The manipulative and often just straight-up abusive dating “philosophy” promulgated on the Red Pill subreddit is bad news for any woman it’s inflicted upon. But it’s also bad news for the Red Pillers themselves, promoting a vision of the world as a cold, cruel place where no one gives a shit about anyone else.
“In the end, what’s the point of relationships,” a Red Piller called Jakos_8569 wonders aloud in the Ask The Red Pill subreddit. The answer he gives to his own question is somehow both plaintive and nihilistic; the fellow seems to have broken his own heart, or at least what remains of his heart after prolonged exposure to the Red Pill philosophy.
So we know that women love us conditionnally, just like everybody else, except our parents. We also know that we can’t talk to a plate/gf/ltr/wife about our anxieties, fears and expect them to provide emotional comfort and reassurance, like a friend would (we also hear many stories here about guys opening up or even crying in front of their girl only to see them gradually taking their distances or brekaing up with them).
This is someone who’s never had a real relationship with anyone.
We should keep our issues to ourselves and/or share them with intimate friends or a qualified therapist.
I’ll second the notion of going to a trained therapist, but seriously, if you can’t bring up your issues with your girlfriend because you’re afraid if you’re vulnerable in her presence she’ll flee, there’s something wrong with you (or her). You may have a relationship, of sorts, but it’s not a good one.
So we know we can’t rely on our woman during hard times. We’re on our own there.
This is ass-backwards; if you can’t rely on your partner during rough times, you’re either in a relationship so shallow it doesn’t really count as a relationship. Or you and her are both selfish shitheads.
Since that love is conditional, and also prone to hypergamy, it is also very unpredictable. All relationships end and if someone made “sacrifices” to keep the relationship going llike refusing a great job opportunity in another state to stay with the gf for whatever reason would be an investment gone in the wind.
Some relationships end only when one of the partners dies. People in relationships make compromises and, yes, sometimes sacrifice things they want to help their partner — even though they know there’s no guarantee that the relationships in question will last forever. Assuming the sacrifices aren’t too one-sided, they’re not investments gone wrong, they’re the sorts of favors that people who care about each other do for each other.
Well, what can we get from dating a woman then ? Sex ? Sure. The physical act itself is enjoyable, but far from meaningful: a brain fart of a dopamine rush for a few seconds.
If sex is no more meaningful to you than a brain fart, might I suggest that you’re perhaps not very good at it?
Just like the meaningless pleasure you could get from eating a high fat, high sugar food.
It would take one seriously awesome piece of cake to rival good sex.
This type of pleasure pales in comparison with, for example., the feeling of pride, and fullfilment from going to the gym consistently and lifting more and more weight through effort and discipline, building a business from scratch and making it profitable, learning to make music, hiking up a 4 mile high mountain etc..
If sex “pales” before a gym workout, you’re definitely not having good sex.
Then there’s the post sex oxytocin bath, where you start to feel a bond. But you know, deep down, that you can never be loved unconditionnally but only for what you can offer her.
Either you’re suffering from clinical depression or the Red Pill philosophy is seriously fucking up your brain.
To recap : we can’t have both sexual attraction and emotional support from a gf : her love is conditional. If you lose your job, are down on your luck, her “love” could go just as fast. Investing time with friends (male or female) who we could actually rely on seem to be much more beneficial. Then, that leaves the actual sexual gratification, which ultimately, isn’t of substance and even leaves us lethargic after the fact.
We got it already: you’re bad at sex.
My question is : Outside of the actual sex itself, is there any reason to even bother getting a relationship, doing the cuddling, getting attached etc ?
You talk about “doing the cuddling” like you’re doing time in prison. No wonder you can’t find your way into a healthy relationship.
It seems to me that the best way to go about this would be to simply enjoy the time spent for what it is (doing activites you truly enjoy , without ever INVESTING ANYTHING (not paying for anything, taking out of your time to help her out, undermining your opportunities in order to benefit her etc), and without any expectation of it lasting at all, without attachment just like you enjoy a sunset without trying to cling to it and when it’s gone well then it’s been fun while it lasted, and you move on. And the woman you’re doing things with, could be anyone, just like the sunset job could be fulfilled by any star.
Damn, you’re making me depressed not only about relationships but about sunsets.
At the end, is this just it ? If so, why the hell do so many people invest so much time and resources in finding a partner (even in this sub) in finding a partner and getting profoundly depressed when unable to ?
And bonus question : how could we even form families stable enough to raise children with this reality ?
Please. dude, don’t even think about starting a family when you’re in this state of mind. Or even dating anyone. Stick with gym workouts and the occasional piece of cake. Try not to fuck the cake.
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It’s truly bizarre how it never even occurs to red pillers when they muse on this subject that some people like their significant others as people and want to spend time with them. They’re so deeply into their worldview of all relationships and all interactions being inherently transactional that it never even crosses their minds that some people just like their partners.
The zero sum world view imposed by the Red Pill philosophy is truly destructive. On some level, I feel sorry for the men who fall into it at first, but then I remember how horrible they are to everyone else and I have a hard time feeling sorry.
This is a toxic masculinity thing, and he is so close to getting that, but missing the mark completely at the last minute. If I was in a relationship with someone who didn’t feel safe sharing their emotions with me, I would probably try to find someone else, as that isn’t a healthy relationship. I’d also try to find a new relationship if I felt that I couldn’t share my emotions with my partner.
I might also think, if they don’t enjoy sex, have they considered finding a world view that doesn’t center it as the be-all, end-all? The Red Pill views sex purely as transactional and a status symbol, which leaves it devoid of any sort of pleasure.
Some commenter here mentioned that certain foods can make some people orgasm spontaneously, so if that’s true then it might be possible.
Then either you’re a terrible boyfriend or your girlfriend is very unsupportive, probably the former.
Wait, I thought the Red Pill said men couldn’t be friends with women. I admit I’m surprised to see this.
This is possibly TMI, but I thought most people liked being tired out after sex and falling asleep with a partner. Is he possibly anorgasmic?
I think most people like those things. At least, I do
If the sun were to be replaced by another star, however, unless that star were exactly like the sun, the Earth might no longer be in the habitable zone and life wouldn’t exist.
He should try connecting to reality first, that might be a bit hard given how Red Pill beliefs are totally disconnected.
Just so close to realizing Red Pill philosophy sucks for all parties, but no cigar.
I’ve known waaaaay more women supporting “down on their luck” men than the reverse; from the outside it looks like he’s mooching and she tolerates it for years and supports him while he plays video games all day because she loves him. Redpillers don’t seem to account for this in their worldview …
I’m also confused by the “both” in that first sentence. You can have sexual attraction OR emotional support? You can totally have emotional support, as long as you’re dating someone to whom you’re not physically attracted? How does this work?
Yep, sounds like a mooch.
And yet somehow it manages to happen, so could the problem be with your premises or … ???
The red pill is a dangerous depressant. If someone tries to get you to take one, just say no.
OT
Why do liberals want to take away our guns?
https://www.lgbtqnation.com/2020/09/man-brought-ar-15-gay-bar-shouted-killed-fats/
Sometimes I start to feel sorry for the these people, but then I remember what they’re like, how hateful they are, how void of compassion they are… I suppose I feel something like pity for them, but it’s a pity heavily overlayed with disgust.
@freneticferret
Same here.
@Naglfar:
Not to mention that unlike the possibility of “replacing” a current relationship partner with a new one, it is literally physically impossible for Earth humans to acquire a different star to source our sunsets from.
Talk about your “one and only” committed relationships with a built-in power imbalance! When it comes to the sun, we are all, literally, beta orbiters.
It’s almost as though fundamental facts of planetary astrophysics tend not to make very good metaphors for human relationships. Which you might think that even RedPillers would be able to figure out for themselves, but apparently you would be wrong.
I mean it might just be me being a sex-repulsed ace but I think any piece of cake is better than sex.
Actually. I just remembered that I had a piece of cake that literally tasted like disappointment. That particular piece of cake would probably be worse than sex.
I swear, I tried to edit that stray semicolon. The Edit Monster lied about how much time I had left in which to edit. Also, I don’t understand the double and triple vertical red lines in the left margin. I’m certain my quote codes were correct. Damn you, Blockquote Monster!
Okay, it looks like my first post disappeared. I’ll repeat just one thing:
Yes, it’s strange that a person you call a “plate” won’t provide comfort and reassurance. After all, it’s not as though you tried to strip her of her humanity.
I think there’s hope for this kid. He can still articulate a desire for a relationship that offers mutual intimacy. He still thinks men have friends and loving parents. He can also still string together a sentence that makes logical sense, without (much) red pill jargon, contemptuous references to female genitalia or abusing a thesaurus.
Let’s hope he gets out before he completely rots his brain and ruins his life. Or someone else’s.
Dude?
Maybe making your bed out of hair sheets on a barbed wire mattress weren’t a good idea, right?
Dolt.
OK, now I’m really curious what kind of cake that was. Though my palate isn’t much more refined than ‘whelp, that sure tastes like food’ I’m always intrigued and baffled by such descriptions of taste.
@Kimstu
And trying to get closer results in death.
Or you have a very fancy gym.
@Lukas Xavier
Or they’re doing a very specific kind of workout.
@Battering Lamb
I’m not Miri, but the most disappointing cake I ever ate was a swedish princess cake in Helsinki. I was excited because I had seen a YouTube video recipe in the recent past and wanted to try one for myself.
It tasted of little but sugar. I’m pretty sure the marzipan was actually fondant. The custard/whipped cream part was buttercream and had a gravelly texture to it, also from too much sugar. The cake was dense and dry, the only other noticeable flavour apart from sugar was the jam between the cake layers.
So: fondant, buttery sugar, cakey sugar, strawberry sugar and a slight nauseous feeling afterwards. Yay.
But it doesn’t compare to the horrendous swiss roll I made as a teen once. The cake hadn’t risen properly and was very, very dense. It couldn’t even roll. It broke when I tried and turned into a multi-layered gross sandwich.
@ Battering Lamb
In theory, it was a chocolate cake. That’s what it looked like. And it looked good, like, just, a regular piece of chocolate cake. Nice-looking cake, nice-looking layer of frosting.
But then, when I took a bite, I did not taste chocolate. Nor did I taste a disappointing version of chocolate. No, what I tasted was actual disappointment. Like waking up to reality after you’ve have a good dream, or having unmet expectations. Just. Actual disappointment.
My most disappointing cake experience was a cupcake. Like Miri’s, it was supposedly chocolate, but tasted like vomit instead.
@ Naglfar
Oh no that sucks
@Miri
Weren’t a diabetic chocolate cake by any chance? Had a bit of one of those once (Nan’s birthday, and she really, really wanted a damned cake for once) and … just no.
[OT] OK, I have had it.
I DEMAND answers to all of the following questions.
1. Why am I treated like shit? I am treated noticeably worse than other people in my demographic and my geographic region, by both people and machines, and I want to know why.
2. Why am I constantly the subject of lies and false innuendos? This extends beyond people badmouthing me. Even THINGS badmouth me. If I do something that requires skill, in the presence of witnesses, a lot of the time the outcome is incorrect given my previously-demonstrated skill at the task in question. The effect is a false-light portrayal of me as having, say, only 80% of the competence that I actually have at that task. It always looks to other people as if I’m slacking, not pulling my weight, and half-assing things when I have actually put in a 100% effort, and that is frankly unacc-fucking-ceptable.
3. How do I make the stuff described in item 2, above, cease and desist IMMEDIATELY? In particular, how do I make it so that when I perform a skilled task the observable results are 100% reflective of the ACTUAL amount of skill and effort I invested in getting those results and NEVER ONE SINGLE FUCKING IOTA LESS?
4. Why is Ontario losing control of the fucking coronavirus? We were doing a great job of controlling it until early August and now the numbers indicate that we’re suddenly half-assing it, if even that much. I did not choose for us to start half-assing it. So why is this happening? How do I get back to where things were back in July (or better yet, January, when it wasn’t in Ontario at all)? I mean seriously, WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON? Why would everyone put in the needed effort to halt this thing’s spread and put its reproduction number well below 1 for months, and then just give up all of a sudden and let it spread aggressively again when it was down to only handfuls of cases left in most places? WHY GIVE UP AND LET IT SPREAD? And WHY THE FUCK WASN’T I CONSULTED ON THE DECISION TO DO SO? I demand to be consulted on ALL decisions whose consequences could affect me.
I am growing sick of this so-called “life” of mine, in which NOBODY ever treats me fairly, I am constantly being lied about and gaslit about my own capabilities and skills, and any time I am pleased about anything someone senses that and then goes out of their fucking way to ruin whatever-it-was. I demand the tools to fix all of these problems and live my life the way it’s fucking SUPPOSED to be lived, or I will fucking quit. You people have one week to provide some concrete, USEFUL answers or pointers.
Oh, and, preemptively: A USEFUL answer is not one that is physically impossible for me, requires moving to a different city or region, requires significant money to be spent, or similarly. I don’t have a vehicle and my monthly discretionary income is measured in the double fucking digits. It needs to be here and free to very cheap, or else someone else has to do it for me, full stop. The latter of course is preferred; after all, why should I, uniquely, be singled out to have to do some sort of extra effort that nobody else in the world has to put in, just to be treated like other people instead of, well, like how I currently get treated?
Wow.
ETA: Okay, I should say more than just wow. But, wow.
Surplus, I want to sympathize with you, but when you DEMAND something from me, and then follow it up with emotional blackmail and an ultimatum, that makes my heart shrivel into a cold black coal that is actively resistant to helping you. You need to check yourself, hard.
@surplus to requirements
Hey, I’m not sure what’s going on with you or what your past history is with mental health, but it sounds like you don’t have a great sense of perspective about how other people relate to you at the moment. Do you have a health care provider you can check in with? We aren’t going to be able to provide the answers you are demanding on a forum like this, but I can see you need some help and support.