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A Red Pill dilemma: The girl I just started seeing tested positive for COVID. How do I keep the sexual tension alive?

It’s tough, sometimes, to be an alpha male lady slayer. Especially in the age of COVID. Consider this unfortunate dude, who took his COVID-related dilemma to the Ask The Red Pill subreddit.

Girl I’ve recently started seeing just tested positive for COVID - how to go about on keeping the tension alive? (self.asktrp)

submitted 2 months ago by wwwdotredditdotcomm

I’ve known this girl for about 4 years, but never got sexual with her as her and I have been on/off seeing other people.

Opportunity knocked, I invited her out and We had sex last weekend and was suppose to hang this weekend.

She texted me Thursday saying she might have COVID and tested positive yesterday.

Unfortunately, she’s know going to quarantine for 2-3 weeks which kinda fucks up everything on keeping things sexual and meeting up.

There is just so much you can do over text

On a side note, from all the girls I’ve seen and hooked up with the last 4 years, I dig this girl and see her as a potential partner.

Anyway, what’s a good move here to kinda keep the sexual tension alive?

Anyway, you’ll be glad to know that he doesn’t have COVID himself (he gets regular tests for some reason).

You’ll also be just thrilled to know that he got some excellent advice from his Red-Pilled peers.

“Don’t talk to her for 2-3 weeks,” advises gcaa99. “Maybe call her next week just to ask if she’s alright and then continue your silence. And you’re getting oneitis, talk to other girls.”

“You are not her boyfriend,” added ClickKlakk. “Don’t pretend like you are. Minimal concern that is not prioritized over your own choice of dinner or need to do laundry.”

That’ll show the woman he actually likes a lot and whom he’s known for four years bitch who’s the real ALPHA DOG and who’s worth less than a load of dirty laundry.

Sadly, our hero also took his question to the Ask Men subreddit and it should probably be renamed Ask Beta Males because of the advice he got there which was not very Red Pilled at all.

A Redditor called Radiant_Ad_6190 suggested that OP wasn’t even asking the right question.

If you dig the girl and see her as a partner, maybe prioritise looking after her if she has covid instead of selfishly trying to maintain sexual tension?

Pretty sure she will be a combination of worried, run down and supporting her in some way by being thoughtful would go down well.

It’s 2 weeks get a grip, if the things die – you’ve got other problems.

Other Redditors suggested, among other things, that the OP drop off some soup or groceries or even flowers for his now-quarantined friend female thing. AND THEN THE OP SAID THAT HE WOULD DO JUST THAT, in clear contravention of the Red Pill Treaty of 2014

Well, he didn’t actually do that — according to a followup post a week or so later. But he did send her a nice text and offer to help if she needed anything. And now it looks like they will be going on another date after she gets out of quarantine.

He ends his followup post — it’s in the Ask the Red Pill subreddit — with a question:

So, the plan is to take her out, have a good tome and tell her something along the lines of

“Listen, when I hit you up and want to hang out, it’s not for any selfish reasons and to have sex. I’m into you.”

Would this be a good way to go about things?

Actually, no.

Honestly, as much as I hate the whole alpha/beta nonsense, that’s a little too much for me. Insofar as “beta” has any meaning, that’s beta. It isn’t “selfish” for him to want sex with her any more than it would be “selfish” for her to want sex with him. I mean, presumably she enjoyed herself the first time out which is why she’s going to be there for date number two.

Anyway, OP didn’t get many responses from the Red Pill gang to his question, probably because their heads exploded.

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contrapangloss
contrapangloss
16 days ago

Well, I’m glad he asked for and got advice elsewhere?

Even if he went back to the bad advice factory for the follow-up…

I’m really not sure whether to wish the kid luck, since he seems like he’s at least trying, or whether I hope he slips up like the dude in the previous post sooner, so that the lass in question doesn’t find out she’s wasted four months with a fool.

Like, his follow up post is exactly what he should be planning? Making sure himself and chick-he-digs can be friends and hang out even without sex or pressure, to better suss out what both of them want or need from their relationship? That’s a solid move.

I’m a little concerned he went back to the site with the bad advice to do the follow up though.

Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

he gets regular tests for some reason

Probably a job thing.

maybe prioritise looking after her

Ah, but that would require caring about another person, which red pillers are incapable of.

“Listen, when I hit you up and want to hang out, it’s not for any selfish reasons and to have sex. I’m into you.”

Big Nice Guy™ energy here.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
16 days ago

@Naglfar

Big Nice Guy™ energy here.

… Darn it. You’re probably right, on account of TRP follow up. I’m just way too willing to believe people actually mean what they say, despite strong situational evidence to the contrary.

Whoops.

Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
16 days ago

So, the plan is to take her out, have a good tome and tell her something along the lines of

“Listen, when I hit you up and want to hang out, it’s not for any selfish reasons and to have sex. I’m into you.”

That’s a great plan. Have a good tome with you when you next see her. I suggest the Oxford English Dictionary; it has all the words you might need on a date.

Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Kat
He must also remember not to read through it in order but to move around. It’s awkward to start a date talking about aardvarks and finish with a conversation about zyzzyvas.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
16 days ago

Or he can just bring along a standard MGTOW rant. And a forklift.

@Naglfar

Big Nice Guy™ energy here.

I agree. His first thought isn’t concern for her and the fact that she has a disease that could kill her, put her on a ventilator, and/or cause long-term health problems. It’s “How can I keep the sexytimes going for me?”

Even if she has a mild case, she’s going to be feeling pretty crummy for a few days and not in the mood for sexting.

Last edited 16 days ago by Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Buttercup
That, and also that he seems to view being “into her” as being the opposite of wanting to have sex, which sounds like something a Nice Guy™ would say.

Elaine The Witch
Elaine The Witch
15 days ago

I think it’s because nice guys see guys that just want to have causal sex with women as “bad guys” because nice guys think all women want to fall in love and get married and only have sex with men who they think want to give them those things. They don’t think a woman could possible just want causal sex with a guy she finds attractive.

Naglfar
Naglfar
15 days ago

@Elaine

They don’t think a woman could possible just want causal sex with a guy she finds attractive.

He also might think that sex is inherently debasing to women and therefore think that a woman would only be having sex for the benefit of a man.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
15 days ago

Anyway, OP didn’t get many responses from the Red Pill gang to his question, probably because their heads exploded.

I’m sorry I missed that…. 🙂

rv97
rv97
15 days ago

I really wish more people took Red Pill with the same gravity and hostility as they did or do against Daesh.

Last edited 15 days ago by rv97
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
15 days ago

I’m still stuck on why, during a pandemic people would be having sex with someone who’s not already a live in partner.

Allandrel
Allandrel
15 days ago

who’s worth less than a load of dirty laundry.

He can ask my mother for advice on how to let someone know they are worth less than a load of dirty laundry. Or how to show someone that their medical emergency is a terribly inconvenient thing to inflict on him, since that seems to be the gist of his issue.

Last edited 15 days ago by Allandrel
Sophiab
Sophiab
15 days ago

How does one counter mra arguments from one’s partner? My boy is arguing that men are so discriminated against in custody cases (possibly only in the USA, which we are neither from, nor reside in (so I expect the argument to shift, if I argue just for one country). I can point to at least one thing from my country like 1% point within who fucking gives a shit about their kids, but that’s not “sjw” America, so I’m naturally wrong

Dalillama
15 days ago

@Sophiab
My advice is to kick his ass to the kerb, and that instantly.

Full Metal Ox
15 days ago

If the OP had any clue whatsoever about some of the romantic fantasies women have, this could be the perfect opportunity to make her the star of her own hurt-comfort fic, with gifts of food, cozy comfort textiles, and get-well Valentines.

Naglfar
Naglfar
15 days ago

@WWTH

I’m still stuck on why, during a pandemic people would be having sex with someone who’s not already a live in partner.

Probably your average red piller also thinks the pandemic isn’t real, or some other conspiracy belief. They’re not known for thinking logically.

@Sophiab
I’m with Dalillama here: leave him. It’s unlikely you’ll be able to talk him out of it and it’s likely he will become abusive if he isn’t already.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
15 days ago

How even. How does a person learn their SO has a deadly illness, and their very first thoughts be “OMG they could literally die, I’m scared, what can I do to help them?”.

Like I know the theory involved, objectification and access and all that, but it’s still stunning to see how solipsistic it gets, even for the more ordinary creeps who aren’t on the road to outright terrorism.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
15 days ago

@Sophiab:

How does one counter mra arguments from one’s partner?

“I’m breaking up with you” seems to be widely recommended as a universal counterargument to that nonsense. HTH.

contrapangloss
contrapangloss
15 days ago

Sophiab,

So, I think we established early on in this thread that my ace/aro self is excruciatingly bad at relationship advice, and is way too willing to give benefit of the doubt where it is not due.

That said, I’m kinda seeing some warning signs in your post. Namely:

1) They are not paying attention to relevant stats from where you live (I.e. the place where they could ACTUALLY DO THINGS to solve a problem if it was a problem) and is instead focusing on a completely different country. This means they can’t actually do anything AND they’re only getting second hand accounts, so they essentially are getting to sit there stewing on a thought experiment that just makes them angry.

2) It sounds like they’re dismissing / not paying attention to you.

Be careful, okay? Then getting angry over a situation that they have naught to do with and can do naught to affect makes me worry. Because anger like that can so easily be displaced to other situations and people, and you don’t deserve to have to deal with the emotional blow out.

I’m a USian, and I can admit that there are cases where men are physically abused and still lose custody of their kids. There are also cases where abusive fathers are given custody. It is really hard for courts to figure out who the parent who will do the least harm is, and they do screw up. And societal expectations do tend to bias folks expectations of who the best caregiver is in favor of the mother…

… and oddly enough, feminists tend to be the ones trying to prove fathers can actually be great caregivers. MRAs seem to not be interested in doing any of the legwork on that, and seem a lot more interested in yelling about how it is unfair than in unpacking WHY the biases might exist, and figuring out what we’d need to turn around to fix it.

Sorry, you knew that part. I’m going to pack up my soapbox and head to bed.

But be cautious, and be prepared to leave if this is a clear pattern of being dismissive towards you and angry at your worldview.

Last edited 15 days ago by contrapangloss
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
15 days ago

@Naglfar

It’s awkward to start a date talking about aardvarks and finish with a conversation about zyzzyvas.

Been there, done that. So embarrassing.

rusalka
rusalka
15 days ago

@ Sophiab the thing for me here is, that people can say stuff like this without being involved in mra stuff (by now their bullshit seems to seep into society). I’d argue to try and keep the conversation on a factual level. Which means looking up the actual numbers for your country as well as the US – if he’s so obsessed with that (although that seems like a strong hint he really did swallow the red pill, why does he care about another country?)

And maybe also ask why he cares so much about this one thing? I mean sure, ok. Let’s assume men regurlarly get treated unfairly in courts… (they’re not in my country – but let’s assume). How does he see the many, many examples of women being not only discriminated against on a societal level (work, health, religious or culturally, right over your own body, etc.) but also on a personal level by the individual men in their lives, e.g. through sexual and domestic violence? And I didn’t even mention the other side of the argument about custody: men refusing to take responsibility for their own children. I work in early education. The length to which some men go to make sure, that their own kids will suffer… let’s say it’s astounding.

It’s hard to convince people of something. Especially if the reason for them to believe it, lies somewhere else and not so much on hard evidence. But I think the answer to the questions above might give you some better insight into whether he’s ignorantly oversimplifying something for whatever reason or whether his views are toxic to the point of maybe questioning a future with this person.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
15 days ago

@ Sophiab

The one thing that is consistent about MRAs is that they want men to have all the power in their (romantic and otherwise) relationships. If a man wants custody, he should get it; if a man doesn’t want custody or anything to do with his children, he should be able to “financially abort” the children and opt out of any kind of support. It burns their bottoms that sometimes men have to do things they don’t want to do, or don’t get everything they want.

It’s true that some courts in some jurisdictions still default to the mother as the primary caregiver. This is sexist, but not against men; it’s sexism against women. Women are viewed as having to put their kids first, while men are allowed to put other things first like their careers for instance. So it’s in the “best interest of the child” to place the child principally with the mother since she is the one required by society to sacrifice for her offspring. If MRAs don’t like this, they can fight the good feminist fight, but of course they don’t because they don’t actually care. What they care about is that a man doesn’t always get what he wants. They’re perfectly fine with women being required to care for children (preferably with no child support whatsoever) if that’s what the father wants, because men should always get what they want in the MRA worldview. That’s the only basis for MRA arguments. They don’t care about children, and they don’t care about fathers’ relationships with children, because the “financial abortion” plank of their agenda would leave children without any contact with or support from their fathers and MRAs would be perfectly happy with that so long as that’s what the man desires.

Alan Robertshaw
14 days ago

Seems peripherally pertinent to the discussion:

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/feb/11/we-are-desperate-for-human-contact-the-people-breaking-lockdown-to-have-sex

I’m impressed that The Grauniad, unlike every other British media outlet, managed to avoid the phrase ‘Bonking Ban’.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
14 days ago

This Valentine’s day, US liberals will be like, “Please don’t touch or kiss or have sex with anyone unless you’re in a committed relationship”

And US conservatives will be like, “KILLJOYS CONTROL FREAKS WHY DO YOU HATE FREEDOM & FUN?”

Last edited 14 days ago by Lumipuna
Karalora
Karalora
14 days ago

@Policy of Madness,

To your explanation I would add that when MRAs think men should get custody (if they want), it has nothing to do with affection for the kids and everything to do with those sweet sweet child support payments that they assume constitute a cash cow for single parents. (The fact that they would then be expected to spend that money on the care of the children, and it would probably not be anywhere near enough and certainly would not free them from the need to do hands-on childcare things always seems to escape them).

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
14 days ago

sometimes men have to do things they don’t want to do, or don’t get everything they want.

Then they get all up in their feelings, and do things like vote for trump….

Naglfar
Naglfar
14 days ago

@Karalora

everything to do with those sweet sweet child support payments

I think there’s also an element of property: they view children as the property of their parents and want to have that “property” for themselves. They don’t seem to realize that children aren’t miniature versions of their parents, nor that raising children requires effort on their part, as they seem to think that’s “women’s work” and therefore easy.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
14 days ago

Yeah, don’t forget these are the sorts of people who see their wives and children as status accoutrements. Their argument boils down to “I’ve lost one of my status thingies but I’ll be damned if I’m losing them all!” in motivation.

Sumi
Sumi
13 days ago

The problem is ONLY wanting a woman for sex. It’s not that hard to understand.

.45
.45
12 days ago

I don’t feel like only wanting a woman for sex is even the problem, as there are plenty of people out there who are really only interested in casual sex, but that the Red Pillers/Incels/MGTOWs/MRAs/etc hate women and yet want to bang them, have a problem with them having free agency, not being able to bang the ones they want to bang, etc, etc.

TLDR version: Wanting women only for sex is fine if you do so in good faith, hating women and bashing them in terms of sexuality, not so much.