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By David Futrelle
It’s not a secret that incels are obsessed with underage girls and the allegedly pure joys of teenage sex. Now they seem to have collectively decided that any guy who doesn’t manage to have sex in high school has lost out on something so magical that he is essentially scarred for life; he might as well rope, as they like to put it.
In a recent post on the Incels.co forums, an incel called Personalityinkwell declares, in all caps, that
SEX IN HIGH SCHOOL IS EVERYTHING
everything else is pure cope. …
The only thing that matters is having good genes/good parents so you can be a JB [jailbait] slayer, everything else is GIGACOPE.
Other incels expand on this theme. Mylifeistrash declares that
it’s the harshest pill
that you only got one shot in life and your genetics determined it all
no amount of self-improvement cope or money maxxing will ever make up for your teenage years
AmIjustDreaming agrees,
No amount of money or any other cope can make up for missed teen love. I’m almost 26 and the teenpill still gets to me. While I rotted playing video games, everyone else was having their first kiss, sex, teen love. It will fuck you up forever.
“Only teen love can make up for missed teen love,” laments LOLI BREEDING.
“Highschools need to offer euthanasia at the last day of school,” adds _wifebeater_.
The anger, naturally, stokes the incels’ feelings of entitlement.
“Its such a crime that we never got to fuck prime girls,” complains Ropemaxx.
And it’s not long before they start talking about the age of consent in the Phillipines.
Even aside from the pedophilia, an undercurrent in almost all incel discussions of sex, this is all just bullshit. There’s nothing magical about having sex as a teenager; it’s exciting, to be sure, but it can also be awkward and even a bit embarrassing, as no one knows what they’re doing at first. Sex can actually be a lot better for everyone once both partners have had a little more (or a lot more) experience.
And sex isn’t everything; it’s certainly a pleasant part of life, for those who are into it, but you can live without it. And lots of people do, living through “dry spells” than can last years. Not having sex in high school doesn’t make you special; it doesn’t even make you all that unusual, given that the average age at which Americans have sex for the first time at is 17, with the percentage of high schoolers having sex dropping below 50% in recent years.
That’s right: MOST PEOPLE in high school aren’t having sex.
Yes, it sucks to go through high school dateless. But there are worse things in life. And you have the rest of your life to make up for lost time. Move the fuck on, dudes; stop fixating on something you cannot change.
There are some guys whose lives basically peaked in high school who spend the rest of their lives trying to recapture what they felt the day they scored the winning touchdown. And they won’t shut up about it. Incels are doing something similar, only backwards, fixating on their sexual failures in high school and never shutting up about them. I can’t decide which group is more pathetic, but I know that neither the aging jock or the aging incel is going to be happy until they clear the resentment and self-hatred out of their heads and start living in the present.
@Naglfar: Huh. We use celery.
(Also, I’m with Valentin, parsley definitely has a flavour all its own. It’s a very “green” and fresh sort of flavour, the kind of thing that the term “herbal” was just made to describe. That so many consider it flavourless is new to me, but possibly it might be a question of variant – as far as I remember, curly parsley has a much milder flavour than the flat-leaf variant, which is the one I’m personally more used to.)
@Penny Psmith
In my family it’s always been parsley but I’m told in Eastern Europe it used to be a boiled potato. In general, it seems like originally people used what was available and today use the same thing for tradition’s sake.
I’ve always thought parsley had a rather strong taste. I tried chewing the garnish on the steak, once.
Maybe cooked is bland?
@Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
I get mine at a local store, there’s a rather large Asian community where I live and I found it by chance when perusing the tea section. I’d had it at a tea festival the year before and just snapped it up.
You might try looking for “Big Red Robe”, since there is often an upcharge for the original name of things (think how much you pay for “Longjiang” vs. “Dragonwell”).
I have a tea from FloatingLeaves which is a variation on Da Hong Pao grown from the original plants, but in Taiwan and treated somewhat differently. Having tried it today, it’s really quite good!
I will warn you that some people really hate the taste because of that heavy mineral content. It’s pretty strong. I have severe mineral deficiencies due to ongoing complications from ~20 years of anorexia so to me it tastes like being healthy and is very comforting.
(If a variation of this post shows up later, it’s because I tried again after taking out the link…)
I used to drink a rock oolong (water fairy) where the first cup was literally undrinkable. You basically brewed the first cup for 15 seconds in order to rinse the leaves. The second through fifth cups were divine.
@PoM
I will have to look that up.
Am I too late to post a contribution to the Scary PSA Film Festival? These characters set up housekeeping in my Nightmare Closet in the mid-60’s:
I have a theory that some people just cant taste the flavour of parsley, it seems that way from here. When I was a child my mum grew parsley and other herbs in her garden, I didnt like parsley as a child becuase of the strong flavour but now I like it. For curly or flat I think they both taste the same.
… that sounds like someone tried to describe this dish (Hungarian “petrezselymes krumpli” literally translated “potatoes with parsley”) or something close to it very poorly:
@Cats In Shiny Hats
Thanks a million for the info! I could use more minerals in my body. I had a brush with anorexia myself, although I don’t know if that plays any role in my mineral deficit. And I’m forewarned about the possible taste.
@Malitia
What I meant is that people would dip a boiled potato in salt water for symbolic reasons instead of a stalk of parsley, because access to parsley was limited. That dish looks quite tasty, but I don’t think it’s connected to Passover.
Hmm, this is interesting. What are people’s thoughts on this?
In summary, Google have been allowing members of the far-right to use their various platforms, but then collating the information gleaned (addresses, phone numbers, credit card purchases etc.) and passing them on to counter-terrorism authorities.
So, is this a useful partnership to address far-right threats; or Google profiting off such activity and just passing the buck to the Feds?
https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2020/aug/17/google-giving-user-data-authorities-documents-reveal
@ paireon
I do not judge you; well, not openly anyway.
But thanks for the corn tip. I do like the stuff so I’ll give that a go.
Ooh, and I must remember I have experimental tea in the fridge.
@Alan Robertshaw
It all depends on the efficacy of the counterterrorism programs. If these programs are effective and Google is good at sorting and sending off the data, then it can be worth it. However, if the programs don’t take action or are otherwise ineffective, they’re just giving a free platform to Nazis.
I’m also not a huge fan of leaving corporations in charge of this, they’re not known for honesty.
Rule 1 of dealing with information assets: If they’re informing on one, they’re informing on others.
Is it useful? Yes, of course. Action requires information.
Will the same thing be used on other groups? Undoubtedly. A tool will be used.
Is Google’s motive profit? Of course it is.
Summary: Not something to be encouraged.
Yeah, my opinion is about the same as Threp’s. If Google is compiling identifiable information for the feds, odds are very good that they’re not just informing on the far right groups, but that they’re providing the information of, say, the BLM protestors too. Given how much more historically eager the feds are to prosecute leftist causes than right-wing ones, I bet that the leftie information is probably what the feds are more interested in.
Further, I feel like this isn’t a very effective solution. Google letting these groups use their platforms gives these assholes more reach and more opportunities to recruit, which is damaging even if a handful of them get busted. There may even be incentive for the platform to engage in entrapment-like behavior, radicalizing people who would not be otherwise inclined to this sort of behavior so that Google has more engagement. It’s better that the groups be immediately shut down as soon as they are identified, rather than allowing them to persist to milk them for money.
If attacks get foiled by the information provided, then at least something good will come of this, but on the whole I don’t think this is a good thing at all.
@Catalpa
Given that Google owns YouTube, which has been heavily criticized for radicalizing the far right through algorithms, I wouldn’t be surprised if this happens. Hate gets clicks.
Gods this hits home for me having been the type of incel in high school who genuinely thought that life would be over if I didn’t lose my virginity by 18. I eventually did at 21, and kinda ended up realizing that it didn’t really matter at all. Nowadays I don’t even think about it that much, I have a sex drive sure, but these days I kind of consider sex to be a bit of a chore, way too easy to pull something or awkwardly screw up in one way or another.
Talking of nightmarish PSAs … any other 70s kids out there remember the full “hate hurts you!” ad featuring the little guy whose face got redder and bigger until he exploded? Scared the heck out of me when I was little.
@ Vicky P
Well, I’m sure you’d be just as nice even without being scared straight!
Now, just stay away from railways and suicide bomber monkeys*
(* Duck and Cover reference)
@Alan
Thank you kindly. A bit of googling has led me to believe that this PSA got trimmed down and later removed from rotation because it scared a lot of my generation.
The shortened version seems to be the only one available on YouTube now, which is saying something.
@ Vicky P
We got all our anti-bullying lessons from a kid’s show called Grange Hill.
That was such a good programme. Just say the name to any Brit over a certain age and I guarantee they’ll start doing the theme music.
So you can join in…
Ugh ugh ugh ugh ugh!
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/aug/17/brazil-protest-abortion-recife-hospital