Watch out, cises, those transes are sneaky! First they trick you into listing your (regular cis) pronouns in your bio in solidarity with trans people — a seemingly innocent move that slides you into the “trans pipeline.” And before you know it. you’re a full-fledged trans person yourself.
At least according to this “gender critical” dingbat:
That has got to be the slipperiest slippery slope I’ve ever seen. Who knew?
H/T — r/GenderCynical
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What is wrong with these people? So terrified apparently of “turning trans” (I mean WTF? Really?) they object to people specifying their gender? Speaking as someone whose job means first contact with someone is often via e-mail, a bracketed (Mr / Ms / whatever) on an e-mail address or a specified gender on a profile has mostly little to with trans issues that I can see and mostly for the convenience of the recipient: it always makes things much easier, especially if someone has a non-gender-specific name like “Chris” or an unusual name I’ve not heard of. It’s always an utter pain in the bum when formality requires a “Mr / Mrs” etc and the “Sam Smith” or whoever you are writing to hasn’t left you the slightest clue which or which pronoun to use: whether “Sam” whatever gender they are is cis or trans has nothing to with anything.
For alleged feminists it seems a bit odd to apparently argue that (cis) women are so spectacularly sweet and girly and (cis) men always so spectacularly aggressive and manly (or whatever cliche they are currently operating to) that the reek of manliness or femininity so leaks even out of every communication they make so that no-one could ever fail to distinguish which someone is or require it to be specified.
I see “cis” is a place-holder like “neurotypical” or “straight”. There’s a bunch of things in there, and these people are just showing their feelings about some, mostly feelings about trans women. It’s the agony of ignorance. Imagining playing a role playing game and acting like everything is warrior or an archer, and staying ignorant and afraid of the other character types.
Or just be someone who does something they associate as male.
TW: sexual abuse
There was a news story a few days ago about a woman teacher who was charged with raping her student, a boy of 13 or 14 years old.
The teacher is a cis woman, but they assumed she was trans because she wasn’t super pretty and delicate looking and because they apparently think a cis woman would never sexually abuse a child.
It was very gross.
Kind of amazing though, that TERFs claim to be feminist but only consider you a real woman if you’re pretty, sweet, small in stature, and have given birth.
@Surplus
The biggest things that would have helped me would have just been more exposure to the idea, specifically for me, of trans men, and that trans people are real/not just crazy (I’d only ever previously heard of trans women, so the idea that trans men existed simply didn’t cross my mind because I spent 38ish years not even knowing, plus I’d bought into the “they’re just sick” ideology about trans women for years because that’s how I was raised and what the media tended to portray through the 80s and 90s), and greater social acceptance for people to explore their gender. I could say a lot about the lack of trans male visibility, but it’s sort of beside the point.
I can’t guarantee more exposure would have helped in my case, because my parents are religious and ridiculously conservative (we’re already butting heads about what treatments they think I should get… I’m in my 40s, my medical decisions should be entirely up to me, but given that I’m stuck living with them for the time being they “don’t want the money I’m saving to go towards mutilating my body”, so I’m stuck using low dose testosterone pills instead of normal dose injections, and they absolutely won’t use masculine pronouns for me, nor my chosen name), but it certainly wouldn’t have hurt.
I am, however, a binary trans person, and that’s not everyone’s experience. There is, as far as I know, no litmus test for “trans people” because our experiences are just too varied (What about genderfluid? Nonbinary? Agender? Genderfae? I have no idea how people figure that out, yet I know multiple people who are in one of each of those non-man-nor-woman categories). I just want people to be at least free to explore their gender wihtout stigma. They need to be able to ask themselves “why do I feel uncomfortable when I see my photograph/reflection? Do I need a makeover/change of style to express myself more authentically? Is it a body image issue I need to look at, or social pressure from people I might need to get out of my life? Am I just dissatisfied with how my sex/gender is treated socially? Or is there something deeper going on with me and my identity, as a person?” and experiment with their preferred presentation without being mocked, ridiculed, or treated like they’re mentally sick. The current social climate is not really HELPING, especially now with such drama about who uses what public bathroom. But it’s better, on the whole, than it used to be (at least people know trans people exist now, and I can put my pronouns and preferred name in my medical file and reasonably expect my GP will try to honor it.)
One thing that surprised me a few years back was how cool, and knowledgeable, my Nan and her friends were about trans women. I must confess I hadn’t imagined that would even be a topic of conversation amongst 90 year old Yorkshire ladies. But apparently it was all down to a particular character in their favourite soap opera.
See here for more details…
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hayley_Cropper
So I guess this is one of those examples of why representation matters.
@Battering Lamb – I’ve experienced something maybe sort of similar, although I’m cis. When I get a thicker hair than usual growing in my chin, it irritates me until I pull it out. Partly it’s the texture, partly it bothers my sense of my own gender – if that makes any sense.
And I guess everyone has different ways of feeling comfortable with their gender. It doesn’t bother me to have hair on my legs, for instance, and I don’t usually wear make-up. But I’m pretty sure of being a woman.
Putting “she/her” pronouns on my profiles hasn’t changed that. Maybe if I put “he/him”? Is language magic that way?
(Speaking of language, I just started as a full-time student in linguistics today. I’m enjoying all the courses so far, but I’m exhausted!)
That whole “getting euphoria from lying to people and having them believe my lies” line is projecting so hard she can use it for Power Point presentations.
Me: Reads TERF sh*t
Me: Dies
Since other people are talking about their gender experiences (trans or cis), I decided to add to it.
Basically, story short, I was always more masculine and wore masculine clothes, and was way more comfortable in male clothes and hated wearing female clothes. It took me some time to figure out who I was, but I knew that I wasn’t straight. Instinctively, of course. I used to think that I was a lesbian at first; but no, I liked boys. I thought I was bi; no, I didn’t like girls. Then it hit me – I’m a gay man. Don’t ask me why that was what hit me. I didn’t even know what trans WAS.
I heard the word for the first time later, but I still didn’t know what it was – I was in class (I think history?) and we were told to pick an issue to fight for, and I came across the trans athletes one (without bothering to read the article), and decided, since I had no else (at the time), that that was what I choose. I had no idea what I was supporting, and my teacher looked at me like I was the greatest person in the room (she didn’t know that I had no idea who trans people were at the time), and everyone else stared at me. I had no idea what the fuss was about (lol). But, yeah, I ended up finding it out later, and I was like, yeah, I guess that’s what I am.
I’ve also had many boyfriends, 3 of which have been straight (one told me he was bi when he first met me, and thought that I was a dude, but I’ll respect his identification). 2 of them knew about my being trans. 1 did not – but then again we came to like each other over Minecraft (we played together). I’ve also had bi and gay boyfriends. Probably some of them were of questionably legal age considering my age, but oh well.
One of them – he was gay – I told him I was trans (we both fell deeply in love), and he just wasn’t attracted to that. I understand it – my genitalia and body is not what he’s attracted to. So I let him go (though I still love him). And while I never felt ashamed of being transgender before this, I felt like if I wasn’t, this would have never happened. If I had never lied – it wouldn’t have happened. Now I feel disgusted by my body, and I feel so ashamed…I wish I was born a boy, or that I wanted to be a girl…
Yeah, that’s all I had to say on it.