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How can I flirt with a woman without accidentally making her feel good about herself, alpha male wannabe wonders

Show some sympathy for the poor alpha male trainee confused about how to flirt with women without inadvertently making them feel good about themselves by telling them they look pretty or something.

How do you flirt without validating,” someone called Lanaskillet wonders in a post on the Ask the Red Pill subreddit. He knows the general Red Pill stance is “to avoid validating and kissing up to women but,” he asks,

how do you even show interest to begin with. Talking to them without any sort of compliment will just have her thinking of you as just a man without a penis right? Push/pull to me seems like the only answer but even then it’s some sort of validation for them since you still give them a feel good statement. I’m trying to comprehend this part of the red pill

The trick, I imagine, is to figure out how to compliment a woman without making her feel good, about herself or about anything, really.

You’re beautiful — like the precious lives so cruelly snuffed out on 9/11.

If you were a fish, I bet you’d be a cod.

Your head shape appears to be within normal parameters.

You have a sister? Let me guess: she’s the pretty one?

Your makeup really makes your eyes pop … I mean, bulge.

You look better than you smell.

You’re almost as pretty as my mother.

You remind me a lot of this bug I once saw.

Are you a national park? Because you look like you’re open for drilling.

Are those your actual toes?

Use any of these suggestions and you’ll be in like Flynn.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
12 days ago

@Alan Robertshaw
He’d probably find some common ground with a certain visitor of ours.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@Surplus
No, JK is not dead, but her career might be. The hashtag is mocking her new book.

(For those looking, Surplus has shortened the display name and is on the last page)

Last edited 11 days ago by Naglfar
Kätzenjammer
Kätzenjammer
11 days ago

There’s a guy called sv3rige who turns up at vegan things and eats raw squirrels at us.

Wait… so he publicly eats meat in the most unappealing way he can think of, and this is supposed to encourage folks to eat meat? Sounds legit.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
11 days ago

Belatedly commenting on yesterday’s discussion.

Given the news from yesterday about refugees being forced or coerced to undergo hysterectomies in detention (and yes I’m aware this isn’t the first time such a thing has been done in this country), I just don’t think there’s any way to be against abortion rights in a non-evil way. Forcing someone to be pregnant against their will is just as evil as forcing someone to be sterilized against their will. And it’s no surprise that the “pro-life” crowd has been largely silent on the latter. “Pro-life” was never about babies, or the sanctity of life, or the joys of parenthood or anything like that. It’s always been a misogynist and white supremacist eugenics project.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@WWTH

And it’s no surprise that the “pro-life” crowd has been largely silent on the latter.

I would guess they are silent because the women in question are poor and (at least mostly) not white. If wealthy conservative white women were being forcibly sterilized they might care.

Last edited 11 days ago by Naglfar
Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
11 days ago

@weirwoodtreehugger

I just don’t think there’s any way to be against abortion rights in a non-evil way.

I’m with you. I guess I meant more that the friends I’m thinking of would never actually interfere with anyone’s choice; I’m contrasting them with those who protest outside clinics. They subscribe more to the “if you don’t believe in abortions, don’t have one” way of thinking. So not so much against the right to have an abortion, in terms of opposing their legality.

As I said, I’m pro-choice, so maybe they’re just soft-pedaling in front of me? I’ve never come up against how they’d behave if it was one of their own family in this position, I must admit. Though I’m hardly soft-pedalling on my opinions.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
11 days ago

@ re WWTH’s comment, and @ Naglfar,

I agree with Naglfar. It’s not happening to them or those they consider to be part of their group, so they have no empathy.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
11 days ago

Alan wrote:

There’s a guy called sv3rige who turns up at vegan things and eats raw squirrels at us.

https://metro.co.uk/2019/04/13/man-who-ate-raw-pigs-head-at-vegan-festival-stabbed-four-classmates-at-school-9184229/

Varalys is the expert on him though, so I’ll let her fill in the details if she’s about.

He does have some rather unpleasant views though; he’s an unapologetic rape proponent for a start.

I guessed 100% he’s a white supremacist when I saw the YT stage name.

(Sverige is the native name of Sweden)

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@Lumipuna

I guessed 100% he’s a white supremacist when I saw the YT stage name.

White supremacists also often have some weird ideas about meat and are often heavily anti-vegan, so that would have been another red flag aside from the name. Though there are a minority of them who advocate veganism or even more restrictive diets like fruitarianism, most are very into meat due to the toxic masculinity inherent to white supremacy.

Alan Robertshaw
11 days ago

@ bookworm in hijab

It’s not happening to them or those they consider to be part of their group, so they have no empathy.

From a legal perspective, conservatism divides society into two groups. Those whom the law protects but does not bind; and those whom the law binds but does not protect.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
11 days ago

@ Alan,

From a legal perspective, conservatism divides society into two groups. Those whom the law protects but does not bind; and those whom the law binds but does not protect.

^^THIS^^

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

This is the worst type of take I’ve seen on the mass hysterectomies. So many people totally missing the point of why it was wrong.
https://twitter.com/Chinchillazllla/status/1305951902283247618
https://twitter.com/SomeBWord/status/1305903580797337600

Snowberry
Snowberry
11 days ago

@Naglfar: Yeah, if you’re going to be committed to genocide without actually killing people, why not do both?

Except, I’m wondering if it’s not really genocide that’s the motivation. It could also be sex slavery.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@Snowberry

Except, I’m wondering if it’s not really genocide that’s the motivation. It could also be sex slavery.

The historical precedent would suggest that it’s genocide, but it could be sex slavery. Hysterectomies used to be referred to as “Mississippi appendectomies” because doctors in the South often performed them on women of color or mentally disabled women under the guise of something else (such as an appendectomy). There is a very long history in the US and Canada of involuntary sterilization for eugenic purposes.

Snowberry
Snowberry
11 days ago

…I just came up with a worse take. “The wombs are being harvested so trans women can believe they’re complete and/or have babies”. You just know that some TERF is going to come up with that one eventually.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
11 days ago

The main reason I would not put that as “genocide” is that their intent is not to remove an ethnicity but a social group.

But the intent of mass killing clearly is here. I would not dispute the use of the term to put into stark light the mass social purge at work here.

I personaly feel that sterilizing against their will people is worse than outright killing them, because you keep them alive while doing something that make them suffer *and* it have the same consequence on the future on the group.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@Snowberry

I just came up with a worse take. “The wombs are being harvested so trans women can believe they’re complete and/or have babies”. You just know that some TERF is going to come up with that one eventually.

Have you seen that one in the wild yet or are you just conjecturing? I feel like since most TERFs are in the UK they probably won’t notice this. I do recall a while ago a Black TERF (one of the only ones I’ve seen) trying to claim that Black womens’ uteruses were being stolen by trans people, but that was before this particular incident surfaced.

I would like to have a womb if it were ever possible, but a) we are at least a few years away from being able to transplant uteruses into trans women, b) it would (at least for the foreseeable future) be very risky and probably not worth the risk for me, and c) I would categorically refuse any uterus harvested non-consensually.

Alan Robertshaw
11 days ago

@ ohlmann

But the intent of mass killing clearly is here. I would not dispute the use of the term to put into stark light the mass social purge at work here.

Forced sterilisation is included in the definition anyway.

Genocide:

The Rome Statute defines the crime of genocide as any of the following acts committed with intent to destroy, in whole or in part, a national, ethnical, racial or religious group:

Killing members of the group

Causing serious bodily or mental harm to members of the group

Deliberately inflicting on the group conditions of life calculated to bring

about its physical destruction in whole or in part

Imposing measures intended to prevent births within the group

Forcibly transferring children of the group to another group.

Susan
Susan
11 days ago

@opposablethumbs
I am very late to the party, but I have heard both expressions Parler français comme une vache espagnole/ comme un Basque espagnol. It just means to not speak French very well. It is sometimes used to mean that you can get along in the language but not very fluently.

The internet tells me that the original phrase might have been Parler français comme un Basque l’espagnol, which would be to speak French the way a Basque person speaks Spanish.

I don’t think it is an especially nasty expression, although it is certainly not complimentary to cows, Basques, or Spanish people.

Last edited 11 days ago by Susan
Snowberry
Snowberry
11 days ago

@Naglfar:
Admittedly, I was speculating. I did later check and see what the US-based TERF-ish organizations were currently talking about, and apparently the big news with them right now is polls in California and Idaho saying that 79% of people agree that “men should not be held in women’s prisons” (the polls say nothing about trans people) and are taking that as evidence that allowing “TIMs” in women’s prisons is defying the will of the public. Either I speculated wrong or it hasn’t penetrated their bubble yet.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@Snowberry

the big news with them right now is polls in California and Idaho saying that 79% of people agree that “men should not be held in women’s prisons”

I feel like they have likely skewed the results of the polls, however. For one, if the question was worded that way it could skew the answers because people might be thinking of cis men going to women’s prisons, which is a different idea. As well, if the TERFs themselves conducted the poll there is almost definitely a sampling bias, as most non-bigots don’t take TERF polls (like the time they did their own GRA consult and found that almost 100% of transphobes do not want trans rights).

Last edited 11 days ago by Naglfar
Pie
Pie
11 days ago

@Threp

Oh, him. He’s an embarrassment to humanity. Not edgy or particularly irritating, just embarrassing. I can just see our far distant ancestors slapping him upside the head and saying “We tamed fire for a reason!”

It seems like he has a theory about how concerns about parasites or bacterial infection are, in fact, just scaremongering to stop people eating raw meat. This is at least a point of view that will eventually be self-correcting.

I’ve eaten squirrel before, albeit in cooked form. It wasn’t that great, and I can’t recommend it.

Naglfar
Naglfar
11 days ago

@Snowberry
I found the TERF response to the ICE hysterectomies. Granted, they aren’t going as far as to blame it on trans women, but it’s very demonstrative of how they don’t actually care about women.
https://twitter.com/iheartbikies/status/1305957227266600960

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
10 days ago

@Victorious Parasol, Alan Robertshaw, Naglfar:

Proof that the States have always had odd little sects running around.

In many ways, that’s one of the side effects of the U.S. <em>not</em> having an official state religion, and even before its founding just having too much area to enforce anything; anybody could start up a cult and run with it, and many of them survived the deaths of their founders. This led to the various ‘Great Awakenings’ in the U.S., where fringe religions and local charismatic cults spread like wildfire, leading to terms like the ‘Burned-Over District’ where charismatic groups would pick up people that had left previous similar groups, meaning the ‘wildfire’ had spread multiple times.

Of course, a lot of people were very upset about the U.S. not having an official state religion; it was apparently one of the more hotly contested parts of the constitution. And a lot of the people who were upset about it eventually settled to ‘well, there may not be an official religion <em>now</em>, but when our obviously One True Religion takes over, we can change that’.

The only other place that seems to have been a source for many odd little sects like the U.S., would have been post-Reformation Germany… even before the Thirty Years’ War, the Anabaptist groups that would become the Mennonites, Amish, Hutterites, etc were going ‘a pox on both your houses’ to both the Catholics and Lutherans; and after the War, there wasn’t a lot of will to enforce a state religion anyway. A number of the earlier odd sects in the U.S. were originally imported by the early German settlers, but then split and proliferated.

Last edited 10 days ago by Jenora Feuer
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
10 days ago

@Pie

Sounds like that idiot troll we had a bit back on one of the Miggie cooking threads – the real wordy sod who’s prose was more ultraviolet than purple. He was convinced he could train his system to deal with the nasties. Which would be a neat trick. (If it were possible the military would be using it. They don’t – the only thing they train out of you is your sense of taste – so it’s not possible.)

Squirrel stew is rather nice if it’s done right. Nan used to make a wonderful one, but she never shared the recipe. She were a bit ashamed of some of what she called her “poor-house dishes.”

Last edited 10 days ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Naglfar
Naglfar
10 days ago

@Jenora Feuer

And a lot of the people who were upset about it eventually settled to ‘well, there may not be an official religion now, but when our obviously One True Religion takes over, we can change that’.

This attitude, which persists to this day, leads to some rather unstable alliances. For instance, many different sects of Christians have come together to form the religious right yet each one seems to think that once they get their theocracy that all their former allies will suddenly convert to their specific sect.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
10 days ago

… all their former allies will suddenly convert be forcibly converted to their specific sect.

Fie, my friend, on such a lack of epistemological rigor! Fixed it for you. 😀

Last edited 10 days ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
10 days ago

@Jenora Feuer

Yep. I’ve occasionally wondered what Great-Great-etc.-Grandfather was thinking when he wrote that the Dunkards were “very hospitable people.” Was he noting something that surprised him? Was he simply reporting the facts as he found them? It’s one of those times where the text alone doesn’t say very much, and in any case he was more concerned with mapping than with anthropology or sociology (though as a doctor of the time I’m assuming he was a bit of an amateur naturalist).

Jenora Feuer
Jenora Feuer
9 days ago

@Naglfar:
Oh, I’m all too well aware it persists to this day. I was mostly just noting that the attitude has been around since the founding of the U.S.

And before, really. The Puritans in particular were quite well-known for having left for North America not so much to escape religious persecution but so they could be the ones on top when engaging in it. That’s why Rhode Island was officially for freedom of religion even before the U.S. came together as a thing, because the Puritans had chased the Baptists out of other parts of New England.

@Victorious Parasol:
Who knows? Certainly there are people to this day who firmly and loudly believe that atheists cannot possibly be good people without a belief in God to keep them on the straight and narrow. (Often while explicitly breaking their own commandments.) The idea that someone would be surprised that members of another religion were hospitable has an unfortunate amount of historical evidence behind it.