It’s tough, sometimes, to be an alpha male lady slayer. Especially in the age of COVID. Consider this unfortunate dude, who took his COVID-related dilemma to the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.
Anyway, you’ll be glad to know that he doesn’t have COVID himself (he gets regular tests for some reason).
You’ll also be just thrilled to know that he got some excellent advice from his Red-Pilled peers.
“Don’t talk to her for 2-3 weeks,” advises gcaa99. “Maybe call her next week just to ask if she’s alright and then continue your silence. And you’re getting oneitis, talk to other girls.”
“You are not her boyfriend,” added ClickKlakk. “Don’t pretend like you are. Minimal concern that is not prioritized over your own choice of dinner or need to do laundry.”
That’ll show the woman he actually likes a lot and whom he’s known for four years bitch who’s the real ALPHA DOG and who’s worth less than a load of dirty laundry.
Sadly, our hero also took his question to the Ask Men subreddit and it should probably be renamed Ask Beta Males because of the advice he got there which was not very Red Pilled at all.
A Redditor called Radiant_Ad_6190 suggested that OP wasn’t even asking the right question.
If you dig the girl and see her as a partner, maybe prioritise looking after her if she has covid instead of selfishly trying to maintain sexual tension?
Pretty sure she will be a combination of worried, run down and supporting her in some way by being thoughtful would go down well.
It’s 2 weeks get a grip, if the things die – you’ve got other problems.
Other Redditors suggested, among other things, that the OP drop off some soup or groceries or even flowers for his now-quarantined friend female thing. AND THEN THE OP SAID THAT HE WOULD DO JUST THAT, in clear contravention of the Red Pill Treaty of 2014
Well, he didn’t actually do that — according to a followup post a week or so later. But he did send her a nice text and offer to help if she needed anything. And now it looks like they will be going on another date after she gets out of quarantine.
He ends his followup post — it’s in the Ask the Red Pill subreddit — with a question:
So, the plan is to take her out, have a good tome and tell her something along the lines of
“Listen, when I hit you up and want to hang out, it’s not for any selfish reasons and to have sex. I’m into you.”
Would this be a good way to go about things?
Actually, no.
Honestly, as much as I hate the whole alpha/beta nonsense, that’s a little too much for me. Insofar as “beta” has any meaning, that’s beta. It isn’t “selfish” for him to want sex with her any more than it would be “selfish” for her to want sex with him. I mean, presumably she enjoyed herself the first time out which is why she’s going to be there for date number two.
Anyway, OP didn’t get many responses from the Red Pill gang to his question, probably because their heads exploded.
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Well, I’m glad he asked for and got advice elsewhere?
Even if he went back to the bad advice factory for the follow-up…
I’m really not sure whether to wish the kid luck, since he seems like he’s at least trying, or whether I hope he slips up like the dude in the previous post sooner, so that the lass in question doesn’t find out she’s wasted four months with a fool.
Like, his follow up post is exactly what he should be planning? Making sure himself and chick-he-digs can be friends and hang out even without sex or pressure, to better suss out what both of them want or need from their relationship? That’s a solid move.
I’m a little concerned he went back to the site with the bad advice to do the follow up though.
Probably a job thing.
Ah, but that would require caring about another person, which red pillers are incapable of.
Big Nice Guy™ energy here.
@Naglfar
… Darn it. You’re probably right, on account of TRP follow up. I’m just way too willing to believe people actually mean what they say, despite strong situational evidence to the contrary.
Whoops.
That’s a great plan. Have a good tome with you when you next see her. I suggest the Oxford English Dictionary; it has all the words you might need on a date.
@Kat
He must also remember not to read through it in order but to move around. It’s awkward to start a date talking about aardvarks and finish with a conversation about zyzzyvas.
Or he can just bring along a standard MGTOW rant. And a forklift.
@Naglfar
I agree. His first thought isn’t concern for her and the fact that she has a disease that could kill her, put her on a ventilator, and/or cause long-term health problems. It’s “How can I keep the sexytimes going for me?”
Even if she has a mild case, she’s going to be feeling pretty crummy for a few days and not in the mood for sexting.
@Buttercup
That, and also that he seems to view being “into her” as being the opposite of wanting to have sex, which sounds like something a Nice Guy™ would say.
I think it’s because nice guys see guys that just want to have causal sex with women as “bad guys” because nice guys think all women want to fall in love and get married and only have sex with men who they think want to give them those things. They don’t think a woman could possible just want causal sex with a guy she finds attractive.
@Elaine
He also might think that sex is inherently debasing to women and therefore think that a woman would only be having sex for the benefit of a man.
I’m sorry I missed that…. 🙂
I really wish more people took Red Pill with the same gravity and hostility as they did or do against Daesh.
I’m still stuck on why, during a pandemic people would be having sex with someone who’s not already a live in partner.
He can ask my mother for advice on how to let someone know they are worth less than a load of dirty laundry. Or how to show someone that their medical emergency is a terribly inconvenient thing to inflict on him, since that seems to be the gist of his issue.
How does one counter mra arguments from one’s partner? My boy is arguing that men are so discriminated against in custody cases (possibly only in the USA, which we are neither from, nor reside in (so I expect the argument to shift, if I argue just for one country). I can point to at least one thing from my country like 1% point within who fucking gives a shit about their kids, but that’s not “sjw” America, so I’m naturally wrong
@Sophiab
My advice is to kick his ass to the kerb, and that instantly.
If the OP had any clue whatsoever about some of the romantic fantasies women have, this could be the perfect opportunity to make her the star of her own hurt-comfort fic, with gifts of food, cozy comfort textiles, and get-well Valentines.
@WWTH
Probably your average red piller also thinks the pandemic isn’t real, or some other conspiracy belief. They’re not known for thinking logically.
@Sophiab
I’m with Dalillama here: leave him. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to talk him out of it and it’s likely he will become abusive if he isn’t already.
How even. How does a person learn their SO has a deadly illness, and their very first thoughts be “OMG they could literally die, I’m scared, what can I do to help them?”.
Like I know the theory involved, objectification and access and all that, but it’s still stunning to see how solipsistic it gets, even for the more ordinary creeps who aren’t on the road to outright terrorism.
@Sophiab:
“I’m breaking up with you” seems to be widely recommended as a universal counterargument to that nonsense. HTH.
Sophiab,
So, I think we established early on in this thread that my ace/aro self is excruciatingly bad at relationship advice, and is way too willing to give benefit of the doubt where it is not due.
That said, I’m kinda seeing some warning signs in your post. Namely:
1) They are not paying attention to relevant stats from where you live (I.e. the place where they could ACTUALLY DO THINGS to solve a problem if it was a problem) and is instead focusing on a completely different country. This means they can’t actually do anything AND they’re only getting second hand accounts, so they essentially are getting to sit there stewing on a thought experiment that just makes them angry.
2) It sounds like they’re dismissing / not paying attention to you.
Be careful, okay? Then getting angry over a situation that they have naught to do with and can do naught to affect makes me worry. Because anger like that can so easily be displaced to other situations and people, and you don’t deserve to have to deal with the emotional blow out.
I’m a USian, and I can admit that there are cases where men are physically abused and still lose custody of their kids. There are also cases where abusive fathers are given custody. It is really hard for courts to figure out who the parent who will do the least harm is, and they do screw up. And societal expectations do tend to bias folks expectations of who the best caregiver is in favor of the mother…
… and oddly enough, feminists tend to be the ones trying to prove fathers can actually be great caregivers. MRAs seem to not be interested in doing any of the legwork on that, and seem a lot more interested in yelling about how it is unfair than in unpacking WHY the biases might exist, and figuring out what we’d need to turn around to fix it.
Sorry, you knew that part. I’m going to pack up my soapbox and head to bed.
But be cautious, and be prepared to leave if this is a clear pattern of being dismissive towards you and angry at your worldview.
@Naglfar
Been there, done that. So embarrassing.
@ Sophiab the thing for me here is, that people can say stuff like this without being involved in mra stuff (by now their bullshit seems to seep into society). I’d argue to try and keep the conversation on a factual level. Which means looking up the actual numbers for your country as well as the US – if he’s so obsessed with that (although that seems like a strong hint he really did swallow the red pill, why does he care about another country?)
And maybe also ask why he cares so much about this one thing? I mean sure, ok. Let’s assume men regurlarly get treated unfairly in courts… (they’re not in my country – but let’s assume). How does he see the many, many examples of women being not only discriminated against on a societal level (work, health, religious or culturally, right over your own body, etc.) but also on a personal level by the individual men in their lives, e.g. through sexual and domestic violence? And I didn’t even mention the other side of the argument about custody: men refusing to take responsibility for their own children. I work in early education. The length to which some men go to make sure, that their own kids will suffer… let’s say it’s astounding.
It’s hard to convince people of something. Especially if the reason for them to believe it, lies somewhere else and not so much on hard evidence. But I think the answer to the questions above might give you some better insight into whether he’s ignorantly oversimplifying something for whatever reason or whether his views are toxic to the point of maybe questioning a future with this person.
@ Sophiab
The one thing that is consistent about MRAs is that they want men to have all the power in their (romantic and otherwise) relationships. If a man wants custody, he should get it; if a man doesn’t want custody or anything to do with his children, he should be able to “financially abort” the children and opt out of any kind of support. It burns their bottoms that sometimes men have to do things they don’t want to do, or don’t get everything they want.
It’s true that some courts in some jurisdictions still default to the mother as the primary caregiver. This is sexist, but not against men; it’s sexism against women. Women are viewed as having to put their kids first, while men are allowed to put other things first like their careers for instance. So it’s in the “best interest of the child” to place the child principally with the mother since she is the one required by society to sacrifice for her offspring. If MRAs don’t like this, they can fight the good feminist fight, but of course they don’t because they don’t actually care. What they care about is that a man doesn’t always get what he wants. They’re perfectly fine with women being required to care for children (preferably with no child support whatsoever) if that’s what the father wants, because men should always get what they want in the MRA worldview. That’s the only basis for MRA arguments. They don’t care about children, and they don’t care about fathers’ relationships with children, because the “financial abortion” plank of their agenda would leave children without any contact with or support from their fathers and MRAs would be perfectly happy with that so long as that’s what the man desires.
Seems peripherally pertinent to the discussion:
https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/11/we-are-desperate-for-human-contact-the-people-breaking-lockdown-to-have-sex
I’m impressed that The Grauniad, unlike every other British media outlet, managed to avoid the phrase ‘Bonking Ban’.
This Valentine’s day, US liberals will be like, “Please don’t touch or kiss or have sex with anyone unless you’re in a committed relationship”
And US conservatives will be like, “KILLJOYS CONTROL FREAKS WHY DO YOU HATE FREEDOM & FUN?”