATO is a troll. No one believes this idle drivel unless he or she has spent a couple of decades locked in a bunker watching “Terminator” movies. And I’ll match my mastery of the English language against his/hers any day of the week. Therefore, he needn’t bully anyone about their spelling or punctuation, which he/she seems to like very much.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Over here every adult is deemed to be an organ donor unless they actively opt out of the system. Which you are allowed to do. Although I personally think that if you do you should also be disallowed from receiving a transplant. That’s only fair.

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/register-your-decision/

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Over here every adult is deemed to be an organ donor unless they actively opt out of the system. Which you are allowed to do. Although I personally think that if you do you should also be disallowed from receiving a transplant. That’s only fair.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Over here every adult is deemed to be an organ donor unless they actively opt out of the system. Which you are allowed to do. Although I personally think that if you do you should also be disallowed from receiving a transplant. That seems only fair.

https://www.organdonation.nhs.uk/uk-laws/

Last edited 2 years ago by Alan Robertshaw
LouCPurr
LouCPurr
2 years ago

WATO is definitely having some fun here. He once experimented sexually with this guy who then went totally straight until he was vaccinated. Someone is typing one-handed because he’s stifling his giggles with the other.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants:

Because they’re too scared or too proud or too “manly” to put on a piece of cloth and protect others (and here I thought protecting others was supposed to be the essence of manliness?).

This is how you can tell that their rhetoric about protecting others is not genuine: if they’re asked to protect others in any way that doesn’t involve picking up a gun and killing yet others, they’re not interested or are even actively hostile to the suggestion.

So, what they really want is to kill people, and “protecting others” is just an excuse that might legitimize (to themselves, and to others) their doing so.

From this, one may infer that anyone who talks about their manly protector role vis-a-vis their family or society or what-have-you and who is also anti-mask is actually a wanna-be murderer itching to pick up an AR and go rack up a body count, Rittenhouse-style. If they haven’t already done so. If they’re a soldier or a cop they may well have done. Or if there’s a suspicious hummock in the 40 acres they have out back …

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

Weighing in on the orientation debate … I don’t know exactly where I would fall on the Kinsey scale, but I call myself straight, or even “I’m a Mr. Parasol-sexual,” because ever since we met, he has been The One for me.

I don’t think sexual orientation can change (for reasons already explained by Buttercup and others here), but I do think a person can admit to themselves that they were wrong about their orientation. There’s still a lot of pressure to be straight in North American culture in general, and that’s not getting into family dynamics playing a part. For example, Samantha Field, a blogger who grew up in a very strict fundamentalist family, always assumed she was straight because that’s what her family and her religion told her to be. But later on, she realized that she found women sexually attractive. She’s happily married to her husband, and she identifies as bisexual. No contradiction: She thought she was straight until she did some introspection and also shook off her early programming, then realized, “Hey, I’m bi.”

Was Samantha lying to herself? I don’t think that’s the correct verb to use. I think she had to unpack a truth that was hidden deeply within her, overcoming a lot of messaging that told her who she had to be. I doubt Samantha’s the only person like this. But I’m not a researcher into that field, and I don’t usually ask about my friends’ orientation unless they’re moaning about being lonely and want to talk about the kind of person they’re looking for.

Life’s too short to insist people keep the labels they were assigned.

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
2 years ago

@Alan

To be fair many religions and cultures say a body needs to be whole in order to be put to rest, or else the person can’t get into the afterlife, or their spirit will wander looking for the part of them that is missing.

Fishy Goat
Fishy Goat
2 years ago

*had Moderna in April*
*checks self*
Nope, still bisexual. *neenerneener*

Dreamer
Dreamer
2 years ago

I got my booster shot! I have anti-vaxxers in the extended family tho so it looks like I won’t be attending holiday big family gatherings. I’ll stick with my medical professional and scientist family members.

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
2 years ago

This is fairly tangential to the discussion, but the whole “vampires are harmed by sunlight” thing was invented for the movies. The Hammer Dracula films likely popularized it, and I think that’s how they get Nosferatu in his movie, but I know of no vampire folk tales in which all you needed to do was drag the coffin outside during the day.