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Sex Miseducation Meme Saturday: Internal Magnetic Temple Edition

“This is a penis.”

I found this in the Not How Girls Work subreddit, though it’s more of a Not How Any of This Works meme. I feel fairly confident in saying that not a word of this strange document is true, including “and” and “the” (as Mary McCarthy might have put it).

Here’s the text in case you can’t read that not-very-well-designed meme.

Exchange Of DNA

When a man releases his life form energy within a woman, he leaves a part of his DNA information in her birth canal. She has to have a VERY strong sexually balanced energy or his energy stays imprinted inside of her. That imprint can often create illusion of a sexual addiction. When people decide to have multiple partners, it can send mixed emotional signals within their body’s vibration system/auras. Women must be careful of different energies or spiritual forces polluting their internal magnetic temple, just as men should be careful who they share their electric energy with.

They call it sexual inter-course for a reason. it’s an internal course that unites man & woman, mind with mind, spirit with spirit. This is something that a rubber can’t protect you from, because energy is behind the elements of all flesh. There’s no such thing as “friends with benefits” Nah…Intimate activity intricately entwines the energies between two people. Sex creates a powerful exchange of sexual energy between those involved. These connections, imprints & debris are left upon the mind, soul, & spirit for a long time because they’re not easily purged or cleansed.

Casual sex with multiple partners can intertwine the energies & spirits of a lot of people into your own aura if they are not severed & cleansed. You become jointed to every person with whom your partner has slept with, as well as all the partners those people had. This type of “soul clutter” can be felt by your partner’s subconscious. Even if they are completely in tune or aware of the extra-curricular sexual activities, they still are able to sense the subtle disturbances of multiple energies and/or familiar spirits that have entered causing restlessness & inner turmoil. The longer & more intimate the contact with another person, the more powerful the reinforcement & the interaction of the bond becomes, & all the more difficult A is for them to untangle & leave. Only through harmony & balance can we achieve the kingdom within, and work our way towards sexual freedom

Q 6,234 likes

Reminder Most people haven’t learned the true nature of Sexual energy with the purpose to build & rise the energy upwards as a form of conscious… more

How does something like this get more than 6000 likes? I hope most of them are ironic likes.

BONUS SEX MISEDUCATION MEME:

I think this one has been floating around for awhile.

Not to be pedantic, but there are at least three such possible “homes” in cis women, and two in cis men. Doesn’t anyone fact check their memes any more?

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rabid rabbit
rabid rabbit
25 days ago

Look, Mark Driscoll, I don’t mind that you and your wife have a cutesy name for her womanly parts that you use during sex, but could you please not share it with the rest of us?

What does it make his penis, anyway? Clearly, it doesn’t live in her all the time, so is it an occasional home invader, or a mostly absentee landlord, or what? A rebellious teen that only wants to be home when it feels like it?

Besides, when you’re an abstinence-only type, which I assume he is given that apparently you’re never supposed to see anything of your wife below the neck before you marry, the vagina is really only the atrium, the important part being the womb, which is the baby-home. Which means that either the penis is a trespasser, or the baby is a terrible trespasser when it makes its way through the penis-home.

TL;DR: I’m pretty sure I have now thought more about this metaphor than Driscoll has himself, and I would like that time back, please.

epitome of incomrepehensibility

Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis.

If I were God, I’d find this personally embarrassing.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
25 days ago

@rabid rabbit: you got farther than I did. I was stopped by the first sentence, which made me think “So God has 3.5 billion* penises at once?”

*plus or minus a few million, IDK.

rabid rabbit
rabid rabbit
25 days ago

@GSS ex-noob:

God is beyond all human comprehension, and also if you get too close you might get poked in the eye.

The real reason God mooned Moses is that he was afraid the sight of his several million dicks (I don’t think humanity was anywhere near the billions at the time) would break the poor man’s mind.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
25 days ago

If women absorb the DNA of men we have sex with and it alters us, then how come having sex with a number of musicians (sorry, no one famous, I’ve got no tea here) didn’t give me any musical abilities? Because I’ve still got none.

Maybe it’s because I always used condoms? Which none of these theories ever take into account.

Snowberry
Snowberry
25 days ago

A penis is more like a car. It’s a vehicle used to transfer potential humans rather than actual ones. Though unlike a normal car it’s put in the garage when it *is* in use, and as a result there’s a lot of moving around in that confined space. But then when it’s not in use, it travels around everywhere despite not running for the most part. And then it only works effectively when the tank isn’t full…

Conclusion: A penis is an anti-car.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
25 days ago

@Snowberry: And suddenly the statement that someone with a big car is compensating for something has a whole weird new level.

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
25 days ago

And now I have a headache…

SpecialFFrog
SpecialFFrog
25 days ago

@GSS: I think it is more like the gray sisters in the myth of Perseus. The one just gets passed around.

Moggie
Moggie
25 days ago

Ultimately, God created you and it is his penis.

Turns out God is uncircumcised. Checkmate, mohels!

Frey
Frey
25 days ago

This is what happens when Purity Culture goes New Age

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
25 days ago

@WWTH, that’s the most novel musical education I’ve heard of, hee~ But the condoms aren’t the problem, according to our Knower of Things in the original. Condoms don’t block the, uh, debris of, uh. Of your Internal Course, which is of course what intercourse means. Everyone’s always spoken English, what’s Latin even, don’t @ me.

Alan Robertshaw
25 days ago

@ scildfreja

Everyone’s always spoken English, what’s Latin even,

The writing style reminds me of that Freemen-on-the-land/Sovereign Citizen malarky.

They do all sorts of bizarre etymologies. Like you have a ‘birth’ certificate right? And ships ‘berth’. So that’s why they insist only Admiralty Law applies to them.

(I wish I was kidding)

It doesn’t help that, when the judge looses patience with them and says “Put them in the dock”, they get to go “See; told you!”

Last edited 25 days ago by Alan Robertshaw
Allandrel
Allandrel
25 days ago

My favorite SovCit bit is the magic of names.

“No, I don’t have to obey this summon. It says ‘Bob Smith,’ and that is not me. I am ‘Bob, of the family Smith.’ That makes me a legally different person that your laws do not apply to.”

Moggie
Moggie
25 days ago

@Allandrel, I think that would be something like ‘Bob: Smith’, or even ‘Bob,, Smith’. Sovcits love this one weird trick you can do with oddball punctuation. It’s strange to see people treat the law as a body of magic, with spells, or as a game, with cheat codes.

Full Metal Ox
24 days ago

@Moggie:

@Allandrel, I think that would be something like ‘Bob: Smith’, or even ‘Bob,, Smith’. Sovcits love this one weird trick you can do with oddball punctuation. It’s strange to see people treat the law as a body of magic, with spells, or as a game, with cheat codes.

The parallels between folkloric magical ground rules and hacking culture are precisely the point of one of the Trope-Making cyberpunk novels: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/True_Names

In The Tough Guide to Fantasyland, Diana Wynne-Jones chalks up the popularity of apostrophes in fantasy names to True Name security:

AVERAGE FOLK, SAGES, and some Tourists, however, adopt the expedient of cutting out half their Names and filling the gaps with APOSTROPHES, as in Ka’a Orto’o. Then, unless you know what was in the gap, you can’t enslave them.

(This is the book famous for grumbling at great length about how fantasy novels of the day treated horses as inexhaustible furry motorcycles.

Wynne-Jones also had a reflexive vendetta against stew:

STEW (the [Obligatory Management Terms] are thick and savoury, which translate as “viscous” and “dark brown”) is the staple FOOD in Fantasyland, so be warned. You may shortly be longing passionately for omelette, steak, or baked beans, but none of these will be forthcoming, indoors or out. Stew will be what you are served to eat every single time. Given the disturbed nature of life in this land, where in CAMP you are likely to be attacked without warning (but see BATH), and in an INN prone to be the centre of a TAVERN BRAWL, Stew seems to be an odd choice as staple food, since, on a rough calculation, it takes forty times as long to prepare as steak. But it is clear the inhabitants have not yet discovered fast food. The exact recipe for Stew is of course a Management secret, but it is thought to contain meat of some kind and perhaps even vegetables.)

Not Edward
Not Edward
24 days ago

The “Exchange of DNA” meme reads like the author started with the observation that previous relationships, even casual ones, inevitably carry baggage which can then affect the next one, and then retro-fitted around this idea a whole swamp of New Age woo. I suspect people lap this stuff up because they would rather pay someone to re-align the magnetism of their sexual chakras with crystals (or whatever) than properly address relationship issues like grown-ups.

talacaris
talacaris
24 days ago

FreeMen of the land and Sovcits are among the few instances where the phrase “Your consent is not necessary” is perfectly appropriate.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
24 days ago

Funny thing is, this one was sort of kind of almost right.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4989712/

But this smidge of DNA absorption only happens if a woman gets pregnant — just any old sex won’t do it — and doesn’t grant any special abilities, since this is the real world, not an X-Men comic book. Even if he had a genetic aptitude for music, e.g., that probably works by influencing how the brain develops early in life. If yours has already developed, gaining a few cells with the music-aptitude gene in them now won’t affect your musical abilities, any more than injecting your adult body with hawk DNA would let you grow wings.

Neither will the fetal cells cause the Redditor’s claimed “inner turmoil” and other symptoms, let alone anything “magnetic”. It’s thought that they might help train the maternal immune system to tolerate the pregnancy, reducing the risk of miscarriages, and that’s about it.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
24 days ago

Wow. A combination of misogynistic new-agey gobbledegook and fundie Christian garbage seasoned thoroughly with biological ignorance. What a treat!

Sheila Crosby
Sheila Crosby
24 days ago

@Full metal Ox
But stew is a much better way to cook tough meat. I doubt if medieval cows went to a feed lot, so they were probably very tough, and anything brought back from a hunt would be even tougher.
On the other hand, there was probably a lot less meat in the diet and a lot more gruel and vegetables. In fact, people used to eat a lot of peas and beans, as they were good for the soil.
Digestive gas is very underrepresented in fantasy fiction.

Dalillama
24 days ago

@Full Metal Ox
That bit was clearly written by someone who’s never had to feed a roomful of people on an ongoing basis. Stew is a wonderful thing, you can throw whatever ingredients you have into a pot of water on the morning, keep it on a simmer and serve from it all day.

@Sheila Crosby
“Pease porridge hot,
Pease porridge cold
Pease porridge in the pot
Nine days old”

Nequam
Nequam
24 days ago

@Moggie: Reminds me of that XKCD comic about “Little Bobby Tables”.

Full Metal Ox
24 days ago

@Sheila Crosby:

But stew is a much better way to cook tough meat. I doubt if medieval cows went to a feed lot, so they were probably very tough, and anything brought back from a hunt would be even tougher.

There you go—and even if our wandering adventurers haven’t the wherewithal or time to stew ingredients, the innkeeper will; they’ll have been staying put; that’s part of their job.

On the other hand, there was probably a lot less meat in the diet and a lot more gruel and vegetables. In fact, people used to eat a lot of peas and beans, as they were good for the soil.

As well as cheaper, half of a complete protein source when paired with a grain, and permissible under the vegetarian prohibitions imposed at least some of the time by a lot of religions.

Digestive gas is very underrepresented in fantasy fiction.

A memorable exception, from Legend of Korra:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dhtmsvUuyRU

The question is what the STEW consists of, and where and when its ingredients place you in Storyland—food is a concrete and relatable worldbuilding tool. The fresh-caught rabbits Sam Gamgee stews with wild herbs (all the while lamenting the lack of taters) are a gastronomical snapshot of a specific place, time, and situation; so is Sister’s Stew, a luxurious seafood chowder with “salvaged” spices served by a pirate lord in A Song of Ice and Fire; so is Mama Odie’s perpetual pot of scrying gumbo in The Princess and the Frog.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
24 days ago

OT, but this might be of some interest. Arguing against pharma patent monopolies being either necessary or useful:

https://evonomics.com/jag-bhalla-covid-greed-vaccine/

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
24 days ago

@Full Metal Ox: I have a hardback of “Tough Guide to Fantasyland” which I paid way too much for maybe 20 years ago, and yet got far more than my money’s worth out of. I still pick it up and browse when I need a laugh, and I still mentally capitalize Stew. So many books I’ve read have a Vestigial Empire, and I think of them as that no matter what they’re called. And she was quite right about the horses.

STEW isn’t a good idea when you’re traveling light and fast, though, which was her point. No carrying around a Stew pot and waiting hours for the stuff to be done. And transporting leftover Stew is probably icky. Grill your critters over an open flame and get some sleep before you have to flee the Evil Overlord with the apostrophes in their name again. Take any leftover kebabs with you to gnaw on, or make sammiches from if you’ve got bread.

@Battering Lamb: It really does.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
24 days ago

I am unconvinced that friends with benefit and no romantic involvement is a thing, but I don’t feel the need to make gigantic walls of texts about it. At most I snickers when someone I know get in trouble because of that, especially if I predicted so.

I wonder to which extent theses walls of text are due to the writer trying to convince themselves they don’t want sex with that pretty friend that seem accessible and isn’t their S.O.

occasional reader
occasional reader
24 days ago

Hmm, the text on pastor Driscoll picture has me confused : in terms of candaulism, if the man in fact use god manhood (i always though that god, like angels, was genderless, but whatever), does that mean that god cucks the man, or that the man cucks god ?

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
24 days ago

#SovCits, that’s exactly what I was thinking off when I was reading it too. I mean, I’m not even mad about sovcit nonsense, I’m really quite in awe. Treating all language as a magic spell, like that. It’s such a power move.

I’d love it sit down with one to find out why they think their linguistic gymnastics (linguistymnastics?) are valid. Is it just a case of the terminally non-analytical thinking that their play is a perfect “gotcha” play against the legal system, or do they legitimately believe that words aren’t binding unless spoken in such a weird and precise way? Someone should go look at their own marriage licenses – heck, their drivers’ licenses – to see if they’re worded properly.

#STEW,

It’s pottage! The pot-stuff! Pottage was an every-day thing for the vast majority of European people. Heck, over lots of Africa and other places of the world, too. For basically the same reason Dalillama gave, too; you can dump your staple grain in there along with whatever’s seasonal and available and just leave it to steep and simmer all day while you’re doing other things. When it’s cold it thickens into a paste (the root for pastry after all) you can slice it up and fry it. Pottage is a great meal that’s full of flavour and nutrition, it’s highly efficient, and gives you a lot of the water you need in a day, too.

Rabble rabble, our ancestors weren’t mud-hut-dwelling-idiots, they were as smart as us or smarter, etc, etc, you know the drill, lol. I know that’s the consensus here, I guess I’m on a tear!

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
24 days ago

@occasional reader : I don’t know how it translate in english, but when I was a children, God was described as made of the Father, the Son (Jesus), and the Holy Spirit. So maybe you alternate between using the family jewel of the father and the son ?

Sure it probably make thing awkward up there. Maybe Jesus and his father avoid seeing each other because of the awkwardness.

Karalora
Karalora
24 days ago

STEW isn’t a good idea when you’re traveling light and fast, though, which was her point.

That, and the authors are so often vague about what is actually in the STEW, missing a terrific opportunity for some incidental worldbuilding. A recurring theme in the Tough Guide is Jones’s frustration with not just the cliches themselves, but writers who rely on cliches at the expense of actually portraying a world, with the result that the worlds themselves are bland and unconvincing. Which is the opposite of what fantasy should be.

Dalillama
23 days ago

@Karalora

That, and the authors are so often vague about what is actually in the STEW

Barley or pease, mutton, hambone or fatback, turnips or rutabagas, onions and maybe carrots. Mostly turnips and rutabagas, because if it was mostly barley or pease it would be porridge. If it was mostly meat it would be called a soup and served to rich people. If it was made of anything else we’re out of the pseudo-European setting of Fantasyland entirely.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
23 days ago

@occasional reader:
Maybe, but this is Mark Driscoll. Trust me, if you’d hung around places like Slacktivist much, you’d have heard of him. He ran a pretty explicitly manly church up at Mars Hill, one that was quite often described as amazingly cult-like. None of that mamby-pamby helping the poor stuff here, he believes in a macho Jesus who’s more about throwing the moneylenders out of the temple because they’re competition (rather than because they were allowing people to turn religion into conspicuous consumption, which was more the original reason).

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
23 days ago

If we’re all demon-possessed by our partners and our partner’s partners, where does it stop? Doesn’t our partner’s energy also contain their partners, and their partner’s partners, which in turn contains their partner’s partners partners, and so on?

How long until Kevin Bacon gets in there?

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
23 days ago

@Buttercup: IMDB revealed unto me that I have a Bacon Number of 2. Now I’m kinda weirded out. But under your theory, that number is much, much higher.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
23 days ago

If it was made of anything else we’re out of the pseudo-European setting of Fantasyland entirely.

True fact: in original manuscript of LOTR, Sam sailed across the Western Sea to seek potatoes.

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
20 days ago

Well, to the pastor, and many religious types, those other ‘homes’ aren’t proper homes, not really even tar-paper shacks (which can be true homes if those within are faithful enough, much better than their getting ungodly Gummint Assistance and living somewhere with a real roof and heating).

As for that first one, it reminds me of that popular proto-Nazi book “Poison in the Blood’ that talked about how even a good Aryan’s child could be tainted if his wife had ever had sex with a Jew. It also reminds me that whenever I here someone talking vaguely about ‘energy’ I feel like asking them to write down the Hamiltonian or Lagrangian for the system they’re trying to describe, preferably in closed form.