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Natural News says the COVID vax will make your DNA melt and basically kill everyone but anti-vax “purebloods,” so I guess it’s goodbye for you and me

Soon her DNA will be MELTING

Natural News describes itself as “a science-based natural health advocacy organization” dedicated to “empower[ing] consumers with factual information.”

In reality, it’s a conspiracy theorists dream site, running endless alarmist headlines about the “globalists” who (allegedly) want to depopulate the world — basically kill off most of the human race. Some typical headlines:

TYRANNY ALERT: Houston Health Department’s door-to-door COVID-19 vaccine “census” begins

The SMALLPOX BIOWAR – globalists prepare “perfect” scheme to cover up vaccine deaths and cancel mid-term elections by unleashing a new, deadly epidemic

So basically, I’m saying don’t go there for advice about melatonin. Or, really, anything.

Yesterday I ran across a headline at Natural News that was even more hysterical than the site’s usual fare:

Only PUREBLOODS will survive the vaccine / radiation holocaust being unleashed against humanity… the spike protein in vaccines causes genetic DISINTEGRATION

Naturally, I went to take a look at the article, which is (the site boasted)

a bombshell that needs to be understood by anyone hoping to survive the vaccine holocaust, because it’s really a “genetic bomb” against humanity.

Well OK then, I’ll bite. What are the world’s evil overlords planning this time?

It seems that they’ve (allegedly) designed COVID vaccines that “disintegrate” your healthy DNA, so that

the body can no longer repair its damaged DNA, and cells mutate out of control, devastating the entire body and bringing about genetic disintegration of the organism. …

That sounds bad.

Adding insult to injury, the vaccine (allegedly) makes it impossible for those with vaccine-tainted blood to have little disintegrating kids (allegedly).

The spike protein vaccine is an attack on the genetic integrity of humans, and those who take the vaccine will be largely unable to reproduce because their babies will self-abort due to genetic mutations.

But wait, there’s more! The “depopulation globalists” are (allegedly)planning a deadly nuclear “accident” to “accelerate the mutations among the vaccinated,” killing millions.

Importantly, once the beings on a planet are widely injected with the covid vaccine, globalists can unleash a nuclear accident (or nuclear terrorism) to distribute radiation across the planet. …

All they need is another Chernobyl, Fukushima or nuclear explosion somewhere in the Northern hemisphere — almost anywhere — and the winds will spread the radioisotopes across half the planet, achieving the low levels of ionizing radiation necessary to turn vaccinated people into cancer-ridden mutants with accelerated deaths.

BUT ARE THEY FAST ZOMBIES OR SLOW ZOMBIES? I need to know to prepare my defenses.

Oh crap, I’ve already gotten two COVID jabs. I guess I can look forwarf to being one of the cancer mutants.

So now we’ve got mutants, nuclear “accidents” and disintegrating DNA. You might wonder how this could get any worse, but Natural News is up to the challenge.

Meet the vaccine vampires!

[O]nce it becomes obvious that vaccinated individuals cannot tolerate sunlight without suffering genetic mutations, they will shun daylight and become creatures of the night.

Dude, I am way ahead of you here. I got to sleep at 6 AM this morning.

In cultural mythos, vampires are creatures of the night who suffer instantaneous disintegration when sunlight touches their skin. In reality, the disintegration will take much more time, but it’s a similar idea:

Covid vaccines + sunlight = genetic disintegration.

At this point it all sounds so terrible I’m not sure I can take much more. But Natural News isn’t done yet.

Those who reject covid vaccines are known as “purebloods.”

Yeah, that’s not how we refer to them in my neck of the woods.

They are the only ones who will be able to maintain genetic integrity for generations to come, which means the future of the human race belongs to those who reject covid vaccines.

Well, I wasn’t planning on having any kids anyway, so I guess I can survive this indignity.

[W]e are about to see an explosion in worldwide cancer due to covid vaccines. This will really accelerate in 2022, and we will easily see over one million cancer deaths in the USA during 2022 …

Any radiation release by globalists will only accelerate these numbers and cost more lives. (That’s the goal of the globalists.)

Damn those (alleged) sneaky bastards (allegedly).

Meanwhile, those who took the mRNA spike protein injections will be giving birth to mutated babies who lack genetic viability, even if they survive their own mutations.

I guess I should have known that mutant babies would play a role in this very advanced conspiracy theory.

Currently about half the human population has taken covid jabs of one kind or another, which means the depopulation globalists may have already achieved their goal of destroying fertility / genetic viability for a significant portion of the human race.

The die-off has now begun. This winter, cancer deaths will explode across America, and they will skyrocket for the next decade in those who were gullible enough to be injected with deadly spike protein bioweapons. Get ready to see a tidal wave of cancers in America, Europe, Australia, Canada and every other nation where gullible people have committed vaccine suicide.

Basically, we’re already dead (allegedly). Damn those (alleged) globalists and their (alleged) depopulation agenda!!

Yours (allegedly).

David

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Bit O/T but thought people might find interesting.

There’s a defamation case at the moment. It’s that football club owner Abramovich suing the publishers of a book with the title ‘Putin’s People: How the KGB Took Back Russia and Then Took on the West‘.

At the moment the case is in its preliminary stages, but one of the supposed defamatory statements is the following:

(The Claimant) moved to New York at the direction of President Putin in order to cultivate influence with the family of Donald Trump on the Kremlin’s behalf.

The Claimant with his then wife developed a friendship with President Donald Trump’s daughter (Ivanka Trump), son-in-law (Jared Kushner) and Kushner’s brother in part to further the Putin regime’s influence with President Trump, whose policies the Putin regime regarded with good reason as inimical to American interests and favourable to Russian interests.

The judge has ruled that’s one of the issues that can go to trial. So it will be fascinating to see what evidence comes out about that.

Full judgment here:

https://www.bailii.org/ew/cases/EWHC/QB/2021/3154.html

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
2 years ago

The traditional explanation for why vampires don’t show up in mirrors or photographs is because of their aversion to silver. Film utilising sliver nitrate and old mirrors being silver backed. But presumably they do show up on digital cameras?

Was not aware of this explanation. An RPG that I played had vampires that had no reflection or shadow because that part of their ‘soul’ was missing (referenced the ‘ka’ and the ‘ba’ from egyptian mythology, not sure which one it was). Funnily enough, this also meant that they couldn’t use phones and be recorded either, and that their voices sounded off as they left no echo. So automatic doors presumably would not pick them up either.

As for invitation, I’ve seen a lot of speculation as to whether it is the home this is important or the structure: For instance, would a vampire be able to enter an apartment complex without problem and need to be invited into the apartments separately, or would an invitation to the complex itself be required and grant access to everything? And is one insists that an invitation is required for both, why. Can a burglar invite the vampire in, or does it have to be someone who lives there? If so, how long, and what determines whether one lives there. If the landlord doesn’t live in the building but does own it, could they invite a vampire in?

I know, suspension of disbelief, but I do find it fun to think about. Also, Sheridan Lefanu’s Carmilla needs to receive more credit in vampire fandoms (and generally, really). That book precedes Dracula by 18 years, after all, and used some tropes that Dracula often gets credited with creating.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Another legal case today that might be of interest.

The background is that there’s a guy who has no understanding of consent. Quite literally, he’s apparently incapable of such things.

So the local authority applied for an order effectively prohibiting him from initiating any contact with women or being alone with them etc.

At first instance the judge refused on the grounds that was discriminatory because you couldn’t pre-emptively limit the personal activities of a person with a disability just because of what they might do.

The Court of Appeal though said that on public protection grounds you could, and allowed the order. Today, the Supreme Court has upheld the CoA’s reasoning.

So a very tricky interface of disability rights vs rights of society as a whole.

I guess this is also relevant to the general individual freedom vs harm to others point of this thread.

Someone cleverer than me has done a good overview here:

https://www.mentalcapacitylawandpolicy.org.uk/capacity-consent-and-sexual-relations-the-supreme-court-decides/

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
2 years ago

Alan quoted:

(The Claimant) moved to New York at the direction of President Putin in order to cultivate influence with the family of Donald Trump on the Kremlin’s behalf.

The Claimant with his then wife developed a friendship with President Donald Trump’s daughter (Ivanka Trump), son-in-law (Jared Kushner) and Kushner’s brother in part to further the Putin regime’s influence with President Trump, whose policies the Putin regime regarded with good reason as inimical to American interests and favourable to Russian interests.

This sounds vaguely reminiscent of cold war era Soviet diplomacy in Finland:

Home Russian – Wikipedia

The brief English Wiki article mainly describes kotiryssät as spies (which they undoubtedly were, when given easy opportunities to access relevant information), but officially they were supposed to act as personal advisors on soviet policy (on the side of their formal diplomatic duties), making sure that Finnish politicians and business leaders always knew how to best “maintain good relations” with the USSR.

(The Finnish nickname for these advisors, kotiryssä, uses an old-fashioned an generally derogatory name for “Russian”. In some contexts, ryssä might be rendered in English as “Russkie”, but the Finnish meaning is broader and historically far more resonant.)

Last edited 2 years ago by Lumipuna
Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

One question to ask is: “Is a vampire’s level of access to spaces the same as that of a cop without a warrant?”

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
2 years ago

One question to ask is: “Is a vampire’s level of access to spaces the same as that of a cop without a warrant?”

Ooooh. I like that phrasing!

Allandrel
Allandrel
2 years ago

In the Ravenloft D&D setting, Count Strahd Von Zarovich of Barovia (vampiric ruler of Barovia) is legally the owner of every building in his domain, and so can enter any of them freely.

(How he could or could not enter buildings outside of Barovia is unknown, as like other Darklords he cannot leave his domain’s borders.)

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
2 years ago

Heh. I’ve been writing stories where I took the whole ‘reflections’ aspect (originally with respect to a kitsune, which show their true forms in reflections) and abstracted that out by making the ‘shapeshifting’ essentially a form of psychic invisibility, so when you’re looking directly at them you see what they want you to see, but when you see them in any other way (reflections, photographs, even digital ones) you see what’s actually there. Then I extended that out to all shapeshifters, including vampires.

In this world (based on the latest story I wrote) vampires are ‘invisible’ in mirrors because they are essentially a hive mind superimposed upon a swarm of insects, and so their reflection only shows insects, and poorly-polished mirrors will barely show even that. Crosses had no effect (this one vampire was masquerading as a priest) but they’re immortal as long as they can keep providing replacements for the swarm, and they keep around a coffin of dirt and rotting meat to help grow the next replacements.

It has been interesting how one decision early on with a story I wrote twenty years ago has had so many follow-on effects as I try to keep the world internally consistent… but then again, I always was a bit of a world-builder at heart.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ lumipuna

It’s not actually illegal to be a spy per se in the UK. But there’s a clause in the upcoming new Espionage Act that requires all spies and covert agents to register with the UK government. They will also have to provide periodic updates on what they have been doing, who they report to, and what fees they receive in return. If they don’t then they can be deported for working without the necessary permit.

One of the more interesting post Brexit bits of legislation.

Of course, if they can drive a lorry we’ll probably let them stay anyway.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
2 years ago

@Jenora Feuer:

In this world (based on the latest story I wrote) vampires are ‘invisible’ in mirrors because they are essentially a hive mind superimposed upon a swarm of insects,

Mosquitoes? 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Back in the day there was a kids’ TV show called The Little Vampire. I can barely remember the plot; but the theme music is awesome!

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

About 10 years ago, there was a Canadian kids’ show called “My Babysitter Is A Vampire”. It was actually pretty good. Tweens got into various paranormal adventures, not too scary.

I enjoyed the episode where they parodied the ghost hunter genre, it was spot-on and also contained a vicious spoof of “Twilight”. They had to make sure the Very Extremely Manly ghost hunter didn’t put their vampire friend on live TV, of course. And of course he screamed like a little girl and went away.

Normally I don’t watch this kind of thing, but one of the writers was a FOAF I met and liked, and I promised I’d tune in. It was much better than it needed to be. And the director was named Attila.

tim gueguen
2 years ago

Personally I suspect Adams lifted the radiation bit from Mick Farren’s Victor Renquist novels, where vampires are vulnerable to radiation.

Old School HTML
Old School HTML
2 years ago

One of my favorite vampire/sky-objects links is in Varney the Vampire, a pre-Bram Stoker novel (penny dreadful originally)… no worries about sunlight….but moonlight? That could heal anything, including physical death.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
2 years ago

A bit late to the party, but re: things that influenced Dracula and other classic vampire stories, Ask a Mortician recently made a video on “America’s forgotten vampire panic”.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=teFCP69trOI

@ Alan
Thanks for that! Just last week or so I was thinking back to a scene from that, wondering if it was a movie or something, but it must’ve been that TV show. Now the only mystery is whether it aired as the English or the German language version. I have a dim memory of vaguely understanding what someone said as I read the subtitles, but then again it’s not like I actually understood English back then and I also had German as an elective…

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
2 years ago

@Surplus to Requirements:
That is rather where I was going, yes, even if I deliberately left things a bit vague.

Re: vampires in general:
I did read an article not too long ago that suggested that one of the original sources of vampire legends might have been, of all things, rabies. It’s a disease that people can get after they’re bitten; photo-sensitivity is a common symptom and so people infected often avoid the light; hydrophobia another symptom; and in the late stages people are more likely to try to bite others. Add in that early cases would have been seen by villagers who were living at the edge of the woods where the disease might have been endemic in the animal population, and then reported elsewhere by soldiers who came in to investigate and got told why people were trying to burn the ‘cursed’ corpse, and a couple of games of telephone with reports later, the stories have spiralled out of control.
https://getpocket.com/explore/item/more-disease-than-dracula-how-the-vampire-myth-was-born

Another thought: Kari Maaren is a local author and songwriter, who wrote a song a few years back called ‘Kids These Days’, about an old Nosferatu-style vampire who’s really annoyed at the more modern vampire craze as embodied in things like Twilight, to the point where he’s seriously considering becoming a vampre slayer himself to thin the herd a bit.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
2 years ago

How can anyone have a discussion on literary vampires and not mention the best one of all, beating out even the Count himself – Bunnicula!

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunnicula

The terror of vegetable gardens everywhere needs his due!

Full Metal Ox
Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

@Redsilkphoenix:

Not a literary character (unless he made into tie-in books), but another terror of the produce department was Morgan Freeman’s Vincent the Vegetable Vampire from the original Electric Company:



Vincent also provided instruction in proper vampiric hygiene (as well as unexpected fanservice):

Last edited 2 years ago by Full Metal Ox
Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
2 years ago

@Dormousing_it:

I don’t know what drugs the folks at Natural News are on,

Every narcotic and hallucinogen known to science plus two or three that aren’t.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
2 years ago

Having now gotten an eyeful of young sudsy Morgan Freeman, I’m wondering why he didn’t become a big star much earlier.

On topic, we discussed this dumbass “theory” at Thanksgiving dinner, as well as the amenities of the different places we’d all gotten our boosters. Mine won for having a choice of lovely beverages afterwards.

Anna
Anna
2 years ago

I cannot see any signs of morphing into a witcher unfortunatelly. Looking forward to third jab

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

@ Anna

I got vaccinated first, thanks to my job and my health history, so I’d gotten my second jab a couple weeks before Mr. Parasol did. The pharmacist who gave him jab #2 was great – lightly joking with my husband because Mr. Parasol does not like needles, and I chimed in that I’d gotten my second round with no problems. “Aww, no superpowers?” the pharmacist teased me.

I paused for a moment, then said, “Well, I still work in healthcare.”

Humor mode disengaged, the pharmacist gave me a sympathetic look, then asked me where I worked. I named the major diagnostic lab company in question, and his sympathy deepened. We exchanged a brief round of facial expressions that translated to something like, “Yeah, wish we could stop being heroic, but it’s a never-ending battle and we’re still in it.”

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