Show some sympathy for the poor alpha male trainee confused about how to flirt with women without inadvertently making them feel good about themselves by telling them they look pretty or something.
“How do you flirt without validating,” someone called Lanaskillet wonders in a post on the Ask the Red Pill subreddit. He knows the general Red Pill stance is “to avoid validating and kissing up to women but,” he asks,
how do you even show interest to begin with. Talking to them without any sort of compliment will just have her thinking of you as just a man without a penis right? Push/pull to me seems like the only answer but even then it’s some sort of validation for them since you still give them a feel good statement. I’m trying to comprehend this part of the red pill
The trick, I imagine, is to figure out how to compliment a woman without making her feel good, about herself or about anything, really.
You’re beautiful — like the precious lives so cruelly snuffed out on 9/11.
If you were a fish, I bet you’d be a cod.
Your head shape appears to be within normal parameters.
You have a sister? Let me guess: she’s the pretty one?
Your makeup really makes your eyes pop … I mean, bulge.
You look better than you smell.
You’re almost as pretty as my mother.
You remind me a lot of this bug I once saw.
Are you a national park? Because you look like you’re open for drilling.
Are those your actual toes?
Use any of these suggestions and you’ll be in like Flynn.
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Isn’t that what their precious negging is for? To flirt without making the other person feel good when they’re together?
@VP:
I guess, but would they even call that flirting?
And at some point they have to say that they want to have sex with us, and wouldn’t we get such inflated egos knowing that a pickup artist like “lanaskillet” wants to have sex with lil’ ol’ us?
If I heard this from a stranger it would be gross, but if a partner I trusted said it to me in jest this one would at least get a rise out of me. Unlike the others.
Someone asked me this about my hair once. I don’t wear a wig and I like my hair quite a bit, so I avoided that person from there on out.
Heh, I feel a bit targeted by that one.
(Took a bit of a circuitous cross country route to a posh pub and met a few cows on the way)
Weirdest thing I ever got was “your hair would look better on a dead cat!” Granted, that was after things had already gone south and he was trying to pick a fight rather than neg-flirt, but still.
Lanaskillet old chap, in your case you just flirt as normal.
Any women will be appropriately repulsed and mortified at the mere thought of you being attracted to her.
“Mm, I could just eat that leg for supper!”
(Actual attempted pickup line, from aboard the RTA bus—actual creeps in the wild will routinely surpass any attempt at satire.)
The bug line might actually have piqued my interest, at least long enough to ask the speaker to elaborate; I’m a long-standing entomophile.
I imagine the comments are at least as rancid.
@Trying
I just checked and the comments aren’t as horrible as I had expected. A few say he should validate her, albeit with some shitty stipulations. And one even says to give her original comments that will make her feel good. Quite weird seeing that, but it’s there.
“How can I have sex without looking at, talking to, touching, or in any way acknowledging a woman?”
I heard this just last night on a K. Trevor Wilson standup video:
Most women I only give the clap, but you get the whole applause.
No way are these guys afraid of a woman. Or all women. Absolutely not.
What’s hilarious to me is that I geninely offer compliments to people I expect to never see again, as I work at a major tourist spot. And lived in a tourist area growing up. Just…if I think someone has a cool shirt or whatever, compliment it.
@ Kereea: same. I compliment people because other people feeling good… makes me feel good? Almost as if social interaction isn´t a zero sum game.
@Keerea, LaMaria
I also compliment people if they have/do something compliment worthy. It takes very little effort on my part and can make someone’s day, so it seems like a good idea.
I want to use the head shape line. I think I will. The woman I’m talking to on Tinder will probably respond with “LOL what” and we can talk about this blog. ;D
O/T: JK Rowling has doubled down again, releasing a new book in her already heavily transphobic Cormoran Strike series that centers around a murder by a cross-dressing serial killer. This is red meat to her base, I expect to see a lot of TERFs praising it soon.
One time in particular stands out in my mind. More than 30 years ago. I was in a bar in suburban Connecticut with my sister, who wasn’t even of legal drinking age yet. A guy who was at least 40 years old saunters up to us, and says, in a tone I imagine was meant to sound suave, “Bonjour.” Sis and I both giggled.
To which the correct reply would be “excusez-moi, je ne parle pas espagnol.”
(I don’t speak French either, obviously)
@FullMetalOx: Likewise. Tbh, I would probably find “You remind me a lot of this bug I once saw” a genuinely intriguing opening line, and if it turned out to be intended as a sincere compliment from a guy who’s actually into entomology, I’d probably be absolutely charmed. (I suppose it would depend partly on what kind of bug he was thinking of and how he perceived the resemblance, of course.)
The weirdest pickup line I ever got was, “Excuse me, does your dad have a Quantcast lawnmower?”
Points for originality. And only for originality.
Welp, in my case the closest I ever got to flirting is awkwardly telling the object of my affection that I had feelings for her, after an equally awkward attempt at preparing so I didn’t sound like a creep and/or perv. She said no, and had what I (and most decent human beings’ I’d wager) very good reasons why, but it wasn’t a total loss because I still saw her (in a platonic manner, i.e. as friends) for over a year afterwards.
She did drop out of sight and stop answering my text messages (only 3 of them, and each more spaced out than the last – first was a week after we’d last seen each other, second was two weeks after the first, and third and last one month after the second), which were concerning some of her stuff I was carrying in my backpack and that we’d both forgotten about when it was time to go our own way last time we met.
I’m also not sure what, if any, influence the revelation when we last saw each other that she was a Holocaust denier (“because if the Germans had won we wouldn’t have ever heard about it”… No, seriously. I mean WTF.) had on us never seeing each other again even by accident, but it kinda softened the blow, in a weird, uncomfortable way.
Also, I would be totally up for talking about entomology with a potential date if the occasion ever presented itself. Bugs are fascinating (plus I’m sick and tired of the stereotype about women being afraid of bugs, especially since a LOT of women I know are like that. It’s a frikkin’ millipede for crying out loud! it’s completely harmless!).
@Paireon
What kind of logic is that? “If the evidence was suppressed we wouldn’t know?” Haven’t quite heard that one before. Did they think that The Man in the High Castle was nonfiction and take totally the wrong message from it?
Re: bugs
I don’t care for them, though I’ll make an exception for butterflies which I like.
@Alan Robertshaw
Heh, good ol’ XKCD. Thanks, I needed that laugh.
@Naglfar
Yeah, my (internal) reaction was pretty much the same. I told her that it was nonsense, but didn’t feel like going on a logic rant then so I didn’t really go further; not sure it would’ve helped anyway. And since this was a while before the Amazon series, and based on my (admitedly limited) knowledge about her tastes, I doubt she’d read The Man in the High Castle or anything similar. Still a pretty shit take about what is potentially the worst crime in the history of humanity (Leopold does give it a good run for its money, though; IMO Joseph and Tojo are more several crimes that add up, and Mao may just be really, really shit at distinguishing ideology from the real world, not that it diminishes his responsibility much given the sheer scale and pigheadedness and sociopathic refusal to admit any responsibility).