By David Futrelle
Fellas! Watch out! Women will do anything to trap men into marrying them — including baking!
I learned this today in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit.
![Bronzeraptor 2 points 7 hours ago
True story:
While dating, my wife used to be into baking and I would get a ton of baked goods to eat. Once rings went on her finger, suddenly she wasn't interested in baking anymore. "It's too much work.." "We don't have the space..", etc. The wave of excuses continued
It's just a trap my bro
[–]jws755[S] 1 point 5 hours ago
My ex did the same prior to the wedding. The baked goods and blowjobs both ended about a year after the honeymoon.](https://i2.wp.com/wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/yrftuvygibu.png?fit=600%2C694&ssl=1)
You’re just sitting there enjoying an endless stream of pies and cupcakes and freshly baked bread and the next thing you know you’re stuck in a loveless marriage without even a dinner roll to your name.
THAT’S HOW THEY GET YOU.
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I certainly hope this fellow didn’t mix up the two.
Hubby is voting for Biden this November. I’ve promised him cookies now that he’s joined me on the Dark Side. 😉
This is a gender neutral tactic. I am a man and I am luring my partner into marriage with delicious shortbread cookies.
Admittedly I *did* bake for Mr. Parasol on our first date. But as it happens, I made some nice dinner rolls tonight, and he’ll probably scarf down the leftovers while he’s at work.
Oh, and later this month we’ll be celebrating our anniversary.
To be fair, baked goods can be very enticing.
OT: I’ve seen reports that Kyle Rittenhouse, the young, police-loving vigilante who killed two people and injured another in Kenosha, had a history of misogynistic social media posts — in addition, that is, to ordinary white supremacy and authoritarianism. (It’s almost as if there’s a pattern here /s.) It’s also worth noting that he was part of the armed white militia group to which the police offered water and encouragement, and that the police let him go home even after witnesses pointed him out as the shooter.
@Etymologist
Yay another to add to the pattern.
JudgyBitch, aka Janet Bloomfield, once sneered that all any woman needs to do to compete with the “sluts” when she wants to marry is to demonstrate a little loyalty…and domestic skills. Naturally. As she put it, she surprised her future husband by collecting all his laundry and washing it. Quote: “he told me later that THAT was the moment he knew he would marry me.”
That’s all very well if you’re hoping to become a full-time homemaker. And, of course, it’s only human to want to make a good impression when you’re dating.
Trouble is, first of all, plenty of men don’t WANT to support a housewife. (My Gen X brother was quite firm about that, broke up with one girlfriend in the 1990s for that reason, married a career woman, and they now have two teens.)
Second, if you DON’T want to be a housewife, the last thing you want to do is act as if you LIKE cooking or cleaning as much as any of your hobbies – doing such things only as a birthday present, while dating, should suffice, message-wise. Even if you do love cooking, chances are your feelings will change if and when you have no time to relax at all, after the wedding.
After all, if you both work for pay 40 hours a week, are you not each entitled to an equal amount of Rest and Relaxation? In other words, hating housework is not an excuse for either of you two to shirk your half. You wouldn’t let your older sibling get away with that excuse when you were little, so what’s the difference when it’s a spouse – or a coworker – who tries to steal your leisure time?
It’s sweet to give without demanding something in return Every Single Time, but you can’t overdo it or you’ll eventually be doing ALL the giving (as Mary Boleyn did with Henry VIII – in the novel, her father famously scolded her for it), and there IS a happy medium. Time is money and should be spent as cautiously as money in a relationship. Thus, people need to be just as compatible in money and time issues as they are with regard to sex. Or politics, maybe.
I know of at least one famous gay writer who couldn’t seem to grasp the idea that hating your work, whether it’s paid or unpaid, is not an excuse to shirk. As he put it: “Terry cooked for me, but I resented having to do dishes. As I saw it, Terry liked cooking – he enjoyed it, he told me so. Well, I didn’t enjoy washing dishes – I hated it, and I’d told him so – and didn’t see why I should have to do something I hated after he got to do something he liked. I mean, that wasn’t fair, was it?”
Honestly. One might as well argue that if you hate your PAYING job and your coworker doesn’t, you should get paid twice as much!
@Lenona
I don’t agree. I, for one, would never want to be a housewife, but I like cooking a lot and am willing to admit so. It should be possible to admit how you really feel without having to hide it. In relationships, I’m willing to do a lot of the cooking because I’m fairly good at it and like to do it, and I don’t see that as an issue, as it’s my choice.
There must also be a middle ground between “I like cooking” and “I’ll do all the cooking for you for the rest of your life.” And if one partner does like cooking and is willing to do it, it’s possible to cook food while also not being a housewife. When I was growing up, both of my parents worked full time and my father did most of the cooking. These absolutes of love or hate, cook all the time or none of the time, aren’t the case for many people.
My husband asked me to stop baking so much because he has no will power with sweets and he gains weight a lot easier then I do.
Now that I can go over to my boyfriend’s place (I usually bike, as it seems safer than the bus right bow), he’s been making supper while I write. I’ll bring food sometimes, but so far it’s been less often. But it doesn’t mean I’ll expect him to make food all the time if we live together. There is such a thing as being flexible – and pragmatic – though I guess the MGTOW crowd wouldn’t know it.
Naglfar, as I hinted earlier, IF you have no time to sit and relax at all, once you’re married, but your spouse DOES have time to daydream, and you’re doing more than your half of the chores, that’s likely to lead to resentment. After all, cooking from scratch is not only the healthful thing to do, it’s the smart way to help build a nest egg. (Take-out can easily cost at least five times as much as on-sale groceries.) So whether or not one enjoys doing it, it’s still typically a necessary chore, as is doing laundry yourself instead of taking it to the cleaners.
Which brings to mind an “Arlo & Janis” comic strip (probably from the 1990s). It’s Arlo’s turn to cook, but, as is typical for him, IIRC, he simply orders take-out. Janis is very annoyed.
Arlo: “What’s the difference? You don’t have to do it!”
Janis: “It’s the principle of the thing!”
To frugal types like myself, there’s nothing laughable about Janis’ line – after all, what she means is, “Think of all the money I save by cooking, even though I sometimes hate doing it. Where would we be if we BOTH always ordered take-out?”
Given the MGTOW attempts at cooking that David has shared here, I don’t think that baking is necessary to show that married life is better for men than MGTOW-dom.
Just not contracting food poisoning would still leave most of us guys ahead of the MGTOW gang.
Victorious Parasol: I hope the day goes well for you both.
It’s funny – with one exception, the few times I’VE had really nasty food poisoning was from eating at clean-looking restaurants. (No, I’m not the most cautious cook – but I know enough to take no chances with, say, raw chicken.)
Btw, what MGTOWs often don’t seem to grasp is that, for the most part, they’re being HELPFUL to the dating pool, since they supposedly make no secret of what they do and don’t want in a relationship. Therefore, heterosexual women who want marriage and children now can tell, more easily, whom to avoid. (IIRC, most MGTOWs are also not that eager to have out-of-wedlock children that the law will likely force them to support.)
Not to mention that I’d happily bet that most MRAs are made nervous by childfree (CF) women, since not only are the latter competing with men all the time, but they also lack the Achilles’ heel that MGTOWs assume every woman has. It’s too easy for CF women to shrug off any MGTOW stories they might hear, since they already know that even CF men don’t necessarily want to marry as often as CF women might – and them’s the breaks. (Even men who DO want marriage and children don’t necessarily want to be involved with them very much – which can be very unsatisfactory for the wives.)
Apparently sammiches also work, or did in the Sixties:
http://acrosstheboreddotcom.files.wordpress.com/2013/02/boy-trap.jpg
Oh boy oh boy! I’m probably going to get married any day now then! I’ll trap one of them in my claws soon, everyone says my baking is delicious and beautiful!
But damn, I forgot that I’m a huge cow, past the wall, and also—gasp—educated. How powerful is the baking lure? How many looksmatch points and personality flaws such as being a liberal harpy can it overcome?
The baked goods and the blowjobs both ended?
This is indeed a tragic turn of events. Thoughts & prayers, MGTOW guy.
@Big Titty Demon : do you *really* want to get one of them ?
I can lure cockroachs easily, but I don’t want them near me actually. I suspect the same principle apply here.
If we believe their credos, you don’t even need to catch and castrate them like we do on pigeons : they supposedly already don’t reproduce. At least not sexually.
@Ohlmann
It appears instead they reproduce memetically.
@Full Metal Ox
I hear milkshakes also work, they can bring all the boys to the yard.
I wonder if, just possibly, the wife stopped doing things for the writer because the writer wasn’t doing anything much for her? Or perhaps there was a new baby to look after and she no longer had time or energy? I’d love to hear her side of it.
Lenona:
Yeah, it’s weird. Greasy spoon-type places that seem like they should be havens for stomach bugs are often healthier in that respect than clean-looking ones, especially chain restaurants. They taste better too.
QFT. They taste wonderful, and I’ve certainly never had a problem from them. Think there’s so much grease and steam around that any bugs basically get clogged and can’t move. 🙂
I’ve had food poisoning (as in doctor confirmed, not just a dodgy stomach) twice: once from a sandwich from a chain store, and once from a Michelin starred restaurant. Which were an odd experience in the first place – that molecular gastronomy fad from a few years back weren’t for me. Wife wanted to give it a try though and, hey, I’ll try anything once.
I have had food poisoning from a dodgy-looking stall once, but it’s not that much more often than regular restaurant.
Actual cleanliness and apparent cleanliness are two different things. It’s harder to look clean without being clean, so it’s still worth checking, but one should not put too much trust on that test.
Also, pretty much any restaurant can give you food poisoning. It’s much less likely with strong precautions, but there’s alway the day where the cook had a bad night and did a single slip up who unfortunately was at the only moment where a slip up would have consequences.
(also, fried food is much less likely to give food poisoning to begin with)
Another reason is because fancy restaurants are more likely to serve raw or undercooked meats as gourmet food (e.g. tartare, sashimi, etc), which can give food poisoning.
O/T :
““Our leaders want us to believe this is a racial conflict, they’re always telling us it is. They’re lying. It is not a racial conflict,” Carlson grumbled, adding: “This is not a race war. This is a class war.””
https://www.thedailybeast.com/tucker-carlson-justifies-kenosha-shootings-says-rittenhouse-did-what-no-one-else-would?ref=home
That’s very true, and quite dangerous for him to say. After all, he basically admitted that republicains are trying to wage a class war.