Everyone’s favorite fallen angel has been busy!
Satan’s week started out with the dark lord getting called out by Newsmax host Emerald Robinson for his dastardly plan to inject hapless brainwashed citizens with a vaccine loaded with a tracking substance called Luciferase, which actually is a thing that exists — some kind of bio-luminescent goop, derived from fireflies, that allows doctors and scientists to see how shit spreads in the body, hence the name, which incorporates the Latin word for “light.” (Lucifer means “light bringer” in Latin. But no one remembers that, and whoever invented Luciferase should have maybe thought that name through a little more carefully.)
Anyway, there’s actually no Luciferase in the vaccines, but that didn’t stop Robinson and others for denouncing it as a “Satanic tracker” that would enable the evil government to see where you are at all times. (Which your phone already does, by the way.)
Robinson got suspended from Twitter (and from her job at Newsmax) for spreading false information. But that didn’t stop her from spreading it around a bit more on her Substack, where she declared that
Under the cover of vaccinating people, we are really preparing to tag and track people. The once free nations of the West are testing a new authoritarian system of total control under the guise of public health. …
This will inevitably lead very soon to biometric ID embedded into your body. You won’t be able to enter restaurants or buy groceries or go to work without it. As the Bible says: no one will be able to buy or sell anything except those that have the mark. You will know the mark by its name, which is the name of the beast: the enemy of all mankind who, before he fell, was an angel of light named …
… Lucifer. That’s why “Luciferase” should send a chill down your spine.
Now, I’m no theologian, just a longtime reader of Chick Tracts, but I’m pretty, pretty sure that Lucifer and The Beast are two separate guys. Might want to fix that in your blog before the End of Days commences.
Now we move from the absurd to the truly tragic: the deaths of eight concertgoers at Travis Scott’s AstroWorld festival, asphyxiated by the crush of an unrestrained crowd packed into too small a space. It’s appalling, and was entirely avoidable had those running the concert looked into similar tragedies before like the Who concert tragedy in 1979 that left 11 dead or any of the similar crowd-crush tragedies that have happened since them.
Instead of trying to understand the dangerous mistakes planners made in setting up this concert, so tragedies like this can be avoided in the future, assorted dipshits, including the folks at Infowars and The Gateway Pundit have decided to blame it on … Satan, or at least his earthly minions.
While The Gateway Pundit described the events as being “like a Satanic ritual,” others left out the “like” and asserted that it WAS a Satanic ritual.
“It was demonic,” claimed one attendee in a video quoted by the Gateway Pundit.
It just felt like we [were] like, literally, like in f***ing hell, bro. … You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t see. … It was so many bodies who [were] laid out. … That was demonic shit. … The whole crowd was going, ‘Help! Help!’ and he just kept going, bro. It was scary – it was so demonic.”
Some, as the Daily Dot pointed out, described the whole thing as an “energy harvesting event,” others as “a public voodoo sacrifice ritual advertised as a music festival.”
It didn’t really help that the sets for he show seemed to have been designed by Hieronymus Bosch.
And then on a somewhat lighter note there was Big Bird, who announced Friday on Twitter that he got his vaccine jab and real life kids should get it too. Ted Cruz called the tweet “government propaganda for your 5 year old” but others thought they saw the hand of … could it be? … SATAN.
Damn. Big Bird was never my favorite Sesame Street character but that seems harsh.
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@WWTH: thanks for the link. Viggo as Satan gave me pantsfeels.
The NPR story (which for some reason I can’t link) shows that apparently ABBA is 71.4% less Satanic than Travis Scott, but John Davidson was 2357% more Satanic. Search for “Astroworld Festival”. And Astroworld had 700% more deaths than Altamont, which was literally staffed by Hell’s Angels.
I don’t know what that all means, but it makes at least as much sense as the above rantings do, and doesn’t bring child molesting into it, plus math!
I have a stong dislike of Christian pop and its in-church analog: praise music. I have spent many years in various church choirs, and dug most of that music, and had a hard time figuring out what bugged me so much about the former. Then, while being subjected to a praise-music version of a hymn I liked, it hit me. Whoever did the arranging made no effort to make the lyrics scan. In some places it seems like they were going out of their way to make it not scan. Thinking back, I realized that lack of scanning was endemic to that sort of music. I have no idea if that is a stylistic choice, or just laziness, but it bugs the crap out of me every time I hear that style of music.
@moregeekthan:
I’m not sure either ‘stylistic choice’ or ‘laziness’ are wholly true; I think the real answer could be categorized as either. Specifically, I think the real answer is pretty much ‘this is the short list of approved melodies because we don’t want our parishioners to have to memorize too many songs; this is the authorized set of words which we’re not going to admit is a translation anyway; let’s just mash them together as well as we can.’
Basically the lyrics and melody were written completely separately, and there aren’t many options for the melody because they can’t create new ones anymore.
@ jenora & moregeekthan (& David F)
Sort of related, there’s that mystery as to whether the band on the Titanic played Nearer my god to thee as the ship went down.
The general consensus is that they didn’t. Not only do most witnesses say the band just played cheerful music; as one to the survivors pointed out, it would have been a bit tasteless to remind everyone they were doomed.
However a number of witnesses in the lifeboats say they heard it. And to get onto the bit that ties into Jenora’s point, one of the survivors was a little girl at the time. She didn’t recognise the music. But years later she was in a church and she heard Nearer my god to thee for the most time. She said that was the song the band played. What is interesting, and persuasive perhaps, in that is that that particular church used a different tune to the regular one; but it was also the same version used by the congregation the band leader was a member of. So that would be supportive of the idea that’s what the band played.
Generally though the explanation is the band played Songe d’automne. That was a dancehall tune that sounds a bit like the hymn.
Oh, and to bring in David F, one of the witnesses was May Futrelle. She was a writer too.
@ jenora & moregeekthan (& David F)
Sort of related, there’s that mystery as to whether the band on the Titanic played Nearer my god to thee as the ship went down.
The general consensus is that they didn’t. Not only do most witnesses say the band just played cheerful music; as one to the survivors pointed out, it would have been a bit tasteless to remind everyone they were doomed.
However a number of witnesses in the lifeboats say they heard it. And to get onto the bit that ties into Jenora’s point, one of the survivors was a little girl at the time. She didn’t recognise the music. But years later she was in a church and she heard Nearer my god to thee for the most time. She said that was the song the band played. What is interesting, and persuasive perhaps, in that is that that particular church used a different tune to the regular one; but it was also the same version used by the congregation the band leader was a member of. So that would be supportive of the idea that’s what the band played.
Generally though the explanation is the band played Songe d’automne. That was a dancehall tune that sounds a bit like the hymn.
Oh, and to bring in David F, one of those witnesses was May Futrelle. She was a writer too.
Since apparently I keep having to say it: If you could get a chip and power supply able to do anything useful through a vaccine needle, and keep the body from digesting them, there would be much better applications for it than tracking people. This goes well past double for the kind of nanotech you’d need to generate a readable code inside the body.
Also, the odds are very good that you pay your mobile carrier for the privilege of carrying at least one tracking device anyway.
@ jenora & moregeekthan (& David F)
Sort of related, there’s that mystery as to whether the band on the Titanic played Nearer my god to thee as the ship went down.
The general consensus is that they didn’t. Not only do most witnesses say the band just played cheerful music; as one to the survivors pointed out, it would have been a bit tasteless to remind everyone they were doomed.
However a number of witnesses in the lifeboats say they heard it. And to get onto the bit that ties into Jenora’s point, one of the survivors was a little girl at the time. She didn’t recognise the music. But years later she was in a church and she heard Nearer my god to thee for the first time. She said that was the song the band played. What is interesting, and persuasive perhaps, in that is that that particular church used a different tune to the regular one; but it was also the same version used by the congregation the band leader was a member of. So that would be supportive of the idea that’s what the band played.
Generally though the explanation is the band played Songe d’automne. That was a dancehall tune that sounds a bit like the hymn.
Oh, and to bring in David F, one of those witnesses was May Futrelle. She was a writer too.
@jenora Ah, good point. The words and music being written more-or-less independently and the mashed together would explain why those songs often scan so poorly.
@Jenora Feuer—
Yes, but wasn’t it standard with 19th-century Protestant hymn tunes to use a common metre specifically to avoid that problem (i.e. it didn’t matter if your congregation only knew/liked a half-dozen hymn tunes because the tunes and the lyrics were all composed to be interchangeable anyway)?
Which may be why Moregeekthan enjoyed the church-choir music, but not the modern evangelical “praise music,” if the latter have abandoned that practical tradition.
“biometric ID embedded into your body”
JFC. I’d like to see Robinson give one single example of someone who has ever gone to work or gone grocery shopping without their fingerprints and/ or retinas.
@Stop Sign: I’m pretty sure there are people sans eyes or fingerprints who go shopping, but probably not both. In any case, that’s an amount of people so small as to not show up among 7.8 billion.
And I don’t think there are people who go shopping without their entire face, and facial recognition is a big thing.
The other problem with “Christian music” is, besides not scanning, it’s relentlessly in 4/4. And it never has any swing or syncopation. Proper old-school gospel does, which is part of what makes it better, same with older hymns and sacred music.
One Xmas my mom sang a solo of “Go Tell It On the Mountain” and in the first rehearsal the accompanist was plonking along Whitely. Mom had learned it from her Black nanny, so she insisted it was sung correctly.
It ain’t got a thing if it ain’t got that swing.
A friend of mine from highschool Named her baby Luci. it was short for Lucifer. Luciefer is that child’s legal name on her birth certificate.
@GSS ex-noob:
Well, then, I’ve got some bad news for you, about a pandemic …
It’s not Bill Gates or Satan you have to worry about tracking your every movement…
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/10/cats-track-their-owners-movements-research-finds
Indeed; It occurs to me that there’s no point for an ID to be biometric if it’s physically attached to the body it purports to identify.
(And how would an invisible nanochip be biometric anyway?)
Wait, is the Covid vaccination project used for tagging and tracking people, or is it just preparation/testing/practice run for somesuch project? Are all the other vaccines also practice runs? And what else? How much testing is needed until we get to the real deal?
@Lumipuna
Ah, but you are assuming that “biometric” means anything to these people besides “scary technology.”
I don’t know why it bothers me so much but in the chick tract linked above among people fighting and committing adultery you see a gay couple pledging their undying love for each other and that’s all supposed to be signs of the end times. I know I shouldn’t expect anything less than blatant homophobia from Jack Chick, but It just really hits home hard that the only couple acting in a monogamous and kind way were blasphemy due to being gay.
@Surplus: Yes, but these sort of people are anti-mask, so facial recognition works just fine on them. Also gait recognition.
@Jenora Feuer, @Moon Custafer,
All this church music talk reminds me of a story about a well-known 18th (19th?) century composer of hymns who repurposed old drinking songs for his music. When he was asked why, he reportedly responded “Why should the Devil have all the good music?”
The description of how current Christian music is constrained to only a couple of medleys and to only certain words explains something I’ve noticed with a great deal of stuff marketed to the ‘devout’ Christians. A lot of the artwork in stuff like the Biblical kids’ books and the covers of a lot of the devotional books are so…bland. Like the artists were essentially phoning it in instead of letting the material inspire their muse. Which is a very sad way to do all your art, not being allowed to do anything slightly different than some blandness that represents ‘good’ because that would be allowing ‘the world’ and therefore corruption into the minds of the true believers. If that makes sense..?
@Gerry Sherry,
The first time I recall seeing those two guys (or two similar to them in another tract) I thought they were supposed to be ex-cons, given how they were drawn back then. Then again, given how the artwork and some of the dialogue gets updated every now and then, maybe the tract I saw did have them as ex-cons, while the version up there has them looking more…hippie-ish? Not sure what the best way to describe them might be.
@Redsilkphoenix:
All this church music talk reminds me of a story about a well-known 18th (19th?) century composer of hymns who repurposed old drinking songs for his music. When he was asked why, he reportedly responded “Why should the Devil have all the good music?”
20th-century composer Larry Norman would ask precisely that musical question, although Cliff Richards’ cover is better known:
@Alan Robertshaw: 616? So Satan is from western Michigan? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Area_code_616
@Full Metal Ox,
Cool video of that idea. Plus cool story you posted earlier. Thanks.
@personalpest,
616 is also the world ID number for the mainstream Marvel Comics Universe timeline. Which would go a long way to explain certain features of that reality, to be honest. (Blame Alan Moore; he came up with that number in his original Captain Britain run.)
@ personalpest
Well we know from the song that the Devil has to live North of Georgia; so that makes sense.
ETA: Hmm, people are already selling their souls as NFTs; but I wonder, is there a market for indulgences? I can’t see the church has the monopoly on salvation; so it would be a nice new take on an old tradition.