In the Men’s Rights subreddit, someone called beginningofheaven has some very, well, strong feelings about premature ejaculation and what he calls the “animalization of men.”
I hate how premature ejaculation is a joke and source of shame and how women mock men (and men counterproductively mock themselves) about it.
Ok, snowflake, but some penis problems are at least a little bit funny at least some of the time and this is one of them.
The cure for refractory period (which doesn’t cure PE, but doesn’t make it a problem) is literally Cabergoline, but not only it’s expensive, it isn’t even tailored for that, to the point you have to take care not have heart problems on the dosage.
So you’re so mad that there’s no magic pill for premature ejaculation that you throw a fit about a different drug that has an off-label usage that is vaguely related to PE? And that potentially has deadly side effects?
Maybe you could shove a Cabergoline pill into your urethra; that’ll stop anything getting out.
That’s why I’m not irresponsibly recommeding any medicine here, even though I got my post deleted by a r/menslib mod because of that. Yeah, it was because of that for sure, not at all because I was defending a cause that benefits men in any way shape or form that doesn’t include women.
Focus, dude, focus. You’re losing me.
And why isn’t that solution refined? BECAUSE PEOPLE DON’T CARE ABOUT MEN, even though it could improve sex lives for both sexes and make men less nervous on having to hold their pleasure to please girls.
Dude, the pharmaceutical industry positively hungers for pills to solve penis problems. You know how much they take in for erectile dysfunction pills like Viagra? The global market for ED pills could hit $5 billion this year. Pharmaceutical companies would be thrilled to sell a couple of billion dollars’ worth of a premature ejaculation pill if they could.
Instead, society prefers to accept those tacky propaganda about gels that make you last longer, or force men to endure disciplinary Kegels, or enforce a stupid piss competition on who lasts longer in bed.
You’re really too mad to try kegels? Your solution has to come in the form of a pill? Not every solution does.
Why does it feel so unlovable being a man? You have to pledge for even a crumble of civility while women are catered as the only humans who deserve to detach from nature; it’s dehumanizing.
Wait, so first you’re mad that men can’t “detach from nature,” whatever that means, then complain abut being “dehumanized?” Isn’t “detaching from nature” inherently more dehumanizing than *checks notes* … not having a perfect premature ejaculation pill right now.
Cure for periods and childbirth? Sure, we’ll work on that.
Uh, there are no possible cures for periods or childbirth. What are you talking about?
Cure for refractory period that actually already exists? “WELL ACTUALLY WOM-“.
And don’t get me started on priorities, most world governments have enough leverage and resources to invest on research about both sexes equally, no matter how worse childbirth can be.
You think pharmaceutical companies aren’t trying to develop pills for every “male” problem they can imagine? Again, look at all the money they take in for ED pills.
I fucking hate this shit world. Living among those idiots is HELL, living among “people” who just idly accept those atrocities in judgement and ignorance is hell.
Uh, why’d you put irony quotes around “people?” Are you trying to dehumanize them? I thought you were against that.
I took it upon myself to develop a refined version of Cabergoline tailored for men in my lifetime, and more.
What, like in your garage or something?
Do you have any idea how anything in this world works?
Anyway, dude, before your head explodes in anger, let me suggest something to you that could at the very least ameliorate some of your penis worries, and that is: Instead of waiting for a perfect pill to solve PE, learn to do sexy sex things that don’t involve the penis. You have fingers. You have a mouth. You have a brain. Learn to do things with fingers and tongue that women enjoy (and that you will enjoy as well).
(Cis) lesbians manage to have sex without the involvement of any penises, and so can you if yours conks out early on you. Every single person with a penis has troubles with it at some point, but these troubles don’t have to get in the way of good sex. Even without a pill. Take a look at Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men for some ideas if you’re feeling stumped.
And talk with someone about your anger issues, because no one wants to fuck a guy this angry even if he has learned a few of those lesbian tricks.
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“What, like in your garage or something?”
Ok, that’s a weird Breaking Bad spin off I never saw cumming… I mean, coming.
Cure for refractory period that actually already exists? “WELL ACTUALLY WOM-“.
Well actually, even some cis women do have refractory periods—although getting as far as a single orgasm in this twit’s company is a moot point.
Is he talking about Cesarean sections as a cure for childbirth? Because that is not a cure, it’s a surgery, and it still takes a very big toll on the body. God, this guy is so self-absorbed it’s painful.
Bro, I wish there was a cure for periods. Like, you think premature ejaculation is a problem?
I’ve had to go to the doctor for my last two cycles, because my periods are trying to murder me, and doctors STILL really don’t want to let me evict the spasmy monster.
Trust me, bro, if there was a pill that could fix them, I’d be on it.
I suppose I should add the public service caveat, for those cursed with misbehaving uteruses.
Periods trying to kill you is not normal. If yours start to try and murder you, see a doc.
Seeing as doc can be demoralizing, because the options can be pretty limited. But documenting the progression of symptoms in an official chart is useful down the line.
On one hand, yeah, men who suffer from premature ejaculation shouldn’t be made fun of or be the but of the joke and would indeed be great if there was a medical solution to it like there is for erectile dysfunction. On the other hand, as David pointed out, there is an entire wealth of solution to it that are fun and completely free. If you don’t last long, get kinky.
I think it’s cute when men ejaculate early.
I would love a cure for my period. No more body/gender dysphoria, no more having to wear a pad for like a week before the stupid thing is due to show up because it can’t keep to anything like a predictable schedule, no more clogged toilets and stained clothing…. Paradise!
Major masturbatory TMI follows:
Huh. I wonder if he would erupt in rage nova if I told him that not all penis-possessing-people have a refractory period. I (sort of) don’t. If I finish before I want I want to finish, I can just keep going until I finish again. Number two more work,* and usually not very satisfying, but I can do it if I put my mind to it.
More than that, it’s more something I taught myself to do than it’s something that just happens naturally. I’m sure that some of it is due to my innate randiness, but a lot of it sheer bloody mindedness. When I was younger, I often finished too soon in an unsatisfactory manner, so I told my flagging tumescence “you can sleep when we’re dead, now once more unto the breach!” Eventually I learned how to maintain life after death. Well, after the <em>little</em> death, anyway.
Admittedly, I’ve never done this (or much of anything else) with a partner, but I see no reason why it wouldn’t work. If anything, it would probably be easier with another participant to engage with. It’s mostly about having a never-say-die spirit. I suspect it would be easier if you’re “living” for someone else than simply doing it because you’re stubborn. I suspect that a lot of penis-havers could learn the secret of zombie boners, if they were willing to put in the work (and put up with the chafing).
*Three is harder still, four isn’t much fun, and beyond that… lies madness.
That’s because society believed men when they bragged about being tough and macho. Oops!
In the meantime, society has done women’s Kegels for them and then sent women checks for large sums, just for the privilege of being allowed to do that work.
Your cry from the heart is pitiful. Society will surely hear it and make its current Kegels program more fair for men. Well done, beginningofheaven!
@Vuda : (similar TMI to his/her post) while people tend to think that the refractory period is some minutes or hours after one coitus, but A – it can be after much more than one orgasm and B – it can last a day for some. Which can lead to things similar to what you say, where they can go three or four time in a row, but won’t want to go again until one or two days.
There’s also friction burn-based refractory period. Albeit some might say it’s more a case of “spirit willing, flesh failing”
Counterproductively? Perhaps he means self-deprecation, the sin of Onan.
Just to clarify, the purpose of those Kegels is men trying to win a literal stupid piss competition if they can’t win a metaphoric one.
Apparently by equal research investment he means that all research fields should produce as good results as he likes to imagine someone somewhere is getting. No need to prioritize anything, because basically all problems could have been solved already.
How does that work? Boner police? Kegel indoctrination camp?
Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men is an awesome book and I recommend it. I have the original edition from 2000.
Here’s something a bit bizarre: the only 1-star review on Amazon for the current edition is reproduced in its entirety here.
??????
David wrote:
Around 10-15 years ago, my university email account used to get lots of spam offering solutions to penis problems. Nowadays, as filters and internet policing have improved, there’s still occasional phishing attempts and dubious financial offers, but none of the health related advertising.
Overwhelmingly, this health related marketing seemed to be about premature ejaculation, not so much about other issues. Notably, there was never anything about female sexual or sex-specific issues. I started wondering, do women not fall for scammy mail order products purported to improve sexual function or sexual self-confidence? The other possibility would be that the spam I receive is targeted by sex/gender, but that doesn’t seem like something spammers could or would bother to do. Even my name (as seen in the email account) isn’t obviously gendered to people outside Finland.
In recent years, I’ve been reading Dr. Jen Gunter’s tweets and blog. Turns out there’s actually a wealth of dubious health and hygiene products relating to vulva/vagina, preying on women’s body insecurity. Still doesn’t explain the lack of related spam, though.
@lumipuna
I’ve gotten those spam emails. They promise to increase my manhood in three weeks. I’ll give them six weeks — but I’m pretty sure it can’t be done. The necessary materials are lacking.
The “cure” for periods and childbirth is called menopause. Those aren’t diseases or disorders, though.
No, no, let’s DO talk about priorities. One gender has historically been excluded from medical research, due to concerns about fluctuating hormones and pregnancy. I’ll give you one guess as to which one.
Bonus quiz: which gender suffers more from overdosing and drug side effects due to being underrepresented in clinical trials?
You know, one cure for premature ejaculation is to have several orgasms as fast as your refractory period allows. By the 3rd you should be lasting a while no problem.
But also, what even is the point of “premature”? Unless you’re actively trying to have a kid, if you were doing sexy times & ejaculated, CONGRATULATIONS, that’s half the point*. Now do some other enthusiastic sexy times with your partner.and when your partner gets off you’ve now achieved the whole point. You’ve engaged in mutual activity with fun orgasms & hopefully friendship bonding. Yay! Hell, if your orgasm is quick at the beginning, you can have more than one! Yay again, literally!
Seriously, how is more orgasms more quickly even a problem? If I could get off in 34 seconds I’d likely start work at lot happier most days.
*Usually. If more than 2 people are involved, change the ratio as necessary.
What’s worse? Being a woman with endometriosis or being a man with premature ejaculation?
@Lumipuna
Products marketed to women’s insecurities over their naughty bits? Obviously you’ve never stocked shelves in a Feminine Needs sextion.
(I meant section, but mistyped. I’m leaving it, it’s a mildly amusing Freudian Slip of the fingers…)
Edit: Doesn’t explain the lack of spam? Obviously because women don’t know how to use computers, so they have to scam men. Sheez, haven’t you been paying any attention to these Manosphere guys? ;D
I presume macho disciplinary Kegels might go something like this?
http://youtu.be/XpoiVKKAS9c
The amusing thing about Viagra was that it was basically a ‘happy accident’. My recollection is that it was originally meant as some form of blood pressure control medication. (It causes capillaries to relax and expand, which can lower the blood pressure. Since the blood flow rate is what controls erection…) It wasn’t until after some of the first people enrolled in the clinical trials started asking if they could keep getting the medication after the rather disappointing results of the medication for its officially intended purpose, and the folow-up questions as to WHY they wanted to keep getting supplies of it, that the drug company producing it realized they had a serious potential money-maker on their hands.
Probably the only intelligent thing Adam Corolla has ever said: when you start going down on a woman *the clock has started*! If your hands and mouth can hold out for hours but your dick can only last seconds, ZERO people are mad!
Though, as a trans man who has taught sex ed to the general public, cishet men always insist that they know the major features of the vulva. People who actually know the features of the vulva who don’t own one, IME? Curious *gay* men.
To add on to Contrapangloss’s excellent, important point: if your period is trying to murder you by exsanguination, and your doctor isn’t taking you seriously, please seek out someone who treats bleeding disorders. If you’re in the US, there’s a chance a federally-funded bleeding disorder clinic is in your area: https://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/hemophilia/htc.html (despite the name, they treat more than just hemophilia).
https://letstalkperiod.ca/self-bat/ is also a good resource, especially for folks in Canada.
Ted,
Cis men often don’t even know the difference between a vulva and a vagina. It never stops being funny, but also kind of upsetting how confidently wrong they are the subject.
See also cis dudes who think people with uteri go through menopause at age 30.