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“Is there a point in hanging out with plates if you are not going to smash them?” and other crockery-related queries from the Ask the Red Pill subreddit

Red Piller spinning a plate

Of all the ridiculous bits of red pill jargon that litter the conversations wherever red pillers gather to talk, probably the most ridiculous is the term “plate” — used to mean a woman you’re regularly fucking in some sort of Friends With Benefits kind of way.

The idea, as Red Pillers see things, is to always maintain your own personal harem of sorts — to keep “spinning” multiple ” plates” at the same time — to give yourself more options than if you were “spinning” just one.

But the term is so ridiculous and dehumanizing it’s difficult for me to read it without thinking of literal plates — the crockery we eat off of. It’s especially hard not to do this when the Red Pillers are earnestly talking about “breaking” or “smashing” their plates.

I’ve collected together an assortment of headlines to illustrate just how hard it is not to think of real plates whenever the Red Pillers start talking about the metaphoric ones.

Is there a point in hanging out with plates if you are not going to smash them?

Well sure, if you’re hungry.

Fun stuff you can do with plates before you smash?

I dunno. You could maybe arrange your food into the shape of a smiley face?

How to break a plate without feeling bad?

Maybe pick one that already has a little crack in it?

Can’t sleep with plates in the bed. How to get over this?

Dude, the bed is probably the absolute worst place to store your plates. You’ll probably just roll over and break them. Put them in a kitchen cabinet or something.

If you are great at sex, are plates less likely to break?

Nah, dude. If you’re great at sex you’re probably more likely to break plates and crockery of all types. Yet another reason to keep them stored in the kitchen instead of the bed.

How to Convert Model I Met Into Plate?

WTF? What’s up with this creepy Island of Dr. Moreau shit?

How long did it take you to go from average to hot plates?

Dude, if you need a hot plate, you can just order one from Target.

Are you her plate, or is she your plate?

I do not know whether I am a man dreaming I am a plate, or whether I am a plate, dreaming I am a man.

Anyone else sometimes fed up with spinning plates? All 3 of my plates broke in same month.

Practice more, dude. Like juggling or hula-hooping, plate spinning is a skill you can only learn by doing it.

How long does your average plate last?

If you’re careful not to drop it, probably a lifetime.

what if you have one plate

Sounds like you need to take a trip over to Wayfair, where you’ll find an assortment of dinnerware sets on sale.

For more plate-related hilarity, check this out. (Yes, I basically wrote this one twice without realizing it until after I was done.)

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SpecialFrog
SpecialFrog
1 month ago

I find I break way more bowls than plates.

rabid rabbit
rabid rabbit
1 month ago

Do I want to know what they actually mean by “breaking” or “smashing” them?

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

I’d suggest if they want to spin plates to use plastic ones, they’re much more durable if they fall than ceramics.

How to Convert Model I Met Into Plate?

Well, there are a number of companies that sell custom printed plates. Just upload a picture. Still creepy if you don’t know the person and don’t have their permission, though.

If you are great at sex, are plates less likely to break?

I don’t really think any Red Pillers need to know the answer to this one with any meaning of “plate,” as no Red Piller is great at sex.

Can’t sleep with plates in the bed

I would imagine this might be the case. All my plates are hard and uncomfortable to sleep on.

@Rabid Rabbit

In case you do want to know what breaking or smashing mean

I’m pretty certain “breaking” means breaking up with or ending the relationship, and “smashing” probably means having sex. Not certain, though, so if anyone knows better please correct me.

Last edited 1 month ago by Naglfar
.45
.45
1 month ago

“How long does your average plate last?”

Well, I’m kind of clumsy. Once I smashed one of my Aunt’s plates with a stick… oooooooo, that sounded all kinds of dirty.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@.45
I haven’t smashed plates with sticks, but I find my plates often get very wet.

Last edited 1 month ago by Naglfar
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
1 month ago

Are you her plate, or is she your plate?

Dude, don’t be ridiculous. Thanks to the glorious patriarchy, you are her sex god and she is your sex object.

How long does your average plate last?

My average plate? I wash and dry mine with care. Some have lasted for decades.

Oh, I see — you mean how long does the average relationship between a RedPill guy and a woman who has sex with him last. Divide by zero.

rzs
rzs
1 month ago

Random tweet about an incel “drafting” behind a friendly Chad that made me laugh: here.

Last edited 1 month ago by rzs
Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 month ago

This is just my guess, but

“Break a plate” = accidentally drop something you’re juggling = a casual girlfriend leaves you, possibly after finding out you have other women and/or you’re not actually seeking a serious relationship.

“Smash a plate” = whimsically throw away something you’re juggling = you leave a casual girlfriend, then make it sound edgy and dehumanizing, suggesting you can afford to treat your women a disposable.

My impression is that the whole “plate” metaphor must have started from the idea of juggling several somethings at the same time. Not necessarily glorifying outright cheating or polyamory, but suggesting you shouldn’t restrict your dating life just to avoid offending some FWB or not-yet-girlfriend. Also, inflating your alpha stud status by counting every FWB and not-yet-girlfriend in your current game situation.

epitome of incomrepehensibility

For more plate-related hilarity, check this out. (Yes, I basically wrote this one twice without realizing it until after I was done.)

No problems there! Both made me laugh.

If you take them out of context, some of the sentences are downright surreal. “If you are great at sex, are plates less likely to break?” It’s like asking, “If you’re good at math, is it less likely to rain?”

Nick
Nick
1 month ago

Just chiming it to say well done. I’m usually more mad than amused here, but man. L. O. L.

SpecialFFrog
SpecialFFrog
1 month ago

@Lumipuna: In other contexts ‘smash’ means ‘have sex’ so I’d guess that is the intended meaning here.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
1 month ago

OT:

Just got back from the doc – had to have a check-up to see how yon stomach growth is progressing.
It’s shrinking. On it’s own. Missus is taking the credit for it, and I’m fine with that. 🙂

Luzbelitx
1 month ago

I did break a few glass plates for being silly and using them to store food on the fridge then puting them into the microwave (yes, it happened more than once).

But what really gets me is cups and glasses, I seem to be unable to not drop and break them. So I finally settled for plastic glasses and being very, very careful with cups.

I also worked on improving at sex, which I’ve always been awesome to begin with. Doesn’t seem to make a difference for plates.

Last edited 1 month ago by Luzbelitx
Lainy
Lainy
1 month ago

What the fuck is this guy talking about?

Lizzie
Lizzie
1 month ago

More power to your missus then, Threp, and a good result for you!

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
1 month ago

@Lubelitx

break a few glass plates […] using them to store food on the fridge then puting them into the microwave

Wait what? Pyrex glass can go straight from fridge to microwave without any issue at all, I do it all the time. It can go straight from fridge to the oven, that’s how you chill piecrust before blind baking.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Big Titty Demon

Pyrex glass can go straight from fridge to microwave without any issue at all

Some of it can, depends on what year as the recipe has changed from year to year. Interesting but OT fact: one such recipe change in the 1980s led to a rise in the price of crack cocaine because the newer formulation couldn’t handle the rapid temperature changes used in the process of cooking the drug, so instead of being able to use standard measuring cups dealers had to find lab grade equipment which was harder to come by.

Last edited 1 month ago by Naglfar
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
1 month ago

Smashing plates used to be a Greek wedding custom (not sure if it still is). I imagine there would be some hilarious potential for confusion if a Redpiller married a traditional Greek woman and was told to smash his plate during the ceremony.

(Not that any woman should ever be saddled for life with a Redpiller)

@Naglfar – Interesting! That reminds me of when McDonald’s had to redesign their spoon-shaped coffee stirrers because people were using them to snort coke and PCP.

Mrs Morley
Mrs Morley
1 month ago

A zillion years ago my lights went out and my super wouldn’t fix them and the fuse box wasn’t accessible and I was livid. I went to my girlfriend’s house and she asked what would help. So I said “Breaking something.” She gave me a stack of plates she hated. I threw them out the window.

Ever since I’ve thought of smashing plates as brilliant.

Surplus to Requirements
Surplus to Requirements
1 month ago

A couple of food-for-thought links.

Trump may be on the way out, but Trumpism poses an ongoing threat:

https://www.salon.com/2020/12/02/historian-ruth-ben-ghiat-trumps-coup-is-not-over-his-enablers-arent-done/

Racism drives authoritarianism:

https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2020/08/26/2007747117

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Buttercup

Smashing plates used to be a Greek wedding custom

I wonder if that’s at all related to the Jewish custom of breaking a drinking glass.

.45
.45
1 month ago

@Surplus

Every time I read more about the whole “Stop the Steal” BS I get more and more worried. I mean, the Trumpers are basically turning on anyone that disagrees with Trump’s Tweets, such as Barr. It’s like they are intentionally stirring the pot to see if there is enough in it to start a coup, or another Civil War even.

What am I saying? It’s like? No, it is.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@.45
At this point I think Trump is running out of road, so I’m less concerned about him and more concerned about the aftermath. 2 things I worry about as a result are:
1. The GOP in 2024: The GOP has been building up to full-blown fascism for decades. Trump wasn’t able to establish the dictatorship they wanted because he was very incompetent, but they’re not going to give up. In 2024 they could run a more competent fascist and do what Trump couldn’t.
2. Vigilante violence: Once Trump is removed from office in January I expect a significant number of his fans will snap and engage in terrorism. Even once Joe Biden takes office they will think Trump is the legitimate president and that the election was stolen from them, and go kill anyone whom they perceive as responsible for it. It won’t be a civil war because MAGAs are terrible at organizing, but there will likely be some individuals or groups performing terrorism.

.45
.45
1 month ago

@Naglfar

I an hopeful that number one there will sort of fade away over the next four years, the Overton Window shift to the left a bit… well, I CAN hope for it anyway.

As for two… yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. My sister and I discussed it quite a bit not too long ago. She is particularly concerned about the week or so after Biden officially takes office, but I am worried that there could still be more long term issues. I feel like she, my sister, could be in more danger than I. She is pretty blatant about being, well, I’m not sure of the exact label (not sure she is either), but dating a woman and having brightly dyed hair makes her stand out, and not in a good way when we consider potential targets for angry Trump fans.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
1 month ago

Given that the Trumpers are pinning their accusations of election fraud on China, I’m concerned there’s going to be a big increase of hate crimes against Americans of Chinese descent, or East Asian descent in general because since when do bigots care if they’re accurate in their hate targeting (for example Sikhs being targeted in anti-Muslim hate crimes).

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

I’m also a bit worried about antisemitic hate crimes, given that earlier today Rudy Giuliani shared a conspiracy theory about George Soros and implicated Jews more broadly.

Luzbelitx
1 month ago

@Big Titty Demon & Naglfar

I guess I got a bad harvest then :/

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
1 month ago

I wonder if these people ever get so engrossed in this lingo that they are confused by regular conversations about tableware.

On a related note, I broke a plate this morning and now I’m wondering how this whole plate jargon handles a situation where plates have been in use for decades before they’re handed on to me. Are they my plates or am I their plate if they’re just piggybacking to get to their next owner?

Alan Robertshaw
1 month ago

I did New Years once at a Greek place and they did all the plate smashing. I thought it was a bit of a waste. But the bloke showed me the boxes of special plates they use just for that. They’re designed to break but not leave razor sharp shards everywhere.

As to the origin, one suggestion is that it’s a display of conspicuous wealth. Like how rich folks in medieval times would just throw used plates into the fire.

The more commonly accepted explanation is that it originated with the funery practice of breaking urns; and that somehow got transferred to weddings and other celebrations. The idea being that evil spirits will not realise it’s a happy occasion and thus not try to spoil it.