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cringe evil sex-rejecting ladies misogyny nice guys

Top 5 Nice Guys who really aren’t so nice after all

How is it that so many self-proclaimed nice guys turn out to be so terrible?

I don’t have the answer to that but I do have some fine examples of Nice Guyism — five in all — borrowed from Reddit’s Nice Guys forum, devoted to showcasing DMs sent by “self-proclaimed ‘nice guys’ who are actually manchildren or douches, or who mistake being spineless and pathetic for being nice.”

That escalated quickly:

Thu, Dec 24, 2020, P." DM 
Merry Christmas Natalie hopefully you get treated right this year and didn't end up on Santa's naughty list. 
Tue, Dec 29, 2021, 9:34 PM 
I think you should be my new years resolution 
Sun, Jan 10, 10:42 PM 
Let me take you out for a coffee 
Sun, Jan 24, 11:01 AM 
Need a sugar daddy? 
Today 9:15 PM 
t Slut

Im very nice to women:

01; 1111,. talk im very nice to...en 
ot wag _ Hello the. 
2. Fucking ‘vho. cant even giva a nice guy a chance fuck you

Surprise ending:

Today 3:59 PM 
O 
What are you doing Love you as a girlfriend wor mg and I care about you as 
a friend 
Love you as a girlfriend 
Want to date 
But we aren't dating? 
No, I have a boyfriend 
Delivered 
Good bye forever we are not friends no more

This guy’s mask came off pretty quickly:

thats nice but im not interested, sry 
Dan 
you are as every girl 
ugly 
why me you are rude no me 
no need to be rude 
every girls are same 
you all lie cheat not give me 
a good guy 
a chance 
okay what the fuck 
i already have a bf 
hope he cheat on you you deserbe that ypu ugly 
i hope you die

*Cringes*

And neither do I.

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Le Samourai
Le Samourai
14 days ago

“Niceness does not equal goodness. Niceness is a decision, a strategy of social interaction; it is not a character trait. People seeking to control others almost always present the image of a nice person in the beginning.”
― Gavin de Becker, ‘The Gift of Fear’

Trying
Trying
14 days ago

I wish I could believe the last one was fake. Ewewew.

Joekster
Joekster
14 days ago

I think the key term there is ‘self-proclaimed’. People who are actually nice don’t go around claiming to be nice.

Last edited 14 days ago by Joekster
matruz
matruz
14 days ago

Well, hopefully some of these guys are still growing up and emotionally maturing, maybe in ten years they will look back and say “Boy, I was sooooo cringy back then!”

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
14 days ago

I feel like we’ve seen the *using asterisks to signify cringy actions* thing before. Is it a manosphere thing? Or has it become a manosphere thing?

Full Metal Ox
14 days ago

“Yoo-hoo! I’m NICE! So you owe me not only your attention but a pussy treat!”

http://youtube.com/watch?v=TxC9-PJfyKo

(By the above commercial’s logic, the Klondike company owes me six bars for every time I was subjected to it; unfortunately, I’d already crashed my pancreas by that point.)

Last edited 14 days ago by Full Metal Ox
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
14 days ago

This all… reminds me of the guy in my Japanese film class that yelled at me that he knew I hated him and women like me should just fuck off, etc… we had never spoken before, so yeah…

Especially the last one.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
14 days ago

Ugh, italics mammoth ate the last part of my comment. I only meant to italicize the word become

Full Metal Ox, I had to watch it with the sound off, but that commercial looks AWFUL. I don’t imagine it’s improved by having the sound on.

Nequam
Nequam
14 days ago

I was going to say that this was the only Klondike Bar ad that didn’t suck… but it turns out it’s for a wine cooler?!

http://www.weirduniverse.net/blog/comments/vincent_price_as_a_polar_bear

Full Metal Ox
14 days ago

@Bookworm in hijab:

The wife is talking about painting the foyer a nice yellow, which evidently bores the husband to the point of torture; five seconds of ordinary interpersonal civility earns him a KLONDIKE BAR!!! YAYYYY!!!!

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
14 days ago

I feel like we’ve seen the *using asterisks to signify cringy actions* thing before. Is it a manosphere thing?

Nah. Online D&D’s where I first met that. It’s useful – saves pissing about with quotes or italics to seperate your char’s words and actions.

Last edited 14 days ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
ChrisB
ChrisB
14 days ago

These guys think they are nice?

Lollypop
Lollypop
14 days ago

My IQ is barely adequate (they make you do the things when you are dyslexic) and I still have more self awareness than these guys.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
14 days ago

I can’t count how many times in recent years I have described a truly good man as “a nice guy. No, really, actually a nice guy, not one of THOSE!”

Snowberry
Snowberry
14 days ago

I find that if you look at it more broadly, there are a lot of “nice people” who really, really aren’t, and generally you can see right through them. Not all of them humblebrag it (or just flat outright demand to be recognized as such), and most of them don’t use the specific self-description of “nice” as that’s mostly a man-looking-for-sex thing, but it’s part of a phenomenon which goes far beyond the manosphere.

I will say that it’s darkly hilarious when someone tries to wield their supposed reputation like a cudgel to try to get things out of strangers who have no reason to know who they are. (“Supposed reputation” because their actual reputation probably isn’t what they think it is, “darkly” because it’s usually only funny when it happens to someone else.) “I am a good person, why are you denying me?!” they practically outright scream, to someone who they only met minutes ago and has so far seen only garbage behavior from them.

This can look similar to, or occasionally overlap with, someone who knows they’re not actually nice but tries to pull rank or privilege (which they may not actually have) on others for ego reasons, or even sadism or spite.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
14 days ago

@GSS ex-noob,

I can’t count how many times in recent years I have described a truly good man as “a nice guy. No, really, actually a nice guy, not one of THOSE!”

This is how I describe my husband.😆

@Snowberry,

generally you can see right through them

Your comment really resonated with me. If there’s one key relationship skill I’m trying to instill in my kids, it’s trust your gut. You don’t need to give reasons for why you don’t like someone (especially if that someone is demanding that you provide said reasons). I think a lot of women fall for the facade NiceGuysTM put up because a) we’re socialized to put others’ feelings ahead of our own and to care for others at the expense of our own needs, and b) we don’t want to be seen as “mean” if we admit, even to ourselves, that someone just creeps us out and that we don’t want to be with them.

I really struggle with this, not romantically but in (supposed) friendships. I had, and still have, a bad habit of taking on friendships with “nice” people, people I have “no good reason” not to like, even if I have a bad feeling about them, and then getting used as an emotional punching-bag. NiceGuysTM definitely try to weaponize womens’ “be kind at all costs” socialization to use against us.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
14 days ago

Argh, Snowberry, THIS is what I meant to quote:

Not all of them humblebrag it (or just flat outright demand to be recognized as such), and most of them don’t use the specific self-description of “nice” as that’s mostly a man-looking-for-sex thing, but it’s part of a phenomenon which goes far beyond the manosphere.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
14 days ago

On that first one, the second text appears to be from the future. It’s dated December 29, 2021.

Normally Nice Guyswait 45 minutes or so before having a tantrum. This one’s so pushy, he’s traveled back in time nine months to pre-emptively call her a slut.

SpecialFFrog
SpecialFFrog
14 days ago

It’s almost like “nice” only makes sense as a label others give you rather than one you give yourself and you only get it by being nice to others.

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
14 days ago

Um… I definitely have used the * thing before. Usually on Tumblr when using the post style of a “chat”.

Usually, the asterisked actions or impressions get a whole line to themselves so it’s something like:

Dog: *wags tail*

Contrapangloss: Who’s a good doggo?

Dog: *WAGGING INTENSIFIES*

Contrapangloss: *Melts from dog cuteness overload*

I’ve stopped using it mostly, just because it seems to be frequently done either poorly and chaotically, and the group of people doing it are starting to mostly be… not the sorts I want to share writing quirks with.

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
14 days ago

@Joekster

I think the key term there is ‘self-proclaimed’. People who are actually nice don’t go around claiming to be nice.

This is precisely how I know an extravagantly asshole move for funsies is coming from one of my friends (or I warn them myself), we start reminding each other what nice people we are and you know a joke taking the piss out of someone is coming.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
13 days ago

Contrapangloss,

and the group of people doing it are starting to mostly be… not the sorts I want to share writing quirks with

I sympathize! Your doggo action-descriptions are FAR cuter (though tbh the MRAs set the bar pretty low…)

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
13 days ago

Off topic, but: Happy Easter everybody!

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
13 days ago

I hate NiceGuys so much. I take pride in letting them know exactly how I feel. It’s the entitlement that gets me.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
13 days ago

OT, but I’m having some problems with Firefox and Facebook recently, and have been unable to get useful information out of Google. I’m hoping someone here knows how to fix things.

With Firefox, for the past week or two it no longer always shows a cached copy of a page when I use the “back” button. Fairly often it does a fresh reload from the server without my asking, which can spoil things and at the very least is a significant slowdown. The only recent change to Firefox that sounded like it could be relevant was “partitioned caching”. I tried disabling that and restarting the browser but the inefficient “back” button problem persists. How do I get the old behavior back?

And with Facebook I can no longer reliably scroll down in the “chats” sidebar at the left side of the “messenger” page. Sometimes it will load more names if I scroll down. Other times it will not scroll past the initial screen-height of names. Interestingly, if it will load the second screenful it will not get stuck at the third, or fourth, or etc. — always, either it will not load the second, or it will work fine, for a given instance of having loaded that page. It’s like there’s two nearly-identical-looking versions of the page that you can get when you go to load it, a scroll down enabled version and a scroll down disabled version.

The problem is, it’s getting steadily worse. Almost every load gives the scroll down disabled version and to get the scroll down enabled version takes sometimes dozens of reloads.

Needless to say, this is unacceptable, and I have used Facebook’s bug reporting tool to report it. They have ignored the bug reports and continue to let the problem get worse.

How do I force them to either fix it immediately or, at the very least, disclose to me the magic formula for how to do a page reload that guarantees I get the scroll down enabled version? I’ve tried nearly every permutation of: reload; shift-reload; click in address bar and hit “enter”; close tab and control-shift-T to get it back; close tab and spawn a new one with right click “open in new tab” on the “contacts” sidebar on a non-messenger Facebook page; right click “open in new tab” on a name under “chats” on an existing messenger tab, then close the old tab and try to scroll down in the new; right clicking particular names; going to another Facebook page in the tab and then back again before trying to scroll down; and so on. Nothing works consistently. I don’t know what is making the difference between the loads where I get the good, scroll down enabled version and the loads where I don’t. I want to know what is making that difference so that I can control that variable to always get the good version, if Facebook refuses for some reason to fix their shoddy product. So what’s the magic formula?

Oh, and before you ask why I don’t just reload until I get the scroll-down-enabled version and then never, ever, ever, ever close or reload that tab ever again, I tried that and Facebook threw another curveball. After a while of using any Facebook tab it will eventually spontaneously do a full reload. Even trying to bring an image up in the pop-over lightbox can set this off, once it decides it is “due” (and then the image’s “X” to close it and return to the underlying page will disappear!) So there is NO WAY to keep a Facebook messenger tab from reloading to the (probably) bad, scroll down disabled version short of never using it at all, which “solution” would render the whole thing pointless.

Since I have done nothing wrong to deserve either of these frustrating problems, I am clearly within my rights to have them solved immediately. Unfortunately, I lack needed information and Google refuses to find it for me, on either issue. Does anyone know how to fix these problems?

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
13 days ago

@surplus

You can’t use Firefox for that anymore. You need Google crome or Microsoft edge

Have you been using Firefox this whole time? Bro no wonder you have so many problems. That browser is so outdated and it has a hole in its programming the size of texas. I’m surprised your computer hasn’t exploded from the amount of viruses it probably has

Last edited 13 days ago by Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
13 days ago

I’m so glad I’m done with dating

North Sea Sparkly Dragon
North Sea Sparkly Dragon
13 days ago

‘Nice’ is lying. Anyone who calls themselves a ‘nice guy/person’ is automatically a liar.

Let me explain. I have a few times said I can be nice or I can be honest, not both. This is not hyperbole. When I say something complimentary it is the truth. If I’m being ‘nice’ – usually because my sisters or mother are standing next to me poking me with a finger if I say the wrong thing – I’m being insincere. If I have to be nice, I’m being forced to lie, and I don’t like lying and I don’t like insincerity, therefore, I am not nice. Which means I don’t have to lie and I can be blunt and honest. Works really well with being autistic.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
13 days ago

I’m absolutely the first to admit I know considerably less than nothing about anything computerly, but I’ve been using Firefox for years, it’s regularly updated and I’ve never had any problems with it. Any possibility it could be missing some updates? (sorry I don’t have any actual knowledge to share, though 🙁 ) (I have had to change one or two plug-ins or add-ons or whatever the fuck they’re called, when one I was using was no longer supported so I had to find an alternative). I sympathise with computer woes precisely because I’m so useless with them myself (>.<)

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
13 days ago

@Surplus:

For the ‘back button’ part, at least, some of that could be just an attempt at saving memory by dumping the old cache… one trick that often works for that is that instead of just clicking the link to go to it, and then using ‘back’, right-click and do ‘open in new tab’, and then close the tab when you’re done. That way the original page was never moved away from, and the original cached version will still be in the original tab when you close the new one.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
13 days ago

@opposablethumbs

Nah – I’ve used Firefox since it started out. Only times it gives me any problems now at all is if I’m messing around in a game and the browser wants to update – laptop starts lagging something fierce so I’ve got to hit a save point and deal with Firefox’ demands for attention (or close the browser before playing, but that’s a non starter!)
It’s a decent program as long as you keep it updated. Suppose Chrome is technically better, but Google already knows too much about me!

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
13 days ago

One guy I used to know was always described as nice, and he demurred that every time he heard it. He really was, but of course he had good and bad days like we all do, and did not-nice things on occasion like everyone. But he was polite AF. He’s now famous enough that if he ever did anything truly or even mildly horrible, we’d all have heard about it by now, so I presume he continues to be actually a good person on the whole.

@Le Samourai: I want to give that book to everyone, or at least to all tween/teen girls.

CarrieV
CarrieV
13 days ago

Once again proving that Nice Guys™ just cloak themselves under the Nice Guise.

Robert
Robert
13 days ago

One of the things I’ve enjoyed about retirement is being pleasant and polite to people, especially retail workers and other frontline flak catchers. My husband has observed that I don’t have an intuitive sense of how to do this, but that I’ve gotten better at it over the years.

It’s actually fairly simple to make other people feel good about having to deal with you, and it feels good to do it. Not necessarily easy, but simple.

These NiceGuys tee em don’t seem like happy people, and they’re certainly not the source of happiness in others.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meani
13 days ago

Since we’re on the subject of Gavin de Becker books, another one that might be of interest to parents and/or teens is Protecting the Gift: Keeping Children and Teenagers Safe (and Parents Sane). Based on the Amazon product description it sounds like it’ll give advice on (amongst other things) teaching kids on how to watch for danger without turning them into quivering puddles of fear.

https://www.amazon.com/Protecting-Gift-Keeping-Children-Teenagers/dp/0440509009

By the way, am I the only one who’d like to see an updated The Gift of Fear – or maybe an entirely separate book – covering the current wave(s) of mass shooters in the US, plus how to defend yourself when the Internet troll hordes target you?

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
13 days ago

Redsilkphoenix,

By the way, am I the only one who’d like to see an updated The Gift of Fear – or maybe an entirely separate book – covering the current wave(s) of mass shooters in the US, plus how to defend yourself when the Internet troll hordes target you?

This would be amazing. Does anyone know if there is a Gift Of Fear-esque book that deals with these issues?

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
13 days ago

Nah. Online D&D’s where I first met that. It’s useful – saves pissing about with quotes or italics to seperate your char’s words and actions.

This. When using discord (the platform i use for onling rpgs) starting and ending with an asterix italicezes the text. So I immediately saw this as ‘douchebag roleplaying as a ‘nice guy'(tm)’.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
12 days ago

@Robert: yes, just saying “Thank you” sincerely can really make someone’s day.

By the time I answer the doorbell, the Amazon/UPS/whatever driver is already back to their truck, but I give them a big wave and yell THANK YOU! and they wave back. They go out into the germ-filled world so I don’t have to, and it’s the least I can do.

Hyber
Hyber
2 days ago

I had a discussion with my spouse yesterday and he mused that he has probably never encountered a genuinely nice, or kind person he thought was physically ugly. I can subscribe to that. Halo effect works both ways, from inside out as well; if you think someone is a pleasant person, it simply makes the person more pleasant to look at, too, even if that person is not “objectively” attractive looking. Incels, “nice guys” and the like have a grain of truth in their delusions about the source of their misery, namely their alleged ugliness. Complete fucktardness leaks out pretty rapidly when interacting with people (and as these examples demonstrate, no live contact is even required). Even conventionally handsome and beautiful people do not get away with being disgustingly ugly personalities forever.

I’m fairly sure the last one’s fake, though. Troll at most, not that it substantially improves the situation.