Men who retain their semen think that the practice gives them almost magical powers — increased energy, concentration, and charisma, to name just a few of the things these guys think they get from simply not jerking off for a month or two. The Semen Retention subreddit is filled with testimonies from guys claiming that their non-masturbation hobby has made them superior men.
There’s just one little problem: there’s no real scientific evidence proving any of these claims; the results that dedicated semen retainers supposedly get could all be the result of the placebo effect — or just plain delusion.
One semen-retaining Redditor thinks there’s a more sinister reason there’s no research: it’s because scientists know that the semen retainers’ results are real — but they don’t want to report that because they know it will make women mad.
“I BELIVE,” Sopranoo8 begins,
that the scientific community is walking away from this field, SR, due its effect on women being single and lacking the control over men whose on SR.
When a man is on SR his mind and goal is clear, and no women will change or affect that fact, and this make them scared of the BEAST that he became, he is so dedicated to achieving that goal.
I guess SR can fix almost everything except basic spelling and grammar.
Women will lose the power to seduce a man as they used to. This will result in a relationship where the man is dominant in that relationship, and [women] do not like that.
They will not do research on this field because they are afraid that they will attract more men to SR, where they will be so powerful that most women CANNOT compete with them in the labor market and they will not have the power to CONTROL them as they do now to most men.
Uh oh.
When a man is on SR he will not be wasting his time chasing women, NO he will be dedicating his time and effort to achieve high paying jobs living the life he wish to live.
This will result to a labor market that is dominant by men as it used to be, and men will be in control again, but they don’t want that!
Men will be the MASTERS of skills; they will be more powerful than women. This how men are made, they are so powerful that LUSTS have no control on their decisions.
Pretending you have control over your LUSTS isn’t the same thing as being without them.
I know that certain people hate seeing you succeed, they will tell you to stop trying so hard and $hit like that, don’t mind them. Losers will be losers and they want to drag you down the pit with them.
Brothers, we are now facing a very strong storm of lusts. Only strong men will stand to fight and overcome this storm. The weak who is a slave of his lusts who quit his principles, beware you will be taken down by that storm.
He might be onto something here. If you don’t ejaculate for a month and then give in to your desire to crank your hog you could very well find yourself facing a veritable tidal wave of semen.
Yes, I know it doesn’t quite work like that, but please allow me my little joke; I’ve just spent an hour going through the goddamn Semen Retention subreddit for you people for Christ’s sake.
Follow me on Mastodon.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies on support from you, its readers, to survive. So please donate here if you can, or at David-Futrelle-1 on Venmo.
Slightly OT: I have never had much romantic success, and always thought it was because women were never interested in me (though I did not respond to this with hatred as incels do).
I recently reconnected with several women that I had gone to school with, and it turns out that no, women were interested in me, I am just an idiot.
Her: I had such a crush on you in school.
Me: What? I would totally have gone out with you. Why didn’t you say something?
Her: I flirted with you constantly.
Me: Okay, you have to understand that I am very oblivious. You basically would have had to climb onto my lap.
Her: I did that twice!
@allandrel
Freshmen year of college there was a girl in my dorms i thought was gorgeous. I thought she was straight or not interested in me. This girl walked into my room bare ass naked and would be in the most revleaing outfits she could and i never caught on that she was trying to seduce me until she got a girlfriend because she thought me not doing anything with her very obvious invitation meant i wasn’t interest in her. I’m so God damn stupid
They’re welcome to keep their semen.
@Allandrel and Lainy
Okay, I’ll try to top you. My current wife offered me a rose on Valentine’s Day to invite me to start dating her. I thought she was just showing off a rose and it was all a joke. Later that day, her and her brother, who was a friend of mine, explained to me that the rose was indeed intended for me, but I thought it was only a corny friendship gesture. She had to come back, a third time, and tell me that she did offered me a rose on kicking Valentine’s Day because she wanted to date me. I said yes. Best decision of my life, but I think she was about to hit with a shovel at that point.
The scientific community, known for not being mostly men and never misogynistic.
Wait, but I thought women were vampires taking men’s energy or something. Now we have no effect? Darn.
Instead presumably he’ll be wasting his time on Reddit ranting about how awful women are.
Because no man has ever made bad decisions in order to have sex, no not at all.
So close, and yet…
Why, are women getting hotter?
@Allandrel
Mood. I’ve had very similar experiences, including both failing to recognize interest and also recognizing it but being too nervous to act.
It’s kind of funny how these guys say these things like “not flapping will make women want you more. it will give you magical powers. it will make you more focus. it will make you sucessfull. it will give you all the things you want in life” and then these guys can only focus on the state of their owns balls and remain without all the things they want in life but now they just have self induced blue balls to go on top of it.
Y’all, I’m going to have to get a divorce. My husband just told me he doesn’t like girl scout cookies.
@Lainy
Not even the peanut butter ones?
@Naglfar
None. He says their cheap and dry and that he hates all of them.
Well speaking as a man, it is difficult to fathom how not … “releasing” … in this fashion would make it _harder_ to seduce me. Have they not seen the excellent documentary “There’s Something About Mary”? 😉
SR enthusiasts remind me of the Kids in the Hall sketch about a support group for people who “are not going to be tyrannized by [their] bladders.”
Hmm, tough call. Having the, um, extra semen to get a high paying job and achieve all my goals does sound good, that whole storm of lust thing also sounds quite good. I guess I’ll have to pick the one that doesn’t leave me constantly frustrated, and also doesn’t make me go on Reddit. Sorry SR guys.
@ Lainy
“He says their cheap and dry and that he hates all of them.”
Welllll, now that you mention it… He gotz a point. I do not hate them, but I fail to see how they compare favorably to any homemade cookies. Maybe this is because we are not SRing?
@.45
You can dunk them in a cup of tea! or a hot choclate! or just like warm milk if that’s your thing. A hot cup coffee! those types of cookies are made to be enjoyed with drinks!
I can only accept this because i know the amount of monster this man drinks has probably murdered his taste buds and the amount he smokes cremated them. But girl scout cookies are like a tea drinkers perfect cookie in a way a homeade chocolate chip or no bake will never be. You enjoy those with cold milk. But they can’t be enjoyed with tea!
To avoid TMFI? These guys are either somehow managing to Do It Wrong, or…well, just don’t have libidos and don’t know how to handle their lack thereof. I blame inadequate sex-ed.
@Naglfar
Yes, but those were weak, non-SR men! /s
@David F.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/veritable
Webster’s allows it. Therefore I’m gonna allow it.
@ all the people who shared dating stories
Hahaha thank you so much! It makes me feel better about the time a dude asked me if I had dinner yet and, silly me, I thought he was just interested in my hunger status so I said happily, “Yep!” Or the time I got asked out by the bank guard but didn’t realise it until I got all the way to my car and thought he had said something else, so I turned him down with a crushingly rude and inappropriate, “Not today, thank you,” and then could never ever go back to that branch again as long as I lived there.
Re: Dating Stories – I’m so oblivious that when my wife asked me out she literally said “I’m going to be at this place, at this time, on this date, and I think you should meet me there” and I still didn’t end up realizing she was interested in dating me… took me another whole month before I actually asked her out when I realized that fact.
I’d already decided that direct statement>than flirtation, because if the recipient notices the flirtation but isn’t interested, the lack of a direct question denies them an opportunity to respond with a clear “no thanks.”
I’m also seeing now that it’s just as bad if the recipient *is* interested, because chances are they’ll fail to notice your signals (or they will notice, but think it’s just wishful thinking on their part).
(I continue to wonder how anybody ever manages to get together)
I have heard that if you have a poor diet and you go to extremes, like multiple times per day every day, you can become zinc deficient. On the other hand, given the misinformation spread about sex over the centuries, I’d want to see a peer reviewed study.
Surely SR makes no sense from an evolutionary viewpoint? If hoarding your LIQUID FUCKING GOLD gave you superpowers, most guys would do it, and then how is babby formed?
@Moggie : what is the pressure against SR giving super powers ? The guys with that characteristic can live normally and have children just as well as the other, so they would not particulary die off.
By comparison, having children for a woman was a reasonably big health risk for most of human history. Natural evolution didn’t make women infertile tho, and didn’t reduce the size of babies either (which would reduce the health risk, but probably be more problematic on a lot of other point).
Sex act who involve men but no ejaculation would probably be more diverse if SR was a thing, but that’s a pretty long winded prediction.
@Ohlmann
I think a while ago when we had a SR troll come through, someone came up with some predictions about how humans would have evolved differently if semen retention were beneficial. Stuff like larger prostates, for example, or that presumably nocturnal ejaculation wouldn’t happen.
Scientists, so notorious for walking away from entire fields of study because they’re just too powerful and dangerous (see: gunpowder, biowarfare, the hydrogen bomb, etc.)