Succubus troubles, again

There’s trouble in the astral realm. The trouble is that it’s filled with horny Reddit dudes astrally projecting themselves into the spirit realm in hopes of turning some friendly ghost into a friendly ghost with benefits — and getting a little freaked out when the being they’re astrallly schtupping turns out to be a succubus.

Let’s start with Jackisbacck, who seems to be trying to use the astral realm as a sort of mystical version of Tinder, that could ultimately bring real live girls to him in real life after they meet cute in the astral realm.

Last night I figured I’d give astral projection another try. I used binaural beats with earbuds. This time I got closer than ever … I focused and felt vibrations and saw light passing me.

And off he goes into the astral realm, which for some reason seems to look just like his room. In any case, he soon meets a new friend.

Then I got these random thoughts of someone saying hello to Me and it was a woman.

Whoa. Potential succubus alert!

She somehow told me her name is Serena. I’m not sure how it worked as this is all in my head like random thoughts popping up. (I don’t know anyone named Serena Nor do I think about that name, like, ever.) .

Did she look something like this?

She wanted me to come out of my body.

I bet she did. That’s how they get ya!

She tried to help me relax by touching my dick and was sort of giving me a reward system for reaching certain points. She stuck her mouth on my dick and

Hold on a minute big boy. Whatever happened to “what happens in the astral realm stays in the astral realm?”

Anyway, after some more naughty stuff — seriously, get a room, you two! — he and Serena almost get him out of his physical body.

Then I got closer to getting out of my body and I was able to pull my hands out but my chest and head and leg on my left side was stuck in my body still. I felt sort of sideways like half was out and half was in minus my head, as I still couldn’t see outside.

Can’t really help you with that, headless dude.

Then I felt like she got on my dick and was riding me and I didn’t nut or anything but it felt amazing .

Dude, this is Reddit you’re posting on, not Penthouse Letters.

Seriously. Anyway, after that she got off, probably because she knew I wasn’t able to go any further in and she disappeared for what felt like 10 minutes. I … felt the urge to tell her where I lived and how she could find me if she was in fact a human and not a spirit. I asked her several times throughout the time I was doing it if she was a human or a spirit but she wouldn’t tell me. She would just giggle sweetly if I asked. Idk it was weird.

Yeah, that’s probably because she’s 1) a succubus or 2) a figment of your imagination or 3) (most likely) a combination of the two.. Didn’t you do any reading about astral projecting before jumping right in?

Has anyone had a similar experience?

Sadly, yes, and they want us to know all about it. Consider the tale of Andromeda_5, another Redditor setting a course for the heart of the astral realm but somehow ending up in the astral version of a massage parlor. And now he finds himself addicted to astral love.

I achieved my first few astral projection during the first lockdown after years of trying. And I almost immediately went straight to astral sex, then got sent to an office all in white while some entity in white (spirit guide?) told me that it was disappointed in me, and I got sent back to my body lol. I woke up pretty ashamed of what I did.

Well, did you give her an astral orgasm, at least?

The last and most distinctive time I astral projected, I walked around my house a little before… I did the thing again. … I started thinking about incubus and succubus, and a literal demon thing came out of nowhere ( but I didn’t sense any negative/demonic energy).

Dude, listen to what you’re saying. It’s a demonic creature. Of course it has demonic energy.

Since then, I’ve had lots of sex-related lucid dreams, and I wake up annoyed now because it’s happening like 2 times a week. …

It’s annoying because it’s becoming an obstacle. I do want to project, even though I’m still a little scared about the loss of control, I want to meet my guides and do cool astral stuff.

Don’t we all.

But the astral sex/lucid dreaming happens so frequently now that I want control over it. I just lose myself in the moment completely and don’t think about anything else. What if the thing bonking me is a dangerous entity?

Now you’re asking the right questions.

I want to have control. I just had a nap and it happened again, I just want it to stop!

Obviously not all of you wants to stop. Sounds like you need to have The Talk, with yourself.

Meanwhile, there’s howdoyoudomate who seems oddly resistant to using the “S-word.”

Last night I woke up around 4am and then went back to sleep whilst I was trying to stay aware. I felt myself move downwards out of my body as I was laying on my front but all I could see was darkness and flashing lights.

Were you by chance sleeping on a pinball machine?

I felt something or someone kissing me and so reciprocated it back and I could feel their body, I just couldn’t see them. I remember feeling this tingly/electric sensation around my groin as I felt them pressed up against me. It got quite intense and then I got scared and I woke up in sleep paralysis

Dear Astral Penthouse, I never would have believed it could happen to me ….

I broke up with my girlfriend a while ago and haven’t been able to have sex in a while cause of lockdown in the uk so it’s been on my mind a lot. I guess as I was going to sleep I was thinking about it and then when I projected it happened

THAT’S HOW THEY GET YA!

Who would it have been that I was kissing? Or could it have been just created by my thoughts? I could literally feel their lips against mine and I could feel their body so it was quite a crazy experience so I feel it could’ve been a person or an entity of some sort

One word, howdoyoudo: SUCCUBUS.

Delactebles, thankfully a littel less verbose than some of his peers, recounts his adventures with what he calls an astral “thot.”

My experience was just a normal human female and she was very very attractive and cute and also nice and loveable which is my type of girl and she talked to me in a very very cute way and I’m like “ahh damn, who is this? Why is she so cute?” And she started seducing me and stuff and woke up drained and exhausted and I didn’t know what a succubus is!? I regained strength in just 5 weeks

Five weeks? FIVE WEEKS!? You’ve definitely got a succubus or perhaps astral mono.

Burkiooo had a somewhat different reaction to the possibility he was schtupping a succubus.

So recently this the second time this has happened. I was sleeping and kept going they sleep paralysis and going back to sleep because I felt so tired. The last time I drift off I remember waking up what seemed like my room but I could very much tell it wasn’t then I was on top of a woman that look liked and felt like a woman I had slept with before but her shoulders were weird looking.

Did they have giant bat wings attached to them?

I remember being on top of her, my face next to her hair and I couldn’t see her face and didn’t bother to but proceeded to have intercourse and then Ik something was off, this was not a regular wet dream.

The wet-dream connoisseur has logged on.

As soon as the intercourse began it felt different then she said,” Do it again” in the softest moan. She had her arms wrapped around me.

Once again this is turning into Penthouse Letters.

So I said I rebuke you in the name of Jesus and her ass kind of screamed and bit my neck and I woke up.

Directed by M. Night Shyamalan.

Seriously, I did not see that coming, and apparently neither did the succubus. I’d get that bite looked into, though.

By the way, here’s my favorite song about succubi:

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