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An incel’s lament: Even if I find a teenage girlfriend she’ll eventually get old and ugly

The Buddha is not impressed

The Buddha, legend has it, spent his younger years living in an opulent palace that was also, in a way, a prison — designed to make sure he never saw the reality of suffering in the real world. But in his late twenties he decided he needed to see the world outside the palace walls.

On his first trip out, he saw an old man, and learned about the phenomenon of aging. On subsequent trips, he saw a sick man, a corpse, and a religious ascetic. He learned that life was fleeting and suffused with suffering. This insight was the spark for the spiritual quest that led to his enlightenment.

One regular commenter on Incels.co seems, like the Buddha, to have discovered the phenomenon of aging, though his discovery hasn’t led to any wisdom.

“Even if I get a teen or early 20s girlsfriend she will age out,” Total Imbecile sadly reported in a recent post:

I dont know how guys cope with this

No matter how pretty your girlfriend is she will eventually grow old, everything is transient …

Each year you turn 1 year older while some girl whos your 10/10 becomes a teen and starts living her prime

And even she will eventually age out of her prime

Its just brutal, I hate the agepill

Total Imbecile, like the Buddha, realizes that life is transient and painful; unlike the Buddha, he uses this insight as an excuse to lament that hot 13-year-olds won’t be hot 13-year-olds forever. Euggghh.

In a followup comment, he told the sad tale of a recent shopping trip:

I was @ my local target today and I noticed this girl who had like blonde hair but it was almost orange

Anyways I realized I wanna marry her but then as she was walking I noticed an old guy walking in the opposite direction and it hit me

Even if I marry her, 50 years from now I will be that old guy and somebody else will be that college girl, my wife will be old and her hair will probably go white, she wont be a college girl forever

I wanted to kill myself right then and there

Don’t worry, dude; with this attitude, even if you somehow magically manage to find a girlfriend, she’s not going to put up with your shit long enough to grow any older.

An incel called Transcended Truecel agreed with Imbecile’s bleak assessment of the world.

Yup, I was once thinking about this. Even if you somehow get a Stacy, every passing year her looks degrade, day by day. Eventually she will become old hag. It was very brutal enlightenment. Destroyed my desire to ascend by a large degree, after realizing this, I no longer care for trying to ascend as it’s not possible and not even worth the effort either. Best to money max and cope

In a followup comment, he added:

Imagine putting all this effort for foid and finally ascending , just for her to expire a few years in . Really unideal

Boo fucking hoo. Like you’e going to age like fine wine?

Seriously, dudes, go read Siddartha or something. Get a little bit of perspective on life.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
17 days ago

Wait until he realizes that everyone will eventually die. Most people seem to learn this around age 4.

And even she will eventually age out of her prime

And so will you, and everyone else. Getting older may not be pleasant but it beats the alternative.

hot 13-year-olds won’t be hot 13-year-olds forever

Yes, they will grow up and will know better than to interact with incel pedophiles.

I was @ my local target today and I noticed this girl who had like blonde hair but it was almost orange

Does he mean red hair? He could just say that.

Even if I marry her, 50 years from now I will be that old guy and somebody else will be that college girl, my wife will be old and her hair will probably go white, she wont be a college girl forever

Weirdly, he doesn’t seem concerned about how aging will affect his own body. Does he know that men suffer age-related ailments as well, and generally live shorter than women?

go read Siddartha

If they do, I hope they don’t make 8 hour long improvisational music compositions about it.

IIRC incels don’t like the Buddha anyway, as he was a “GigaChad.”

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
17 days ago

Personally I like seeing older couples. There’s something very beautiful and #relationshipgoals about seeing two silver-haired people who have obviously been sweethearts for years and years.

Naglfar
Naglfar
17 days ago

@Victorious Parasol
My great-grandparents on my mother’s father’s side were married for 68 years. They were possibly the best-matched couple I ever knew, they survived together through more than half of the 20th century, running a series of small businesses and being active in left wing politics and the civil rights movement. They met as teens in a Manhattan tenement house in the 1930s, married a few years later, and stayed firmly by each other’s sides until his death in 2005 at the age of 89. Both my great-grandmother and great-grandfather were characters in and of themselves, and I’ve got plenty of family anecdotes about them individually and together.

O/T: I’m not sure if the new site background looks this way to other people, but on my phone it looks pink. I like the color a lot, and it will make toxically masculine misogynists upset.

Last edited 17 days ago by Naglfar
Anonymous
Anonymous
17 days ago

Yes, old age is a cruel thing and the loss of attractiveness is probably the least bad part of it. There’s also the slow and inevitable breakdown of each and every part of your body as well as your mind, and while some people manage to get through their 50s-60s relatively unaffected by the effects of aging, it tends to go downhill from there and fast. Perhaps science will eventually figure out how to reverse aging to some degree, but I can’t count on that and in any case surviving one day at a time is more important than a future that may or may not come.

Not completely related: I feel bad for all the little kids who had the misfortune to grow up with Trump as their president, and even more so for the ones suffering through this pandemic. I fear it’ll basically wreck their lives before they can even get started unless miracles start happening real soon.

Snowberry
Snowberry
17 days ago

@Naglfar:
On my computer, you can switch between a dusty pink “day” mode and a dark blue with white text “night” mode.

Sharon Weintraub
17 days ago

I think Tom Lehrer addressed just this sentiment in his tender love song, “When You are Old and Gray”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv-c1-4kJ7w

Catalpa
Catalpa
17 days ago

I have a solution for the incels- just date a mannequin. She’ll never grow old and never leave, it’s the perfect partner for doofuses like these folks.

Naglfar
Naglfar
17 days ago

@Catalpa
That also means they’ll stay away from living women. I’d happily donate to buy every incel a mannequin if it meant no more Elliot Rodgers.

Lizzie
Lizzie
17 days ago

To be fair, Total Imbecile did have enough insight to name himself correctly.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
17 days ago

Perhaps the revelation that women age wouldn’t be so painful if these dudes started actually valuing women for something other than their looks.

CanuckAmuck
CanuckAmuck
17 days ago

They seem to believe they’ve going to age like George Clooney when in fact they’ll probably age like Steven Tyler.

Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
17 days ago

Oh no Entropy.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
17 days ago

Getting old isn’t so bad. Beats the alternative.

happy cat
happy cat
17 days ago

Does he really believe he will be attracted by teenage girls forever? I mean, I’m ok with teenage boys being attracted by teenage girls. Middle-age men attracted by 13-year-olds? So creepy…

Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
17 days ago

@ Naglfar

Wait until he realizes that everyone will eventually die. Most people seem to learn this around age 4.

Do they really? I totally did not realize that at age 4 and thought everyone would live forever. Thus at age 11 I was horribly distressed to see the corpse of my favorite teacher and this was the point when the “everybody dies, no, really” bomb hit for me. Is it very abnormal to not be aware of this until so late an age?

Unrelated: the comments box is at the top of the comments now? You wot mate?

Last edited 17 days ago by Big Titty Demon
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
Kat, ambassador, feminist revolution (in exile)
17 days ago

I dont know how guys cope with this
No matter how pretty your girlfriend is she will eventually grow old, everything is transient …
Each year you turn 1 year older while some girl whos your 10/10 becomes a teen and starts living her prime
And even she will eventually age out of her prime
Its just brutal, I hate the agepill

Becomes a teen? That means she’s now 12? Or is she 10 and 10/10?

Total Imbecile, you had better be 10 years old yourself. If not, you have a chance of landing in prison. Talk about brutal.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
17 days ago

Extra cultural yikness : in France, college is 11-15. Which make “college girl” look *particulary* bad.

(the extract shown in the article more point toward 15-20, but with incel you never know)

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
17 days ago

Incels: We want loving, meaningful relationships but women won’t give us a chance because of our looks! Women are shallow bitches!

Also incels: What’s the point of staying in a relationship if she’s going to get old and stop looking good?

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
17 days ago

On my computer, you can switch between a dusty pink “day” mode and a dark blue with white text “night” mode.

My visual impairment thanks you. It’s especially the right side of my vision that is nonexistent so I hadn’t started looking for the icon until you made me aware of its existence. Nightscreen is much easier to read for me. Thanks for the option, David!

As for aging, the one thing I really fear about that is dementia.

Snowberry
Snowberry
17 days ago

Off topic, but while I was watching a video I got an ad for the Trump campaign. The first half was the Orange One rambling about people with boats being awesome. (Okay, they were specific people, but still.) The second half was him claiming that “liberal extremists” want to raise your taxes “5 or 6 times” which is “crazy” because they’d have to raise taxes “300%”. Initially I thought he was saying that it was raising taxes up to 5 or 6 times the current levels so that you’d have to pay 300% of your income – but the wording was so vague and disjointed that I later thought of three other interpretations, only one of which isn’t completely stupid.

This is the best he can do? Really? I mean, his rambling incoherence barely matters to his diehard fans, but they’re not the ones who need to be convinced to vote for him.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
16 days ago

@Snowberry : like all fascist dictators, he don’t need more than his fanbase. He will just ignlre the vote of the others one way or another.

Kereea
Kereea
16 days ago

Looks like we found where Incel meets MGTOW. Probably also how they keep them in the cult once the younger ones grow up a bit and realize they’re not some fictionally hideously deformed levels of ugly but still have to insist there’s no reason to get a woman.
However, isn’t admitting you don’t WANT to get a woman admitting you are no longer an incel? The dang term means “involuntarily celibate” and if you’re admitting it’s voluntary, you are thus no longer incel. LOGIC, people.

Last edited 16 days ago by Kereea
Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Big Titty Demon

Do they really? I totally did not realize that at age 4 and thought everyone would live forever. Thus at age 11 I was horribly distressed to see the corpse of my favorite teacher and this was the point when the “everybody dies, no, really” bomb hit for me. Is it very abnormal to not be aware of this until so late an age?

All I know is that 4 is an average, so I’m sure there are exceptions. I’m sure there are other factors involved as well, like whether anyone close to them has died.

Source

SpecialFrog
SpecialFrog
16 days ago

I think they should read “Steppenwolf”.

A man develops an elaborate, self-pitying world view that casts himself as an outsider in a declining society and then has this world view systematically ripped to shreds.

Alan Robertshaw
16 days ago

O/T but I find this a bit interesting.

Firstly because there’s just something I find a bit bizarre about the idea of a terrorist theatre group. Reminds me of the nihilists in Big Lebowski.

But also that Norway has an offence of ‘attacks on democracy’

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/sep/08/norway-former-ministers-partner-laila-anita-bertheussen-on-trial-fake-threats

Lollypop
Lollypop
16 days ago

Why Incels Will Never Be Happy: Volume 489: It isn’t even enough to get a beautiful, young (in fact, probably underage) girlfriend and have them support, love and sexually submit to you with no requirement of emotional or sexual effort on your side. Nope, incels also need a constant supply of fresh ones when the girlfriends age out, presumably in their view at around 23, or they “might as well rope”. Chasing that Leonardo DiCaprio dream * shudders *

I think my husband is a head-turner in terms of handsomeness, but as much as I love the way he looks, I’ve not fetishised it so much that I’ll have a complete existential meltdown when he starts to age. Doing that would be deeply strange and dehumanising, and it’s actually even weirder to me that they are doing this over women they’ve only interacted with momentarily.

Victorious Parasol is right that seeing/knowing older happy couples is lovely and heartwarming. I find it romantic. Like when you see old best friends still hanging out together.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
16 days ago

Not only do girls age, they also fart and have garlic breath and opinions. It’s not Father Time that’s the problem here.

Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Buttercup

Not only do girls age, they also fart and have garlic breath and opinions.

The horror! Brb going to eat a garlic burrito and have some opinions. Like “the best Metallica album is Ride the Lightning” or “roasted potatoes > mashed potatoes.”

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
16 days ago

Naglfar wrote:

roasted potatoes > mashed potatoes

Why do you hate civilization? Any fucking cromag can roast a potato, but only the truly civilized can boil them and then add butter and cream whilst pulverizing them to a delicious demipaste.

What is wrong with you?

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
16 days ago

“roasted potatoes > mashed potatoes.”

Chips are better than both. As are baked potato. But the supreme potato is the Dauphinoise. There is NO dispute.

Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Gaebolga

Why do you hate civilization? Any fucking cromag can roast a potato, but only the truly civilized can boil them and then add butter and cream whilst pulverizing them to a delicious demipaste.

Can a cromagnon chop a potato into small slices and chunks, add the appropriate spices in the appropriate ratios, lightly coat them in oil, and roast them in an oven until the outside is crisp and the inside soft? All it takes to boil a potato is a vessel that can hold water over a fire, then mash it with a stone or whatever else you have handy.

Really, I just don’t like the texture of mashed potatoes.

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
16 days ago

Wait, was Total Imbecel already taken? Can these guys not even get commitment to theme right?

Chrisb
Chrisb
16 days ago

I thought the lament was going to be “if i find a teenage girlfriend she’ll grow up and realize what a loser I am” Isn’t that what always happens to 30 year old guys who date women in their early 20s?

Lainy
Lainy
16 days ago

I have never heard someone call red hair blonde but almost orange wtf

Viscaria
Viscaria
16 days ago

My controversial take is that all potatoes are delicious, and you are all invited to bring me those potatoes that are prepared in a manner you do not prefer. I don’t want to share my address, but for most of you, just go north-ish, west-ish. See you soon.

I thought that inceldom was supposed to be a fairly new phenomenon, a result of women being given the dangerous power of checks notes choosing who they have sex with. I’m pretty sure aging predates whatever era they believe they would have been granted a wife in.

Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Viscaria

all potatoes are delicious

I’d recommend avoiding the green ones, they’re a bit on the toxic side.

I’m pretty sure aging predates whatever era they believe they would have been granted a wife in.

True, but incels might not know that. Maybe they think aging only happened after feminism started, and that before that, people only died of disease or injury.

Hambeast
Hambeast
16 days ago

I’d love to know what the incels’ secret to eternal not-aging-out is! Maybe it’s just that all that money-maxxing enables them to get hair plugs, botox, and personal trainers and stuff. But the truth is that after a certain age, everyone ages like bread left on the counter too long.

I figured out death at 5, but that was only because one of my playmates died of heart abnormalities. None of the neighborhood kids were taken to the funeral, though, because that was beyond the pale somehow?

Finally, I personally find potatoes to be overrated and could live quite happily without them. I’m a rice lover and recently discovered basmati. YUM!

Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Hambeast

I’m a rice lover and recently discovered basmati.

Bhasmati is great. I personally use it with curries or some other dish that has a good sauce to soak into the rice.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
16 days ago

As I’m curious about the spoiler tag, and want to drop in something OT …

Totally OT
I’ve mentioned before that for anyone who loves Stardew Valley, My Time in Portia is even better. Being a serial restarter, I’d not actually “finished” (there’s an endpoint to the main story line, though side quests can continue on and you can basically play forever if you like) the game until today.

I cried. It’s good.

Last edited 16 days ago by Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Big Titty Demon
Big Titty Demon
16 days ago

All I know is that 4 is an average, so I’m sure there are exceptions. I’m sure there are other factors involved as well, like whether anyone close to them has died.

What a fascinating article! 4 is the average for irreversibility, though, not universality, which comes later. Not as late as me though, evidently I had some kind of stunted understanding around death.

The anecdote given in the article paints the 3-year-old as being obliviously happy at the funeral, but I wonder if she really was. I have known children as young as 2 to exaggerate their own pleasant mood as a response to sadness or anger in adults, in an attempt to bring them out of it. (Of course, those children were in homes where the parents were fighting all the time, so maybe it’s different in a happy home and children are oblivious there.)

Also wow the comment box is way easier to use on desktop than the phone.

Dalillama
16 days ago

@Lainy
What, you’ve never heard of Carrot Top?

epitome of incomrepehensibility

So, I have had thoughts like this as a teenager. The “if I marry someone, he’ll get old and won’t be pretty anymore” kind of stuff – as if he wouldn’t get old if I didn’t marry him. (“Him” by default – I knew I was bisexual by 14 but didn’t really admit it until I was 17.)

But even then it was a passing thought and not a source of existential angst. Aren’t there other things in life to worry about?

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
16 days ago

Naglfar wrote:

Really, I just don’t like the texture of mashed potatoes.

Fair enough.

epitome of incomrepehensibility

OT, but I’m changing the link my ‘nym goes to (it makes more sense to link to the place my writing is indexed rather than the entire site). Just curious to see whether the comment goes into moderation again.

1st time commenting in the new website format, my comment went into moderation, but my latest one didn’t.

Edit: nope, it showed up right away. Also, I found the edit button 🙂

Last edited 16 days ago by epitome of incomrepehensibility
Naglfar
Naglfar
16 days ago

@Big Titty Demon

The anecdote given in the article paints the 3-year-old as being obliviously happy at the funeral, but I wonder if she really was. I have known children as young as 2 to exaggerate their own pleasant mood as a response to sadness or anger in adults, in an attempt to bring them out of it.

I’ve observed the same. I’ve also seen children express some kinds of sadness by trying to drown it out in themselves by acting happy or masking it. I did that as a kid, which led me to do standup comedy as a teen as a way of coping with depression and dysphoria. I haven’t done standup in a long time, but if open mics ever become safe again I might try to get back into it.

For me, I really understood the permanence of death when I was 3 and my family’s dog at the time died. He wasn’t a human but I was close to him and missed him dearly.

Last edited 16 days ago by Naglfar
Lainy
Lainy
16 days ago

@Dalillama

I AM a carrot top. it’s just most normal people call it a carrot top or just red hair. they don’t say “blonde but like orange blonde” like a stoner who’s forgotten the word for red.

Lainy
Lainy
16 days ago

Oh my god…can i…can i finally add images here without having to go through something weird? is that the new thing? can i do that?

Lainy
Lainy
16 days ago

This is a test, so it’s a meme

maxresdefault.jpg
Lainy
Lainy
16 days ago

Oh my god i can, this changes everything! David I love you!

Lainy
Lainy
16 days ago

Sorry I am super excited about this cause this is so new so this is off topic. I’m gonna show you guys my new hair cause I’ve never been able to show you imagines before. I am no longer a carrot top.

20200908_134423.jpg