In this age of COVID and QAnon, you might not think conspiracy theorists would have any trouble finding new things to theorize about.
But inspiration seems a little lacking on the Conspiracy subreddit.
Exhibit One: A posting with the all-too relatable title “Everything annoys me now” by someone calling himself tjsurvives.
“Since being awakened,” he writes,
not only do I feel the anxiety of knowing more about what’s going on, I am questioning everything. And being annoyed by the shiny objects that they try to distract us with.
Well, at least we know this guy isn’t a cat. Cats are all about shiny objects.
Sorry, I think I distracted myself with that.
I met someone today who had scented shoes. Shoes. Funny yes the joke of let me smell your feet I get it but this stuff is just distraction.
Er, what? Scented shoes are proof of some vast conspiracy? What are scented shoes, anyway? Just shoes with a scent? (A presumably nice scent, and not just regular foot odor.) What is even going on.
Oh, ok, after a little Googlng I learned that Melissa brand shoes are scented like bubblegum to “to add to the Melissa experience … it is one of our most talked about features.”
I guess so!
But how on earth are scented shoes part of the vast globalist conspiracy to annoy Reddit user tjsurvives?
There’s no explanation for that, because he’s moved on to a new subjct.
And passing a car lot I saw they now have the ‘22 models in stock. The car is not really a ‘22 model. It was made either this year or prior. It’s just a label. Who knows when it was made!
I think the real questions might be “who fucking cares?”
Honestly, so far tjsurvives’ post reads like the transcript of the world’s worst comedy set.
What’s the deal with 2022 Buicks?
But it’s just little games to make us feel like we have power.
We think we have power wearing our scented shoes in a brand new 2022 Buick?
Everyday the veil lifts more and I see the constant nonsense around us.
Are you sure you’re not just looking in a mirror?
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