Today, what may be the cringiest attempt to slide into some unfortunate woman’s DMs that I’ve ever seen.
The screenshot starts part way through a failed attempt at textual seduction with the anonymous smooth dude here trying to blast on past the first “no.” And then it just gets worse and worse.
Where to even start? Dude, she may actually be “tired of normal men” — I mean, we all are, right? — but I’m not sure that the solution is to act like the world’s biggest weirdo. Even if you can “turn around with the force of a thousand sons [sic].”
H/T — r/IncelTear
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The rp asterisk actions are the epitome of cringe. Like, it would have been bad enough as a rant but the ‘*actions*’ make it exponentially worse.
Was this written by a fedora that came to life? The overuse of *actions between asterisks*, corny pseudo-romantic actions that are creepy in context, and the Nice Guy™ snap at the end, and it just feels like all the tropes got thrown into a blender.
Was this 10 years ago?
is
this
real
wtf
(these days I generally ignore spelling/typo issues but I can’t help imagining a thousand sons lined up while someone tries to measure how much force is involved)
Wait. If he has a thousand sons that means he’s had sex at least a thousand times with hundreds of women. Would that mean he is Chad? Is he just trying to increase his army of sons?
Oh honey. No one is ever going to regret rejecting you.
Anyway, off topic, but I found the worst take on impeachment.
https://twitter.com/ggreenwald/status/1351641747718369284?s=20
A thousand angrey sons, actually.
I got whiplash going from confusion to sadly to angry in the space of three seconds, then him turning around with the force of a thousand…suns…like, a galaxy rotating really slowly over 200 million years or something?
Followed by “I’m a nice guy”, followed by a revenge fantasy and misogynistic insults. He seems mature and emotionally stable.
Why does he put his own dialogue in quotes?
OT: I’ve had the Wellerman song stuck in my head on a nonstop loop for three days. Someone please help.
Suddenly he’s An Grey? Who was he before? Oh right. Nice Guy.
This dude reminds me of this classic video
Well, I guess he could *technically* have had multiple twins or triplets with every sexual encounter he had resulting in pregnancy without complications. But if I wanted to stretch that much, and that impossibly I should try being a contotionist.
That said, I am sure this guy considers himself a poet or the next great literary genius.
@weirwoodtreehugger: Greenwald is to bad journalism takes what Domino’s is to pizza. “Narrative-pushing melodramatic idiocy in thirty minute or less!”
Huh. Didn’t know it were even possible to roll zero for Charisma.
OT: could someone who’s better at dealing with customer service type situations please assist me?
In the past few weeks two major websites have, in the course of violating the old adage “if it ain’t broke don’t fix it”, managed to break their drag-and-drop support for things presumably as an unintended side effect of tweaking some other thing.
First, Facebook’s little chat popups stopped responding correctly to dragged and dropped files (it’s supposed to share the files). This is on the desktop site. Other drag and drop at FB still works, e.g. “add picture” on an album. It’s still possible to share files by going to the dedicated Messenger page and dragging and dropping there, as well, but there you can only have one conversation displayed at a time, whereas with the popups you can have up to four, plus be browsing other Facebook material at the same time.
I used the built-in “report something broken” at FB weeks ago and haven’t heard anything since. Unusually, not even an automated acknowledgement in the “support inbox” saying they’re “looking into it”. The problem itself has gone unfixed now for that long.
Second, and more recently, about a week ago Google’s search-by-image stopped accepting drag and drop. The font sizes in the thing that drops down to accept files all changed and it no longer does anything with the file (network monitoring shows no significant upload activity and it never goes to a search results page, even if you let it sit for ten minutes after dropping a 20KB jpeg file on it). There is a thread at Google’s support forum about this:
https://support.google.com/websearch/thread/93783592?hl=en
with confirmation from a so-called “diamond product expert” that the problem exists and is at Google’s end and that it’s being looked into, which is more acknowledgement than Facebook gave in four or five times as long. On the other hand, that seems to be the end of it. The thread gets a new post every so often from yet another affected user, but no more official acknowledgement, and the problem has still not been fixed.
The especially silly thing here is that both fixes are probably two-minute jobs: a) go into version control, b) find the change that was made at the same time that people say something broke, and c) roll back that commit, then d) alert whoever made that commit so they can figure out a less buggy way to accomplish whatever they were trying to do.
What I’d like is for someone to suggest to me how to get these two problems the proper degree of attention from these two giant megacorps, so that those two problems no longer exist by the end of this week or so. I could post a nasty rant to the Google thread but I suspect that wouldn’t accomplish anything. I could send a second, duplicative problem report to FB via their report-a-problem tool but I doubt that would accomplish anything either. Neither the Google support page I linked to nor FB’s reporting tool seem to actually be connected to anything at the other end, such as actual product engineers, with the power to actually locate and fix bugs on the basis of bug reports from users. Instead it seems both are just “mufflers” that exist for customers to vent into ineffectually, that absorb anything put into them and do nothing, placed there to channel user problem reports and other user displeasure specifically to where it won’t bother the Important People(tm) who build, design, develop, and of course get rich off all this stuff.
So first of all I need to know how to bypass these dead-end channels and get a message posted somewhere it will actually cross the desk of someone who is actually empowered to actually investigate and debug and fix the actual code. And second, advice on how to be diplomatic, but also firm, with such a message. I don’t want to just piss them off, but neither do I want them thinking they can just ignore me or fob me off with excuses; they need to know that the only acceptable response from them is to actually make their bloody products work correctly again.
Or, I suppose, someone could send such a message for me. Indeed, these are two of the most widely used products in the world, so odds are other people here have been themselves impacted by these bugs.
That also does leave me thinking that there’s something wrong with the world when not one, but two of its most-used products can become partially broken because someone in the engineering department carelessly “fired from the hip” in making some change to it. Both products have literally billions of users, and someone just opens up one of the configuration files for major site functionality late on a Friday afternoon, bangs in a change they think might make it 2% more efficient or whatever, and then ambles off for the weekend without so much as loading their site’s front page up in a browser and testing that basic functions of it all still work … nevermind testing the change on a non-production machine first, or running it by a higher-up, or anything like that. On a product with billions of users.
It’s probably something as stupid as a misplaced dot or a missing semicolon. And millions of people can’t use either product properly for weeks because of it, and because the “customer support” seems to be set up more to keep customers from bothering them than to ensure they find out about things like this quickly when the trail hasn’t grown cold and it will be easy to find which recent change caused the problem and fix it.
This is another form of “too big to fail”. In the short term I need both companies’ engineers (not customer service lackeys) to know there are problems in need of fixing, and in the long term we all need antitrust with real teeth again, including a recognition that being big is a problem in and of itself, even without evidence of “abusing a market position”. Being big distorts markets inherently, as it creates monopoly power vs. customers and monopsony power vs. suppliers (ask book publishers how good Amazon has been to them sometime). And it also creates every engineer’s worst nightmare, single points of failure.
UwU
This reminds me of the time when I rewrote that stupid “I sexually identify as Attack Helicopter” copypasta (dumbest supervillain origin story ever!) to be about Nice Guys™, since it fits them so much better than transfolk:
@Battering Lamb
Without a doubt. I’m sure he also thinks he’s a philosopher.
If you wanted being a nice guy for one, stop basing your worth and that of others’ on industralist standards.
“You know what? I’m a nice guy.” You forgot the trademark.
So, Trump departed to the strains of “I did it my way”.
I seriously wonder if he had the Sid Vicious version in mind. The one where Sid shoots everyone at the end?
[Hats off the the AF1 pilot though for synching the take-off perfectly to the lyric.]
Every woman has met a “Nice Guy” who in a heartbeat turns vicious and threatening. And yet these guys keep wondering “Why don’t femoids trust “Nice Guys”?
And hint for online seducers: learn to spell. You are being judged by your words. Bad spelling screams “looser”. Add threats to that and you will never, ever get laid.
@Alan – Sinatra loathed Trump. He once had his manager tell Trump to go fuck himself. Republicans, tone deaf as always.
You can literally see this guy trying all the cheat codes. “Looks at you firmly. Bites lip. Holds out hand. Looks sad. Whirls around with the energy of 1000 male offspring. Up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A. WHY ISN’T THIS WORKING?”
The last move is always to throw the controller at the TV.
@weirwoodtreehugger
Fuck, Greenwald is just determined to make himself as irrelevant as possible, isn’t he? Did he ever have good takes, or was he just pissed at Obama at the same time as the Left?
I’ve got a meeting starting shortly, so would people be kind enough to just assume I posted this at Noon.
I just lit a candle in an ice lantern on my balcony, mainly for personal decoration reasons, but also to accompany the tiny violins for the end of an American political era.
It’s about 7pm here, long past dark, and the most beautiful fluffy-snowy winter weather. Lately it’s been actually cold enough for making ice lanterns, unlike the entire last winter. However, this weekend it might all turn into mushy slush. Better use the lantern now, before it melts.