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By David Futrelle
If men are from Mars and women from Venus, then MGTOWs must be from Uranus. Or, rather, Theirownanus. In any case, they live on a different planet than the rest of us. Proof? They take nonsense like this to be the literal truth:
This post has gotten nearly 400 upvotes from Reddit’s MGTOW population, with 95% of those voting on it giving it the thumb’s up. But it’s complete balderdash.
According to a recent CDC survey, the median number of sex partners for women between 25-44 is 4.2. Over a lifetime, not per week. (The median for men in the same age range: 6.1.) And while sex surveys are not the most reliable surveys ever — people lie, and may define sex differently — most surveys I’ve seen put the number of lifetime partners in the single or low double digits. In other words, your typical woman doesn’t have an army of Chads on booty call speed dial.
I also like the idea that the typical man suffers because he has to make his own food. I know that’s surprisingly tough for MGTOWs to manage, but boo fucking hoo. Do they think that the Chads are bringing women delicious home-cooked meals every time they stop by for sexy times?
Honestly, MGTOW theories about women make about as much sense as QAnon.
So they’re preaching to the choir on Reddit, a social media site, because…?
I’m going to point out that “median” averages aren’t the same thing as “mean” averages, and you could easily get a skewed median even if 100% of people were straight. The stats shown above, for example, could theoretically be skewed by a small number of women who were much like incels’ “stacy” stereotypes, while men who were like Chads or Chad wannabes couldn’t rack up that kind of individual count. That’s probably not the primary reason (to say nothing of how incels’ worldview would still be seriously distorted even if it was), but that could easily explain it on its own.
What are incels doing posting on a MGTOW reddit? MGTOWs are supposed to be all “we don’t want these allegedly-promiscuous women anyway, Chad can keep ’em!” and “we LOVE the single life!”, rather than “woe is me and woe unto all the single men!”
Or has the distinction among different segments of the manosphere pretty much evaporated at this point?
TIL that according to these dipshits Chads are not only preternaturally sexually and socially gifted, but also completely indiscriminate and available entirely at the whims of any woman with a phone and half an hour of spare time.
There’s probably a business model in there somewhere … RentaChad? Chadshare holidays?
Single doesn’t necessarily mean sexless regardless of gender. And, of course, being single isn’t some terrible fate. To the extent that single people may be lonely that could be about lack of sex but it could also be abput lack of companionship. More proof that these guys just don’t understand relationships and intimacy. How could they when they view women as objects?
I prefer to own rather than rent. 🙂 🙂
But really, as a very conventionally attractive woman (though with unconventional sexuality) with multiple partners they would consider Chads things really really do NOT work like they think. They act like we somehow are lucky to have male attention whether we want it or not. For every man I find attractive there at least 50 I’m not attracted to and of those how many do you think go away and respect my choice when I tell them I’m not attracted to them? And obviously not all the men I find attractive, who are rare enough, are willing and able to share the kind of intimacy I prefer (even if they say they are at first). Then there’s all the bullshit of the ones I’m not attracted to acting all entitled because supposedly how I dress is supposedly sending a message. That’s the exact bullshit that NiceGuy(TM) creeps put out. Like I’m somehow lucky that a guy claiming to be a friend still leers creepily at me even after I told him it grosses me out that he does, and yet I’m the one oppressing him because I’m supposedly inciting his leer because of what I’m wearing. That makes me so mad and reminds me of the whole agression of refusing to even speak correctly using correct terms for my body.
I prefer women, can I have some Stacies instead of Chads? There’s a pandemic, so I can’t invite them over much, but the bringing food would be nice.
Really? Last I checked none of these men proud to be “going their own way” have any hobbies. Maybe they’d be less assholish if they did (though that would require patience they probably don’t have).
Another thing which distorts sex surveys is that in a patriarchal society men tend to inflate their partner counts while women tend to decrease theirs. So the reality is more likely that on average men and women have had about the same number of partners.
In my personal experience, the more likely primary explanation for the skewed median is that, when you have a situation of a handful of dates and maybe sex once or twice, and it clearly wasn’t going anywhere, women generally don’t count that as a “relationship”, but men generally do. I couldn’t say if that’s typical, but it makes some sense.
Another possible skew factor is what people consider to be sex. IME a lot of heterosexual people only consider PIV to be sex (and sometimes include anal and/or oral), while LGBTQIPA+ people are more likely to count other kinds of sexual practices as sex.
So this really hits me today because well, I had a really shitty experience today…
I’ve been doing online dating and I messaged a guy who tried to match with me earlier. His first response to me was calling me a bitch for not getting back to him sooner. So I responded that I wasn’t his bitch and reported him but it still just makes me feel icky,
Sorry, I feel like I always interject stuff that has nothing to do with the topic and is really all about me.
Oh rubbish. There are plenty of single men burning through partners in the club scene, or were in the Before Times.
Single never meant living a chaste monkish existence. It could, but more often, it just means someone who either wants to stay unattached or someone between relationships.
What a ridiculous strawman.
@Yutolia
Sorry to hear that. That guy sounds like a possessive asshole, you should feel justified in reporting him and getting him out of your life.
@Yutolia the Laissez-Fairy Pronoun Boner
I’m so sorry that happened to you. I’m glad you reported the jerk. He deserves to be thrown off the app or site.
I thought the “you didn’t text me back!” meltdown was something only a certain type of hyper social highschool girl did.
At least you know why he’s having trouble dating…. ?
@ yutolia
Actually* your post is exactly on point. It’s a personal illustration of the topic at hand. But even if it wasn’t; you’re still perfectly entitled to bring it up. Your feelings are totally valid and this is a place people are able to get things off their chest.
One thing I would say though is, you shouldn’t have to feel icky. You did nothing wrong and it looks like you dodged a bullet there. I know emotionally there can be that tendency to feel bad about stuff like that; and there’s no way of short circuiting or over riding that; but hopefully intellectually you know you have nothing to berate yourself for.
(*see what I did there)
I’ve had the opposite observation, women, especially very young women, assuming much more investment in a relationship that’s just starting, vs men making a clear distinction between just hooking up and actually going out.
But I suspect maturity is more of a decisive factor than gender. These are communication/insecurity issues.
@NOBODY
There could also be some cultural factors at play as well, someone’s background could determine how they treat relationships. For instance, women from conservative religious backgrounds will be more likely to invest heavily in relationships because that is what they have been raised to believe in.
@Yutolia
Good for you. That took courage. I’m glad you shared that experience with us.
So a woman “pouts” about being single, but a man truly suffers. This must be why MGTOWs — who have gone their own way? — feel a need to call women names, dox them, and threaten their lives. It’s because they’re sad.
Oh no. The implication seems to be that Chads do not bring wonderful meals with them when they stop by for sex. So much for my fondest hopes. Damn you, Chad.
@Kat
While they’re definitely not happy, I think they’re more angry than sad. Though for many those two emotions are linked, as men are taught not to show sadness and instead to show anger.
@Naglfar
I agree. They’re more angry than sad, which is exactly the way I feel right now about Chad not showing up with delicious food. I’m a reasonable woman and don’t insist that he work his fingers to the bone. Takeout would be fine.
@Kat
If Chad is slacking off, it’s someone else’s chance. Maybe Tyrone can bring something. Or Stacy or Becky, if they’ve got time.
So I’d better not hear any man ever again ask a woman out (since she’s already taken by default, and he’d be a cvnt for asking), or if she’s single *because….of course, that just can’t be true). Never ask. Never again. Never. Ever. I dare them, I double dog dare them. Oh wait, what am I thinking? They WILL.
Well that didn’t last very long, now did it?
Nothing worse than a hive mind consisting of mainly low functioning narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths whos self esteems are so bedrock low, they have to resort to this lunacy. They never make sense, even in the realms of their own bizarre rules.
@Naglfar
BRB. Have to text three people.