The manipulative and often just straight-up abusive dating “philosophy” promulgated on the Red Pill subreddit is bad news for any woman it’s inflicted upon. But it’s also bad news for the Red Pillers themselves, promoting a vision of the world as a cold, cruel place where no one gives a shit about anyone else.
“In the end, what’s the point of relationships,” a Red Piller called Jakos_8569 wonders aloud in the Ask The Red Pill subreddit. The answer he gives to his own question is somehow both plaintive and nihilistic; the fellow seems to have broken his own heart, or at least what remains of his heart after prolonged exposure to the Red Pill philosophy.
So we know that women love us conditionnally, just like everybody else, except our parents. We also know that we can’t talk to a plate/gf/ltr/wife about our anxieties, fears and expect them to provide emotional comfort and reassurance, like a friend would (we also hear many stories here about guys opening up or even crying in front of their girl only to see them gradually taking their distances or brekaing up with them).
This is someone who’s never had a real relationship with anyone.
We should keep our issues to ourselves and/or share them with intimate friends or a qualified therapist.
I’ll second the notion of going to a trained therapist, but seriously, if you can’t bring up your issues with your girlfriend because you’re afraid if you’re vulnerable in her presence she’ll flee, there’s something wrong with you (or her). You may have a relationship, of sorts, but it’s not a good one.
So we know we can’t rely on our woman during hard times. We’re on our own there.
This is ass-backwards; if you can’t rely on your partner during rough times, you’re either in a relationship so shallow it doesn’t really count as a relationship. Or you and her are both selfish shitheads.
Since that love is conditional, and also prone to hypergamy, it is also very unpredictable. All relationships end and if someone made “sacrifices” to keep the relationship going llike refusing a great job opportunity in another state to stay with the gf for whatever reason would be an investment gone in the wind.
Some relationships end only when one of the partners dies. People in relationships make compromises and, yes, sometimes sacrifice things they want to help their partner — even though they know there’s no guarantee that the relationships in question will last forever. Assuming the sacrifices aren’t too one-sided, they’re not investments gone wrong, they’re the sorts of favors that people who care about each other do for each other.
Well, what can we get from dating a woman then ? Sex ? Sure. The physical act itself is enjoyable, but far from meaningful: a brain fart of a dopamine rush for a few seconds.
If sex is no more meaningful to you than a brain fart, might I suggest that you’re perhaps not very good at it?
Just like the meaningless pleasure you could get from eating a high fat, high sugar food.
It would take one seriously awesome piece of cake to rival good sex.
This type of pleasure pales in comparison with, for example., the feeling of pride, and fullfilment from going to the gym consistently and lifting more and more weight through effort and discipline, building a business from scratch and making it profitable, learning to make music, hiking up a 4 mile high mountain etc..
If sex “pales” before a gym workout, you’re definitely not having good sex.
Then there’s the post sex oxytocin bath, where you start to feel a bond. But you know, deep down, that you can never be loved unconditionnally but only for what you can offer her.
Either you’re suffering from clinical depression or the Red Pill philosophy is seriously fucking up your brain.
To recap : we can’t have both sexual attraction and emotional support from a gf : her love is conditional. If you lose your job, are down on your luck, her “love” could go just as fast. Investing time with friends (male or female) who we could actually rely on seem to be much more beneficial. Then, that leaves the actual sexual gratification, which ultimately, isn’t of substance and even leaves us lethargic after the fact.
We got it already: you’re bad at sex.
My question is : Outside of the actual sex itself, is there any reason to even bother getting a relationship, doing the cuddling, getting attached etc ?
You talk about “doing the cuddling” like you’re doing time in prison. No wonder you can’t find your way into a healthy relationship.
It seems to me that the best way to go about this would be to simply enjoy the time spent for what it is (doing activites you truly enjoy , without ever INVESTING ANYTHING (not paying for anything, taking out of your time to help her out, undermining your opportunities in order to benefit her etc), and without any expectation of it lasting at all, without attachment just like you enjoy a sunset without trying to cling to it and when it’s gone well then it’s been fun while it lasted, and you move on. And the woman you’re doing things with, could be anyone, just like the sunset job could be fulfilled by any star.
Damn, you’re making me depressed not only about relationships but about sunsets.
At the end, is this just it ? If so, why the hell do so many people invest so much time and resources in finding a partner (even in this sub) in finding a partner and getting profoundly depressed when unable to ?
And bonus question : how could we even form families stable enough to raise children with this reality ?
Please. dude, don’t even think about starting a family when you’re in this state of mind. Or even dating anyone. Stick with gym workouts and the occasional piece of cake. Try not to fuck the cake.
Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!