The world has had enough of small penises. We need our top scientists to get to work on the problem immediately so that in the future every dick-bearing human will have a massive whanger.
Or so says this 4Channer:
Don’t listen to the naysayers like that dude at the end there. We desperately need a new Manhattan Project to make future dicks huge. Though preferably not explosive or radioactive. Unless you’re into that sort of thing.
H/T — I found this screencap on Reddit but can’t remember where.
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Ah yes. According to people who don’t have vaginas, people who do have vaginas all just love big dicks.
That’s not the story I’ve heard from folks who do have vaginas. It’s also inconsistent with my experience with dicks.
I guess it’s the time to say “citation fucking needed”.
In fact, I suspect such a project would make them much sadder, because it would remove one of their easy copout to their incompetency. Be careful what you wish for, all that.
Obligatory.
https://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/2010-06-16
After who knows how many asshats claimed that we use lipstick to remind het guys of our red labia, I revealed that I sometimes wear glow in the dark neon green lipstick. Obviously that was to call attention to my necrotic radioactive labia.
Now there’s a possibility that I could mate with a radioactive giant dick? How could I say no?
Fry:
Co-ed steam rooms! I love the future!
Leela:
Uh, Fry, you’re in the women’s steam room.
Fry:
Ah, futuristic!
Amy:
[To Leela] Psst, look what life was like before genetic engineering.
Leela:
Those poor 20th century women.
[Fry crosses his legs, embarrassed.]
@ Crip Dyke
That… is not the direction I expected this thread to go…
Some years ago, I predicted that once people were able to freely customize their own bodies, the most common modification would be penile enlargement. And the second most common would be penile reduction.
I mean, I do expect that foot-deep vaginal canals would be a thing, because humans. I’d expect that to be an extremely niche thing, though.
I bet that if someone told these 4chaners that any research into penis enlargement would also probably make phaloplasties better and cheaper and thus help trans men, some of them would suddenly decide it isn’t worth investing in.
(Much like the GCers who don’t want any research into ovarian transplants to help people with ovarian cancer because there’s a chance that such research could also help trans women.)
@Crip Dyke
I….I can’t argue with that. ooh maybe the combination of radioactive genitals can create a Zone like in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games.
The first post is silly, but the response is more insulting, IMO. It’d be one thing if the second person said sexual pleasure wasn’t important to them, which is fine, but he specifically said that women’s pleasure didn’t matter.
@Nequam – Wasn’t there also a SMBC comic about a “genital arms race”, where people genetically engineered their bits to ridiculous proportions? That’s the one I thought of when I read this.
To replying jerk: I thought big dicks in and of themselves were important to your type? It needs to be giant so you can feel superior to other men, right? Even if there aren’t any women around.
In a way, this is almost a positive post.
The writer is as concerned with female pleasure as male– perhaps more so. Repeatedly he brings up the point of the woman’s pleasure, in fact he seems to consider it the most critical point.
However, I can’t help but think that he’s in error in suggesting that it is that important a course of study. Ignoring the ethical considerations of Human Genetic Manipulation (And I doubt he’s talking simple eugenics here, either), it seems to me that research into such maladies as inheritable diabetes, neurological ailments, and propensity towards cancer are arguably of more immediate import than a major push to identify the schlong gene.
@ IgnoreSandra
“Let’s drink to him. He was a good S.T.A.L.K.E.R.”
Wow, that was a long winded way to say he knows nothing about women, female anatomy or sex. He’s apparently unaware that most women need clitoral stimulation to achieve orgasm not some giant peen.
Well, this isn’t good. 40° 37° 36° 34° 23° 25° 31°. That’s the 7-day forecast here. Looks like I won’t be able to make a supply run until Friday, unless I pay massively over the odds by taking taxis both ways. And I’m going to be running out of some things a lot sooner than that.
There needs to be a better system in place for ensuring people’s basic needs are met here.
Just buy yourself a giant dildo and go to town dude.
Something about a genie in a bottle and a 12-inch pianist? Too easy? Probably. Never mind.
Okay, even by 4Chan standards this is sick.
OK, that is gold. Will have to keep that in mind for when I start trying lipstick, to think of the ‘correct’ matching malady to afflict the labia I might not even have yet. Since I tend to prefer colder colors in general. Blue, Frostbite? That would probably be black though. Hmm…
@Surplus
I live in the US, as you know we don’t give a shit about people’s basic needs unless they can pay. Recently it’s been 38 the lowest temperature all week and usually in the forties, and I have a bad tendonopathy in my left Achilles right now that’s at risk of rupturing, so I just sort of bind it immobile and hobble on down to the store after dark so I won’t get fried. I definitely have sympathy for you with this problem.
@epitome: Yes, there is, but the punchline on this one seemed more fitting to the subject.
Lucky you having a 24 hour store within hobbling range. Nearest grocer to me is over 3 km distant and closes at nine.
@Surplus.
Excuse me if you already know this, but it will help if you wet your hair. Much of the energy to evaporate the water will be taken as heat from the blood in your scalp. You should feel less crap.
For the first ten minutes and first kilometer-or-so, maybe. What about the other two and a half (if returning by taxi with a hefty load) or six (on foot both ways to get just smaller, lighter items)?
You know… you know how in ancient Greece big penises were considered “barbaric”? And small weenies were “civilized”?
I just occasionally ponder their gay proclivities, their diet and digestion of it, the types of lube they used to have at hand and what kind of difficulties in anal sex they might have had and whether this correlates with that notion in any way.
But anyway, back to land of cis male insecurities of modern days, where they can’t even hunt the freakin’ mammoth anymore.
Speaking as an owner of a vagina, cervix etc, no it is definitely not fun to get the latter harshly poked while having sex. Ouch.