Of all the ridiculous bits of red pill jargon that litter the conversations wherever red pillers gather to talk, probably the most ridiculous is the term “plate” — used to mean a woman you’re regularly fucking in some sort of Friends With Benefits kind of way.
The idea, as Red Pillers see things, is to always maintain your own personal harem of sorts — to keep “spinning” multiple ” plates” at the same time — to give yourself more options than if you were “spinning” just one.
But the term is so ridiculous and dehumanizing it’s difficult for me to read it without thinking of literal plates — the crockery we eat off of. It’s especially hard not to do this when the Red Pillers are earnestly talking about “breaking” or “smashing” their plates.
I’ve collected together an assortment of headlines to illustrate just how hard it is not to think of real plates whenever the Red Pillers start talking about the metaphoric ones.
Well sure, if you’re hungry.
I dunno. You could maybe arrange your food into the shape of a smiley face?
Maybe pick one that already has a little crack in it?
Dude, the bed is probably the absolute worst place to store your plates. You’ll probably just roll over and break them. Put them in a kitchen cabinet or something.
Nah, dude. If you’re great at sex you’re probably more likely to break plates and crockery of all types. Yet another reason to keep them stored in the kitchen instead of the bed.
WTF? What’s up with this creepy Island of Dr. Moreau shit?
Dude, if you need a hot plate, you can just order one from Target.
I do not know whether I am a man dreaming I am a plate, or whether I am a plate, dreaming I am a man.
Practice more, dude. Like juggling or hula-hooping, plate spinning is a skill you can only learn by doing it.
If you’re careful not to drop it, probably a lifetime.
Sounds like you need to take a trip over to Wayfair, where you’ll find an assortment of dinnerware sets on sale.
For more plate-related hilarity, check this out. (Yes, I basically wrote this one twice without realizing it until after I was done.)
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