Show some sympathy for the poor alpha male trainee confused about how to flirt with women without inadvertently making them feel good about themselves by telling them they look pretty or something.
“How do you flirt without validating,” someone called Lanaskillet wonders in a post on the Ask the Red Pill subreddit. He knows the general Red Pill stance is “to avoid validating and kissing up to women but,” he asks,
how do you even show interest to begin with. Talking to them without any sort of compliment will just have her thinking of you as just a man without a penis right? Push/pull to me seems like the only answer but even then it’s some sort of validation for them since you still give them a feel good statement. I’m trying to comprehend this part of the red pill
The trick, I imagine, is to figure out how to compliment a woman without making her feel good, about herself or about anything, really.
You’re beautiful — like the precious lives so cruelly snuffed out on 9/11.
If you were a fish, I bet you’d be a cod.
Your head shape appears to be within normal parameters.
You have a sister? Let me guess: she’s the pretty one?
Your makeup really makes your eyes pop … I mean, bulge.
You look better than you smell.
You’re almost as pretty as my mother.
You remind me a lot of this bug I once saw.
Are you a national park? Because you look like you’re open for drilling.
Are those your actual toes?
Use any of these suggestions and you’ll be in like Flynn.
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There is a youtube channel of a guy who is posing as some sort of self-improvement coach for men. Well, basically he just sits in his car and regurgitates manospheran sludge https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0qIt8UH5cQ
I probably wouldn’t notice if someone was trying to flirt with me, so if someone approached me with a weird pickup line, it’s entirely probable that I’d just miss their intentions completely. And then…have an odd conversation, perhaps?
I have past experience to prove this is likely. In university there was a very nice young man who always chatted with me in our classes and seemed to run into me…a lot… between them. He was always seconding my points in class, complimenting me on my thoughts, my clothes, my choice in books lol, asking about my hobbies, etc. I treated him with the exact same courtesy I’d treat anyone I liked but didn’t know too well. Found out from a mutual friend, well after that year was over, that behind my back he’d told his friends he was trying to get up the courage to ask me out (I’d have said no). I’d had absolutely zero clue. I just can’t read this stuff.
I feel like this is another case where the red pill nonsense causes guys to self-sabotage.
Dude, if you like her, then why is it bad to make her feel good? If you don’t like her, then what the fuck are you doing hitting on her at all? Either way, you’re doing it wrong.
@Lukas Xavier
Shhhh! It’s not supposed to make sense! Logic scares them almost as much as respect, kindness and compassion!
@Lukas Xavier
I realize this may be a self-evident prognosis for those currently present: but I suspect that it’s because these kinds of guy’s don’t see view women as people and have some kind of weird, zero, sum ideology that relationships are some kind of game, or outright some kind of existential war that is sorted into “winners” and “looser’s” and that any man who treats women as people and equals and making them happy is somehow “loosing” and thus means you are “less of a man” if you are dominating and making women miserable.
I mean my father was born in the 1940’s: and even he found and still finds these kinds of guy’s and their logic to be boorish, Misogynist, male chauvinist nonsense (in his own words no less).
@Paireon
But nothing scares them more than people who genuinely get along and want the best for each other. That’s anathema for a fascist.
@ Naglfar,
They especially don’t know what to do with solidarity between various groups. They’re baffled enough by the idea of in-groups having compassion for their ownmembers (as opposed to having a sort of slimy, stick-together-as-long-as-it-benefits-me-personally attitude, followed by throwing one another under the bus when convenient). But their brains really explode when people with, seemingly, different interests and needs support each other and have each other’s backs.
To want the best for someone who is not exactly like you….WHAAAAT?! But aren’t we supposed to hate each other?!
@Bookworm in hijab
I think that’s one of the main reasons the right wing in America had their meltdowns during the lockdown. All the “preppers” who claimed to be able to survive an apocalypse were expecting that everyone would fend for themself in some sort of Mad Max situation, but instead all these disparate groups came together to support each other and that threw all their plans out of alignment. They couldn’t understand it so they ended up protesting for haircuts because they didn’t get the apocalypse they wanted. Of course, in an actual apocalypse cooperation and solidarity is the only way to survive long term, lone wolves may do better at first but will eventually succumb as a result of their own hubris.
I also can’t help but feel that their lack of solidarity is a result of projection. They project their shittyness onto everyone else, so they can’t have any connection to other groups because they think those groups are terrible. Fascists hate each other almost as much as they hate their stated enemies, so any group cohesion they do form is susceptible to change at the drop of a hat.
If a certain somebody shows up to defend fascism, I am going to roll my eyes.
I think it was (hopefully just metaphorical) blue balls over not having an excuse to shoot the people they hate/fear.
When I was 18 and trying to flirt for the first time with a stranger (rather than lads I already knew through school etc) I told a bloke “me and my mates have a thing called Beard Watch, and yours is a definite ten”. Which, you know, isn’t the best start.
I suggest he just doesn’t talk to women. At all. That’s would be better for everyone.
@Autistic Giraffe,
That cartoon? That’s me. So somehow I have a reputation for a dry sense of humor and deadpan delivery, but nope, it’s just that I wasn’t actually joking!
@Naglfar,
I think you have a really good point re the not-Mad-Max nature of all this. It goes a long way to explain the truly unreasonable anger the right-wing is displaying (I know they’re always angry, but there’s an extra…pettiness? to what they’re showing over, say, haircuts). It might also explain their rush to get everything back to normal – work, school, etc – because if it’s not Mad Maxian total societal collapse, then they don’t believe it’s actually serious?
This is a bit o/t but speaking of covid and going back to work, has anyone heard from Surplus lately? I’m worried about them; they were pretty upset a while ago (I believe they live in a state where there are increasing #s of cases but things were still reopening?)
Red Piller, you can relax. If you flirted with me, I would not feel good. I would be thinking, Oh no. A rando guy who is really full of himself is talking to me. How do I get this conversation to end.
@Sheila Crosby:
You remind me a lot of this bug I once saw.
If comic artist Will Eisner were still alive, and I were to meet him, I could reasonably use that line:
http://www.deniskitchen.com/mm5/graphics/00000001/A_WE.NUDE.WILL.B.jpg
The mystery of the anti-lockdown protests was cleared up for me when I realized that they started right after the news got out that the virus disproportionally kills Black and Latinx people. That’s when Republicans started pushing for the virus to spread more. No, I’m not inclined to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Btw, I can’t comment from my Andoid tablet at all, even if I select the “desktop version” of the site. The name/email/website fields just never appear.
@Amtep (and anyone else with the same problem)
Same. Can’t use the tablet to comment because the name/email boxes never show up. Also, don’t have the floating “Would love your thoughts, please comment” widget on the tablet – might be related.
I told David about it a couple days ago, so he knows and is looking into it.
@Prith k’Dar:
When a friend of mine was in Montreal one of his standard lines was “Je parle français comme une vache espagnole” (I speak French like a Spanish cow). It was never meant to be a pickup line, just a way to get them to laugh and then switch to English.
I remember being told that this expression was a Chinese-whispered version of parler français comme un Basque espagnol (to speak French like a Spanish Basque – i.e. referring to someone from the Basque country (which extends on both sides of what is now the frontier) not only having the effrontery to speak French as a second language, but to speak it like a Basque from the “wrong” side of the border).
Can any francophone mammotheers confirm or correct – is this an urban legend kind of thing, or is there any truth to it?
@Kimstu:
Tbh, I would probably find “You remind me a lot of this bug I once saw” a genuinely intriguing opening line, and if it turned out to be intended as a sincere compliment from a guy who’s actually into entomology, I’d probably be absolutely charmed. (I suppose it would depend partly on what kind of bug he was thinking of and how he perceived the resemblance, of course.)
@Paireon:
Also, I would be totally up for talking about entomology with a potential date if the occasion ever presented itself. Bugs are fascinating (plus I’m sick and tired of the stereotype about women being afraid of bugs, especially since a LOT of women I know are like that. It’s a frikkin’ millipede for crying out loud! it’s completely harmless!).
In the process of looking up entomologist May Berenbaum, I learned a new thing on her Twitter: for the first time in her four-decade career, she met a real live mantispid—an insect resembling a cross between a mantis, a wasp, and a fly, but related to lacewings:
http://twitter.com/MayBerenbaum/status/1290511280051302400
The little critter is rocking some brilliant color, and has an air of being absorbed in Deep Thought—both of which could offer a foothold for non-creepy conversational icebreakers.
Off topic:
End testing.
@Amtep
That’s also a major factor in the protests. The white protestors believed they were entitled to services from minorities in low paying jobs, and so when that stopped they felt as though their rights were being infringed upon. The same white entitlement that has been going on since slavery.
Explain to me again how incels’ celibacy is supposed to be involuntary?
@Not Edward
Because to end their celibacy they would have to take some voluntary steps like being a somewhat less disgusting human being and not being misogynistic asshats.
@Bookworm
I do this most of the time, But like I also had to very bluntly ask my husband if he wanted to have sex on our first date because he wasn’t getting any of my hints at all. Like when he was kissing me good night at that door I asked him if he wanted to come in and he still wasn’t getting it until I said “I’m asking you if you want to come into my apartment and have sex with me”
Sometimes this incredibly smart and wonderful man really does live up to his jar head stereotype.