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Come quick! This is the angriest rant about premature ejaculation I’ve ever seen

In the Men’s Rights subreddit, someone called beginningofheaven has some very, well, strong feelings about premature ejaculation and what he calls the “animalization of men.”

I hate how premature ejaculation is a joke and source of shame and how women mock men (and men counterproductively mock themselves) about it.

Ok, snowflake, but some penis problems are at least a little bit funny at least some of the time and this is one of them.

The cure for refractory period (which doesn’t cure PE, but doesn’t make it a problem) is literally Cabergoline, but not only it’s expensive, it isn’t even tailored for that, to the point you have to take care not have heart problems on the dosage.

So you’re so mad that there’s no magic pill for premature ejaculation that you throw a fit about a different drug that has an off-label usage that is vaguely related to PE? And that potentially has deadly side effects?

Maybe you could shove a Cabergoline pill into your urethra; that’ll stop anything getting out.

That’s why I’m not irresponsibly recommeding any medicine here, even though I got my post deleted by a r/menslib mod because of that. Yeah, it was because of that for sure, not at all because I was defending a cause that benefits men in any way shape or form that doesn’t include women.

Focus, dude, focus. You’re losing me.

And why isn’t that solution refined? BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T CARE ABOUT MEN, even though it could improve sex lives for both sexes and make men less nervous on having to hold their pleasure to please girls.

Dude, the pharmaceutical industry positively hungers for pills to solve penis problems. You know how much they take in for erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra? The global market for ED pills could hit $5 billion this year. Pharmaceutical companies would be thrilled to sell a couple of billion dollars’ worth of a premature ejaculation pill if they could.

Instead, society prefers to accept those tacky propaganda about gels that make you last longer, or force men to endure disciplinary Kegels, or enforce a stupid piss competition on who lasts longer in bed.

You’re really too mad to try kegels? Your solution has to come in the form of a pill? Not every solution does.

Why does it feel so unlovable being a man? You have to pledge for even a crumble of civility while women are catered as the only humans who deserve to detach from nature; it’s dehumanizing.

Wait, so first you’re mad that men can’t “detach from nature,” whatever that means, then complain abut being “dehumanized?” Isn’t “detaching from nature” inherently more dehumanizing than *checks notes* … not having a perfect premature ejaculation pill right now.

Cure for periods and childbirth? Sure, we’ll work on that.

Uh, there are no possible cures for periods or childbirth. What are you talking about?

Cure for refractory period that actually already exists? “WELL ACTUALLY WOM-“.

And don’t get me started on priorities, most world governments have enough leverage and resources to invest on research about both sexes equally, no matter how worse childbirth can be.

You think pharmaceutical companies aren’t trying to develop pills for every “male” problem they can imagine? Again, look at all the money they take in for ED pills.

I fucking hate this shit world. Living among those idiots is HELL, living among “people” who just idly accept those atrocities in judgement and ignorance is hell.

Uh, why’d you put irony quotes around “people?” Are you trying to dehumanize them? I thought you were against that.

I took it upon myself to develop a refined version of Cabergoline tailored for men in my lifetime, and more.

What, like in your garage or something?

Do you have any idea how anything in this world works?

Anyway, dude, before your head explodes in anger, let me suggest something to you that could at the very least ameliorate some of your penis worries, and that is: Instead of waiting for a perfect pill to solve PE, learn to do sexy sex things that don’t involve the penis. You have fingers. You have a mouth. You have a brain. Learn to do things with fingers and tongue that women enjoy (and that you will enjoy as well).

(Cis) lesbians manage to have sex without the involvement of any penises, and so can you if yours conks out early on you. Every single person with a penis has troubles with it at some point, but these troubles don’t have to get in the way of good sex. Even without a pill. Take a look at Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men for some ideas if you’re feeling stumped.

And talk with someone about your anger issues, because no one wants to fuck a guy this angry even if he has learned a few of those lesbian tricks.

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.45
.45
1 month ago

“What, like in your garage or something?”

Ok, that’s a weird Breaking Bad spin off I never saw cumming… I mean, coming.

Full Metal Ox
1 month ago

Cure for refractory period that actually already exists? “WELL ACTUALLY WOM-“.

Well actually, even some cis women do have refractory periods—although getting as far as a single orgasm in this twit’s company is a moot point.

Yltra
Yltra
1 month ago

Is he talking about Cesarean sections as a cure for childbirth? Because that is not a cure, it’s a surgery, and it still takes a very big toll on the body. God, this guy is so self-absorbed it’s painful.

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
1 month ago

Bro, I wish there was a cure for periods. Like, you think premature ejaculation is a problem?

I’ve had to go to the doctor for my last two cycles, because my periods are trying to murder me, and doctors STILL really don’t want to let me evict the spasmy monster.

Trust me, bro, if there was a pill that could fix them, I’d be on it.

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
1 month ago

I suppose I should add the public service caveat, for those cursed with misbehaving uteruses.

Periods trying to kill you is not normal. If yours start to try and murder you, see a doc.

Seeing as doc can be demoralizing, because the options can be pretty limited. But documenting the progression of symptoms in an official chart is useful down the line.

epronovost
epronovost
1 month ago

On one hand, yeah, men who suffer from premature ejaculation shouldn’t be made fun of or be the but of the joke and would indeed be great if there was a medical solution to it like there is for erectile dysfunction. On the other hand, as David pointed out, there is an entire wealth of solution to it that are fun and completely free. If you don’t last long, get kinky.

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
1 month ago

I think it’s cute when men ejaculate early.

Sharl
Sharl
1 month ago

I would love a cure for my period. No more body/gender dysphoria, no more having to wear a pad for like a week before the stupid thing is due to show up because it can’t keep to anything like a predictable schedule, no more clogged toilets and stained clothing…. Paradise!

Vucodlak
Vucodlak
1 month ago

Major masturbatory TMI follows:
Huh. I wonder if he would erupt in rage nova if I told him that not all penis-possessing-people have a refractory period. I (sort of) don’t. If I finish before I want I want to finish, I can just keep going until I finish again. Number two more work,* and usually not very satisfying, but I can do it if I put my mind to it.
 
More than that, it’s more something I taught myself to do than it’s something that just happens naturally. I’m sure that some of it is due to my innate randiness, but a lot of it sheer bloody mindedness. When I was younger, I often finished too soon in an unsatisfactory manner, so I told my flagging tumescence “you can sleep when we’re dead, now once more unto the breach!” Eventually I learned how to maintain life after death. Well, after the <em>little</em> death, anyway.
 
Admittedly, I’ve never done this (or much of anything else) with a partner, but I see no reason why it wouldn’t work. If anything, it would probably be easier with another participant to engage with. It’s mostly about having a never-say-die spirit. I suspect it would be easier if you’re “living” for someone else than simply doing it because you’re stubborn. I suspect that a lot of penis-havers could learn the secret of zombie boners, if they were willing to put in the work (and put up with the chafing).
 
*Three is harder still, four isn’t much fun, and beyond that… lies madness.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
1 month ago

Instead, society prefers to . . . force men to endure disciplinary Kegels

That’s because society believed men when they bragged about being tough and macho. Oops!

In the meantime, society has done women’s Kegels for them and then sent women checks for large sums, just for the privilege of being allowed to do that work.

Your cry from the heart is pitiful. Society will surely hear it and make its current Kegels program more fair for men. Well done, beginningofheaven!

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
1 month ago

@Vuda : (similar TMI to his/her post) while people tend to think that the refractory period is some minutes or hours after one coitus, but A – it can be after much more than one orgasm and B – it can last a day for some. Which can lead to things similar to what you say, where they can go three or four time in a row, but won’t want to go again until one or two days.

There’s also friction burn-based refractory period. Albeit some might say it’s more a case of “spirit willing, flesh failing”

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 month ago

men counterproductively mock themselves

Counterproductively? Perhaps he means self-deprecation, the sin of Onan.

or force men to endure disciplinary Kegels, or enforce a stupid piss competition on who lasts longer in bed

Just to clarify, the purpose of those Kegels is men trying to win a literal stupid piss competition if they can’t win a metaphoric one.

And don’t get me started on priorities, most world governments have enough leverage and resources to invest on research about both sexes equally, no matter how worse childbirth can be.

Apparently by equal research investment he means that all research fields should produce as good results as he likes to imagine someone somewhere is getting. No need to prioritize anything, because basically all problems could have been solved already.

Moggie
Moggie
1 month ago

force men to endure disciplinary Kegels

How does that work? Boner police? Kegel indoctrination camp?

griffon8
griffon8
1 month ago

Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men is an awesome book and I recommend it. I have the original edition from 2000.

Here’s something a bit bizarre: the only 1-star review on Amazon for the current edition is reproduced in its entirety here.

Is it weird that rented the house before these women and became concerned?

??????

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 month ago

David wrote:

Dude, the pharmaceutical industry positively hungers for pills to solve penis problems. You know how much they take in for erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra? The global market for ED pills could hit $5 billion this year. Pharmaceutical companies would be thrilled to sell a couple of billion dollars’ worth of a premature ejaculation pill if they could.

Around 10-15 years ago, my university email account used to get lots of spam offering solutions to penis problems. Nowadays, as filters and internet policing have improved, there’s still occasional phishing attempts and dubious financial offers, but none of the health related advertising.

Overwhelmingly, this health related marketing seemed to be about premature ejaculation, not so much about other issues. Notably, there was never anything about female sexual or sex-specific issues. I started wondering, do women not fall for scammy mail order products purported to improve sexual function or sexual self-confidence? The other possibility would be that the spam I receive is targeted by sex/gender, but that doesn’t seem like something spammers could or would bother to do. Even my name (as seen in the email account) isn’t obviously gendered to people outside Finland.

In recent years, I’ve been reading Dr. Jen Gunter’s tweets and blog. Turns out there’s actually a wealth of dubious health and hygiene products relating to vulva/vagina, preying on women’s body insecurity. Still doesn’t explain the lack of related spam, though.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
1 month ago

@lumipuna
I’ve gotten those spam emails. They promise to increase my manhood in three weeks. I’ll give them six weeks — but I’m pretty sure it can’t be done. The necessary materials are lacking.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 month ago

The “cure” for periods and childbirth is called menopause. Those aren’t diseases or disorders, though.

And don’t get me started on priorities, most world governments have enough leverage and resources to invest on research about both sexes equally, no matter how worse childbirth can be.

No, no, let’s DO talk about priorities. One gender has historically been excluded from medical research, due to concerns about fluctuating hormones and pregnancy. I’ll give you one guess as to which one.

Bonus quiz: which gender suffers more from overdosing and drug side effects due to being underrepresented in clinical trials?

Crip Dyke
1 month ago

You know, one cure for premature ejaculation is to have several orgasms as fast as your refractory period allows. By the 3rd you should be lasting a while no problem.

But also, what even is the point of “premature”? Unless you’re actively trying to have a kid, if you were doing sexy times & ejaculated, CONGRATULATIONS, that’s half the point*. Now do some other enthusiastic sexy times with your partner.and when your partner gets off you’ve now achieved the whole point. You’ve engaged in mutual activity with fun orgasms & hopefully friendship bonding. Yay! Hell, if your orgasm is quick at the beginning, you can have more than one! Yay again, literally!

Seriously, how is more orgasms more quickly even a problem? If I could get off in 34 seconds I’d likely start work at lot happier most days.

*Usually. If more than 2 people are involved, change the ratio as necessary.

happy cat
happy cat
1 month ago

What’s worse? Being a woman with endometriosis or being a man with premature ejaculation?

.45
.45
1 month ago

@Lumipuna

Products marketed to women’s insecurities over their naughty bits? Obviously you’ve never stocked shelves in a Feminine Needs sextion.

(I meant section, but mistyped. I’m leaving it, it’s a mildly amusing Freudian Slip of the fingers…)

Edit: Doesn’t explain the lack of spam? Obviously because women don’t know how to use computers, so they have to scam men. Sheez, haven’t you been paying any attention to these Manosphere guys? ;D

Last edited 1 month ago by .45
Full Metal Ox
1 month ago

I presume macho disciplinary Kegels might go something like this?

http://youtu.be/XpoiVKKAS9c

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 month ago

The amusing thing about Viagra was that it was basically a ‘happy accident’. My recollection is that it was originally meant as some form of blood pressure control medication. (It causes capillaries to relax and expand, which can lower the blood pressure. Since the blood flow rate is what controls erection…) It wasn’t until after some of the first people enrolled in the clinical trials started asking if they could keep getting the medication after the rather disappointing results of the medication for its officially intended purpose, and the folow-up questions as to WHY they wanted to keep getting supplies of it, that the drug company producing it realized they had a serious potential money-maker on their hands.

Ted
Ted
1 month ago

Probably the only intelligent thing Adam Corolla has ever said: when you start going down on a woman *the clock has started*! If your hands and mouth can hold out for hours but your dick can only last seconds, ZERO people are mad!
Though, as a trans man who has taught sex ed to the general public, cishet men always insist that they know the major features of the vulva. People who actually know the features of the vulva who don’t own one, IME? Curious *gay* men.

Castrating Harpy
Castrating Harpy
1 month ago

To add on to Contrapangloss’s excellent, important point: if your period is trying to murder you by exsanguination, and your doctor isn’t taking you seriously, please seek out someone who treats bleeding disorders. If you’re in the US, there’s a chance a federally-funded bleeding disorder clinic is in your area: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/hemophilia/htc.html (despite the name, they treat more than just hemophilia).
https://letstalkperiod.ca/self-bat/ is also a good resource, especially for folks in Canada.

Last edited 1 month ago by Castrating Harpy
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
1 month ago

Ted,

Cis men often don’t even know the difference between a vulva and a vagina. It never stops being funny, but also kind of upsetting how confidently wrong they are the subject.

See also cis dudes who think people with uteri go through menopause at age 30.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 month ago

@weirwoodtreehugger:
How does the line go? “Lord, grant me the confidence of a mediocre white man.” I suppose we could add ‘cis’ in there as well.

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
1 month ago

Somebody needs to check this guy’s blood pressure. I’m not kidding. I guarantee this rant has pushed him to the brink of a stroke or heart attack.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
1 month ago

I think this guy spends so much time fapping that all the blood’s gone to his penis. Or so much time ranting online that it’s all gone to cause his blood vessels to expand and go thumpy thump. Seriously, he’s a candidate for a stroke (not that kind).

And I’m sure men everywhere will be thrilled to take a pill “improved” by some rando.

If only the world spent as much money on women’s health as giving boners to men. It’d be neat if we only got birth control at the same rate/coverage old guys get Viagra. And something done about those damn periods, because those aren’t optional and they suck.

@Jenora: I’ve been thinking that saying needs to be posted everywhere.

Mostly_Lurking
Mostly_Lurking
1 month ago

@WWTH

Wasn’t it an article on this site that had some guy trying to mansplain vulva vs vagina, and even when the dictionary stepped in to tell him he was wrong, he still wouldn’t accept it?

@Jenora

Doesn’t even have to be “mediocre”, far too many “sub-par” cis-het white guys are overflowing with unwarranted confidence.

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
1 month ago

@Mostly_Lurking:
Not just the dictionary, but also gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter, who literally has had her own show about this sort of thing.

Also, he refused to admit defeat again later, so there were two articles:
Vulvagate: When mansplaining goes so wrong the dictionary itself has to step in
Mansplainin’ 2: Electric Vulvaloo! The dude who had a Twitter meltdown over the word “vulva” is back

rusalka
rusalka
1 month ago

It’d be neat if we only got birth control at the same rate/coverage old guys get Viagra.

It would also be neat if birth control weren’t the only solution to various problems connected to gynecological problems… reading all this is really frustrating as a woman with possible (yet unconfirmed) endometriosis.

The fact that boner pills were just a lucky mistake just adds insult to injury in my book, considering that women can’t profit of any of due to being excluded from medical trials for years (and if it’s noticed its ends up as an off-label use – yay!). Although I bet somewhere out there some manospherean already had a meltdown about how unfair it is, that “ladies don’t get treated as guinea pigs…” -_-

ignorance is hell.

Scratch the rest of this paragraph and you got the only accurate insight to this guys worldview

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
1 month ago

Mostly_Lurking,

Yep! He tried to argue with Dr. Jen Gunter about it on Twitter. Which was hilarious.

He’s sadly far from the only cis man who does this though. A lot of dudes will melt down when anyone points out that it’s not necessary to wash one’s vagina because it’s self cleaning. Because they think we’re saying not to wash the entire genital area. Because they think the vagina is the vulva.

Full Metal Ox
1 month ago

One of my all-time favorite horror stories of catastrophic cis male ignorance comes from Gehayi, describing her experience interning for a middle-aged State Representative who thought that menstruation was a faucet that could be turned on and shut off at will:

http://gehayi.tumblr.com/post/133454492906

Moggie
Moggie
1 month ago

I remember that vagsplaining guy. Even by the standards of splaining, he was an extreme case, and it was all so pointless. If he collected everything he wrote on the subject, he could probably self-publish it as a book, every word of it wrong.

Mostly_Lurking
Mostly_Lurking
1 month ago

@Jenora

Yeah, that was it, the Vulvagate thing. I didn’t know there was a part 2, now I have to go steel myself and give it a read.

@FMO

The amount of men who think women can just “hold” their periods is boggling. Yeah, I thought that once, before I got my first one and was talking to my mom about it, because I didn’t understand. But I figured they at least teach you the very basics of biology, even in abstinence-only so-called “sex ed” in schools. Now I’m sure the boys are squeemish as always, but I figured at some point, they’d learn about periods, since most of them expect to have a girlfriend/wife at some point. Guess not.

.45
.45
1 month ago

This discussion reminds me of the time I overheard a guy mention in casual conversation how kidney stones were no issue for women. Although most of the people in the room were the aforementioned mediocre white guys and had no better than high school education, there was a long pause as everyone pondered the fact that this guy thought women pee out of their vagina.

Mostly_Lurking
Mostly_Lurking
1 month ago

From now on, Fractally Wrong, tripled-down mansplaining, especially to women about their own bodies, needs to be referred to as “Pullin’ a Bullen”.

I’ll have to depend on the rest of you to spread this around, as I’m generally not that good at releasing these things into the wild.