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armageddon conspiracy theory newsmax satan

Busy week for Satan: From “Luciferase” to the AstroWorld tragedy to … Big Bird?

Everyone’s favorite fallen angel has been busy!

Satan’s week started out with the dark lord getting called out by Newsmax host Emerald Robinson for his dastardly plan to inject hapless brainwashed citizens with a vaccine loaded with a tracking substance called Luciferase, which actually is a thing that exists — some kind of bio-luminescent goop, derived from fireflies, that allows doctors and scientists to see how shit spreads in the body, hence the name, which incorporates the Latin word for “light.” (Lucifer means “light bringer” in Latin. But no one remembers that, and whoever invented Luciferase should have maybe thought that name through a little more carefully.)

Anyway, there’s actually no Luciferase in the vaccines, but that didn’t stop Robinson and others for denouncing it as a “Satanic tracker” that would enable the evil government to see where you are at all times. (Which your phone already does, by the way.)

Robinson got suspended from Twitter (and from her job at Newsmax) for spreading false information. But that didn’t stop her from spreading it around a bit more on her Substack, where she declared that

Under the cover of vaccinating people, we are really preparing to tag and track people. The once free nations of the West are testing a new authoritarian system of total control under the guise of public health. …

This will inevitably lead very soon to biometric ID embedded into your body. You won’t be able to enter restaurants or buy groceries or go to work without it. As the Bible says: no one will be able to buy or sell anything except those that have the mark. You will know the mark by its name, which is the name of the beast: the enemy of all mankind who, before he fell, was an angel of light named …

… Lucifer. That’s why “Luciferase” should send a chill down your spine.

Now, I’m no theologian, just a longtime reader of Chick Tracts, but I’m pretty, pretty sure that Lucifer and The Beast are two separate guys. Might want to fix that in your blog before the End of Days commences.

Now we move from the absurd to the truly tragic: the deaths of eight concertgoers at Travis Scott’s AstroWorld festival, asphyxiated by the crush of an unrestrained crowd packed into too small a space. It’s appalling, and was entirely avoidable had those running the concert looked into similar tragedies before like the Who concert tragedy in 1979 that left 11 dead or any of the similar crowd-crush tragedies that have happened since them.

Instead of trying to understand the dangerous mistakes planners made in setting up this concert, so tragedies like this can be avoided in the future, assorted dipshits, including the folks at Infowars and The Gateway Pundit have decided to blame it on … Satan, or at least his earthly minions.

While The Gateway Pundit described the events as being “like a Satanic ritual,” others left out the “like” and asserted that it WAS a Satanic ritual.

“It was demonic,” claimed one attendee in a video quoted by the Gateway Pundit.

It just felt like we [were] like, literally, like in f***ing hell, bro. … You couldn’t breathe. You couldn’t see. … It was so many bodies who [were] laid out. … That was demonic shit. … The whole crowd was going, ‘Help! Help!’ and he just kept going, bro. It was scary – it was so demonic.”

Some, as the Daily Dot pointed out, described the whole thing as an “energy harvesting event,” others as “a public voodoo sacrifice ritual advertised as a music festival.”

It didn’t really help that the sets for he show seemed to have been designed by Hieronymus Bosch.

And then on a somewhat lighter note there was Big Bird, who announced Friday on Twitter that he got his vaccine jab and real life kids should get it too. Ted Cruz called the tweet “government propaganda for your 5 year old” but others thought they saw the hand of … could it be? … SATAN.

Damn. Big Bird was never my favorite Sesame Street character but that seems harsh.

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Alan Robertshaw
25 days ago

Apropos nothing really…

The first safety matches were sold under the name Lucifers

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Big Bird was intended to fly on the space shuttle, to teach kids about space. But they just couldn’t work out the practical issues with room for the costume. So instead they had to send a regular teacher. Poor old Christa McAuliffe.

oncewasmagnificent
oncewasmagnificent
25 days ago

Know your WWI singalongs. Such as Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
….
While you’ve a Lucifer to light your fag,
Smile boys that’s the style
What’s the use of worrying,
It never was worthwhile
So ….Pack up your troubles in your old kit bag
And smile, smile, smile.

Something to jolly you on your way to hellholes like the Somme and its many – far too many – similar places.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
25 days ago

It’s amazing to me the things that reactionaries claim are “grooming” Whether it’s encouraging vaccination or the Girl Guides, which acknowledged asexuality and pissed off the TERFs. Yet, they’re fine with actual abuse.

Anyway obligatory,
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Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
25 days ago

Robinson got suspended from … her job at Newsmax … for spreading false information.

Wait, what? That’s grounds for being fired at Newsmax?

So, Newsmax is now a fully automated business with zero employees?

That’s some scary Skynet-level shit right there.

Now, I’m no theologian, just a longtime reader of Chick Tracts, but I’m pretty, pretty sure that Lucifer and The Beast are two separate guys.

A strong case can be made that the latter is Emperor Nero, who would of course have had his face on all of the Roman coin issued during his reign. The horns are the seven hills of Rome, there’s a Kabbalic or similar numerological encoding that yields 666 for Nero’s full name, and so on and so forth — and, most significantly, Nero was a contemporary of John of Patmos, unlike, say, Donald Trump. It makes far more sense for him to have been talking about the politics of his own time than the far future. Obliquely, so as not to immediately bring down the wrath of Nero’s censors.

On the topic of “light bringer”, a very interesting observation is that Revelation uses that phrase, or one very like it, to refer to … Christ.

There are echoes in other mythologies of a fallen god who brought light. Prometheus being perhaps the most obvious (fire), followed by the Egyptian Thoth (knowledge and reason). The Apple was also supposedly conferring knowledge. “We got smart and clever and this opened up a can of worms” seems to be the general thread running through these parts of various creation myths. Made us powerful, but at the same time forced us to confront things like our own mortality. No longer innocent animals of the forest but now apprentice gods, or what-have-you.

Notably, a similar thread is present in the story of Pandora’s Box … which, like Eve with the apple, attempts to blame women, through the proxy of blaming some particular ancient one.
(Even a contemporary mythos got in on this one, with someone literally called the Ancient One tapping into the Dark Dimension to extend her own life, only to end up letting a book full of related dangerous knowledge she’d kept around fall into evil hands. The ensuing mess was severe enough that it took an Avenger armed with an infinity stone to fix it, as I recall, and she did not survive said mess.)

@WWTH:

It’s amazing to me the things that reactionaries claim are “grooming”

I believe that’s called “projection”.

occasional reader
occasional reader
25 days ago

Should be read with “Le veau d’or” from the Faust of Gounod…

Alan Robertshaw
24 days ago

@ surplus

there’s a Kabbalic or similar numerological encoding that yields 666 for Nero’s full name

Yeah; although there’s quite good evidence that originally it was 616. With 666 ether using a different transliteration of Nero’s Latinised name; or it being an update to refer to Domitian in later editions of Revelation.

667 of course being the fax number of the beast.

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
24 days ago

And then there is 668, the neighbor of the Beast…

Gerry Sherry
Gerry Sherry
24 days ago

Honestly since the beast is the anti-Christ he’s satan in the same way Jesus is God. Some claim there is an unholy trinity of him satan and the dragon, who I do believe JOHN meant as an epithet to one of the other two.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
24 days ago

Wait, there’s dragons involved with Satan? Man, if Christians want people to reject Satan for their guy, they should probably stop making Satan seem so cool!

Between dragons and all the depictions of him as a hot guy, the seems like quite the Chad!

I mean (some NSFW content)…

https://hornet.com/stories/timeline-sexiest-satan-ever/

https://www.wikiart.org/en/roberto-ferri

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
24 days ago

$665.99, the retail price of the Beast

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
24 days ago

Between dragons and all the depictions of him as a hot guy, the seems like quite the Chad!

However, incels gave him an average rating of “6.66 low tier normie”.

Alan Robertshaw
24 days ago

@ WWTH

Between dragons and all the depictions of him as a hot guy, the seems like quite the Chad!

Well, I haven’t been able to check out his canthal tilt or wrist circumference but he seems to work out at least.

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(That one in the middle is actually called The Number of the Beast is 666)

an autistic giraffe
an autistic giraffe
24 days ago

Here’s Big Bird getting his measles Vaccine back in 1972
comment image/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20190619221748

Sesame Street has always been part of Satan’s evil plan to… stop deadly diseases from killing millions of people.

Dalillama
24 days ago

Luciferase was named during the period mentioned above when matches were commonly called lucifers.

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
24 days ago

Lucifer has been busy this week.
“‘Better to reign in Hell…’
“Me take me, what the here was I thinking?!? I am so exhausted, I don’t know where in the here I am going to find time to torment the damned this week.”

bekabot
bekabot
24 days ago

Everyone’s favorite fallen angel has been busy!”

Makes sense. If the Devil is to find work for idle hands to do he has to start at the top…or the bottom, as the case may be.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
24 days ago

I think if folks want to find some of the cool encounters Jesus had with dragons, they’re going to have to check out the books in the Apocrypha, aka the books that didn’t make the cut when the Bible was first assembled. A fast skimming of a couple of those books still shows Satan turning into a dragon to torment folks, but this passage from The Gospel of Pseudo-Matthew has dragons that aren’t Satan in disguise:

And having come to a certain cave, and wishing to rest in it, the blessed Mary dismounted from her beast, and sat down with the child Jesus in her bosom. And there were with Joseph three boys, and with Mary a girl, going on the journey along with them. And, lo, suddenly there came forth from the cave many dragons; and when the children saw them, they cried out in great terror. Then Jesus went down from the bosom of His mother, and stood on His feet before the dragons; and they adored Jesus, and thereafter retired. Then was fulfilled that which was said by David the prophet, saying: Praise the Lord from the earth, you dragons; ye dragons, and all you deeps. And the young child Jesus, walking before them, commanded them to hurt no man. But Mary and Joseph were very much afraid lest the child should be hurt by the dragons. And Jesus said to them: Do not be afraid, and do not consider me to be a little child; for I am and always have been perfect; and all the beasts of the forest must needs be tame before me.

Book 18, from here. I think Jesus was around 2-3 years and old in this chapter.

Some of those Infancy Gospels had some cool stuff in them, even though had they become canon they would’ve created just as many bizarre and twisted theories as what did make it into the official Bible(s).

On the other hand, “Jesus Christ: Dragon Tamer” would’ve been a great addition to the official mythos. Just saying….

Full Metal Ox
24 days ago

@Alan Robertshaw; @weirwoodtreehugger:

How could we leave out this Jean Delville classic?

http://arthur.io/img/art/00017344a61a0a334/jean-delville/the-treasures-of-satan/large-2x/jean-delville–the-treasures-of-satan.jpg

@Redsilkphoenix:

On the other hand, “Jesus Christ: Dragon Tamer” would’ve been a great addition to the official mythos. Just saying….

A famous early short story of George R.R. Martin’s featured a Gospel centered upon a dragon-taming Judas:

https://www.lightspeedmagazine.com/fiction/the-way-of-cross-and-dragon/

Last edited 24 days ago by Full Metal Ox
Alan Robertshaw
24 days ago

@ full metal ox

this Jean Delville classic

Ooh I like that; and I’d never seen it before. So thank you.

Seems not only does the Devil have all the best tunes; he also has some nice paintings.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
24 days ago

”The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to protect from a deadly contagion” doesn’t have quite the same ring to it.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
24 days ago

As for the devil “being hot/having the best tunes and paintings”… well, the devil wouldn’t be any good at temptation otherwise.

(And that probably sums up why so much of self-declared ‘Christian music’ is so bland; it’s written by people who think anything that feels good must be worldly and of the devil. And who are quite willing to ignore centuries of evidence of good hymns, symphonies or even more recent gospel music to hold onto that view.)

And regarding the whole idea of ‘luciferase’ being a poor choice for a name… it’s easy to forget just how recent the whole evangelical subculture is given how deeply it has dug itself in. The Scofield Reference Bible which formalized a lot of the Rapture-craze was published in 1909. As Dalillama points out, the naming of Luciferase (by Raphaël Dubois) was earlier than that; his work goes back to 1885.

Alan Robertshaw
24 days ago

@ jenora

‘Christian music’ 

You can turn any just about any song into Christian rock by replacing ‘baby’ with ‘Jesus’.

Alan Robertshaw
24 days ago

@ jenora

‘Christian music’ 

You can turn any just about any song into Christian rock by replacing ‘baby’ with ‘Jesus’..

Full Metal Ox
24 days ago

@Alan Robertshaw:

You can turn any just about any song into Christian rock by replacing ‘baby’ with ‘Jesus’..

A principle famously set forth by that great Christian librettist Eric Cartman (one of those characters whose name suffices as a content warning; also has a character’s dismayed realization that the narrative is forcing him into fulfilling a racial stereotype.)

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
24 days ago

…and in Satan’s spare time:

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
24 days ago

@WWTH: thanks for the link. Viggo as Satan gave me pantsfeels.

The NPR story (which for some reason I can’t link) shows that apparently ABBA is 71.4% less Satanic than Travis Scott, but John Davidson was 2357% more Satanic. Search for “Astroworld Festival”. And Astroworld had 700% more deaths than Altamont, which was literally staffed by Hell’s Angels.

I don’t know what that all means, but it makes at least as much sense as the above rantings do, and doesn’t bring child molesting into it, plus math!

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
23 days ago

I have a stong dislike of Christian pop and its in-church analog: praise music. I have spent many years in various church choirs, and dug most of that music, and had a hard time figuring out what bugged me so much about the former. Then, while being subjected to a praise-music version of a hymn I liked, it hit me. Whoever did the arranging made no effort to make the lyrics scan. In some places it seems like they were going out of their way to make it not scan. Thinking back, I realized that lack of scanning was endemic to that sort of music. I have no idea if that is a stylistic choice, or just laziness, but it bugs the crap out of me every time I hear that style of music.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
23 days ago

@moregeekthan:
I’m not sure either ‘stylistic choice’ or ‘laziness’ are wholly true; I think the real answer could be categorized as either. Specifically, I think the real answer is pretty much ‘this is the short list of approved melodies because we don’t want our parishioners to have to memorize too many songs; this is the authorized set of words which we’re not going to admit is a translation anyway; let’s just mash them together as well as we can.’

Basically the lyrics and melody were written completely separately, and there aren’t many options for the melody because they can’t create new ones anymore.

Alan Robertshaw
23 days ago

@ jenora & moregeekthan (& David F)

we don’t want our parishioners to have to memorize too many songs

Sort of related, there’s that mystery as to whether the band on the Titanic played Nearer my god to thee as the ship went down.

The general consensus is that they didn’t. Not only do most witnesses say the band just played cheerful music; as one to the survivors pointed out, it would have been a bit tasteless to remind everyone they were doomed.

However a number of witnesses in the lifeboats say they heard it. And to get onto the bit that ties into Jenora’s point, one of the survivors was a little girl at the time. She didn’t recognise the music. But years later she was in a church and she heard Nearer my god to thee for the most time. She said that was the song the band played. What is interesting, and persuasive perhaps, in that is that that particular church used a different tune to the regular one; but it was also the same version used by the congregation the band leader was a member of. So that would be supportive of the idea that’s what the band played.

Generally though the explanation is the band played Songe d’automne. That was a dancehall tune that sounds a bit like the hymn.

Oh, and to bring in David F, one of the witnesses was May Futrelle. She was a writer too.

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Alan Robertshaw
23 days ago

@ jenora & moregeekthan (& David F)

we don’t want our parishioners to have to memorize too many songs

Sort of related, there’s that mystery as to whether the band on the Titanic played Nearer my god to thee as the ship went down.

The general consensus is that they didn’t. Not only do most witnesses say the band just played cheerful music; as one to the survivors pointed out, it would have been a bit tasteless to remind everyone they were doomed.

However a number of witnesses in the lifeboats say they heard it. And to get onto the bit that ties into Jenora’s point, one of the survivors was a little girl at the time. She didn’t recognise the music. But years later she was in a church and she heard Nearer my god to thee for the most time. She said that was the song the band played. What is interesting, and persuasive perhaps, in that is that that particular church used a different tune to the regular one; but it was also the same version used by the congregation the band leader was a member of. So that would be supportive of the idea that’s what the band played.

Generally though the explanation is the band played Songe d’automne.  That was a dancehall tune that sounds a bit like the hymn.

Oh, and to bring in David F, one of those witnesses was May Futrelle. She was a writer too.

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jy3
jy3
23 days ago

Since apparently I keep having to say it: If you could get a chip and power supply able to do anything useful through a vaccine needle, and keep the body from digesting them, there would be much better applications for it than tracking people. This goes well past double for the kind of nanotech you’d need to generate a readable code inside the body.

Also, the odds are very good that you pay your mobile carrier for the privilege of carrying at least one tracking device anyway.

Alan Robertshaw
23 days ago

@ jenora & moregeekthan (& David F)

we don’t want our parishioners to have to memorize too many songs

Sort of related, there’s that mystery as to whether the band on the Titanic played Nearer my god to thee as the ship went down.

The general consensus is that they didn’t. Not only do most witnesses say the band just played cheerful music; as one to the survivors pointed out, it would have been a bit tasteless to remind everyone they were doomed.

However a number of witnesses in the lifeboats say they heard it. And to get onto the bit that ties into Jenora’s point, one of the survivors was a little girl at the time. She didn’t recognise the music. But years later she was in a church and she heard Nearer my god to thee for the first time. She said that was the song the band played. What is interesting, and persuasive perhaps, in that is that that particular church used a different tune to the regular one; but it was also the same version used by the congregation the band leader was a member of. So that would be supportive of the idea that’s what the band played.

Generally though the explanation is the band played Songe d’automne.  That was a dancehall tune that sounds a bit like the hymn.

Oh, and to bring in David F, one of those witnesses was May Futrelle. She was a writer too.

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Last edited 23 days ago by Alan Robertshaw
moregeekthan
moregeekthan
23 days ago

@jenora Ah, good point. The words and music being written more-or-less independently and the mashed together would explain why those songs often scan so poorly.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
23 days ago

@Jenora Feuer—

Yes, but wasn’t it standard with 19th-century Protestant hymn tunes to use a common metre specifically to avoid that problem (i.e. it didn’t matter if your congregation only knew/liked a half-dozen hymn tunes because the tunes and the lyrics were all composed to be interchangeable anyway)?

Which may be why Moregeekthan enjoyed the church-choir music, but not the modern evangelical “praise music,” if the latter have abandoned that practical tradition.

The Stop Sign on the Corner
The Stop Sign on the Corner
23 days ago

“biometric ID embedded into your body”
JFC. I’d like to see Robinson give one single example of someone who has ever gone to work or gone grocery shopping without their fingerprints and/ or retinas.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
23 days ago

@Stop Sign: I’m pretty sure there are people sans eyes or fingerprints who go shopping, but probably not both. In any case, that’s an amount of people so small as to not show up among 7.8 billion.

And I don’t think there are people who go shopping without their entire face, and facial recognition is a big thing.

The other problem with “Christian music” is, besides not scanning, it’s relentlessly in 4/4. And it never has any swing or syncopation. Proper old-school gospel does, which is part of what makes it better, same with older hymns and sacred music.

One Xmas my mom sang a solo of “Go Tell It On the Mountain” and in the first rehearsal the accompanist was plonking along Whitely. Mom had learned it from her Black nanny, so she insisted it was sung correctly.

It ain’t got a thing if it ain’t got that swing.

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
23 days ago

A friend of mine from highschool Named her baby Luci. it was short for Lucifer. Luciefer is that child’s legal name on her birth certificate.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
23 days ago

@GSS ex-noob:

And I don’t think there are people who go shopping without their entire face, and facial recognition is a big thing.

Well, then, I’ve got some bad news for you, about a pandemic …

Alan Robertshaw
22 days ago

“biometric ID embedded into your body”

It’s not Bill Gates or Satan you have to worry about tracking your every movement…

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/nov/10/cats-track-their-owners-movements-research-finds

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
22 days ago

“biometric ID embedded into your body”

JFC. I’d like to see Robinson give one single example of someone who has ever gone to work or gone grocery shopping without their fingerprints and/ or retinas.

Indeed; It occurs to me that there’s no point for an ID to be biometric if it’s physically attached to the body it purports to identify.

(And how would an invisible nanochip be biometric anyway?)

Under the cover of vaccinating people, we are really preparing to tag and track people. The once free nations of the West are testing a new authoritarian system of total control under the guise of public health.

Wait, is the Covid vaccination project used for tagging and tracking people, or is it just preparation/testing/practice run for somesuch project? Are all the other vaccines also practice runs? And what else? How much testing is needed until we get to the real deal?

Last edited 22 days ago by Lumipuna
Allandrel
Allandrel
22 days ago

@Lumipuna

Ah, but you are assuming that “biometric” means anything to these people besides “scary technology.”

Gerry Sherry
Gerry Sherry
22 days ago

I don’t know why it bothers me so much but in the chick tract linked above among people fighting and committing adultery you see a gay couple pledging their undying love for each other and that’s all supposed to be signs of the end times. I know I shouldn’t expect anything less than blatant homophobia from Jack Chick, but It just really hits home hard that the only couple acting in a monogamous and kind way were blasphemy due to being gay.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
22 days ago

@Surplus: Yes, but these sort of people are anti-mask, so facial recognition works just fine on them. Also gait recognition.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
21 days ago

@Jenora Feuer, @Moon Custafer,

All this church music talk reminds me of a story about a well-known 18th (19th?) century composer of hymns who repurposed old drinking songs for his music. When he was asked why, he reportedly responded “Why should the Devil have all the good music?”

The description of how current Christian music is constrained to only a couple of medleys and to only certain words explains something I’ve noticed with a great deal of stuff marketed to the ‘devout’ Christians. A lot of the artwork in stuff like the Biblical kids’ books and the covers of a lot of the devotional books are so…bland. Like the artists were essentially phoning it in instead of letting the material inspire their muse. Which is a very sad way to do all your art, not being allowed to do anything slightly different than some blandness that represents ‘good’ because that would be allowing ‘the world’ and therefore corruption into the minds of the true believers. If that makes sense..?

@Gerry Sherry,

The first time I recall seeing those two guys (or two similar to them in another tract) I thought they were supposed to be ex-cons, given how they were drawn back then. Then again, given how the artwork and some of the dialogue gets updated every now and then, maybe the tract I saw did have them as ex-cons, while the version up there has them looking more…hippie-ish? Not sure what the best way to describe them might be.

Full Metal Ox
21 days ago

@Redsilkphoenix:

All this church music talk reminds me of a story about a well-known 18th (19th?) century composer of hymns who repurposed old drinking songs for his music. When he was asked why, he reportedly responded “Why should the Devil have all the good music?”

20th-century composer Larry Norman would ask precisely that musical question, although Cliff Richards’ cover is better known:

personalpest
personalpest
20 days ago

@Alan Robertshaw: 616? So Satan is from western Michigan? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Area_code_616

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
20 days ago

@Full Metal Ox,

Cool video of that idea. Plus cool story you posted earlier. Thanks.

@personalpest,

616 is also the world ID number for the mainstream Marvel Comics Universe timeline. Which would go a long way to explain certain features of that reality, to be honest. (Blame Alan Moore; he came up with that number in his original Captain Britain run.)

Alan Robertshaw
20 days ago

@ personalpest

Well we know from the song that the Devil has to live North of Georgia; so that makes sense.

ETA: Hmm, people are already selling their souls as NFTs; but I wonder, is there a market for indulgences? I can’t see the church has the monopoly on salvation; so it would be a nice new take on an old tradition.

Last edited 20 days ago by Alan Robertshaw