Women lure men into marriage with baked goods, MGTOW Redditors warn

In my experience, job hunting involves quite a lot of “doing the same thing over and over again while expecting different results”. I seem to recall there being another name for that …

Perhaps let’s not say or imply people who can’t find a job are lazy? At least not until the economy improves to at least, say, 1990s levels.

One human interest story about a family in Italy doesn’t actually prove that millennials are more inclined to laziness and don’t look for jobs.

It’s not one family. If you’d read it, you’d see that.

There are hundreds of thousands of similar cases, the lawyer said, adding that one of three divorce claims are related to the financial support of the couple’s adult children.
The court, Gassani said, “has put some limits to avert the always more endless request of financial support also by children in their forties.”

@ threp

it were made by Lucas

Heh, how to pin someone down to a country and time period in five words.

Related: Did you know Ridley Scott based Weyland-Yutani on the British car industry in the 70’s?

He envisaged Leyland being taken over by one of the Japanese manufacturers.

Which is why the company in Alien has hi-tech machinery and terrible employee relationships.

@ Lenona,

I’m not sure you’re moving the goalposts so much as not articulating your meaning clearly, so I’ll give it to you that yes, you weren’t talking about traditionally multi-generational families. However, regardless of our backgrounds, if we live in the same country we absorb a lot of the same norms. So, although in my community it’s normal for kids to live with their parents well into adulthood, we are still influenced by, and judged according to, the dominant-culture’s narrative saying that this is not ok. We still go to college/university where our fellow students consider it weird or immature for us to live at home; we still work with colleagues who make fun of it.

I can only imagine how much more this must hurt for those who, culturally, do not come from backgrounds where living at home into adulthood is accepted. The stigma and judgement they face…

Your intentions may have been good; I don’t have any personal reasons to believe otherwise. But perpetuating these harmful stereotypes about adult-children-at-home can only lead to harm for many people. So why repeat them?

There are stereotypes and stereotypes. Some are only 5% true and others are 80% true. If what I mentioned has changed tremendously over the last two decades, or so, then of course I was wrong.

Or in the case of gay men loving one night stands as a matter of course, and lesbians not loving them as a matter of course, 0% true, and has been for decades.

Stereotyping entire groups of other people is always going to be problematic. Lesbians and gay men are diverse, the very act of stereotyping them removes their humanity. Stop doing that. I don’t think that you are a bigoted or a bad person, but I do think that you need to listen more, and talk less when you get pushback. You have some limited experiences, and those lead you to make faulty generalizations.

I used to tangle with a few MRAs (at now-defunct forums) just to make them mad.

Cool. You seem to have internalized some of their shit then. The association between feminism and judges awarding alimony seems to be mostly a bugaboo of MRAs. Which is why I wondered exactly where you picked it up, since it’s weird for a feminist to talk this way.

“then chances are more and more young women would start saying “we don’t want our husbands, brothers and sons to be hampered by alimony payments to THEIR exes – it’s time for alimony to go.” But, we’ll have to wait and see.”

Uh, why exactly should women care about their husbands, brothers, and sons paying alimony? The “hampering” of their lives/finances isn’t the alimony, the “hampering” is the dissolution of the financial side of a romantic relationship. Co-habiting and married couples are basically business partners, dissolving that has financial consequences, just like dissolving a business through a bankruptcy would have financial consequences. Think of a brother, son, or husband going through a bankruptcy because of a failed buisness adventure. Sure you wouldn’t wish this experience on them, but you prolly wouldn’t view them as a victim of consequences out of their control either.

Alimony has one sole purpose- so that the full cost of the dissolution of the relationship is shared, and is not shouldered by one person. It’s an equalizer, not a punitive measure. Imo the real problem men have with alimony isn’t that men can’t afford to pay it, it’s that men view losing financial control to a judge as emasculating. Money is power in our society, and nothing is as disempowering as having to start counting pennies because you’re involuntarily sharing the costs of a breakup.

@Lenona

all I was trying to do was point out that those parents who DO want one kid – or all of them – to leave, often simply didn’t communicate that more firmly, years in advance.

That’s not what you said originally.

If people suspect they’re being judged behind their backs for their loving, centuries-old family traditions, maybe they could try casually dropping anecdotes about how well such-and-such works for them, without accusing anyone.

And if people have extremely generalizing statements and tired stereotypes, maybe they could try keeping that to themselves.

That suggests that even real-life parents who WANT their kids to leave but, like Dustin’s parents, are too wimpy, are too embarrassed to admit it.)

Or that it’s none of your business how other people structure families and have living arrangements.

@Lenona,

I’m not sure where to begin with your last comment. It seems like you’re suggesting that if Person A says something offensive to Person B, then it’s incumbent on Person B to find a pleasant, non-confrontational, smoothing-things-over way to rebut it. “Casually dropping anecdotes”, for example, though never in a “hostile tone of voice”, and being very sure to avoid “accusing anyone”.

I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt that you are, at base, a well-meaning person. And to be honest, it’s late and I’m really done with rehashing this particular topic. So I’ll just end with this: I am so incredibly tired of well-meaning people urging politeness in the face of stereotypes and rudeness (and worse, of course). If you don’t understand why I might be tired of this — why a lot of people are tired of this — you have some learning to do.

@Lenona

You lost the benefit of the doubt when you went through a creepy obsessives rant about teenagers sex lives you creep.

@Lenona

Here is the thing and i know your going to hate this cause your a weirdo who has to be involved in other peoples personal business like some overly creepy home owners association freak, but i fully expect my husband to take care of me. It’s one of the reasons i married him. It was in his vows to me. There is going to be a time when I’m probably almost completely dependent on him, at least for a learning curve.

See I have sever Macular degeneration. Which means i am slowly going blind. Sure I can see fine now with my glasses, but it gets worse ever year and there will probably be a learning curve once i lose my visions since I’m used to having it all my life. My husband knows this. He fully signed up for a partner that is going to slowly be disabled.

I really think it’s no ones business but the people in a relationship what they do. Even if that means the husband supports the wife which you seem to really hate. So you can get some big owl middle fingers from me, shove it up your ass, get drunk near some railroads while you rant to some kids doing it in a fogged up car that their hearts are going to get broken and it will be the worst fucking thing on the planet.

(i know this seems harsh but Lenona rubs me a very wrong way)

It seems that much like the thread about teens’ sex lives, Lenona has stopped responding. She’ll probably show up later to do the same thing in another thread.

Originally I was willing to give the benefit of the doubt, but it’s getting harder and harder now that she keeps doubling down on stereotypes and repeatedly moving the goalposts with “you know what I meant.”

@PoM,

I moved out of my apartment and into my parents’ upstairs bedroom for 10 years to save money.

You know, I think that it would be so good for so many people if we accepted this as common across a variety of cultures. It doesn’t have to be a “traditional thing” to make it ok. Strong bonds across generations are great and so beneficial for everyone involved.

Our parents won’t be around forever. If we get to spend more time with them, and develop an understanding of them when we are adults ourselves, that’s actually awesome.

* obviously some people are in situations where this wouldn’t work out well; that’s different.

I haven’t read the funnies in a long time, so i wasn’t sure which comic ‘Dustin’ is. I googled it, found the wiki article, and it is a SCREAM.

This is most of the article, describing the characters. I recommend @Lenona reads *this* description, so she can see that perhaps it is still around because people interpret it like this, instead. The wiki editor is FIRMLY on Dustin’s side.

Dustin Kudlick, the titular character of the comic strip. A 23-year-old college graduate who has failed to find regular employment in the current economy after graduating and thus moved back home to live with his parents. He is constantly trapped in a cycle of dead-end temp jobs and grueling manual labor, frequently shown putting in long hours at a car wash or asking his supervisor at the temp agency for more career-enhancing assignments that might help him break out of the cycle of wage slavery. He also deals with trouble in developing relationships with women, and is a budding inventor. Despite his dysfunctional family atmosphere, Dustin remains stoic, a heroic everyman and inspiration to the reader, as he endures and strives, trying to find financial stability, a sense of vocation, acceptance from his family, and even happiness itself.

Ed Kudlick, Dustin’s father, is an angry, bitter lawyer who despises Dustin’s apparent laziness. Ed is never supportive in any way, and always seeks to crush Dustin’s attempts to find meaning and useful employment, ceaselessly mocking his son and putting him down; the only thing they have in common is their love of golf.

Helen Kudlick, Dustin’s mother, is a radio advice talk-show host of “Here’s Helen,” who occasionally endures one airheaded marijuana-advocate caller named Carl with some of his crazy questions. Always keeping faith that her son will do well eventually, even though she does have a shopaholic problem, especially over shoes.

Megan Kudlick, Dustin’s teenaged sister, seven years younger than her brother, also resides in the house. A bit of an overachiever, she tends to follow their father’s example in insulting and undercutting Dustin at every possible turn, showing how poor parenting can poison the next generation as well. But at times they do share moments of true sibling bonding, and she often encourages him to keep trying.

Simone Fontenot, the salty owner of TurboTemps, a one-woman employment agency. Simone provides Dustin with temporary job assignments and unending criticism, sarcasm and almost always mispronounces his last name.

The rest of this is @Lenona.

Re: women being ashamed of the age – that’s a misogynistic thing, i hate to tell you. It’s because older women have no value, because the only value a woman has in this society is her youth, her beauty, and her virginity.

Older/old women have experience, and that isn’t valued like it is with old men. (Ageism does catch men as well!! For sure! But not like it catches women.)

Men aren’t often asked their age, while women often are.

Though, as i get older, i see this happening as millenials are aging and talking to their much younger coworkers about things. I usually goes something like “wait, you were born in 1999? I graduated high school in 1999! Omg i’m so old.”

Re: second wave feminism that you’re so fond of –

No. *spritzes you in the face with a water bottle* bad. We’ve moved on. Do some more modern reading. And, like you, i won’t link to anything that would give context.

Re: your quotes –

JUST STOP. They never help you make your point, and (as i said in the last thread), you never link to the source, so we can read it for ourselves.

You strike me as a person who likes to drop quotes in everyday conversation, to support your points. It might help you sound smart IRL, but here it’s just frustrating.

If you can’t link to it, DON’T USE IT.

Re: those damn lazy kids, staying in their parents home when the parents expected them to leave!!!!!!

http://vjmpublishing.nz/wp-content/uploads/2019/11/boomers.jpg

As an elder millenial, i find it fucking hilarious that you’re bellyaching about adults staying with their parents longer. Fuck all the way off with that bullshit. And then further.

My ‘coming of age’ has so far included the dot com bubble bursting, the recession, and a global pandemic that will lead to another recession.

I am lucky enough that i found a job in the field i studied, and that it paid well enough that i could pay off ny student debt, and now can save for retirement.

I know that all the money i’m saving is going to disappear, though. I know, since i don’t have a pension, that i will be working until i die.

I know that, barring a literal million dollars falling on me from the sky, i will never own a home.

And if you are all ‘move to a cheaper area’: no. My work is in the city i live in. While i could decide to WFH permanently, i hate doing it. I am basically trapped in this city that i can only afford because i got here 10 years ago, and rented my current place 7ish years ago.

What the HELL do you think young people should do, now? Rent is more than anyone unemployed or under employed can afford, we’re in a pamdemic so most of the underpaying jobs aren’t hiring, and also *it isn’t safe to be out right now*.

Re: how do i blockquote – if we needed any proof that you don’t actually read all the threads… i already told you this (end of an admittedly long comment), in the last thread.

Kupo also posted how to do it, in a comment that was short and to the point.

I know you figured it out, this was just frustrating to see.

Re: benefit of the doubt – ELL OH ELL

Maybe when you address the harmful stereotypes you presented AS TRUTH in your first post, we’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.

And i quote:

As I understand it, one-night stands are appealing and at least somewhat Mutually Beneficial to many gay male adults. Not so with adult lesbians, as a rule. Also, just because an ADULT female shouldn’t expect a phone call after a one-night stand, that doesn’t mean that any teen boy can – or should – expect any teen girl to LIKE the idea of a one-night stand in the first place. (A “summer romance,” maybe, but that’s a different story.)

Also, we are actually giving you the benefit of the doubt, here. How many people have said ‘i don’t think you’re a troll’??? If we weren’t giving it to you, people would be batting you around as if you were a troll, instead of talking to you as if you came here in good faith, and might learn something.

If you mean: “please assume i am a good person!” – no.

See the quote above for why i assume you are, at best, someone who took some courses in college in the 70s and stopped learning after them. At worst, you’re just here to say things that are so blatantly wrong that people respond, and you’re laughing at winding us all up.

The second one is a definition of a troll.

The first one almost is as well, since if you come here presenting yourself as open to learning and discussion, but refusing to listen or learn… you’re also effectively trolling.

Annnnd /end. XD i just had to share the character descriptions of that comic, which are so hilariously against what Lenona said!!!!