By David Futrelle
Fellas! Watch out! Women will do anything to trap men into marrying them — including baking!
I learned this today in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.
![Bronzeraptor 2 points 7 hours ago
True story:
While dating, my wife used to be into baking and I would get a ton of baked goods to eat. Once rings went on her finger, suddenly she wasn't interested in baking anymore. "It's too much work.." "We don't have the space..", etc. The wave of excuses continued
It's just a trap my bro
[–]jws755[S] 1 point 5 hours ago
My ex did the same prior to the wedding. The baked goods and blowjobs both ended about a year after the honeymoon.](https://i2.wp.com/wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/yrftuvygibu.png?fit=600%2C694&ssl=1)
You’re just sitting there enjoying an endless stream of pies and cupcakes and freshly baked bread and the next thing you know you’re stuck in a loveless marriage without even a dinner roll to your name.
THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU.
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I’m a pretty darn good baker, and when I bring something to a work carry-in, it’s really tasty and looks great. When the men I work with don’t like it, or it’s not their favorite, it’s totally fine by me. Most are super apologetic, as if I take it personally that what I make is not to their liking. They offer this without my asking if they liked it, or me even noticing that they didn’t take any of what I brought. This has been over many different men over many years. They always respond like I am seeking their approval for something I’m good at and enjoy. I guess I was setting traps?
Of course most of them bring in something their wives made. After a compliment on one dish, this dude actually said, “My wife made it. I think I’ll keep her.”
The division with the chemists? Those men are awesome cooks. Never ever miss a brisket cook off, a chili cook off, crock pots of soup, or the huge trays of baked goods this one lovely man brings in. Honestly, when the email goes out, you can hear people leaving their offices and heading to the collaboration area.
@Laserqueen
The discussion of different sciences doing cook offs reminds me of this XKCD comic:
Do they cook over Bunsen burners?
@Lenona
That’s essentially the argument for paying people very well indeed to handle garbage and excrement.
I like to bake, but with only two people in the household, one of whom is diabetic, I can’t let myself do it very often.
I also like to collect the easiest possible recipes that still work. Current fave is Cockeyed Cake/Wacky Cake, which can be found on a bunch of different websites and in Peg Bracken’s I Hate to Cook Book (1960). I add some chocolate chips and instant coffee to the mix, plus an extra spoonful of cocoa.
@Naglfar
Nope. No food in chemistry labs. The stuff they deal with is nasty! Maybe at home though!
Thanks for the XKCD, I hadn’t seen that one.
@Ohlmann
… what? How? Do… the pigeons survive? They have a cloaca, how can it be cost-effective to do what must be an internal procedure on both sexes when birds die from like basically any blood loss… they only live 5 years to begin with, will it really affect the breeding population? I never heard of this before but have so many questions.
I am not sure how they do that TBH, I just know there are large scale pigeon sterilization campaign, because thoses reproduce way too fast and are super harmful to houses.
Maybe it’s actually just 5 years worth of contraceptive pills.
@Laserqueen
I was originally joking, but I would imagine a Bunsen burner could be used in a kitchen setting at home. Since it probably would be hard to use as an effective gas stove, maybe it could be used like a blow torch, for instance for crème brûlée. Though that would go against standard procedures for its use, it seems possible.
It’s shocking that when women don’t cook or bake, it’s bad because feminism is ruining women’s ability to be domestic. But then it’s also bad when we do cook or bake because we’re trying to trap men. I just can’t believe that in the manuresphere, everything women do is wrong!
I read somewhere (could even have been on WHTM, probably!) that one of the best, most cost-effective and even cheapest (and certainly most humane) ways to reduce the feral urban pigeon population is to provide them with attractive nesting sites (effectively reproducing the urban pigeon-lofts that most of their ancestors were purposely bred in and then turfed out of when pigeon-keeping fell out of favour), complete with food and water, and just keep replacing their eggs with fakes; population plummets.
Cheaper (modest initial investment, plus requires far fewer people and person-hours) and safer than shooting or poisoning or trapping or whatever else people keep trying.
I think it’s being done somewhere in Germany (??? my memory is rubbish, maybe someone knows?)
@Naglfar: I’d think a magnetic stirrer might be more useful in a kitchen situation than a Bunsen burner.
@opposablethumbs
If we did that, would it be safe to cook and eat the real eggs?
@Nequam
Oh I’ve always wanted a magnetic stirrer at home. We have a stainless steel blender that can be immaculately cleaned. We use it to properly fluff PTFE powder to press into optical standards. There’s never even been a margarita joke about that blender come to think of it.
When more people come back to work, I’ll ask around and see if anyone has tried a stirrer for cooking.
@Laserqueen
If you want a magnetic stirrer for the kitchen, I think they make stirrers with built-in heating elements so you could heat and stir things at the same time.
Like this one.
@Naglfar,
I expect pigeon eggs are just as nutritious as any other bird’s, but feral urban pigeons are notoriously prone to parasites and diseases (probably at least in part because of the urban environment). I’d guess this might make their eggs unsuitable for consumption.
(don’t know how they compare with wild pigeons)
Naglfar, that brings to mind a classic 19th-century fantasy by George MacDonald:
https://en.m.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Princess_and_the_Goblin/Chapter_3
The second illustration is by Jessie Willcox Smith. She studied under Howard Pyle.
As a kid, I vaguely thought that the very existence of pigeons in the countryside was practically magical; I didn’t know that, aside from the old practice of rich people keeping dovecotes (for pigeon pies), pigeons are also known as rock doves, so of COURSE you might find them in mountainous country – or even just hanging around a castle. (Which makes the adult reader wonder even more, early on – is this really all just in young Irene’s imagination?)
WWTH: I like to say that on the one hand, yes, it’s too bad that starting in the 1970s, the role of the housewife got such a bad rap, since that wasn’t exactly the best way to get boys to do their share of the chores without complaining bitterly. However, one would think that by now, conservatives would realize that SOMETHING had to be done to get girls to think twice before throwing away their opportunities, whether after high school or after college. As an abandoned “happy housewife” said in 1987: “if you lose your husband you can’t go down to the employment agency and apply for a new one!”
And speaking of kids who hate chores…one simple solution, which, amazingly, most North American parents don’t seem to use, is to rotate chores, not every day or even every week, but every Four Months or so – or until everyone learns a set of chores to perfection, whichever comes second. Not only are kids more likely to take pride in their work when they have to practice so much, but they also clearly can’t lie and say “it’s not my turn!” Also, that way, parents can figure out more easily who is the real slacker in the family.
Also, it would prevent scenes like this one, since, with a four-month plan, the mother could simply walk in and say “you KNOW what chore you should have done by now – so WHY HAVEN’T YOU DONE IT?”
https://fborfw.com/strip_fix/wednesday-april-11-1990/
MGTOW think married men are “enslaved” by their wives, while also thinking it’s the wife’s job to do chores such as cooking and baking.
I just realized there’s an amusing parallel to a famous betrayal in the Finnish epic Kalevala, where a wealthy farm woman pranks her serf (an actual enslaved man) by baking a stone inside his bread. He then goes on a murder rampage, in a painstaking demonstration of the age old trope “women laugh at men, men kill women in response”.
Quoting canto 33, lines 81-102 (translation by Keith Bosley, Oxford university press, 1987):
@Lenona
Would it be at all possible to use blockquotes to quote the specific comment or part of a comment you are responding to? It makes things a lot easier to follow.
I think it’s more that that was when feminists pointed out that not all women wanted to be housewives and shouldn’t have to. I’d never want to be a housewife, but I have nothing against women who do choose to be housewives (or for that matter people of any gender who are homemakers) so long as it is their choice and not something imposed upon them.
WTF. Do you really mix it up in the pan? How do you mix it up in the pan adequately if the pan is greased, without messing up the grease? Can’t I just mix it in a bowl and pour it into the pan???
@Lumipuna
To be fair, our lad had a whole lot of pent-up anger about the whole ‘being enslaved’ part, which rather overwhelms gender relationships in this context. Also, IIRC she and her husband had been involved in murdering his whole family, so there’s that too. The moral of that story is “don’t be a genocidal slaver”, not “dudes overreact to minor provocations”.
@PoM
You could do that, but then you would need to wash more dishes afterwards.
I admit that’s what I’ve been doing.
@Sheila
I was coming here to say this. Did she stop doing nice things for him because he turned into a lazy, entitled pig who did nothing nice for her and just added to her burden? Miggies seem like the type to do this. Of course, if you asked them, they’d claim to be some long suffering saint.
Some creep on Twitter is attacking the woman who’s onlyfans I’m subscribed too and I made a mistake and now I’ve triggered myself pretty hard. I don’t know what else to do with these feelings and panic so I’m posting it here.
@Sheila
This thing is pretty amusing to me, since I seem to recall my mother saying something about my father cooking for her before they got married. This tapered off in the early days of married life. The breakfasts were the last to go, apparently. Not that I know enough to say if this was an intentional move on his part, but I’m pretty sure miggies and their ilk would probably congratulate him on his tactic, since these things are only bad if women do them.
Though maybe it’s just baking that’s bad? Wily females lure you in with baked goods, while honest, hard-working men will demonstrate their cooking skills so that, later on, you know he can, he just doesn’t?