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misogyny red pill reddit

Red Pillers are out there breaking their own hearts and I can’t say I feel the slightest bit of sympathy

Sorry, Pat. These guys are their own heartbreakers.

The manipulative and often just straight-up abusive dating “philosophy” promulgated on the Red Pill subreddit is bad news for any woman it’s inflicted upon. But it’s also bad news for the Red Pillers themselves, promoting a vision of the world as a cold, cruel place where no one gives a shit about anyone else.

In the end, what’s the point of relationships,” a Red Piller called Jakos_8569 wonders aloud in the Ask The Red Pill subreddit. The answer he gives to his own question is somehow both plaintive and nihilistic; the fellow seems to have broken his own heart, or at least what remains of his heart after prolonged exposure to the Red Pill philosophy.

So we know that women love us conditionnally, just like everybody else, except our parents. We also know that we can’t talk to a plate/gf/ltr/wife about our anxieties, fears and expect them to provide emotional comfort and reassurance, like a friend would (we also hear many stories here about guys opening up or even crying in front of their girl only to see them gradually taking their distances or brekaing up with them).

This is someone who’s never had a real relationship with anyone.

We should keep our issues to ourselves and/or share them with intimate friends or a qualified therapist.

I’ll second the notion of going to a trained therapist, but seriously, if you can’t bring up your issues with your girlfriend because you’re afraid if you’re vulnerable in her presence she’ll flee, there’s something wrong with you (or her). You may have a relationship, of sorts, but it’s not a good one.

So we know we can’t rely on our woman during hard times. We’re on our own there.

This is ass-backwards; if you can’t rely on your partner during rough times, you’re either in a relationship so shallow it doesn’t really count as a relationship. Or you and her are both selfish shitheads.

Since that love is conditional, and also prone to hypergamy, it is also very unpredictable. All relationships end and if someone made “sacrifices” to keep the relationship going llike refusing a great job opportunity in another state to stay with the gf for whatever reason would be an investment gone in the wind.

Some relationships end only when one of the partners dies. People in relationships make compromises and, yes, sometimes sacrifice things they want to help their partner — even though they know there’s no guarantee that the relationships in question will last forever. Assuming the sacrifices aren’t too one-sided, they’re not investments gone wrong, they’re the sorts of favors that people who care about each other do for each other.

Well, what can we get from dating a woman then ? Sex ? Sure. The physical act itself is enjoyable, but far from meaningful: a brain fart of a dopamine rush for a few seconds.

If sex is no more meaningful to you than a brain fart, might I suggest that you’re perhaps not very good at it?

Just like the meaningless pleasure you could get from eating a high fat, high sugar food.

It would take one seriously awesome piece of cake to rival good sex.

This type of pleasure pales in comparison with, for example., the feeling of pride, and fullfilment from going to the gym consistently and lifting more and more weight through effort and discipline, building a business from scratch and making it profitable, learning to make music, hiking up a 4 mile high mountain etc..

If sex “pales” before a gym workout, you’re definitely not having good sex.

Then there’s the post sex oxytocin bath, where you start to feel a bond. But you know, deep down, that you can never be loved unconditionnally but only for what you can offer her.

Either you’re suffering from clinical depression or the Red Pill philosophy is seriously fucking up your brain.

To recap : we can’t have both sexual attraction and emotional support from a gf : her love is conditional. If you lose your job, are down on your luck, her “love” could go just as fast. Investing time with friends (male or female) who we could actually rely on seem to be much more beneficial. Then, that leaves the actual sexual gratification, which ultimately, isn’t of substance and even leaves us lethargic after the fact.

We got it already: you’re bad at sex.

My question is : Outside of the actual sex itself, is there any reason to even bother getting a relationship, doing the cuddling, getting attached etc ?

You talk about “doing the cuddling” like you’re doing time in prison. No wonder you can’t find your way into a healthy relationship.

It seems to me that the best way to go about this would be to simply enjoy the time spent for what it is (doing activites you truly enjoy , without ever INVESTING ANYTHING (not paying for anything, taking out of your time to help her out, undermining your opportunities in order to benefit her etc), and without any expectation of it lasting at all, without attachment just like you enjoy a sunset without trying to cling to it and when it’s gone well then it’s been fun while it lasted, and you move on. And the woman you’re doing things with, could be anyone, just like the sunset job could be fulfilled by any star.

Damn, you’re making me depressed not only about relationships but about sunsets.

At the end, is this just it ? If so, why the hell do so many people invest so much time and resources in finding a partner (even in this sub) in finding a partner and getting profoundly depressed when unable to ?

And bonus question : how could we even form families stable enough to raise children with this reality ?

Please. dude, don’t even think about starting a family when you’re in this state of mind. Or even dating anyone. Stick with gym workouts and the occasional piece of cake. Try not to fuck the cake.

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weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

It’s truly bizarre how it never even occurs to red pillers when they muse on this subject that some people like their significant others as people and want to spend time with them. They’re so deeply into their worldview of all relationships and all interactions being inherently transactional that it never even crosses their minds that some people just like their partners.

Naglfar
Naglfar
20 days ago

But it’s also bad news for the Red Pillers themselves

The zero sum world view imposed by the Red Pill philosophy is truly destructive. On some level, I feel sorry for the men who fall into it at first, but then I remember how horrible they are to everyone else and I have a hard time feeling sorry.

We also know that we can’t talk to a plate/gf/ltr/wife about our anxieties, fears and expect them to provide emotional comfort and reassurance, like a friend would (we also hear many stories here about guys opening up or even crying in front of their girl only to see them gradually taking their distances or brekaing up with them).

We should keep our issues to ourselves and/or share them with intimate friends or a qualified therapist.

This is a toxic masculinity thing, and he is so close to getting that, but missing the mark completely at the last minute. If I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t feel safe sharing their emotions with me, I would probably try to find someone else, as that isn’t a healthy relationship. I’d also try to find a new relationship if I felt that I couldn’t share my emotions with my partner.

If sex is no more meaningful to you than a brain fart, might I suggest that you’re perhaps not very good at it?

I might also think, if they don’t enjoy sex, have they considered finding a world view that doesn’t center it as the be-all, end-all? The Red Pill views sex purely as transactional and a status symbol, which leaves it devoid of any sort of pleasure.

It would take one seriously awesome piece of cake to rival good sex.

Some commenter here mentioned that certain foods can make some people orgasm spontaneously, so if that’s true then it might be possible.

we can’t have both sexual attraction and emotional support from a gf : her love is conditional

Then either you’re a terrible boyfriend or your girlfriend is very unsupportive, probably the former.

Investing time with friends (male or female)

Wait, I thought the Red Pill said men couldn’t be friends with women. I admit I’m surprised to see this.

isn’t of substance and even leaves us lethargic after the fact.

This is possibly TMI, but I thought most people liked being tired out after sex and falling asleep with a partner. Is he possibly anorgasmic?

Outside of the actual sex itself, is there any reason to even bother getting a relationship, doing the cuddling, getting attached etc ?

I think most people like those things. At least, I do

just like the sunset job could be fulfilled by any star.

If the sun were to be replaced by another star, however, unless that star were exactly like the sun, the Earth might no longer be in the habitable zone and life wouldn’t exist.

how could we even form families stable enough to raise children with this reality ?

He should try connecting to reality first, that might be a bit hard given how Red Pill beliefs are totally disconnected.

Just so close to realizing Red Pill philosophy sucks for all parties, but no cigar.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
20 days ago

To recap : we can’t have both sexual attraction and emotional support from a gf : her love is conditional. If you lose your job, are down on your luck, her “love” could go just as fast.

I’ve known waaaaay more women supporting “down on their luck” men than the reverse; from the outside it looks like he’s mooching and she tolerates it for years and supports him while he plays video games all day because she loves him. Redpillers don’t seem to account for this in their worldview …

I’m also confused by the “both” in that first sentence. You can have sexual attraction OR emotional support? You can totally have emotional support, as long as you’re dating someone to whom you’re not physically attracted? How does this work?

doing activites you truly enjoy , without ever INVESTING ANYTHING (not paying for anything, taking out of your time to help her out, undermining your opportunities in order to benefit her etc)

Yep, sounds like a mooch.

And bonus question : how could we even form families stable enough to raise children with this reality ?

And yet somehow it manages to happen, so could the problem be with your premises or … ???

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
20 days ago

The red pill is a dangerous depressant. If someone tries to get you to take one, just say no.

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
20 days ago

OT

Why do liberals want to take away our guns?

https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/09/man-brought-ar-15-gay-bar-shouted-killed-fats/

Man brought an AR-15 to a gay bar & shouted that he would “have killed those fa***ts”

A man who went to an LGBTQ bar in Missouri with an AR-15 and 160 rounds has been sentenced to 46 months in prison.

Freddie Lee Doyle, 32, pled guilty to a charge of unlawful possession of a firearm in federal court in exchange for prosecutors dropping hate crimes charges.

[…]

Video footage showed Doyle talking to a Black man who left the Just John Night Club, another LGBTQ venue in the neighborhood. The two went back to Doyle’s car, where Doyle pointed the rifle at his victim.

The man ran and Doyle went after him with the gun. Witnesses said that he pointed the weapon at the victim, then shouted obscenities and anti-gay slurs at the crowd. He started a “verbal countdown” and fired one shot in the air when he finished.

Police nearby heard the shot, but Doyle hid his gun and said that the shooter ran into a nearby alley. Police soon arrested him.

Court documents say that he shouted that he would “have killed those faggots” if police hadn’t shown up, according to Metro Weekly.

Doyle’s lawyer originally argued that he was not motivated by hatred of LGBTQ people but that he was acting in self-defense when the Black man “followed” him into his car.

Doyle later told the court that he was suffering from depression and anxiety and has ADHD. He said that he used to be a husband and a father, but then he lost his job, house, cars, and family and turned to methamphetamine. He tested positive for meth after his arrest.

freneticferret
freneticferret
20 days ago

Sometimes I start to feel sorry for the these people, but then I remember what they’re like, how hateful they are, how void of compassion they are… I suppose I feel something like pity for them, but it’s a pity heavily overlayed with disgust.

Naglfar
Naglfar
20 days ago

@freneticferret
Same here.

Kimstu
Kimstu
20 days ago

@Naglfar:

If the sun were to be replaced by another star, however, unless that star were exactly like the sun, the Earth might no longer be in the habitable zone and life wouldn’t exist.

Not to mention that unlike the possibility of “replacing” a current relationship partner with a new one, it is literally physically impossible for Earth humans to acquire a different star to source our sunsets from.

Talk about your “one and only” committed relationships with a built-in power imbalance! When it comes to the sun, we are all, literally, beta orbiters.

It’s almost as though fundamental facts of planetary astrophysics tend not to make very good metaphors for human relationships. Which you might think that even RedPillers would be able to figure out for themselves, but apparently you would be wrong.

Miri
Miri
20 days ago

It would take one seriously awesome piece of cake to rival good sex.

I mean it might just be me being a sex-repulsed ace but I think any piece of cake is better than sex.

Actually. I just remembered that I had a piece of cake that literally tasted like disappointment. That particular piece of cake would probably be worse than sex.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
20 days ago

I swear, I tried to edit that stray semicolon. The Edit Monster lied about how much time I had left in which to edit. Also, I don’t understand the double and triple vertical red lines in the left margin. I’m certain my quote codes were correct. Damn you, Blockquote Monster!

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
20 days ago

Okay, it looks like my first post disappeared. I’ll repeat just one thing:

We also know that we can’t talk to a plate/gf/ltr/wife about our anxieties, fears and expect them to provide emotional comfort and reassurance.

Yes, it’s strange that a person you call a “plate” won’t provide comfort and reassurance. After all, it’s not as though you tried to strip her of her humanity.

Mog
Mog
20 days ago

I think there’s hope for this kid. He can still articulate a desire for a relationship that offers mutual intimacy. He still thinks men have friends and loving parents. He can also still string together a sentence that makes logical sense, without (much) red pill jargon, contemptuous references to female genitalia or abusing a thesaurus.

Let’s hope he gets out before he completely rots his brain and ruins his life. Or someone else’s.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
20 days ago

Dude?

Maybe making your bed out of hair sheets on a barbed wire mattress weren’t a good idea, right?

Dolt.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
19 days ago

Actually. I just remembered that I had a piece of cake that literally tasted like disappointment. That particular piece of cake would probably be worse than sex.

OK, now I’m really curious what kind of cake that was. Though my palate isn’t much more refined than ‘whelp, that sure tastes like food’ I’m always intrigued and baffled by such descriptions of taste.

Naglfar
Naglfar
19 days ago

@Kimstu

When it comes to the sun, we are all, literally, beta orbiters.

And trying to get closer results in death.

Lukas Xavier
Lukas Xavier
19 days ago

If sex “pales” before a gym workout, you’re definitely not having good sex.

Or you have a very fancy gym.

Naglfar
Naglfar
19 days ago

@Lukas Xavier
Or they’re doing a very specific kind of workout.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
19 days ago

@Battering Lamb

I’m not Miri, but the most disappointing cake I ever ate was a swedish princess cake in Helsinki. I was excited because I had seen a YouTube video recipe in the recent past and wanted to try one for myself.

It tasted of little but sugar. I’m pretty sure the marzipan was actually fondant. The custard/whipped cream part was buttercream and had a gravelly texture to it, also from too much sugar. The cake was dense and dry, the only other noticeable flavour apart from sugar was the jam between the cake layers.

So: fondant, buttery sugar, cakey sugar, strawberry sugar and a slight nauseous feeling afterwards. Yay.

But it doesn’t compare to the horrendous swiss roll I made as a teen once. The cake hadn’t risen properly and was very, very dense. It couldn’t even roll. It broke when I tried and turned into a multi-layered gross sandwich.

Miri
Miri
19 days ago

@ Battering Lamb

In theory, it was a chocolate cake. That’s what it looked like. And it looked good, like, just, a regular piece of chocolate cake. Nice-looking cake, nice-looking layer of frosting.

But then, when I took a bite, I did not taste chocolate. Nor did I taste a disappointing version of chocolate. No, what I tasted was actual disappointment. Like waking up to reality after you’ve have a good dream, or having unmet expectations. Just. Actual disappointment.

Naglfar
Naglfar
19 days ago

My most disappointing cake experience was a cupcake. Like Miri’s, it was supposedly chocolate, but tasted like vomit instead.

Miri
Miri
19 days ago

@ Naglfar

Oh no that sucks

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
19 days ago

@Miri

Weren’t a diabetic chocolate cake by any chance? Had a bit of one of those once (Nan’s birthday, and she really, really wanted a damned cake for once) and … just no.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
19 days ago

[OT] OK, I have had it.

I DEMAND answers to all of the following questions.

1. Why am I treated like shit? I am treated noticeably worse than other people in my demographic and my geographic region, by both people and machines, and I want to know why.

2. Why am I constantly the subject of lies and false innuendos? This extends beyond people badmouthing me. Even THINGS badmouth me. If I do something that requires skill, in the presence of witnesses, a lot of the time the outcome is incorrect given my previously-demonstrated skill at the task in question. The effect is a false-light portrayal of me as having, say, only 80% of the competence that I actually have at that task. It always looks to other people as if I’m slacking, not pulling my weight, and half-assing things when I have actually put in a 100% effort, and that is frankly unacc-fucking-ceptable.

3. How do I make the stuff described in item 2, above, cease and desist IMMEDIATELY? In particular, how do I make it so that when I perform a skilled task the observable results are 100% reflective of the ACTUAL amount of skill and effort I invested in getting those results and NEVER ONE SINGLE FUCKING IOTA LESS?

4. Why is Ontario losing control of the fucking coronavirus? We were doing a great job of controlling it until early August and now the numbers indicate that we’re suddenly half-assing it, if even that much. I did not choose for us to start half-assing it. So why is this happening? How do I get back to where things were back in July (or better yet, January, when it wasn’t in Ontario at all)? I mean seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Why would everyone put in the needed effort to halt this thing’s spread and put its reproduction number well below 1 for months, and then just give up all of a sudden and let it spread aggressively again when it was down to only handfuls of cases left in most places? WHY GIVE UP AND LET IT SPREAD? And WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I CONSULTED ON THE DECISION TO DO SO? I demand to be consulted on ALL decisions whose consequences could affect me.

I am growing sick of this so-called “life” of mine, in which NOBODY ever treats me fairly, I am constantly being lied about and gaslit about my own capabilities and skills, and any time I am pleased about anything someone senses that and then goes out of their fucking way to ruin whatever-it-was. I demand the tools to fix all of these problems and live my life the way it’s fucking SUPPOSED to be lived, or I will fucking quit. You people have one week to provide some concrete, USEFUL answers or pointers.

Oh, and, preemptively: A USEFUL answer is not one that is physically impossible for me, requires moving to a different city or region, requires significant money to be spent, or similarly. I don’t have a vehicle and my monthly discretionary income is measured in the double fucking digits. It needs to be here and free to very cheap, or else someone else has to do it for me, full stop. The latter of course is preferred; after all, why should I, uniquely, be singled out to have to do some sort of extra effort that nobody else in the world has to put in, just to be treated like other people instead of, well, like how I currently get treated?

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
19 days ago

I demand

You people

Wow.

ETA: Okay, I should say more than just wow. But, wow.

Surplus, I want to sympathize with you, but when you DEMAND something from me, and then follow it up with emotional blackmail and an ultimatum, that makes my heart shrivel into a cold black coal that is actively resistant to helping you. You need to check yourself, hard.

Mog
Mog
19 days ago

@surplus to requirements
Hey, I’m not sure what’s going on with you or what your past history is with mental health, but it sounds like you don’t have a great sense of perspective about how other people relate to you at the moment. Do you have a health care provider you can check in with? We aren’t going to be able to provide the answers you are demanding on a forum like this, but I can see you need some help and support.

Miri
Miri
19 days ago

@ Threp

I have no idea. It might have been but I really just don’t know.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

* checks thread *
* peers around *
* backs away slowly *

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
19 days ago

OT

There was a possible attempted mass shooting at a gay bar in Missouri recently. Some asshole showed up with an Ar-15 and chased after a black guy there yelling slurs and that he was going to “kill these F*****s”. Fortunately the police stopped him before anyone was killed.

His lawyer said that he acting in self defense, somehow. Also he did it because he had depression, anxiety and ADHD (I checked and chasing people with guns yelling that you are going to kill LGBTIs is not a symptom of any of those)and was just mad that he lost his job/family causing him to turn to meth.

He got 46 months. Be out in less then four years.
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/09/man-brought-ar-15-gay-bar-shouted-killed-fats/

Anyway why do liberals want to take away our guns?

Contrapangloss
Contrapangloss
19 days ago

Couple things:

1) Wrong thread, but the new site is excellent for mobile (at least for me).

Great job, David!

And thanks for the suggestions that helped guide David’s prettifying efforts in the other thread, all you folks in the commentariat! I admittedly haven’t looked at the site on a computer yet, but wow. Much like.

2) Surplus, I’m just gonna second Mog on this one. I’m sorry you are hurting, but there’s nothing in my skillset that equips me to give you the help you need.

Miri
Miri
19 days ago

Also he did it because he had depression, anxiety and ADHD

*Sighs*

I have ADHD (with sides of depression and anxiety). The only person I am actively contemplating killing atm is this fucknut. I’m just. Very angry at him.

ChaosEngineer
ChaosEngineer
19 days ago

Why am I treated like shit? I am treated noticeably worse than other people in my demographic and my geographic region, by both people and machines, and I want to know why.

This is actually an easy one. If you think that machines have a grudge against you personally, then you’re suffering from what’s called “the blackpill” or “confirmation bias”. Basically you’ve trained yourself to focus on all the bad things that happen to you, and to ignore the good things. (And also to focus on good things that happen to other people while ignoring their problems.)

The solution is just to train yourself to focus on the good things that happen to you. (If nothing good ever happens, then focus on the times when things are the least-bad.)

So: You mentioned the specific case of COVID on Ontario. What you can do is say, “At least I’m in Canada and not stuck in the US.” I comfort myself by saying, “At least I’m in NYC where we take this seriously, and not trapped in the Deep South.” And probably the people in the Deep South are saying, “At least I’m free to go outside without a mask and I’m not under the Iron Bootheel of Canadian Socialism.”

If that doesn’t work then I just don’t know.

sunnysombrera
sunnysombrera
19 days ago

Oh I forgot to leave feedback on the new site too! I like it, especially the light purple background and large text. I too have only used mobile so far but I’m happy with what it looks like.

@Surplus
I’m sorry you’re hurting but please don’t take your pain out on us.

Amtep
Amtep
19 days ago

“… causing him to turn to meth …”

Only for a white guy could this be a defense, rather than an additional reason to lock him up.

Naglfar
Naglfar
19 days ago

I have anxiety and depression. Somehow I’ve never tried to shoot up a gay bar. Indeed, women, LGBTQIPA+ people, and minorities are far more likely to have anxiety and depression, yet the vast majority of shootings are by cishet white men. Gee, I wonder why that is.

I bet the “losing his family” bit was probably that he was abusive and his wife got out and had custody of the kids.

Klaaraa
Klaaraa
19 days ago

I’m ace and I find most Kinds of Sex I’ve tried and Most kinds of cake I’ve eaten both equally nice-but-boring, and I think “Don’t have Sex If you don’t want to” is more important in Most cases including this one than “If you dislike Sex this much you must be really Bad at it”

Bananananana dakry: Quarantine-Haired, still Fat and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Quarantine-Haired, still Fat and Deranged
19 days ago

lso he did it because he had depression, anxiety and ADHD

Oh, bullshit he did it because of that. I have depression, anxiety, and ADHD traits and not once has it caused me to want to shoot up people who like it in the bedroom differently from me. The pretzel logic used to justify white male temper tantrums is practically Klein bottle by now.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
19 days ago

Re the attempted shooting…oh my God. I can’t really process this and don’t really know what to say. I guess I shouldn’t be shocked anymore at the “lone wolf/mental illness/sad life” crap defences for these guys. But I am still shocked. No matter how often this happens. No matter how often the perpetrator’s guilt is determined not by their actions but by their skin colour or religion. I’m still shocked.

All the Lgbtq+ folks on here, and especially those who are also PoC, virtual hugs if you need/want them. I know you must be reeling right now.

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
19 days ago

Just for clarification if my comment needs it: “experiences mental illness” is NOT THE SAME THING as “is a violent bigot”. I really wish the media and law enforcement would stop conflating these things. 🙄

Who has seen the Spongebob gif with the text “asshole is not a mental illness”?

Lizzie
Lizzie
19 days ago

Surplus! Pay attention to me. People on this site are not trying to harm you, or to withhold information that would help you. You have your intelligence focused in the wrong direction. Use your intelligence to research better directions which may be more fruitful. You already know that the suggestions offered here, in good faith, are not what you are seeking.

This is not a medical site, a mental health site, a legal site etc. You will have seen that when commenters express concerns about such issues, other commenters will offer support, may say how such issues have affected them, and invariably recommend seeing a doctor, seeking therapy, accessing a law site, etc.

You are arguing with people who cannot help you with your specific concerns. Focus your attention on researching who can help you. You have mentioned being on a disability payment, think about why you were eligible, and think about what information and support groups exist in relation to that. Contact them.

And, it is never ok to threaten people that you will kill yourself if they don’t do what you want. Do not do that.

You have asked and demanded help from commenters here, and have said the help offered was no use. So stop seeking help from a satire site and use your intelligence to find a more appropriate source of information and assistance.

Catalpa
Catalpa
19 days ago

It would take one seriously awesome piece of cake to rival good sex.

Personally, I’d consider essentially any cake to be better than sex, and I don’t even particularly like cake. I’d rather have pie or cobbler.

Though I suppose my particular kind of sex-neutral asexuality precludes me being able to have “good” sex.

In that case though, “good” sex is rather tautological. I think that most things could be compared as better than others, if you only consider the “good” examples of whatever you’re talking about.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
19 days ago

Though I suppose my particular kind of sex-neutral asexuality precludes me being able to have “good” sex.

Why? Desire is certainly important, but it’s not totally necessary for “good” sex. Paying attention to your partner and not being clumsy is pretty much all that’s needed.

Not that I’m saying you should have sex, or anything like that – it’s just not being interested at all (I’m making an assumption that sex-neutral means you’re not repulsed by the thought. If I’m wrong, I apologise!) doesn’t necessarily mean bad sex.

Though having said that, some nights you just want cake 🙂 (crumble, in my case. Or rhubarb pie with cream)

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
19 days ago

His lawyer said that he acting in self defense, somehow. Also he did it because he had depression, anxiety and ADHD (I checked and chasing people with guns yelling that you are going to kill LGBTIs is not a symptom of any of those)and was just mad that he lost his job/family causing him to turn to meth.

Don’t have ADHD, have a history of depression and anxiety. Since the mental illness weighs heavier to these douche-canoos than access to guns, my lack of access is not a factor. I have never chased people with guns. It’s just really frustrating that what for others counts as an admission of guilt, for a white man it’s a mitigating factor. Sigh

Thanks for the cake insights. As for cake vs sex, an effort vs reward analysis favors cake, IMO. Sex is fun, but I can do without (same goes for cake, except ‘tasty’ as opposed to ‘fun’).

Regarding site design, I like the simplicity but personally prefer bright letters with a dark background. This is not as bad as bright white background with black letters (which I find really straining), but bright letters just jump out at me more.

Catalpa
Catalpa
18 days ago

Why? Desire is certainly important, but it’s not totally necessary for “good” sex. Paying attention to your partner and not being clumsy is pretty much all that’s needed.

In my experience, having sex is essentially emotionally equivalent to washing the dishes. It’s not a horrible experience, but it’s boring and a little bit gross.

Maybe sometimes I can experience a really nice time washing the dishes, with fun, nice-smelling bubbles in the sink and joking around with the person who’s helping me dry the dishes, but in the end it’s still a chore that I would prefer to not do. I’d rather spend the time joking around while not doing the dishes.

There’s never going to be a time where I wash the dishes and go “wow that was fantastic I’m really glad I got to do that rather than eat dessert”.

Naglfar
Naglfar
18 days ago

@Battering Lamb

I have never chased people with guns. It’s just really frustrating that what for others counts as an admission of guilt, for a white man it’s a mitigating factor.

That’s what really annoys me here. Guarantee that if he was a black man, the meth thing would have been used to justify worse punishment, assuming the cops didn’t just shoot him on site.

I think that having a better discussion about mental health is important, but this ain’t it. Murderous homophobic asshole is not a mental illness, and trying to paint it as one is harmful to people who do have mental illnesses.

Also, O/T but I just realized that on my computer, formatting in the comments appears in realtime.

Last edited 18 days ago by Naglfar
Sheila Crosby
Sheila Crosby
18 days ago

Depression can make you less bothered about self-preservation. It doesn’t make you cruel or violent.

Valentin
Valentin
18 days ago

Hi Iike the new site it’s cool. I’m just testing to see if my comment works.

I saw discussion of ace, i recenly realised i am ace and also dont like sex at all and that is okay and it doesnt mean I’m broken. So I consider that I’m asexual but bi-romantic.

Miri
Miri
18 days ago

@ Valentin

Welcome to the club! What cake would you like? (lol)

Bookworm in hijab
Bookworm in hijab
18 days ago

ChaosEngineer, thank you, because

Iron Bootheel of Canadian Socialism

is a fantastic phrase, and I will now use it whenever and wherever possible. 😆

Presumably the boot in question is a snowboot?

CanuckAmuck
CanuckAmuck
18 days ago

As an life-long borderline asexual, can we just bury this “Good sex is better than <i>anything</i> and if you don’t think so there’s something seriously wrong with you!” trope once and for all? Seriously.

Naglfar
Naglfar
18 days ago

@CanuckAmuck

As an life-long borderline asexual, can we just bury this “Good sex is better than anything and if you don’t think so there’s something seriously wrong with you!” trope once and for all? Seriously.

I’m not ace, but I wholeheartedly agree that we should get rid of that trope. It’s the same kind of logic that causes incels and MRAs to think sex is the be-all, end-all of human existence and obsess over it in extreme misogyny.