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By David Futrelle
Attention asexual ladies and lesbians! It looks like the incels have figured out your dirty little sex secret, which is that you don’t exist. No matter how you define your sexuality you are actually Chadsexual — able, willing, and eager to have sex with any Chad that comes your way, even if you pretend to like only women or to not like sex at all.
That, at least, is the consensus over on the Incels.co forums, where the regulars like to discuss this topic endlessly, and then some. “The only female sexuality is Chadsexual,” declares a fellow called Simp, speaking for many. “Every single woman would fuck Chad. Even ‘lesbians.'”
A commenter called Reprobus is very angry at all these phony lesbians who won’t fuck less-than-perfect specimens of manhood like himself. “I hate foids in general,” he begins,
but lesbians are the greediest of the bunch. Lesbians, it doesn’t matter what they look like can get a girlfriend and the odds are never against them. …
And they don’t even need these girlfriends, because there are men out there waiting to have sex with them.
Women in general don’t need to be lesbian, SO MANY MEN on Earth will fuck them any day of the week. NOTHING about being lesbian is difficult they are a waste of resources and the ultimate sign of greed.
And why do they resort to buying dildos when real penises are available for nothing?
There is NO reason a foid need to use some plastic dildo when 1000 other men in their phone will do it for free. ALL lesbian sex emulates how a man fucks a woman for the most part.
To borrow a line from Marge Gunderson: I’m not sure I agree with you a hundred percent on your police work there, Lou.
I believe there is a sound reason for any man to be frustrated with these foids, they will date land tank foids that you mog from hell and back and ACT like you don’t exist. BUT as soon as Chad comes walking in he’s the prize.
OverForRedditcels manages to work the dogpill (eugghh!) into his, er, analysis.
All foids are hard-wired to be chadsexual. They might fuck a girl or a dog once in a while if Chad is not currently available, but it’s impossible for them to overwrite their natural attraction to Chad.
Ionlycopenow thinks it has something to do with makeup. After all, women are
repulsed by all things ugly. And since the average woman, while ugly and often uglier than the average man, can put on makeup and reach 7/10 (something very rare for men who can’t fraud), they would rather just go with women instead if Chad isn’t available.
A-virgin-n*gger, meanwhile, is similarly convinced of the non-existence of asexual women.
If a femoid is in an environment full of subhumans, she will claim to be asexual but once that Chad/Tyrone comes along, she will become the degenerate slut all other femoids are. They are all Chadsexuals. I’ve encountered my fair share of self proclaimed asexual femshits, each turned out to be worthless whores who go to clubs and suck off every Chad and Tyrone they can.
Commander-zoidberg adds:
Its just an excuse not to have sex with their looksmatch because they only want chad. You see it all the time.
Well, despite all the wrongness on display here, these guys are right about one thing: No women regardless of sexual orientation wants to have sex with them.
Could their utterly terrible ideas and feelings about women have anything to do with it?
H/T — EXPELincels who inspired me to look into incels’ ideas about “chadsexuality.”
@Miri
I’m not completely sure about this, but I seem to have read Spock as agender when I first watched TOS as a kid. That may have been more projection than anything, even though I can still kind of see it when I squint.
@Naglfar
Luckily, this was covered in the conversation. Since being asexual means only that you don’t experience sexual attraction, it doesn’t mean you can’t have a libido. So, Spock’s libido would only come around for pon farr. I don’t know how this works with how pon farr is depicted in canon after TOS.
(Apparently the creators said already in the sixties that Vulcans can have sex outside of pon farr, but Spock doesn’t seem interested [in TOS].)
EDIT: It now occurs to me that this was all years ago and I haven’t really hung out in ace spaces since, so I don’t know if having a libido would have you classified as grey ace nowadays. Despite being ace, I’m definitely not an expert on this either, but I don’t see what libido has to do with it.
@Masse_mysteria
That makes sense, I didn’t realize that. Apologies for my earlier misunderstanding.
I can’t think of any books I’ve read with Aro protags. But I have decided in my own head that Merida from Brave and Muriel from Muriel’s Wedding are Aro.
Why would an aro person have a wedding? On the other hand … an asexual dating app? What would you do with your dates? Just hang out? How’s that differ from ordinary friendship?
Meanwhile, OT but scary news: I read somewhere that someone in Calgary (in western Canada) nearly died of H1N9 flu. I can’t find any information about how he was exposed, which is shocking, since the last time I checked that was a bird flu that couldn’t easily spread from human to human and was still confined to China. How is it now infecting Canadians? If there is an outbreak of this in humans in Canada why is there hardly any news of it?
@Surplus
H1N9 is exceedingly rare to transmit among humans, it usually only occurs in people who got it from birds. You’re not seeing reporting on an outbreak because one person is not an outbreak. As well, the social distancing measures for COVID have dramatically reduced deaths from the flu, so an outbreak of H1N9 or other influenza strains is unlikely at this time in Canada. He was also infected in February, so if he had spread it we would be seeing more cases by now.
As for ace people on dating apps, I’d imagine they are looking for romantic relationships without sex, but I don’t know.
Been meaning to check this book out. But I had no idea Ze Maven of Zee Eventide was ace, despite having followed her stuff for quite a while. I’ll up it on the priority list!
@Surplus : while the H1N9 started in China, it had spread to America, so nothing strange to still have it in America. It’s very deadly, so people dying from it is, sadly, expected. Nothing seem to indicate it’s more contagious, so pretty much nothing news I guess ?
Since it’s an animal virus, there could be sporadic case for a long, long time. It’s similar to rabies in that it’s hard to catch but you really don’t want to catch it.
I guess spoiler warning for a 90’s movie.
Muriel’s Wedding wasn’t all that much about a wedding. Muriel is a socially awkward and overweight (by movie standards) woman who is unpopular and unloved in her small Australian town. She’s obsessed with Abba and wants to get married. She finally enters a marriage of convenience with an elite level swimmer who needs Australian citizenship. But she never has any real romantic interest in any male character and eventually admits to herself and her best friend that the reason she so badly wanted to marry was because someone wanting to marry would prove she’s worthy as a woman. The happy ending is Muriel leaving her marriage to move to Sidney with her best friend.
Although I was never obsessed with weddings and marriage, I can relate a bit to this movie because before I realized I was aro I would get down on myself because I was usually single and when I did date, it never lasted. Then I realized that I wanted the validation much more than a relationship and as a result felt much better about myself.
Aces aren’t necessarily aro and finding other aces to date might be a nice thing because they do the dates and the cuddling and potentially marriage without the pressure to have a lot of sex.
A variety of reasons. Potential bureaucratic reasons like sharing health insurance, obtaining citizenship, etc. Or maybe because the aro person wants to commit to a queerplatonic life partner, and marriage is the only mechanism by which our society recognizes a deep bond between two people. Or maybe they haven’t come to terms with being aro yet and are letting society dictate the kinds of things they should want (it seems like Muriel is a bit of the first reason and a bit of the last reason, from the plot synopsis I’ve read).
I don’t know that I’ve come across any allosexual aromantic protagonists either, which is a shame. Mostly there’s only folks of the aroace persuasion. I hope I can find some representation of the rest of the spectrum of folks somewhere.
I imagine that even the randiest relationships probably only consist of 10-15% sex (aside from those in which hooking up is the only purpose), and probably most of them consist of much less than that. A relationship between alloromantic ace people would probably include all/most those other bits (you know, kissing, dating, hugging, snuggling, emotionally intimacy, etc.) and likely just exclude the sex parts.
@Surplus- that’s the million dollar question. I can’t speak for alloromantic aces or their relationships, but my ex (who’s also aroace) and I really just had a friendship with benefits (snuggling and other forms of non-sexual physical contact). I think with alloro aces there would probably be a more “romantic” aspect of their relationship, and maybe with some aces there might be a sexual aspect to the relationship, but I wouldn’t know anything about that.
Also, as an aro, if I got married it would be for tax/social benefits lmao.
@VP
Ha! I hear her on that – current protag enjoys sex immensely (and surprisingly indiscriminately as I simply do not write sex scenes!) but romance? Forget it, she’s got zero interest in it. She is quite insistant on that.
@Dali
Definitely on the list now, thanks! Some of the best examinations of the various aspects of being and staying human come from none human or (sorta-human) protags.
@Threp
Seconding the Murderbot Diaries rec. The original novellas are brilliant, and the new novel is so much fun. Murderbot isn’t interested in sex at all, and it has some rather snarky commentary about humans who seem to think it SHOULD be interested in sex.
If you like webcartoons, Danielle Corsetto’s GirlsWithSlingshots.com has a character who is polya, queer, alloromantic, and ace. While the series is now complete, it was originally b/w, and she is reposting as she colors, with commentary. Very fun.
@Surplus- Being ace doesn’t make me aromatic. I want to be with someone who loves me and accepts who I am. I still like kissing, snuggling, etc. I just don’t want to have any kind of sex.
I’m pretty sure I’m demi, because the idea of IRL sex/relationships has me ‘eehh’, but for all I know it might be the meds (a fair trade, methinks). Even if I wasn’t, neither the mythical ‘chad’ or incels would prompt any desire other than to… not be there.
@Troubelle once you can cosplay again, consider FatGum from Boku no Hero Academia. A chubby guy and a total sweetheart, plus his kit looks fairly comfortable to, yanno, exist in (always a plus at cons).
@Naglfar:
Yes, I’m also the a-trifecta.
You can even add a fourth a for autism to that!
I have no libido. At all.
My view on sex is can be summed up like this:
Bit icky, and way too much effort for a bit of fun. Especially if you own a vag and might not even get off when with a dick haver.
I’ve sadly encountered incel and MRA types in real life. They are fucking boring because actually talking to them about ANYTHING BUT about how mean the world is to men is impossible.
Seconding “Every Heart A Doorway”! It may be my favourite short novel. The main character makes me so happy.
With regards to the subject of this post, however, I’d like to proudly state my (probably a*) woman who is (definitely) asexual status. I have a Someone and we have sex because he is not just allosexual but hypersexual, but he understands that it is an act of pure love on my part.
*I’ve mentioned before that I’m pretty loose on my gender identity. I’m not questioning or exactly genderqueer, I’m just loosely attached to being a woman.
@Knitting Cat Lady- I have ADHD 😀 here’s to being fellow neurodivergent a-trifecta people! *raises glass*
If anybody needs me, I’ll be off contemplating the irony of an incel calling other people “subhumans”.
Anyone have thoughts on how you’d define Hannelore from Questionable Content?
@tim
Not sure , I never really though about it. I do wounder how society views Human/AI relationships .
Note that Hannelore don’t have relations with AIs, or anybody else for that matter.
She honestly seem like someone who put her time elsewhere more than asexual/aromantic.
Hannelore is canonically allo, IIRC. She just has serious mental issues related to physical contact.
@Ohlman
I was referring to Faye and Bubble’s relationship. I don’t think its ever really came up but as I said I’m curious to know how society in general views human/AI romantic relationships.
@Dalillama
Yeah I’ll agree with that although I think She’s starting to get a bit more comfortable with physical contact. I think she’s given out at least one hug to a friend to console them.
@Dalillama
Is she autistic? I’m not familiar with the story at all, so I could be way off, but I and many other autistic people don’t like physical touch much.