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MGTOW: There’s no such thing as single women, because they’re all having Chad sex multiple times a week

Single ladies: Not really a thing?

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By David Futrelle

If men are from Mars and women from Venus, then MGTOWs must be from Uranus. Or, rather, Theirownanus. In any case, they live on a different planet than the rest of us. Proof? They take nonsense like this to be the literal truth:

When a man says he's single, he's truly alone. When a woman says she's single, she's with multiple guys per week/month. (self.MGTOW)

submitted 20 hours ago by PhilTony

This is just the truth. Whenever a woman pouts about being 'single', keep in mind almost every time, she has multiple partners from the top 10% chads that she can hit up at any time - she's just upset they leave her for better options since they are in the top 10%, thus her being 'single' and not in a relationship.

When a man says he's single, he's truly alone. He makes his own food, has his own hobbies, makes his own money, and does NOT get validation on social media. He's truly his own person in his own thoughts. So next time a woman says she's single, it's pretty much laughable compared to what men go through.

This post has gotten nearly 400 upvotes from Reddit’s MGTOW population, with 95% of those voting on it giving it the thumb’s up. But it’s complete balderdash.

According to a recent CDC survey, the median number of sex partners for women between 25-44 is 4.2. Over a lifetime, not per week. (The median for men in the same age range: 6.1.) And while sex surveys are not the most reliable surveys ever — people lie, and may define sex differently — most surveys I’ve seen put the number of lifetime partners in the single or low double digits. In other words, your typical woman doesn’t have an army of Chads on booty call speed dial.

I also like the idea that the typical man suffers because he has to make his own food. I know that’s surprisingly tough for MGTOWs to manage, but boo fucking hoo. Do they think that the Chads are bringing women delicious home-cooked meals every time they stop by for sexy times?

Honestly, MGTOW theories about women make about as much sense as QAnon.

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Ariblester
1 month ago

does NOT get validation from social media

So they’re preaching to the choir on Reddit, a social media site, because…?

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 month ago

I’m going to point out that “median” averages aren’t the same thing as “mean” averages, and you could easily get a skewed median even if 100% of people were straight. The stats shown above, for example, could theoretically be skewed by a small number of women who were much like incels’ “stacy” stereotypes, while men who were like Chads or Chad wannabes couldn’t rack up that kind of individual count. That’s probably not the primary reason (to say nothing of how incels’ worldview would still be seriously distorted even if it was), but that could easily explain it on its own.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 month ago

What are incels doing posting on a MGTOW reddit? MGTOWs are supposed to be all “we don’t want these allegedly-promiscuous women anyway, Chad can keep ’em!” and “we LOVE the single life!”, rather than “woe is me and woe unto all the single men!”

Or has the distinction among different segments of the manosphere pretty much evaporated at this point?

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
1 month ago

TIL that according to these dipshits Chads are not only preternaturally sexually and socially gifted, but also completely indiscriminate and available entirely at the whims of any woman with a phone and half an hour of spare time.

There’s probably a business model in there somewhere … RentaChad? Chadshare holidays?

JenniferAndLightning
JenniferAndLightning
1 month ago

Single doesn’t necessarily mean sexless regardless of gender. And, of course, being single isn’t some terrible fate. To the extent that single people may be lonely that could be about lack of sex but it could also be abput lack of companionship. More proof that these guys just don’t understand relationships and intimacy. How could they when they view women as objects?

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
1 month ago

RentaChad

I prefer to own rather than rent. 🙂 🙂

But really, as a very conventionally attractive woman (though with unconventional sexuality) with multiple partners they would consider Chads things really really do NOT work like they think. They act like we somehow are lucky to have male attention whether we want it or not. For every man I find attractive there at least 50 I’m not attracted to and of those how many do you think go away and respect my choice when I tell them I’m not attracted to them? And obviously not all the men I find attractive, who are rare enough, are willing and able to share the kind of intimacy I prefer (even if they say they are at first). Then there’s all the bullshit of the ones I’m not attracted to acting all entitled because supposedly how I dress is supposedly sending a message. That’s the exact bullshit that NiceGuy(TM) creeps put out. Like I’m somehow lucky that a guy claiming to be a friend still leers creepily at me even after I told him it grosses me out that he does, and yet I’m the one oppressing him because I’m supposedly inciting his leer because of what I’m wearing. That makes me so mad and reminds me of the whole agression of refusing to even speak correctly using correct terms for my body.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

I prefer women, can I have some Stacies instead of Chads? There’s a pandemic, so I can’t invite them over much, but the bringing food would be nice.

has his own hobbies

Really? Last I checked none of these men proud to be “going their own way” have any hobbies. Maybe they’d be less assholish if they did (though that would require patience they probably don’t have).

Another thing which distorts sex surveys is that in a patriarchal society men tend to inflate their partner counts while women tend to decrease theirs. So the reality is more likely that on average men and women have had about the same number of partners.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 month ago

In my personal experience, the more likely primary explanation for the skewed median is that, when you have a situation of a handful of dates and maybe sex once or twice, and it clearly wasn’t going anywhere, women generally don’t count that as a “relationship”, but men generally do. I couldn’t say if that’s typical, but it makes some sense.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

Another possible skew factor is what people consider to be sex. IME a lot of heterosexual people only consider PIV to be sex (and sometimes include anal and/or oral), while LGBTQIPA+ people are more likely to count other kinds of sexual practices as sex.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
1 month ago

So this really hits me today because well, I had a really shitty experience today…

I’ve been doing online dating and I messaged a guy who tried to match with me earlier. His first response to me was calling me a bitch for not getting back to him sooner. So I responded that I wasn’t his bitch and reported him but it still just makes me feel icky,

Sorry, I feel like I always interject stuff that has nothing to do with the topic and is really all about me.

NOBODY
NOBODY
1 month ago

Oh rubbish. There are plenty of single men burning through partners in the club scene, or were in the Before Times.

Single never meant living a chaste monkish existence. It could, but more often, it just means someone who either wants to stay unattached or someone between relationships.

What a ridiculous strawman.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Yutolia
Sorry to hear that. That guy sounds like a possessive asshole, you should feel justified in reporting him and getting him out of your life.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
1 month ago

@Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner

I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m glad you reported the jerk. He deserves to be thrown off the app or site.

NOBODY
NOBODY
1 month ago

His first response to me was calling me a bitch for not getting back to him sooner.

I thought the “you didn’t text me back!” meltdown was something only a certain type of hyper social highschool girl did.

At least you know why he’s having trouble dating…. 😒

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
1 month ago

@ yutolia

Sorry, I feel like I always interject stuff that has nothing to do with the topic and is really all about me.

Actually* your post is exactly on point. It’s a personal illustration of the topic at hand. But even if it wasn’t; you’re still perfectly entitled to bring it up. Your feelings are totally valid and this is a place people are able to get things off their chest.

One thing I would say though is, you shouldn’t have to feel icky. You did nothing wrong and it looks like you dodged a bullet there. I know emotionally there can be that tendency to feel bad about stuff like that; and there’s no way of short circuiting or over riding that; but hopefully intellectually you know you have nothing to berate yourself for.

(*see what I did there)

NOBODY
NOBODY
1 month ago

women generally don’t count that as a “relationship”, but men generally do

I’ve had the opposite observation, women, especially very young women, assuming much more investment in a relationship that’s just starting, vs men making a clear distinction between just hooking up and actually going out.

But I suspect maturity is more of a decisive factor than gender. These are communication/insecurity issues.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@NOBODY

I suspect maturity is more of a decisive factor than gender. These are communication/insecurity issues.

There could also be some cultural factors at play as well, someone’s background could determine how they treat relationships. For instance, women from conservative religious backgrounds will be more likely to invest heavily in relationships because that is what they have been raised to believe in.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 month ago

@Yutolia

So I responded that I wasn’t his bitch and reported him

Good for you. That took courage. I’m glad you shared that experience with us.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 month ago

So a woman “pouts” about being single, but a man truly suffers. This must be why MGTOWs — who have gone their own way? — feel a need to call women names, dox them, and threaten their lives. It’s because they’re sad.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 month ago

Do they think that the Chads are bringing women delicious home-cooked meals every time they stop by for sexy times?

Oh no. The implication seems to be that Chads do not bring wonderful meals with them when they stop by for sex. So much for my fondest hopes. Damn you, Chad.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Kat

It’s because they’re sad.

While they’re definitely not happy, I think they’re more angry than sad. Though for many those two emotions are linked, as men are taught not to show sadness and instead to show anger.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 month ago

@Naglfar
I agree. They’re more angry than sad, which is exactly the way I feel right now about Chad not showing up with delicious food. I’m a reasonable woman and don’t insist that he work his fingers to the bone. Takeout would be fine.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Kat
If Chad is slacking off, it’s someone else’s chance. Maybe Tyrone can bring something. Or Stacy or Becky, if they’ve got time.

The Red One
The Red One
1 month ago

So I’d better not hear any man ever again ask a woman out (since she’s already taken by default, and he’d be a cvnt for asking), or if she’s single *because….of course, that just can’t be true). Never ask. Never again. Never. Ever. I dare them, I double dog dare them. Oh wait, what am I thinking? They WILL.
Well that didn’t last very long, now did it?

Nothing worse than a hive mind consisting of mainly low functioning narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths whos self esteems are so bedrock low, they have to resort to this lunacy. They never make sense, even in the realms of their own bizarre rules.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
1 month ago

@Naglfar
BRB. Have to text three people.

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 month ago

Do they think that the Chads are bringing women delicious home-cooked meals every time they stop by for sexy times?

Maybe it’s a reference to the manospherian myth that women frequently score free restaurant dinners paid by some beta boyfriend or aspiring boyfriend or “orbiter” friend?*

Obviously, another alternative for home cooking would be paying your own dinners or buying ready meals. This could be also what was referred above, since some manospherians seem to complain about how “modern women don’t cook”.

* This trope comes up so often, combined with the notion that women date “beta” men mainly just for the free food and drinks, you’d think dating women is basically like feeding wild animals in your backyard.

Snowberry
Snowberry
1 month ago

@Lumipuma:
I’m guessing that this is a leftover relic from the era when young, middle-class white men typically had jobs, and young, middle-class white women typically did not because they expected to be housewives eventually (whether they wanted to or not). These days most women work and have money. I go dutch or pay for the food sometimes. So do most other women I know. I can cook. So can most of the men I’ve dated, at least adequately. I’m sure this anti-egalitarian (for lack of better term) trope is still common in some places, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m also sure that a lot of manospherians would be offended by the woman paying, anyway, because it shows a degree of power and independence and that threatens their ego.

Lollypop
Lollypop
1 month ago

I’m also sure that a lot of manospherians would be offended by the woman paying, anyway, because it shows a degree of power and independence and that threatens their ego.

@Snowberry Absolutely! I think to them it isn’t so much the paying for dinner they don’t like, but women failing to provide the reward they think they deserve afterwards. The injustice is that women will just give it away to Chad without bestoying poor Beta Bux (who is doing courtship properly, and has *good* intentions) with his due compensation. Not only does he miss out on women’s virginity and “prime years” – which should be his by right – he doesn’t even get the shag that surely paying for dinner should provide, seeing as women as such sluts anyway.

Also, kind of off topic, but some bad news from the UK:

https://www.globalcitizen.org/en/content/half-of-young-men-oppose-feminism-uk/

Fetch
Fetch
1 month ago

I encourage all lonely single men to explore the exciting world of friendship, where they may find companionship, emotional support, shared meals and social hobbies, just like women have with their friends.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Snowberry

I’m also sure that a lot of manospherians would be offended by the woman paying, anyway, because it shows a degree of power and independence and that threatens their ego.

And of course in typical manosphere no-win fashion, they think that if a woman doesn’t pay for dinner she’s stealing mens’ money, but if she does pay she’s emasculating him.

@Fetch

I encourage all lonely single men to explore the exciting world of friendship

Unfortunately, they seem to have confused “friendship” with “group of angry entitled dudes rambling about women.”

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

O/T: I regret to inform you all that S.E. Hinton has outed herself as a transphobe.

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 month ago

@The Red One

Nothing worse than a hive mind consisting of mainly low functioning narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths whos self esteems are so bedrock low, they have to resort to this lunacy.

Please abide by the comments policy and avoid “crazy” talk like this. Assholery is not a mental illness, and we don’t go in for armchair diagnosing in these parts.

David J
David J
1 month ago

@snowberry
I think median may be more appropriate than mean in this case. The median is definitely more appropriate for $, since money is unequally distributed. *If* a few individuals are having a lot more sex partners – I don’t actually know – then the mean might be pulled way up by those few individuals, but the the median would be sort of typical for an ordinary individual.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
1 month ago

Thanks all, as usual, for your awesome support. Today will be better than yesterday!!

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 month ago

@Snowberry

I think you’ve got median and mean mixed up. Mean (or average) can be easily skewed by outliers, whereas median is not nearly as sensitive to outliers.

When a man says he’s single, he’s truly alone.

It sounds like Chad is single to the same degree that Stacey is; if having a ton of sex but not being committed to any particular partner = single, then Chad is equally single. How does that comport with our MGHOW’s categorical statement that all single men are truly alone? Is Chad not really a man? I thought Chad was the ultimate, highest-quality man. But he’s both single and not truly alone, and also a man, so the categorical “all men” statement is obviously untrue. It sounds like we can’t trust men to be “truly alone” when they say they’re single 100% of the time. Hmmm … that really throws a wrench into the validity of this argument! I wonder how that happened!

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@Alan Robertshaw
There are also some hints and allusions in some other Wachowski films and TV shows. For instance, in Sense8 one of the main antagonists bears a striking resemblance to Ray Blanchard.

@PoM

Is Chad not really a man?

Since the MGTOW says this only applies if a man says he’s single, maybe Chad never says he’s single?

Cats In Shiny Hats
Cats In Shiny Hats
1 month ago

My Someone makes more than I do. He likes to pay for our food because it’s no hardship to him and it would add up fast for me… But I ALWAYS buy breakfast. Whether he stayed over or we meet up in the morning, breakfasts are mine.

In off topic news, my roommates are still sick. They’ve been sick since February and the doctors don’t know what’s wrong since the Covid tests keep coming back negative.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 month ago

Since the MGTOW says this only applies if a man says he’s single, maybe Chad never says he’s single?

The alternative to single is partnered-up, and I don’t hear Chad claiming that, either, in this scenario. Chad’s perception of his partnered/single status isn’t mentioned at all.

However, it would be reasonable, from the information given, to assume that Chad believes himself to be single. He isn’t tied down; he fucks many women. And he’s clearly not in agreed-upon open relationships with all these women, as the women that he fucks are angry that he’s fucking other women. So either Chad believes himself to be cheating on every woman he fucks, or else he believes himself to be single. The most reasonable conclusion is that he believes himself to be single, and therefore free to sleep with whomever he chooses regardless of the women’s jealousy.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@PoM

The alternative to single is partnered-up, and I don’t hear Chad claiming that, either, in this scenario.

Is it possible there’s another option like friends with benefits or some sort of polyamory? And since Chad hasn’t said anything about how he views his status, I don’t think we can infer that he thinks he’s single.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
1 month ago

friends with benefits

Do people with FWB think they are not single? Do they stop looking for romantic relationships (presuming that they are looking for a romantic relationship) once they achieve a FWB?

some sort of polyamory

I think I addressed that.

moregeekthan
moregeekthan
1 month ago

@Yutolia

Guy you reported is both an asshole and an idiot. Back when I was online dating, “gal from two or three weeks ago actually wants to talk” was about the best thing to discover upon logging in. Way to work against your own interests there, guy.

LindsayIrene
LindsayIrene
1 month ago

I thought the “you didn’t text me back!” meltdown was something only a certain type of hyper social highschool girl did.

It’s common enough on dating sites to be regularly featured on subreddits mocking Nice Guys.

Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
1 month ago

@morethangeek:

Back when I was online dating, “gal from two or three weeks ago actually wants to talk” was about the best thing to discover upon logging in.

I know! That was part of what shocked me about it, too. Wow, entitlement… Glad I don’t have to meet him!

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
1 month ago

The range of what romance is to people ranges pretty widely. And what each partner in a relationship feels can change over time and change back again.

I get cast sometimes as “polyamorous” but that’s not how I think of myself because it’s a label that somebody else made up and that means certain things to other people that can’t really get at what I feel.

I have romantic feels for some of my guys sometimes. They are my partners and I respect them always and I’m very sexually attracted to them but they are never, ever my “friends” in the conventional sense that most people mean that word. I am always, always sexually attracted to them to though, or I would not have picked them in the first place because we have to feel sexual attraction for each other in order for the type of creative relationship we have to work. But they are not my friends because that implies a kind of informality that I don’t want (and would never tolerate). It’s not always easy to explain to people with rigid categories in mind that physical intimacy and attraction and trust and mutual reciprocal respect can exist between partners even when their relationship depends on formality and protocol within a mutually agreed upon hierarchy.

It’s a complicated relationship but not “complicated” in a bad way. It’s complicated in a good way as in richness and uniqueness.

If someone ever tried to make me answer the question “So, are you single or not?” I would refuse to answer.

(And if it was a guy trying to make me answer that confining question I’d make him talk to me standing a certain distance out of physical range because my verbal response wouldn’t be the only sound he hears and if you know me you know why! 🙂 🙂 )

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
1 month ago

@LindsayIrene

subreddits mocking Nice Guys.

I adore any site or activity that mocks NiceGuys.

I try to set aside a few hours each week dedicated specifically for openly mocking them to an audience. 🙂

The more elaborate the planning and show, the better but I like to think I’m pretty good at improv. NiceGuy mocking when I encounter one.

I hate so much their sense of entitlement.

Naglfar
Naglfar
1 month ago

@PoM

Do people with FWB think they are not single?

I don’t know, I haven’t been in that situation before. I also don’t really know how Chad views his relationships since he’s a fictional character.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
1 month ago

@ Ariblester:

does NOT get validation from social media

So they’re preaching to the choir on Reddit, a social media site, because…?

Hope springs eternal?

Lumipuna
Lumipuna
1 month ago

POM:

It sounds like Chad is single to the same degree that Stacey is; if having a ton of sex but not being committed to any particular partner = single, then Chad is equally single. How does that comport with our MGHOW’s categorical statement that all single men are truly alone? Is Chad not really a man? I thought Chad was the ultimate, highest-quality man. But he’s both single and not truly alone, and also a man, so the categorical “all men” statement is obviously untrue. It sounds like we can’t trust men to be “truly alone” when they say they’re single 100% of the time. Hmmm … that really throws a wrench into the validity of this argument! I wonder how that happened!

Good point. Though I suspect these generalizations about “men” and “women” were only meant to apply in most cases rather than in literally all cases.

So either Chad believes himself to be cheating on every woman he fucks, or else he believes himself to be single. The most reasonable conclusion is that he believes himself to be single, and therefore free to sleep with whomever he chooses regardless of the women’s jealousy.

Could be. After all, Chad is a not most men, and any rules, limitations or common sense do not apply to him.

Then again, I gather it’s a common manospherian belief that men are naturally heartless bastards when it comes to dating women. As in, they don’t care to get committed in a relationship if they can have an easy access to sex otherwise. But if they do have that easy access, then they are functionally partnered anyway, because that’s all a man needs or wants.

Besides, even if Chad is sort of settled down with some Stacey, he certainly wouldn’t care to consider whether he’s “free” or not before he goes on to casually fuck the Beckys of the world. Because he’s Chad, Stacey would be reluctant to dump his ass over mere cheating, and even though she’ll probably eventually dump him, he doesn’t care. It’s not like he’ll run out of sex partners.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
1 month ago

It’s kind of sad that even in this elaborate fantasy scenario, a woman being upset when she’s not chosen by a man who has better options is somehow all about how little this affects her and how women have it so much better than men, and there’s no thought given to the fact that everyone faces rejection.

I’m actually a bit surprised that women not getting relationships from all the easy and care-free sex they have all the time is even acknowledged. Usually it’s all about the amount of sex tokens you can get and how much effort it takes.