By David Futrelle
A lot of what’s called “Red Pill Dating Strategy” is little more than abuse — mimicking the behavior of real-life skeezebags who employ assorted psychological tricks designed to keep their partners feeling desperate and insecure. It’s as if the Red Pillers read a rundown of toxic behavior in relationships and decided to use it as a to-do list.
But for this strategy to work properly, the subject of this sort of manipulation has to remain unaware of the tactics their abuser is using. So what happens if a woman learns about these tricks and realizes they’re being used on her?
Well, for one thing, it freaks out this dude who never thought he’d get caught. And so he turned to the Ask The Red Pill subreddit for help.
Oopsie daisy!
Naturally, one of the Red Pill regulars suggested that he respond to the accusations of manipulative abuse by … gaslighting her.
“I would honestly look at her crazy … and act stupid, ‘redpill? I don’t understand what you mean by that?’ Or some bullshit,” wrote rprookie.
Another suggested that he try to convince her that the abuse was a good thing.
Be blunt, yes it is selfish and narcissistic in some ways. Here’s the catch there’s nothing wrong with that. Surprise!! Most of therapy or psychology is helping people prioritize themselves in a healing process to develop healthy and more effective habits/behaviors. The red pill provides a way for men to better themselves and simply be honest about what they want and encouraging them to pursue it. For example, how many men want a threesome, but never try to get it?
The red pill has literal posts about how to get it and that’s the point self improve men/ actualization has an element of selfishness because you are the subject of change.
I’m sure his “abuse is good at least when I’m doing it because then I might get a threesome” argument will go over swimmingly.
Another commenter blames the therapist, and psychiatry in general.
So your midwit girlfriend learned some big girl words from her therapist, thus causing the very untheraputic outcome of more conflict on her life.
Your basically experiencing the same thing ever American Dad experiences when their daughter gets back from libtard university.
Google the antipsychiatry movement and if your not a midwit you should be able to hard counter with serious anti therapy critique.
Still another commenter thought that the OP had nothing to worry about.
All of the girls who called me a manipulative, abusive narcissist went on to fuck me even better. Those are just cute nicknames they use for us with their friends and orbiters.
Meanwhile, another commenter suggested that the girl was being the manipulative one:
If a women calls you manipulative/abusive whatever, basically anything remember that it’s for her personal gain. It’s just a tactic to manipulate you into turning into a little beta pussy for her. You should be worried tho if someone you trust and respect calls you this.
I’m pretty sure he neither trusts nor respects her; that’s why he’s treating her like shit.
There were also numerous commenters telling the OP to break up and move on and though their reasoning was often suspect I have to agree with them on this. OP, end this abusive relationship — and move on from the Red Pill altogether. Use this as a wake-up all. Get some therapy yourself. And don’t get into another relationship until you’ve expunged all traces of the “Red Pill philosophy” from your system.
H/T — The Blue Pill subreddit
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Cinemark needs their projector back.
Pretty sure no redpiller trusts or respects anyone but other redpillers, who naturally aren’t going to call out one of their own. Nice way to insulate from criticism.
So close…
If your self improvement is to the detriment of others, that’s not self improvement, that’s abuse.
“Advice?”
Take a good long look at yourself and these behaviors you’ve been espousing. Spend some time away from your redpill echo chamber.
It’d be great if this poster stepped away from the red pill, but he’s drawn to it because it validates what’s already in his mindset and lifestyle. I believe in change, but he doesn’t indicate he’s inclined to do that.
Maybe his victim, er, excuse me, “girlfriend” can do the stepping away. She’s probably more likely to, seeing as she’s in therapy. That’s usually a good move toward health in general, and healthy relationships specifically.
I guarantee you this man knows nothing about the antipsychiatry movement’s motives and goals.
A lightbulb just went off.
Abusers hate psychiatry because it gives their victims tools to fight back.
Now that I write that out, I should have understood that a long-ass time ago, it’s so obvious. But until now I always found it curious how right-wingers and scientologists hated psychiatry.
@numerobis
I think another reason they hate it is that it exposes their delusional beliefs for what they are, which they don’t want. They’ve built themselves layers of defense mechanisms and lies and don’t want to have to face the truth. This is why conspiracy theories like QAnon are built: to shield believers from the realization that they are the baddies. A good psychiatrist could see through that, and the believers don’t want to. Or like how incels make up elaborate falsehoods and refuse therapy.
Plus there’s also the contempt for expertise that is a major part of modern conservatism. Truth to them is about what feels true, not something to be found in a long painstaking journey. And if someone who takes that journey comes back and says your feelings were wrong, that makes them enemies trying to force their feelings on you to be resisted at all costs, hence the non-insignificant number of cons now who think the earth is flat.
And there’s the toxic masculinity saying that emotions are a weakness and a REAL MAN must never admit to needing help with depression or insecurity. Which of course is the exact opposite of the truth and a big part of men have high suicide rates.
Therapy and psychiatry are good things that usually make your life better.
Well, she may be only a midwit — unlike you, Mr. Genius — but even she could see through your bullshit. More conflict can be extremely therapeutic; it can lead to positive change. In this case, she might get this guy — a genius just like you, I’m sure — out of her life. Ah, tranquility.
No wonder they dislike psychiatry. Psychiatry is here to help people change themselves and act in the world, and their only interest in life is the statu quo.
Also, a lot of their advice can be boiled down to “treat her like an idiot”. There’s probably some stupidity into dating a redpiller, but most people actually aren’t stupid all the time, only the president of the USA succeed in doing that.
I especially love the fact that the person who wrote the comment also threw in a dig at OP,
“You must be stupid if you disagree with me.”
Because the manosphere is one biiig crab bucket.
Does the movement concerned with issues present in the current practice of psychiatry, such as imbalance of power, diagnostic criteria, involuntary confinement, over-medication, etc. still identify with the term “antipsychiatry”? I’m asking because I usually hear the term being applied to groups such as cults, mostly in a negative fashion (in a manner broadly similar to the current use of the term “men’s rights”).
What is a midwit? It sounds at a surface level like another word for “average”, and what was ever wrong with being average?
@Big Titty Demon : in general, nothing, but part of the red pill is the delusion of grandeur where their adherent think they are above average.
Similar to how “normie” can be an insult. In both case it say more on the utterer than on the target.
“You’re not allowed to complain about my behavior unless I agree it’s a problem” is on the emotional manipulation list too, and they nailed that one.
@Ariblester
Yeah, we do. There’s a difference between being anti the social institution of psychiatry and all its messed up shit and being anti science. I’m antipsych and take meds because my meds help me, but psych as a whole fucked me up because of its nature, especially with how it treats mentally ill kids.
Fair enough. I learned something new today, thank you.
@Ohlmann
This is a big part of the manosphere, as it’s a subtle form of gaslighting. However, it’s also clear that manospherians think each other are idiots, as they all have a very low opinion of each other and men in general.
@Big Titty Demon
I read it as similar to “half wit,” which is a regular insult, but I could be wrong.
@ big titty demon
It’s someone who’s 40% one of these kids.
This just popped up on my LinkedIn. I don’t know enough about the subject to have an opinion as to the validity of the argument; but it seems it may be relevant to the psychiatry discussion people are having.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/alisonescalante/2020/08/11/researchers-doubt-that-certain-mental-disorders-are-disorders-at-all/#566ebf5c15a6
@Alan Robertshaw
I agree very much that there should not be stigma around things like anxiety or depression, and I support changing society to facilitate better life for people who have these. As someone who is autistic, I can’t speak for people with ADHD or other situations, but I would very much support no longer considering autism as a disorder, as that adds to the stigma and alienation. This is why I generally say “autism” instead of the medical term “ASD,” as the latter stands for “autism spectrum disorder” and as a result seems overly pathologizing.
@Alan
That photo is cuckoo. 😉
Going back to the more serious topic, redpillers seem to pride themselves on being abusive and manipulative because that equals “strength” to them. They see it as power, as possession of control.
@ Vicky P
Damn(ed) right!
@An Autistic Giraffe:
This analogy made me think of the Hero’s Journey mythic archetype, where the hero ventures far afield and brings back what they find–treasure, wisdom, etc.–for the good of their homeland. And I realized: Conservatives like to paint themselves as heroes, but in reality they are the deniers of heroes. The real heroes are the ones working to improve the world; all conservatives do is try to hold them back, and then try to undo the good works that succeed.
@Karalora
This is also why they love to ramble about “Western Civilization.” It allows them to frame themselves as heroes trying to save something rather than assholes standing in the way of progress. They’ve created their own mythology, like QAnon which I mentioned earlier, so they can see themselves as heroes rather than having to acknowledge that they’re villains. See also: Lost Cause of the Confederacy, Evangelism, etc.