A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do, and sometimes that thing he’s gotta do is to write a 1300-word rant about evil single moms who want to find new fathers for their kids.
It takes him a little while to get to the point, but life isn’t about the destination; it’s about the journey. Although, to be fair, his rant is less a ride down the highway of life as it is a ten-car pileup.
So I’m sitting here, I guess you can say a bit free. Free of the spell, of having a warm BODY to lay with.. Warmth is nice. Having a warmno body to lay next to, feel, is a nice thing.
Huh.
A nice, shapely woman to put your hands on, is always good. it’s not very fun to put your hands around something very large. Say you’re going to lay down, and you have to place your arms around a whale of a being.
He hasn’t even gotten in the vicinity of the point yet, but he’s already digressing.
( I’m not knocking fat chicks, not my thing.) (( but I’ve been there.)) – Well, I had me a whale of a woman at one time, roughly, 13 years ago, when I was a young punk shit, and couldn’t get…..
…. let’s say I just evolve Beyond what that lady was for me. Some guys like whales.
Oh yes, single mothers. Sorry. I met the jackpot of single mothers. Blond. Petite. Green eyes. Like to to go on motorcycle rides…
But there was just one goddamn motherfuking problem. I’m looking into the eyes of some fucking child. Some fucking bastard child. A child, that is longing for a father. A child, that would come up to me with his iPhone, trying to show me YouTube videos.
No, no, no! NO CHILD WILL EVER SHOW ME YOUTUBE VIDEOS.
Whose responsibility is it, to supplicate the love that is necessary for this thing?
Uh, “supplicate” means “ask or beg for something earnestly or humbly.” Not sure that’s the word you mean here, chief.
I’ll tell you whose responsibility it is not. It is not mine. Here is a clue I’m going to drop on you guys.
When I met this Psychopathic bitch we will call, the single mother. Don’t get me wrong. Loved her too fucking death. She is fucking beautiful. And amazing in every way, and a motherfuking artist, literally she sells paintings, is educated, speaks two languages, did my laundry, clean my fucking room, showed me some good food…..
So she’s “amazing in every way” except also, somehow, a “psychopathic bitch.”
….. but there was this fucking kid. This fucking child in the way.
Gosh how could you possibly have foreseen that coming while dating a single mother. What might have clued you in to the fact that SINGLE MOTHERS tend to have CHILDREN.
I’ll get back to that in a second. Before you call me some heartless, senseless, shitbag. An analogy. When I was a security guard, 10 years ago, I stumbled upon a litter of kittens. They were cute, adorable, full of life.
Aw, fuck, now he’s got tiny adorable kittens all mixed up in his bullshit.
These kittens, we’re about five of them, in a bush. I picked up one of these kittens, and because they were feral, the motherfuker bit me on my goddamn fucking finger. Blood squirted the fuck all over the place and I feared I got rabies.
I guess even tiny baby kittens can tell that you’re an asshole.
Life Goes On. And as beautiful, put together, strong, independent, cunning, intelligent, artistic, athletic this single mother of a woman I met, she is still a mammal. And what do mammals do in the wild? They make fucking litter of kittens.
Once again, our hero here seems somehow surprised that a single MOTHER would have at least one CHILD.
The absolute universal law, that governs every molecular manifestation that we as human beings live for today, involves, that same invisible, unexplainable driving force. Is procreation. That being said, the most motherfuking, goddamn, fucking draining thing ever, you can do in this life, is to attempt, to utilize your life resource, in bringing up the life of another.
So maybe you could try NOT DATING SINGLE MOTHERS.
Imagine, if I were to take on, adopting one of those stupid fucking kittens that I picked up in the wild? How many hours would it take, to raise this kitten, from placing it in a box, winning it on regular milk, heading it so that it would adapt..
Heading it?
I don’t even care what he meant to say there because I”m just glad he didn’t teke those poor innocent kittens in and then yell at them for being kittens.
Do I sound like the kind of guy, who has the patience for this fucking shit? Now imagine, investing the time and life effort into bringing up something, that has nothing to do with your own personal genealogy, Legacy, or spiritual imprint you’re going to leave on this Earth, rather that of another man?
Wait, are we still talking about kittens? Because if we are I’m getting very confused. Your cats aren’t going to help you pass your precious genes on to the next generation. And hopefully no human woman will either.
Brace yourself now. We’ve got a sharp fucking curve coming up.
And while you are doing that job, do us all a favor, ask a black man with a 10-foot dick, to come in the room bang your girlfriend, while you watch and suck your thumb, then pay him while he does it.
That is the equivalent of if you are going to become involved in another man’s child’s life.
No, it really, really isn’t.
[Edit: For Racially sensitive woke bots. This previous comment was not “Singling out the black man.” In fact, I am complimenting the black man for having superior dong sizes. If only I could have a penis the size of my forearm. My apologies. I digress.]
Yeah, nothing racist going on here.
There’s not enough words for me to describe the Slime that is a man, who allows a public court system to have his child taken away. Such was the situation when I met the aforementioned I’m speaking of.
What was the situation? Whose kid is this now? What are you talking about.
but a year was enough. One day I was driving in my car, having another Dramatical, emotionally charged, rollercoaster of a conversation with the single mother I was dating, and all of a sudden these words slipped out of my mouth.
” I will never raise another man’s child.”
Say it with me Brethren, and say it loud.
“I WILL NEVER RAISE ANOTHER MAN’S CHILD.”
Now say this with me, dude: I WILL NEVER DATE ANOTHER SINGLE MOTHER BECAUSE IF I’M NOT WILLING TO DEAL WITH THEIR KIDS I SHOULDN’T BE DATING THE MOTHER FOR A YEAR.
Now that particular combination of words, must have been potent enough to elicit a grading of emotional response from the receiver, because we have not talked nore seen each other in two weeks. I think she got the message.
Maybe you should have given her this particular message before you started dating her. And certainly before stringing her along for a year.
I was not trying to be flagrantly abusive, rather I was driving down the road when she was sending me some texts about, “not being man enough”, “accountable enough”, nor having the “emotional capacity” to love a family etc etc. …
Thee words just pooped out.
They pooped, that’s for sure.
TRULY.
It’s been a few weeks. I’m not going to lie. I do miss having a nice warm body to lay down next to, and give slight kisses on the cheek, exchanging “sweet nothings.” – but this one, I forgot, comes at a heavy price.
A heavy price you could have avoided altoether by just not dating single moms as I believe I might have mentioned one or two times before
That is the price of being cucked. CUCKED into an expectation of a role that I have no motherfuking interest to fulfill. Hell, why don’t you just make me go become a substitute teacher.
What.
While we’re at it, let me buy 10 pairs of khaki pants, participate at the local elementary school as a softball coach, and donate my weekends to knitting classes at the local Senior Center.
What are you even talking about?
( those are all Noble Deeds, don’t feel bad if you do any of those actual things.)
Yes, I’m sitting in the parking lot right now eating my pita chips and hummus. With my Trader Joe’s salad pack.
What relevant details.
One thing I would like to say, is that, I will not blame a woman for her actions in the reproductive game. When we are caught up in the midst of chemical neurosis and the smell of pussy, we’re not seeing the big picture.
Dude, you’re not even seeing the little picture.
little Timmy needs a daddy, and Mommy’s income just got cut in half. If you say you did not see the signs, you are a stupid fucking idiot. And don’t take that personally, because I willingly chose to be a stupid fucking idiot.
The first thing you’ve said that I agree with.
Now I have no regrets because, I was able to exchange bodily fluids with a European princess, who, unfortunately, has a young prince that needs guidance. But I’m no knight, I’m the guy who was shoveling manure outside of the castle courtyards so the crops will grow better for the kingdom Harvest.
This isn’t a metaphor; it’s just free association.
the dating strategy for single mothers will always be complex and evolve. Maybe the new single mothers don’t realize the implications of having a small human life and how it may become Kryptonite for a man, so they don’t really try to hide it at first.
I’m sure whatever strategy they come up with will work best if it enables them to avoid guys like you.
After enough guys have bounced, they stop putting it on their Tinder profile. ( or do they? I’m not sure.)
If a single mother is looking for a hookup, she might leave it off. But any single mom who’s looking for a long-term relationship is going to leave it on, because otherwise they might get stuck with a guy like you.
– every single mother has a right, to tell every man, “My child will always come first.”
And Every Man Has a right to say’ ” SEE YA!”
And everyone together has the right to say “you’re really kind of an asshole!”
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@David:
I know it’s a slip of the keyboard, but it’s a pretty great one.
Do these guys want single mother they find hot to abandon their children so they don’t have to deal with the kid?
The only reason this guy has probably never uttered the fourteen words is because he’s not going to secure the future for another man’s children.
Nobody has 10-foot penises anymore. Big Owl took care of that when he got tired of carrying his dick wrapped around his waist and having to fuck ladies from the far side of the river. He stretched several inches of dick with one hand and cut the rest off. He then coiled it up and turned it to stone, and it remains where he left it to this day. So ever since then, people’s penises are measured in inches, not in feet.
This is pretty creepy, the obsession with warmth and hands.
And this reads as very suggestive, and not in the way he meant.
Sure you did. And then the whole motorcycle clapped.
If she’s that amazing, I’m sorry she was stuck cleaning up after this guy.
It seems kind of explainable. Also, I don’t think that governs everything we do anymore, we have evolved free will.
I always win cats with regular milk, it works much better than irregular milk.
Or for trying to show him YouTube videos.
That sounds unwieldy. Is that flaccid or erect? Does he carry it over his shoulder? How does he pee? So many questions.
Is this the new “SJW”? It doesn’t roll off the tongue quite as well.
I think being a substitute teacher is a bit different than being a stepdad. Sounds like you’re doing one or the other wrong.
Do what you want with the khakis, but leave the kids and seniors alone.
I think “kind of” is unnecessary here.
He sure uses “motherf*#king” a lot for someone who doesn’t want to f*#k mothers!
Check out Emily Dickinson up in here with the Random capitalization. I’m mad at him for wasting this (hopefully imaginary) woman’s time.
By the same token, why should the Hot Single Mom be saddled with taking care of another woman’s overgrown child (”did my laundry, clean my fucking room, showed me some good food….”)?
So where do you go if you actually do want to date hot single moms and are supportive of the whole MOM part of it?
I’d love to have more kids (even though they can’t be genetically mine without serious medical intervention) and my daughter would probably love to have a/some sibling(s), too. So getting with somebody who already has one or more kids of their own sounds like the ideal solution. Might need some family counseling for pointers how to navigate the ins and outs of blending families, especially if gene-donor dad is still in the picture in any way, but…
This is true. It’s usually polite to do so before you’ve been dating for a year, though.
Very slow acting kryptonite that only affects men after 12 months of dating a single mum, entirely of their own free will and in full knowledge.
My conclusion is the story, if not entirely made up, is the ramblings of a man who’s just been dumped and is desperately trying to make it look like that was his decision.
I’m mildly surprised that he didn’t brag about stomping those kittens to death.
What. That’s what you live for.
I’m sorry for this woman and her kid that he stuck around that long. But hopefully he’s true to his word and won’t date another woman with a kid. Being a stepparent really isn’t for everyone. It’s hard. Kids are hard work. But stepping is a special kind of hard. For example, I complain about my kid and people are all “Yeah, being a mom is a tough job.” I complain about my stepsons in the same way and from the same place and I’m some kind of Cinderella-enslaving-bitch. And I have it relatively easy and think I’m pretty well-disposed to stepping. My partner is an awesome step-dad, but I know he has his struggles, too – especially since he’s there more for my son than he is for own kids due to circumstance (rather than desire). Being a step-kid is hard as well, especially if your other bio-parent puts in place loyalty tests and blockers and it would be even harder if your parent’s partner is an asshole.
As for this yay-hoo, I agree with lollypop, mom wised up and dumped his ass and he’s trying to make it sound like it’s his decision.
Wow, that kitten fucked him up good.
I have to call BS on the kittens portion of the story at least, because bottle babies are too young to be feral. They’re not feral until about five weeks. No way did he pick up a bottle baby and have it bite him in the thumb. Even at five weeks, the most they do is spicy hissing. They’re still easily socialized up until about eight weeks.
His hypothetical kittens were better off with their mother and not with this guy, but I don’t think they were real.
I’m not sure whether the rest of it is a creative writing exercise, too. There’s a lot there that seems real and a lot that seems not, so I’m going to go for “highly embellished” or maybe “based on a true story.” It seems real that he dated a single mother and she broke up with him when he finally got comfortable enough to show her his true colors – and good for her because he sounds like a manchild who needs a woman to clean up after him and feed him, she already has one kid and doesn’t need to be dating a second one. But I’m skeptical of the details. IDK.
Dude’s an idiot and the woman (and kid!) dodged a bullet there.
This guy’s delusions of eloquence are almost as distressing as his message.
@Threp: Bullet? I’d say they dodged an entire machine gun burst.
@David: “Asshole” is far too kind a word to describe this guy.
It’s not her responsibility to be what you want. If she’s not right for you, just move on. You don’t have to go on a massive, pseudo-science-laden rant about it.
The commas…that fucker is going to give me comma nightmares for weeks.
@PoM
I concur, I think he did date a single mother at some point but the details are at best heavily altered or made up from whole cloth.
I look forward to this gentleman’s 1000+ word story about the time he put his hand on the hot stove. And how, after a few digressions about stoves and cooking and some random racist stuff, he decides that the intense pain and damage to his hand is not, in fact, worth all the warm-object-hand-touching. Or something along those lines, I doubt is will be fully lucid.
This dude definitely thinks that teaching is a cuck job.
Called it. Though I do think there’s a difference between someone actually forcing you to take a job you don’t want and are ill suited for, and you just carrying on with a single mom and being mad at her for having a child you want nothing to do with.
Whew! Thanks man, weight off my shoulders and all that now that I know you don’t judge me for my Noble Deeds (if any).
But it really sucks to be this guy. I can’t see anything wrong with telling a single mom that you really like her but would just like to remain casual and are not ready to become a part of her family, but then again that would probably mean no laundry service.
I can’t believe how mad this guy is about a kid…. trying to show him a youtube video. The kid didn’t ask for money, didn’t ask him to cook for him, didn’t ask him for a ride, he was just like “hey bob you’ve dated my mom for a while and you’re in my life all the time and I didn’t ask you to be there so hey, you wanna see this minecraft video I like?” and this piss baby was like “how dare your crotch spawn think he can speak to me!? I’m not his father!”
“I have nothing against plus-sized women, black men, or substitute teachers. I will now disparage them as whales, oversexed threats, and khaki-wearing knitters.”
@Full Metal Ox:
THIS. THIS THIS THIS THIS. He’s by far the worse “investment”, too, being a fully grown adult. She has to wait on him hand and foot and massage his fragile ego, while the only thing expected of Mr. MGTOW is to watch an occasional YouTube video and not visualize a 10-foot black penis every time he looks at the kid.
Being transactional about relationships is bad enough, but these MGTOW dudes can’t even manage to clear that low bar. They take, take, take and never give. It’s straight up emotional theft. They’re full of excuses about why they deserve to be catered to by a hot housekeeper, but also how emasculating and terrible it is to be expected to spend money on a woman and give them compliments. They’re the relationship equivalent of Donald Trump stiffing contractors.
When their partner finally wises up and dumps them for a more emotionally mature adult, they whine about gold-diggers and hypergamy. More projection, I guess.
Wait, the same child he just called a “thing” and recoiled from when the boy tried to share a phone video, is now suddenly a precious child and his father is a lowlife for not fighting harder to keep custody? WTF is this doublethink?
…oh wait, I see. He sees kids as just genetic trophies, nothing else. Certainly not human beings. Her son is a constant reminder that someone else “won”, so he’s going to be salty about it and sabotage the other guy’s DNA by rejecting the kid.
This guy is utter pond scum. I hope the single mom finds someone amazing to share her life and her son with. She fully deserves it.