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By David Futrelle
What if incels took a break from their endless circle-jerking about the putative evil of “femoids” and “cucks” and how the world treats them so badly it’s like another Holocaust, and decided to put some of their energy into making the world a better place for incels?
Well, some incels have decided to do just that, setting up a website for a largely imaginary incel political party, complete with statements of principle and even a half-baked platform. Not surprisingly, it urns out that their vision of an incel utopia would destroy the civil liberties of other people while keeping incels themselves as miserable as they already are.
The platform on the Incel Party site is a genuinely weird set of proposals, ranging from the almost sensible (their version of universal basic income) to the bizarre (forcing Hollywood to make “More Michael Cera movies, but where he is not just shy, but unemployed and living with his parents”). You see, as the platform explains,
The national socialists were able to convince a buncha Germans that Jews needed to be gassed (against human nature, as gassing is not a natural human drive). Similarly, (but non-violently) we could legally convince women that unemployed men are desirable through hollywood movies. IE men don’t need hollywood to adjust our sexual drives, but women do. And it wouldn’t be scamming women, but genuinely overriding their nature. Female sexuality is more influenced by social mores than male sexuality.
The incels are not big on respect for women.
In case you’re wondering, the Incel Party platform has a solution for that whole “involuntary celibacy” thing: “Pay femcels and incels to date each other.”
Given that most incels don’t even think that femcels exist — because every women on earth can apparently get all the sex she wants — I’m not quite sure how this plan would work on a practical level.
And apparently this plan would only work for white people, as the platform also demands “[s]tate mandated femdom girlfriends for all people of color. No they won’t be paid.” What if people of color don’t want femdom girlfriends? More to the point, what if the femdoms don’t want to be femdom girlfriends for incels? Women’s bodies can’t simply be distributed like government cheese.
The party also has a rather unique program for helping millennials aquire real estate: simply confiscate homes now belonging to boomers. But don’t worry! The boomers would still be allowed to live in their old homes alongside the new owners. “We are not trying to just kick Dad out.,” the Incel party helpfully explains.
The strangest demand?
Make all anime real life immediately with absolutely no exceptions.We will seize the portal to imagination land the government has and bring all the anime girl to our reality.
Depressingly, alongside all this ridiculousness, the Incel Party devotes most of its energy to a completely self-destructive platform plank: “Abolish psychiatry.”
Most incels could benefit immensely from good psychiatric care or, at the very least, therapy. But that’s incompatible with the basic tenets of their intensely pessimistic and self-defeating “black pill” philosophy, which holds that psychiatry is a simultaneously ineffective yet also dangerous attempt to control incels and others. As the Party asserts on a page devoted to the suject:
Psychiatry is an instrument of social-control for deviants who aren’t in regular jail. In other words, “Society’s Sewer“. If you deviate from society in any meaningful way and you do not live on your own, expect to meet a psychiatrist at some point in your life.
It’s basically RD Laing meets Scientology, though the incels insist that their irrational, pseudoscientific hostility to psychiatry is is somehow different than Scientology.’s irrational, pseudoscientific hostility to psychiatry.
The entire project reflects incels on their best behavior. There are no nasty attacks on “foids,” no creepy discussions of the sexuality of underage girls, no glorification of Elliot Rodger or other incel mass killers. But incels are incels, and the Incel Party website is as suffused with misogyny as any Incels.co forum rant. And the site is steeped in the nihilistic pessimism of the “black pill” philosophy. It’s telling that the platform offers only jokey non-solutions (“make anime real”), “solutions” that abrogate the rights of others, and the wholly self-destructive demand to abolish psychiatry, which in the end is one of the few things that could bring incels back from the edge.
It would all be a lot funnier if it weren’t also so sad.
H/T — once again goes to Twitter’s @EXPELincels, whose tweet brought my attention to the incel party website
O/T: High profile TERFs (including one who is supposedly a doctor) are now recommending that instead of transitioning, children and adolescents should listen to music, do drugs, and have sex. I’m not sure why they think reviving rave culture will make people not want to transition, but I feel like the “advising children and adolescents to take illegal substances” part might be illegal and if so should be reported.
Well, there are sub-genres of that, most of which aren’t as well-represented in the Western flavor, so that’s a whole ‘nother rabbit-hole…
Making Elfen Lied a reality would be rather hazardous. That being said, diclonius would deal with incel just right, just a pity for all other people in the crossfire.
I vote to make Puella Magica Madoka a reaity first. That’s another clusterfuck of problem, but at least problems that look awesome.
In general, my first thought about “make anime real” is that it’s a world-ending catastrophe given given how many animes are post-apocalyptic hellholes.
Indeed. That said, the anime/manga does raise the question: do the diclonius desire human genocide because of their DNA, or because of how badly they’re treated by humans in laboratories?
On another note I’m hoping for an Open Thread regarding the huge explosion in Beirut this morning. There are a lot of questions. Mostly, who the fuck allowed 3000 tonnes of ammonium nitrate to be stored in a warehouse in the goddamn capital city??
Yes, it’s hard to say if they are fucked up because of their origin or because of their upbringing.
That being said, they develop lethal powers way before being adult, and it’s no the kind of power I would entrust even to the average adult, so they are inherently hazardous. It’s pretty hard to find educators willing to risk their lives if one of the children thow a tantrum.
For Beirut, part of the answer lie in that similar explosions happened in cities in the past all over the world, including France at least, and not that far away. It’s very easy for humans to rationalize that level of neglect because the danger is pretty abstract (low odds of an *extremely* bad outcome), so the only somewhat reliable solution is having labor safety inspector with real power and who are uncompromising. Something hard to consistently have in a prosperous country, and even harder in one in an economic crisis.
Au contraire…. In my experience, male sexuality (or the expression thereof) IS a social more’….
I dunno, I feel like almost all the anime that got remade with real life actors have been at best mediocre and normally absolute garbage. See:
-Dragon Ball Evolution
-Live-action Death Note
-Live-action Fullmetal Alchemist
-Live-action Ghost In the Shell
Etc.
Can’t imagine why fans of anime would want any more of that.
… Oh wait you mean make anime premises a reality in our world? Yeah all right, good luck with that.
@Ohlmann
Mine’s the same thought as crops up any time the “Which movie universe would you live in” question crops up:
None of them.
I’m NOT THE PROTAGONIST!!!! I’d be one of the bystanders getting squashed by a building as the hero battles evil, or trying to fit a six foot body in a damned Hobbit hole.
It’s not a huge incentive to switch universes … 😛
@Threp
I don’t know, there aren’t that many movie universes which concurrently have fascist dictator wannabes, pandemics, and environmental crises concurrently.
See, if we’re talking which animes to make real, I want a Bulbasaur. or Chi from “Chi’s Sweet Home”.
Yes, living in the Pokemon world don’t look so bad comparatively, even despite the war and everything. Even Lyrical Nanoha should be overly safer than down here.
I got asked by my friends which fictional universe I’d like to live in and I picked Equestria (from My Little Pony). Not because that’s my favorite universe (though I did enjoy the show), but because I figure that one gives me the best odds of having a long, safe and happy life as a minor character.
(If I had to pick a specifically anime universe I’d probably go with a slice-of-life one. Maybe the Anohana universe, it’s close enough to our reality but I do have a small chance of being able to see a departed loved one.)
@Catalpa
I only watched a few episodes of that show. I enjoyed what I saw, but the thing which really turned me off of it was that for some reason it attracted a lot of creepy dudebros who made very sexualized fan art of the characters. Obviously people can like what they like and I have no problem with adults enjoying a TV show aimed at young girls, but I find it rather problematic that they flooded the community with fetish art when there are a lot of minors into the show.
There’s also some stuff in it that I read as possibly racist, but I’m not sure because I didn’t watch much.
It was Zecora shouting Swahili-accented gibberish, wasn’t it.
I’m picturing something like this:
//thumbs.gfycat.com/BossyFailingHarlequinbug-mobile.mp4
Of course, Paprika/Dr. Chba, being a psychiatrist, is no doubt not the kind of woman incels want.
Aren’t there already a lot of movies and shows in which some guy who in RL would not be considered much of a catch by conventional society ends up with the hot girl solely on the strength of being the protagonist? It’s the underlying premise of most late ‘80s and early ‘90s sitcoms, for a start.
I would definitely go for Pokemon.
@Ariblester
I didn’t see that episode, but that’s definitely racist. I was more thinking of how all the ruling ponies like Celestia have white fur while her royal servants have black or grey fur.
There’s also some not-very-subtle queercoding of some of the characters, which may or may not be an issue given that a lot of LGBT people seem to like the show. I haven’t watched enough to really know.
I’m not sure I’d want Spirited Away coming to life.
Oh really? Considering how much incel “wisdom” is just uncritically regurgitated tropes from ‘80s teen movies, maybe Hollywood *should* do some work on adjusting incels’ expectations. Seems like they’re the suggestible ones, not women.
If I had a nickel for every MGTOW with a Tyler Durden or Matrix avatar, I’d have…a crapton of nickels.
@Buttercup
Probably better than all the ero guro animes coming to life, though.
I do think there’s a real issue with how films like that promote unrealistic ideas for adolescents, but of course incels would never acknowledge that because they don’t want to change. This is also why they don’t like psychiatry: because that would put the onus on them to change and they couldn’t claim it’s everyone else’s responsibility.
The worst part is that they all totally misinterpret both movies. The fact that they think those films somehow reflect “red pill” ideology tells us exactly how seriously to take them.
It’s my understanding that Yuri on Ice, an anime about a figure skater is based on Yuzuru Hanyu (I’ve never seen it so can’t confirm), so that’s kind of anime being a reality.
@Buttercup
IDK though, incels getting turned into pigs is a fun though.
I think Spirited Away would make an okay reality. I mean, eating spirit food is very bad for the parents, but are there any realities where that’s not a very bad choice? And in the end, the shitty boss is called out for shitty behavior by her own kid. We could use a lot more of that in the real world.
The Incel Party seeks the portal to imagination land to change women’s sexuality so as to provide dominant partners for their members while the Boomers watch (either the in-house show or the mandated Cena movies, or both at once) ….. ?
@ naglfar
the 4 princesses of equstria are white, black, pink and purple
and I always thought the posh ponys white skin to be like rich people’s white clothes they are the only ones who can keep them clean because of the lack of physical labour.