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anti-Semitism conspiracy theory magic semen NoFap pron

Semen retainers! Beware the secret agents of Big Porn who use “cleverly placed words” to lure you back to fapland

Don’t let them hypnotize you!

Those who deliberately retain their semen say the practice sharpens their mind and their senses, makes them to smell better, renders them irresistible to women.

Having followed the Semen Retention for several years I can only say Im not convinced that any of that is true. I can’t ay anything about the alleged better smell, but if retaining semen makes you s much smarter, why are most of the posts there so completely stupid?

Bu there’s one thing that semen retention does seem to do to more than a few of its practitioners: it makes them more paranoid. After I wrote a couple of relatively light-hearted posts about that peculiar subreddit, one of the regulars accused me of being an agent of the Globalist Media elite personally tasked with destroying the Semen Retention subreddit.

I haven’t written about them for a while now but they seem as paranoid as ever, Indeed, in one recent post on the subreddit, one diligent retainer warns his colleagues to “please be watchful” because there are evil forces out there trying to sabotage their sacred mission.

Undoubtedly, many men are starting to wake up to the truth of what happens to us after masturbation. As such, it is realistic to assume that this will flip the apple cart that is owned by the porn industry and special interest groups that want the common man to become weaker and less of a threat.

What “special interest group” is he talking about that wants men to fap away their sacred essence? Feminists? Communists? Teh Jews?

With this said, I must urge every one of you to carefully read whatever you choose to read on this forum with special care and vigilance. There are bound to be trolls of a more haphazard and sophisticated breed on our forum. Trolls of which might plant cleverly placed words in their statements as a means of leading you all astray and back into animalistic-sub-human behaviors associated with masturbation.

Damn, those trolls must be working at some other level than the rest of us. They have secret words they can work into otherwise innocent-seeming posts that will cause readers to become overwhelmed by a desire to fap?

Please tread carefully. For where there is light, darkness will always try to plant its ugly foot into it and smash it to pieces.

You mean like this?

Ill be in my bunk.

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Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
3 years ago

comment image

they do seem a little tense. I’ve heard there are ways to relieve that…

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
3 years ago

They have fnord secret words they can fnord work into otherwise innocent-seeming fnord posts

I knew it!!1!

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
3 years ago

A commenter who is unconvinced about the no-fap life speaks up:

One thing I don’t like about this community is that people he masturbate are seen as lowly and feminine.

Lowly and feminine? Yeah, those terms are certainly synonymous.

There are plenty of successful people that masturbate and have sex regularly and they are living their best life

These successful people: are they men?

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
3 years ago

They must be, @Kat – I mean, it’s not like women are people, after all!

Trying
Trying
3 years ago

Why oh why would anyone deny themselves this? I mean aside from religious/health/orientation reasons. Ordinary dudes bragging that they don’t…it boggles my mind.

Snowberry
Snowberry
3 years ago

I’m tempted to ask, honestly, what’s the point in bothering with these people? They don’t say anything new, ever. You could rerun one of your older articles on them and most people would barely notice. Then I remembered that new readers/lurkers find this site all the time, and mentioning them from time to time at least informs newbies that the nofappers are one of those weird misogynistic groups which exist. There just isn’t a whole lot to say about them though.

Fortunately their harm is largely self-inflicted and unlikely to result in anything worse than the usual casual misogyny, unlike most of the other such groups mentioned here. Unless it’s a gateway to worse groups, but that’s probably really hard to determine.

epitome of incomrepehensibility

Undoubtedly, many men are starting to wake up to the truth of what happens to us after masturbation.

I’m not a man, so what truth is this? What happens?

…become weaker and less of a threat

Sure, because minor physical exertion always makes you weaker. That’s why it’s such a horrible thing to go for walks. The shoe industry is trying to pull the wool over your eyes and encourage it. Shame on them.

There are bound to be trolls of a more haphazard and sophisticated breed on our forum.

Haphazard and sophisticated? I mean, that’s necessarily a contradiction, just an odd pair of adjectives to put together. Kinda poetic.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
3 years ago

@opposablethumbs
Correct. Men — the sex havers — are people. Women — who have sex happen to them — are accessories to people.

Nequam
Nequam
3 years ago

@Snowberry: I suspect it’s just that every so often one of them comes up with some notion that’s so… warped? astonishing? that it’s hard to look away.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
3 years ago

Bu there’s one thing that semen retention does seem to do to more than a few of its practitioners: it makes them more paranoid.

I think cause and effect are somewhat reversed here. At the very least, you likely have to have one foot in paranoid conspiracy theory land to actually participate in the subreddit, as I can’t imagine it being a terribly welcoming place to anybody else.

Last edited 3 years ago by Jenora Feuer
GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
3 years ago

Came here for the fnord, was not disappointed.

Queen of the Harpies
Queen of the Harpies
3 years ago

Actually, I’m all too happy to let them keep it in their pants, and what they’re covering. They’re potentially putting themselves at greater risk for prostate cancer, but I guess that’s their problem.

leading you all astray and back into animalistic-sub-human behaviors associated with masturbation

Funny how humans are one of the only types of animals that have sex while having so many hang-ups and misconceptions about it. Aside from refraining from obviously harmful/bad acts like assault and, to a degree, incest, most forms of consensual sex between adults should be perfectly fine, and flying solo should be a non-issue. This is just a by-product of purity culture that’s actually affecting men (instead of women) for once.

Jack
3 years ago

seems like funny but it’s true.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
3 years ago

((Posting this to the right thread now, since I finally got all my errands done for the day and everything.))

Personally I’d like to know what end goal these nofappers/semen retainers are aiming for by not rubbing one out on a regular basis. Like, what are they planning on doing with all that stored energy they say they now have? For example, monks from assorted religions also aren’t (supposed to be) fapping, but they’re using that saved energy to get closer to their God(s). Are the nofappers/semen retainers using their stored energy to create works of art, making the world a better place via volunteering to help Habitat for Humanity (for example), or something along those lines? Or are they just doing it to have something to humblebrag about?

.45
.45
3 years ago

@ Redsilkphoenix

Wasn’t it the conclusion of other articles on this site that the advantages of nofap lie in then living your best life with your motorcycle while eating steamed green beans with steaks that barely touched anything hot? You know, to prove you don’t need no hoe to cook for you and stuff?

As always, I kind of wonder half jokingly: What if these guys are 100% correct, and their methods are in fact leading them to live their best lives and be their best selves? That would be… depressing.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
3 years ago

Re: the notion that semen retention makes men magically attractive to women

The logical conclusion from that would be that if you’re the person (presumed woman) having sex with an SR guy, you’re the one who will lose interest immediately after he comes.

Gerald Fnord
Gerald Fnord
3 years ago

epitome of incomrepehensibility:
This was exactly a recent President’s hypothesis, as he explained when asked why he didn’t exercise. (My guess is that this same person doesn’t masturbate much, as he considers it the habit of ‘loosers’ who can’t conquer women or afford prostitutes or are hobbled by respect for their vows.) (Predictably, the ‘Oathkeepers’ are now ~100% backers of the most flagrant and notorious oaths-breaker in public life.)