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bad boyfriends evil nice women

“My girlfriend is wasting my power words on her friends,” complete asshole complains

This guy knows how to use his words

So I was poking around in the Am I The Asshole subreddit archives when I came across this lovely example of, well, I’m not really sure what it’s an example of but I think you all will appreciate it. It’s kind of incredible, really.

AssholeAITA for getting angry my girlfriend is wasting my power words on her friends? (self.AmItheAsshole)

submitted 7 months ago by SirenBait2

I (30M) have been dating my girlfriend Jean (21F) for about a year now. Part of what I love about her most is that she is so supportive of me.

I'm stuck in a dead end job, really unhappy with where I am in life currently so getting to hear her talk me up and tell me how awesome I'm doing is probably one of the few things that actually gets me through the day. When she tells me I'm great, I call those 'power words' cause knowing someone as hot, successful, and cool as she is thinks I'm doing good really gets me fired up.

Recently, we got together with a zoom meeting with some of our friends. One of our friends, Trish, was mentioning that she was nervous for a driving exam, so Jean was trying to reassure her. Which would be fine, except she used the exact phrasing she uses when she's powering me up. I got really upset and stayed quiet for the rest of the movie. When she asked me what was wrong, I told her the truth.

I feel like she shouldn't be wasting my power words on other people. I need them most and when she says things like oh, I think you're the most incredible guy ever!, and then goes and tells her friend that she thinks she's incredible, that's really disheartening. It makes me feel like nothing she says is real. I've got a big project at work coming up soon and now I can't get hyped because I know whatever she tells me is meaningless.

I've really hurt her feelings by saying her platitudes were meaningless but I just feel betrayed. AITA?

You’ve got to give him credit for one thing: he’s come up with a new (or at least new to me) way of being resentful of a woman.

Here’s a Kate Bush song filled with “power words” that she’s suggesting are kind of meaningless. But at least she’s not being a fucking pissbaby about it.

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.45
.45
5 months ago

Didn’t you do this one already?

Lizzie
Lizzie
5 months ago

I have seen the question before too, but maybe not here. Had a quick check on Captain Awkward’s site, didn’t see it there.
Or maybe we are experiencing a negative reality inversion…

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
5 months ago

Conservatives grade life on a curve, hence the spite when someone else receives the same thing, and the failure to recognize a non-zero-sum game.

Example #1197318 added to the registry …

Megi Stardust
Megi Stardust
5 months ago

Lately when it comes to these dudes the only reaction I can muster is “what the fuck…”

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
5 months ago

I hope the girlfriend saw this and DTMFA. He does not deserve her power words.

happy cat
happy cat
5 months ago

“Hello, I’m upset because my girlfriend is kind, supportive and a great friend. Am I the asshole?”

Jon
Jon
5 months ago

How dare a woman not exist solely to placate a male’s ego by reassuring him that he is a good big boy.

Mog
Mog
5 months ago

Girls play with dolls. Boys play with action figures.

Women are vulnerable and ask for reassurance but they don’t really need it. Men are in a challenging place and deserve exclusive POWER words to get them through.

Agh, I hope this is creative writing.

Hexum7
Hexum7
5 months ago

I think we can call off the search. Shut down thus reddit for good. We’ve finally found them- – THE Asshole

Meerkat
Meerkat
5 months ago

It’s familiar because it was featured on the AITA twitter.

How dare she think people other than him are incredible unu

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
5 months ago

Dude’s the poster child for participation trophies.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
5 months ago

I had the same thought as .45: I think WHTM has done this one already. No matter, this stuff bears repeating.

This post reminds me of an exchange I had with a guy many years ago, who complained that his girlfriend, by complimenting him a lot, gave him an inflated sense of himself. Because of this, his suffering was intensified whenever he failed at anything. And he wasn’t complaining about only his girlfriend, but all women: apparently that’s what we all do with the men in our lives. Although I was much younger then, I had already heard a lot of bullshit about women — but this guy was laying on the bullshit with abandon. Not unlike this guy, the one who’s a big, whiny asshole.

Last edited 5 months ago by Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
5 months ago

Today I Learned that words are a finite resource that need to be carefully conserved, or else we will run through our supply.

Pity that the MRAs never seem to run through their supplies of words.

Moggie
Moggie
5 months ago

@.45:

Didn’t you do this one already?

We discussed it in the comments a month ago, after Full Metal Ox linked to the AITA post.

Andrew Langmead
Andrew Langmead
5 months ago

It says something to me that the guy doesn’t know concepts like “compliments” some has to reinvent it himself with the social tools available to him: “power” and “words”

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
5 months ago

Does he think his girlfriend is a D&D spellcaster and has only a certain number of power words she use each day?

North Sea Sparkly Dragon
North Sea Sparkly Dragon
5 months ago

I wasn’t aware that words were a finite resource and must only be used for certain people at certain times and that using them for people other than the designated ‘word-receiver’, then they lose all meaning.
/sarcasm.

Allandrel
Allandrel
5 months ago

@moregeekthan

Glad I’m not the only one whose first thought was the set of D&D “Power Word” spells.

These would be “Power Word: Bolster,” I guess?

Luzbelitx
5 months ago

My guess is that this total dickhead thinks her gf’s friend is just a shallow evil bitch who no one could possibly think is incredible, therefore concluding his gf is lying to her.

I hope gf gets away from him, fast

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
5 months ago

I can kind of get how you might feel upset if someone’s pep talks were the only thing that got you through the day and then heard the “exact phrasing” used for someone else. It might make the whole thing seem insincere.

That said, so many questions. If the girlfriend gives him regular pep talks, how can she use the “exact phrasing” for someone else? Does she always give the same talk? If she habitually encourages other people, why would these be “his” power words? She’s presumably done it to other people before she met them; surely someone else has an earlier claim? If he “needs them the most”, isn’t that also a position that subject to change?

Also a nice trick of outsourcing the terribleness of his job on her. It’s a dead-end job that’s making him really unhappy, but it’s her all-too-liberal use of word sorcery that’s making it hard for him to get hyped.

Moggie
Moggie
5 months ago

He’s trying to control how she’s allowed to interact with other people. He’s also trying to neg her down to his level. Soon, he’ll probably try to control who she can see. She needs to get away from him while she still can.

If it’s real, of course. A lot of AITA posts are so on the nose that they’re probably pure invention.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 months ago

This reads like a mashup of “My Last Duchess” and “Lonely Boy” by Andrew Gold.

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
5 months ago

Side note: isn’t 30 a bit old to still be thinking that the boss of your dead-end, capitalist job gives a shit about how your project turns out.

Vic
Vic
5 months ago

@moregeekthan:

Side note: isn’t 30 a bit old to still be thinking that the boss of your dead-end, capitalist job gives a shit about how your project turns out.

I think 30 is also a bit old to be with a 21 year old…

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
5 months ago

@Moggie

If it’s real, of course. A lot of AITA posts are so on the nose that they’re probably pure invention.

What amount of on-the-nose-ness distinguishes pure invention?

Moggie
Moggie
5 months ago

@Big Titty Demon:

What amount of on-the-nose-ness distinguishes pure invention?

That’s a fair question, to which I don’t really have an answer. But people derive such awful entertainment from the worst stories posted in AITA, that it would be surprising if there weren’t trolls posting fiction there.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
5 months ago

I have a sinking feeling that this isn’t a fictional troll. If it is, they have the whiny man-baby thing down perfect.