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Wot’s all this then? Red Pill romancer plans to pull the birds with a fake British accent

Romance and fake British accents don’t go together like beans on toast

They are seriously running out of ideas over there on the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.

Oi! Piss off, mate!

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Kestrel
Kestrel
15 days ago

I am curious where he is living in the UK. There are many different accents there. My husband has a mostly public school accent with a strong dose of Hong Kong & Midwest USA. Then again, every accent is sexy to someone I guess.

bcb
bcb
15 days ago

There are several good reasons to learn accents. If you enjoy speaking in different accents. If you are an actor. If you like being able to blend in in different cultures.

Picking up girls does not seem like a good reason to learn an accent.

Naglfar
Naglfar
15 days ago

I can just imagine it now: guy with a really bad fake British accent reciting canned pickup lines. This is not going to end well.

(20+ but I don’t count)

Sure, that definitely happened. And then the whole double decker bus clapped.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
15 days ago

Sure, he’ll get more girls, if by “more girls” he means female speech therapists or doctors who worry that he’s had a stroke. But he doesn’t talk to people like that, so I’m going to go with “nah, best stick with your Jodrell Bank.”

@Naglfar: and then the Queen gave him a pony!

Full Metal Ox
14 days ago

Something similar worked for a friend of my mom’s, but it was a matter of making lemonade of a lemon life handed him: surgery to correct a cleft palate and subsequent speech therapy left him (a native English-speaking white Floridian) with a vaguely Dutch/Swedish/German accent; apparently he had the panache to parlay that into the image of an International Man of Mystery and intrigue girls.

But speaking of which…@Naglfar:

I can just imagine it now: guy with a really bad fake British accent reciting canned pickup lines. This is not going to end well.



Last edited 14 days ago by Full Metal Ox
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
14 days ago

A fake accent? What an original idea! There’s no possible way he’d slip up after a couple of drinks!

Crip Dyke
14 days ago

@Kestrel

I am curious where he is living in the UK. There are many different accents there. 

Uh, I think he said it would be the British one, so the one from Britain, not just any accent in the UK, obviously. That would be silly.

Also, he’s a totally real person who actually lives in the UK and not some vain whack job just posting random bullshit so that he can read other people praise his crafty chick-pulling wiles.

GSS ex-noob
GSS ex-noob
14 days ago

He’s totally been living in the British part. Absolutely. The part with the cool accent.

@Full Metal Ox: I have been meaning for a few days to wish you a Happy Year of the You.

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
14 days ago

Okay, I have to ask, what the fuck is that picture for the article. Is that baked beans on toast? what kind of food crime is that. What kind of cursed image did David fine.

Robert Haynie
Robert Haynie
14 days ago

@Elaine The Witch:
That is, in fact, exactly what it is. Beans on toast– preferably Heinz, out of a can, and branded Heinz Beanz. Yes, spelled with a Z. Yes, it’s simple beans in tomato sauce, and it’s a thing you put on toast in England.

For breakfast. In fact, if you order a “Full English” breakfast, that’s usually the kind of beans you get. You’ll also get bacon, eggs, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, fried bread (or toast, but fried bread is more traditional), and sausages. The beans aren’t universal, but very common, as are black pudding, bubble and squeak (look it up), and once upon a time grilled kidneys (rarely found as an option these days).

Hey, you asked…

LollyPop
LollyPop
14 days ago

@Elaine

Is that baked beans on toast? what kind of food crime is that. 

As a British person, this hurts me.

I’ve got some tips for this guy! I have a East Kentish accent, which is truly like music to the ears. You simply drop your Ts, but in a slightly different yet nearly undefinable way to someone from Essex and East London. What could be simpler!

If he wants to puzzle any potential US conquests into bed, he also has the option of using obscure regional terminology. Just say she’s proper ansum and should give him her number dreckly. Then they can jump northwards 350 miles and pop to the offie for some bifters.

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
14 days ago

While I can’t get behind beans on toast (or someone who’s eaten some, hur hur) and find it an incredibly odd concept of food, some time ago I’d realised that my aversion is entirely cultural, seeing as I have no problem scooping up hummus and fūl (fava beans) with a pita. Ends up fairly similar when you think about it.
Now the chip butty on the other hand, that is truly a travesty of the lowest order. 😉

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
14 days ago

Oh, and as for the content of the post, there was a similar plot line in the movie Love, Actually, although there it wasn’t someone learning an accent, just a guy travelling to the US to use his existing one. It was intentionally silly and porn-y, and quite funny in that way. I don’t think trying to emulate it will do much good, although it might be a different sort of funny.

I kinda wonder about the setting described; is the dude supposed to be an American living in the UK? Because describing his accent as “the standard American accent on TV” sounds odd if he is (I’d expect someone who’s from the US to say something like “I’m originally from [state/city/region] but have been living in the UK for [X] years”), but talking about learning the UK accent is somewhat odd if he isn’t. Unless he’s from a third place, and then why not attempt to use that as the attraction?
Figure out your premise better, before you write your story!

Last edited 14 days ago by Penny Psmith
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
14 days ago

Yeah, you should definitely use an accent to try to “pull girls.” Your idea is, by far, the least harmful thing I’ve ever heard of from the manosphere. You sound like a dork, not a killer. Yay!

rv97
14 days ago

I hope other Brits get offended badly enough by his attempt to have a convincing British accent that no one wants to be near him.

gijoel
gijoel
14 days ago

Christ what a wanker.

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ Elaine

what kind of food crime is that

Beans on toast is the food of the gods!

I have noticed this revision though with American friends before. One thing we put that down to, was that American beans are really sweet compared to Brit ones. There are historical reasons for that. It was common in the US to do beans in molasses; so that set the sugary trend. Whereas the savoury tomato sauce variant caught on here.

@ Penny

Now the chip butty on the other hand, that is truly a travesty of the lowest order.

How do you survive winters!

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ lollypop

Just say she’s proper ansum and should give him her number dreckly.

“Where’s that to me lover? Right on.”

Snowberry
Snowberry
14 days ago

Ugh. No no no. While I’ve made (and liked) many dishes involving both tomatoes and beans, that ungodly abomination which is baked beans in a can is nauseating at best. Maybe because it usually has sugar in it, as some particular combinations of sweet+sour don’t sit right with me (I don’t like most ketchup, for instance), or maybe baking beans just totally ruins them somehow, maybe both, or the canning process ruins it, or something else, but I’m not particularly inclined to experiment with homemade versions to figure out exactly why.

Incidentally, redpillers aren’t any better.

Naglfar
Naglfar
14 days ago

@Penny Psmith

describing his accent as “the standard American accent on TV” sounds odd if he is

Yes, it certainly does. Either he really doesn’t know anything about accents or he’s making up his story out of whole cloth, or both. In my experience, when people from other countries are asked to describe or imitate an American accent they usually go for a southern or Midwestern one, but generally are aware that there are multiple American accents.

As for chip butties, I kind of give the UK a free pass on sandwiches, since the modern sandwich was invented there.

Moggie
Moggie
14 days ago

I don’t come here to have people disrespect the food of my people!

As for accents, there used to be ads on the London Underground from (if memory serves) Las Vegas, saying “come holiday where your accent is an aphrodisiac”. I think there ought to have been small print saying “unless you’re a Brummie”.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
14 days ago

“20+ but I don’t count”

Sure, mate. Absolutely no bollocks in that figure.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
14 days ago

I remember seeing a comparison of how different british accents are perceived (of course I don’t remember where I saw it (>.<) and iirc Yorkshire and Scottish accents were rated joint first for trustworthiness and honesty, while Scottish came out ahead on intelligence (others e.g. Essex and Brummie got a lot of negative reactions).

Yes, I know it’s all stereotyping and prejudice … (except, well, in evidence one might mention that the Scots haven’t voted tory in over 60 years) :-s

Last edited 14 days ago by opposablethumbs
Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ moggie

I think there ought to have been small print saying “unless you’re a Brummie”.

There’s some interesting stuff about advertising and accents. Like how they use the West Riding accent to sell basic food staples like bread. We’re supposedly more trustworthy.

But they use the Brummie accent for financial products aimed at the general public. Apparently the idea being to emphasise that they’re not as complicated as people think, so even a Brummie could understand it. I would say that’s a bit harsh; but I have actually been to Wolverhampton. *Ducks*

British accents are very popular with US law firms though for courtroom work in the States.

Last edited 14 days ago by Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

Re: accents generally

I went to a lecture once by some forensic dialect experts. We got chatting afterwards and they were able to tell where I’d grown up, where I’d moved to and when, and how long I’d lived in various places; and what sort of education I’d had. They were spot on.

This was the team that analysed the ‘Wearside Jack’ tapes. They were able to pin down the suspect to one particular street. Which gives an idea of how variable accents are here. (They also accurately predicted his dental history and tooth appearance.)

Last edited 14 days ago by Alan Robertshaw
Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
14 days ago

(20+ but I don’t count)

The kind of guy who talks about “pulling” “girls” is definitely the kind of guy who counts.

Moggie
Moggie
14 days ago

“Standard American accent” is a term common among non-American actors needing to “sound American” without any strong regional identity. Does it have any currency outside that context? What would someone from Brooklyn and someone from Atlanta understand by the term?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
14 days ago

I don’t understand why this certified multiple-lady-puller, with 20+ successes that definitely nobody is keeping count of (but did we mention it’s OVER 20), would need an extra trick up his sleeve, one that requires a lot of extra effort to convincingly pull off. It only makes sense if deception is the main goal, not the actual sleeping-with.

If he goes through with this plan, I hope he goes all out and wears an ascot and a bowler.

Re: beans, American baked beans are sugary molasses-soaked nightmares, so I’ll take everyone’s word for it that the British version is tastier.

LollyPop
LollyPop
14 days ago

@Alan Robertshaw

I recently moved to the West Country and heard my first “proper job” the other day 🙂 I imagine “emmet” might be close behind, haha.

I think what I perceive as the Standard American accent is actually lots of different accents, to those whose ear is attuned to it. I realised when visiting family from the States that their accent – which I thought of as first as generally American – has qualities unique to El Paso, where they are from. Although I have been assured that the USA doesn’t have entirely different accents just a few miles apart like the UK does.

Last edited 14 days ago by LollyPop
Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
14 days ago

@all about the beans

I’m sorry but that is really disturbing, It’s just going to make your bread wet with all the bean juice from the can. But then again I’m from Kansas and I can’t imagine eating chili without a giant cinnamon roll on top of it. So go as you will with your baked beans on toast monstrosity.

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ lollypop

Proper Job is also a rather nice beer. I got to field test some prototype proper job peanuts once. There were only ten jars produced. I meant to save them for posterity, but I ended up scarfing them all walking back from the pub.

Have you visited Porthemmet beach yet? It’s lovely; and very exclusive 😉

http://www.porthemmet.com

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ Eliane

It’s just going to make your bread wet with all the bean juice from the can

The trick is to let the toast cool a bit first. Then the bread forms a sort of impermeable crust; so it doesn’t go soggy.

Having said that, I like ‘Beans on Toast Tartare’; which is basically cold beans tipped over bread. Get the right bread though and that’s lovely.

Hambeast
Hambeast
14 days ago

One of the most amazing things I learned in a college speech class was that dialects can be temporal as well as regional. The example given was the “Valley Girl” thing from the 80s.

I legit WAS a Valley Girl, but in the late 70s and all of my friends and I talked like that. We gave it up pretty much immediately upon graduating high school but I had never considered that it was an actual dialect of US English. And it was very specifically located in the San Fernando Valley during the late 70s and early 80s. It got picked up more widely after the Moon Zappa song became popular.

I was in the Air Force, stationed in Nebraska the first time I heard the song and was mystified that it would be understood by anyone in the Midwest. I had to start telling people I was from Iowa for a while so they would stop asking me to talk like a Valley Girl!

Naglfar
Naglfar
14 days ago

@Moggie
I’m not from Brooklyn or Atlanta, but I am American. To me, the phrase “standard American accent” doesn’t mean much, since I grew up in a different region than I currently live in and I’ve travelled a lot, I’ve heard a lot of different accents. Maybe to someone who has lived in the same area their whole life it means something?

@Lollypop

Although I have been assured that the USA doesn’t have entirely different accents just a few miles apart like the UK does.

Although there aren’t entirely different accents, it’s more of a continuum, there definitely are variations. For instance, in Massachusetts there are subtle yet noticeable (to locals, at least) differences between Boston and Worcester accents, cities which are about an hour’s drive apart.

Mrs Morley
Mrs Morley
14 days ago

It’s possible (albeit unlikely) that the poster meant the Standard American stage accent

LollyPop
LollyPop
14 days ago

@Alan Robertshaw

Ha! Took me a clear ten minutes to catch on 😉

@Naglfar

This makes sense, and it did occur to me reading your comment that there’s different accents just in native New Yorkers if pop culture has taught me anything, so I imagine its one of those truisms about the US that isn’t that true.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
14 days ago

@Naglfar

For instance, in Massachusetts there are subtle yet noticeable (to locals, at least) differences between Boston and Worcester accents, cities which are about an hour’s drive apart.

Some of the variations are class-based (think Revere Beach vs. Brookline), but there are differences as you go west. I like to think people in Woostah pick up the extra “r’s” that get dropped by people in Boston (ideah -> idear) so that there’s a total conservation of r’s. They’re more likely to say “shot” for “short”, where in Boston it would be more like “shaart”.

Maine has quite a few dialects, which isn’t surprising in a rural state. There’s Downeast, midcoast, southern Maine (technically eastern New England), island vs. mainland. People who live in Houlton sound functionally Canadian. Franco-Americans in Biddeford speak differently than Franco-Americans in Madawaska. Lobsterese changes to loggerese as you get north of Lewiston.

Nowadays, the variations might be more generational than geographic. Young people are more likely to move out of state for college/jobs and lose the accent. These days you have to go pretty far north to hear people saying “ayuh”, “spleeny” (to mean wimpy) and cleaning the “culch” (rubbish) out of their cars.

Chris Oakley
Chris Oakley
14 days ago

O/T, but it’s just been announced that Rush Limbaugh is dead.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
14 days ago

@Penny Psmith

Unless he’s from a third place, and then why not attempt to use that as the attraction?

I’ve heard enough cringy stories about Finnish-speaking Finns doing whatever they can think of to sound less Finnish when they’re abroad to think it’s reasonably possible that a person would find their “normal” accent to be unappealing for any sort of… pulling activities. That said, it would make a lot more sense to explain that if you actually wanted advice on which accent you should try to adopt when operating in an environment that’s foreign to you.

re: not counting
Considering that he’s not counting, I’d be interested to know what time period he’s talking about. 20 women a night is a different figure from 20 women over the course of his life. Even if he was just guesstimating the number by how often he goes out and how he typically fares, that would still involve some counting. (Also, it speaks volumes that this uncounted pull is his only context when he’s neglected to say where he’s from or what languages he speaks etc.)

On a related note, I only recently noticed that once there’s more than five of something, I no longer can tell the amount at a glance, which makes it interesting when I try to keep track of how many people there are in a room at work (because of Covid restrictions) and have a hard time differentiating between “uh, sevenish?” and “the room is chock full what is happening”.

ninyabruja
ninyabruja
14 days ago

@moggie
when I was at Emerson College in the early 90s they required students to take Voice and Articulation, which our instructor told us meant learning to speak like a U S newscaster.

North Sea Sparkly Dragon
North Sea Sparkly Dragon
14 days ago

Just no! Baked beans are vile. It’s a texture/smell thing for me. I never could understand why my mum liked them, or mushy peas. I can’t stomach humous either. Reading about medieval food in Ruth Goodman’s new book made me very glad I live now.

Oh, and please, we can tell when the ‘British’ accent is fake. It’s that regionally non-specific/faux London noise that people try in films.

epitome of incomrepehensibility

The traditional Quebec “sugaring off” meal (to celebrate the maple sugar season) often has a side of beans in maple syrup. 🙂

And accents are something I’d happily blab about for hours, but I’ll try not to!

Yes, “standard American accent” seems too broad, but I’ve heard people posit a standard northeast one. Like a news reporter in New York probably sounds more like one in Ontario than one in, say, North Carolina.

Locally, of course, there are lots of variants. I’ve had my Montreal accent mistaken for a New York one, but that’s probably because I tend to put glides on vowels if I’m speaking casually, e.g. saying “toime” for “time.” Apparently this happens a bit more in Quebec English than Ontario English, so it’s not just me. It’s also a feature in New Jersey if “New Joisey” is anything to go by 🙂

The New England accent is a bit different, but as @Buttercup was saying, there’s more than one. My dad grew up in rural Maine, so if he’s tired he’ll drop Rs in words like barn (baahn) & pronounce the “h” in “wh” words (so “why” comes out like “hwy”).

francis
francis
14 days ago

first chip buttys are only suppased in yummynes by pizza. and secondly he should go for the Norflok accent which I love. one drawback it may be incomprehensible to Americans.

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ chris

it’s just been announced that Rush Limbaugh is dead.

And to think, he claimed to be pro-life.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
14 days ago

I hate baked beans. Although I’ve never had the English variety before, so maybe it’d be different. I only usually eat beans when they’re in Mexican or Americanized Mexican food. Particularly black beans. Yum.

Dalillama
14 days ago

The “neutral” American accent is one that nobody has ever spoken natively, but was developed by newscasters and other early broadcasters to be understandable to the maximum number of speakers. Even then, there’s an East Coast neutral, a Midwest neutral (the one most familiar to foreigners, I’m not sure why), and a West Coast Neutral. Oddly, these are among the few English-language accents that I can’t mimic almost perfectly after a little exposure to it. (Only accents of native speakers, though, which may account for my difficulty with the neutral ones; I can under no circumstances pass as someone for whome English is a second-nth language, not even French, despite my being fluent in Parisian and Quebecois French.)

@Masse_Mysteria

On a related note, I only recently noticed that once there’s more than five of something, I no longer can tell the amount at a glance

Neither can anyone else; I’ve actually seen some studies on that, and ot appears to be a hard limit in our neurology.

rusalka
rusalka
14 days ago

@ North Sea Sparkly Dragon

The first thing when I read his comment was: “Wait… won’t the real Brits be able to tell?”

I’m not a native english speaker so I’ve got no idea (despite being kinda fascinated by the global variation of the english language). But if someone from another region of my home country tries to copy my accent. I’ll notice. Unless you lived there forever and pick it up naturally as a means to communicate on eye level so to say…

And in any case, if those girls he’s “trying to pull” notice, I’m pretty sure he will come off as an asshat. What’s he gonna say when they ask where he’s from? Lie and possibly face followup questions that will out him?

I’m still not sure whether to be amused, confused or just revolted by how these guys come off as the cringiest people alive and then present ideas on how to get even cringier to a bunch of people on the internet.

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

@ masse mysteria & dali

appears to be a hard limit in our neurology.

It’s called subitizing.

That’s the ability to work out the number of things without actually counting. The two methods work differently in the brain.

Some non human animals can do it; and chimps and covids seem better at it than we are.

https://blogofthecosmos.com/2016/03/01/the-numerical-abilities-of-non-human-animals/

Steph
Steph
14 days ago

I just popped into say…baked beans on toast is AMAZING!

Chip butties on the other hand…just say no.

Steph
Steph
14 days ago

@Moggie

“ As for accents, there used to be ads on the London Underground from (if memory serves) Las Vegas, saying “come holiday where your accent is an aphrodisiac”. I think there ought to have been small print saying “unless you’re a Brummie”

Oi!