Of all the ridiculous bits of red pill jargon that litter the conversations wherever red pillers gather to talk, probably the most ridiculous is the term “plate” — used to mean a woman you’re regularly fucking in some sort of Friends With Benefits kind of way.
The idea, as Red Pillers see things, is to always maintain your own personal harem of sorts — to keep “spinning” multiple ” plates” at the same time — to give yourself more options than if you were “spinning” just one.
But the term is so ridiculous and dehumanizing it’s difficult for me to read it without thinking of literal plates — the crockery we eat off of. It’s especially hard not to do this when the Red Pillers are earnestly talking about “breaking” or “smashing” their plates.
I’ve collected together an assortment of headlines to illustrate just how hard it is not to think of real plates whenever the Red Pillers start talking about the metaphoric ones.
Well sure, if you’re hungry.
I dunno. You could maybe arrange your food into the shape of a smiley face?
Maybe pick one that already has a little crack in it?
Dude, the bed is probably the absolute worst place to store your plates. You’ll probably just roll over and break them. Put them in a kitchen cabinet or something.
Nah, dude. If you’re great at sex you’re probably more likely to break plates and crockery of all types. Yet another reason to keep them stored in the kitchen instead of the bed.
WTF? What’s up with this creepy Island of Dr. Moreau shit?
Dude, if you need a hot plate, you can just order one from Target.
I do not know whether I am a man dreaming I am a plate, or whether I am a plate, dreaming I am a man.
Practice more, dude. Like juggling or hula-hooping, plate spinning is a skill you can only learn by doing it.
If you’re careful not to drop it, probably a lifetime.
Sounds like you need to take a trip over to Wayfair, where you’ll find an assortment of dinnerware sets on sale.
For more plate-related hilarity, check this out. (Yes, I basically wrote this one twice without realizing it until after I was done.)
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I find I break way more bowls than plates.
Do I want to know what they actually mean by “breaking” or “smashing” them?
I’d suggest if they want to spin plates to use plastic ones, they’re much more durable if they fall than ceramics.
Well, there are a number of companies that sell custom printed plates. Just upload a picture. Still creepy if you don’t know the person and don’t have their permission, though.
I don’t really think any Red Pillers need to know the answer to this one with any meaning of “plate,” as no Red Piller is great at sex.
I would imagine this might be the case. All my plates are hard and uncomfortable to sleep on.
@Rabid Rabbit
I’m pretty certain “breaking” means breaking up with or ending the relationship, and “smashing” probably means having sex. Not certain, though, so if anyone knows better please correct me.
“How long does your average plate last?”
Well, I’m kind of clumsy. Once I smashed one of my Aunt’s plates with a stick… oooooooo, that sounded all kinds of dirty.
@.45
I haven’t smashed plates with sticks, but I find my plates often get very wet.
Dude, don’t be ridiculous. Thanks to the glorious patriarchy, you are her sex god and she is your sex object.
My average plate? I wash and dry mine with care. Some have lasted for decades.
Oh, I see — you mean how long does the average relationship between a RedPill guy and a woman who has sex with him last. Divide by zero.
Random tweet about an incel “drafting” behind a friendly Chad that made me laugh: here.
This is just my guess, but
“Break a plate” = accidentally drop something you’re juggling = a casual girlfriend leaves you, possibly after finding out you have other women and/or you’re not actually seeking a serious relationship.
“Smash a plate” = whimsically throw away something you’re juggling = you leave a casual girlfriend, then make it sound edgy and dehumanizing, suggesting you can afford to treat your women a disposable.
My impression is that the whole “plate” metaphor must have started from the idea of juggling several somethings at the same time. Not necessarily glorifying outright cheating or polyamory, but suggesting you shouldn’t restrict your dating life just to avoid offending some FWB or not-yet-girlfriend. Also, inflating your alpha stud status by counting every FWB and not-yet-girlfriend in your current game situation.
No problems there! Both made me laugh.
If you take them out of context, some of the sentences are downright surreal. “If you are great at sex, are plates less likely to break?” It’s like asking, “If you’re good at math, is it less likely to rain?”
Just chiming it to say well done. I’m usually more mad than amused here, but man. L. O. L.
@Lumipuna: In other contexts ‘smash’ means ‘have sex’ so I’d guess that is the intended meaning here.
OT:
Just got back from the doc – had to have a check-up to see how yon stomach growth is progressing.
It’s shrinking. On it’s own. Missus is taking the credit for it, and I’m fine with that. 🙂
I did break a few glass plates for being silly and using them to store food on the fridge then puting them into the microwave (yes, it happened more than once).
But what really gets me is cups and glasses, I seem to be unable to not drop and break them. So I finally settled for plastic glasses and being very, very careful with cups.
I also worked on improving at sex, which I’ve always been awesome to begin with. Doesn’t seem to make a difference for plates.
What the fuck is this guy talking about?
More power to your missus then, Threp, and a good result for you!
@Lubelitx
Wait what? Pyrex glass can go straight from fridge to microwave without any issue at all, I do it all the time. It can go straight from fridge to the oven, that’s how you chill piecrust before blind baking.
@Big Titty Demon
Some of it can, depends on what year as the recipe has changed from year to year. Interesting but OT fact: one such recipe change in the 1980s led to a rise in the price of crack cocaine because the newer formulation couldn’t handle the rapid temperature changes used in the process of cooking the drug, so instead of being able to use standard measuring cups dealers had to find lab grade equipment which was harder to come by.
Smashing plates used to be a Greek wedding custom (not sure if it still is). I imagine there would be some hilarious potential for confusion if a Redpiller married a traditional Greek woman and was told to smash his plate during the ceremony.
(Not that any woman should ever be saddled for life with a Redpiller)
@Naglfar – Interesting! That reminds me of when McDonald’s had to redesign their spoon-shaped coffee stirrers because people were using them to snort coke and PCP.
A zillion years ago my lights went out and my super wouldn’t fix them and the fuse box wasn’t accessible and I was livid. I went to my girlfriend’s house and she asked what would help. So I said “Breaking something.” She gave me a stack of plates she hated. I threw them out the window.
Ever since I’ve thought of smashing plates as brilliant.
A couple of food-for-thought links.
Trump may be on the way out, but Trumpism poses an ongoing threat:
https://www.salon.com/2020/12/02/historian-ruth-ben-ghiat-trumps-coup-is-not-over-his-enablers-arent-done/
Racism drives authoritarianism:
https://www.pnas.org/content/early/2020/08/26/2007747117
@Buttercup
I wonder if that’s at all related to the Jewish custom of breaking a drinking glass.
@Surplus
Every time I read more about the whole “Stop the Steal” BS I get more and more worried. I mean, the Trumpers are basically turning on anyone that disagrees with Trump’s Tweets, such as Barr. It’s like they are intentionally stirring the pot to see if there is enough in it to start a coup, or another Civil War even.
What am I saying? It’s like? No, it is.
@.45
At this point I think Trump is running out of road, so I’m less concerned about him and more concerned about the aftermath. 2 things I worry about as a result are:
1. The GOP in 2024: The GOP has been building up to full-blown fascism for decades. Trump wasn’t able to establish the dictatorship they wanted because he was very incompetent, but they’re not going to give up. In 2024 they could run a more competent fascist and do what Trump couldn’t.
2. Vigilante violence: Once Trump is removed from office in January I expect a significant number of his fans will snap and engage in terrorism. Even once Joe Biden takes office they will think Trump is the legitimate president and that the election was stolen from them, and go kill anyone whom they perceive as responsible for it. It won’t be a civil war because MAGAs are terrible at organizing, but there will likely be some individuals or groups performing terrorism.
@Naglfar
I an hopeful that number one there will sort of fade away over the next four years, the Overton Window shift to the left a bit… well, I CAN hope for it anyway.
As for two… yeah, I’ve been thinking about that too. My sister and I discussed it quite a bit not too long ago. She is particularly concerned about the week or so after Biden officially takes office, but I am worried that there could still be more long term issues. I feel like she, my sister, could be in more danger than I. She is pretty blatant about being, well, I’m not sure of the exact label (not sure she is either), but dating a woman and having brightly dyed hair makes her stand out, and not in a good way when we consider potential targets for angry Trump fans.
Given that the Trumpers are pinning their accusations of election fraud on China, I’m concerned there’s going to be a big increase of hate crimes against Americans of Chinese descent, or East Asian descent in general because since when do bigots care if they’re accurate in their hate targeting (for example Sikhs being targeted in anti-Muslim hate crimes).