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Some vagina tips from a dude who knows less than zero about vaginas

A rare seven-vagina couch

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By David Futrelle

Hey, vagina-havers! If any of you are in need of some unsolicited advice about your vaginas and their proper upkeep, there;s a dude on the Standardcels subreddit who would be happy to help.

Well, maybe “happy” is the wrong word for it.

In a post with the combative title “Advice to foids on how to take care of their vagina because they’re too dumb to figure it out on their own therefore require men to teach them,” an incel Redditor called Representative-Way39 warns against the nefarious practice of “jamming shit up there,” specifically tampons.

If that’s too small to read:

modern vaginas are just as repulsive as their bearers.. all historically depicted pussies are neat and tucked, they didn’t have massive dildos or have sex with countless men. and no pedo but no young prepubescent girls have roast beef, this shit only happens after they start jamming shit up there.

GIRLS when you put your tampons in do it delicately, too many of you pull the vagina to the side too roughly, OF COURSE doing that is going to cause the flaps to become worn and become loose and dangle. you fucking stupid repulsive cunts, god damn yous are so stupid, you can’t even handle taking care of your vagina without men having to tell you what to do. fucking idiots.

It’s bizarre that guys who have never seen a vagina in real life think they know so much about them. Dude, vaginas (or more specifically vulvas) look all sorts of ways. Some women look “neat and tucked,” while others have external labia that look like manta rays. It has nothing to do with what’s been “jammed” up there, and it certainly isn’t the result of “rough” tampon insertion.

An artist named Jamie McCartney plaster-casted 400 vulvas for a project he called “the great wall of vagina.” The point of the endeavor was to show that perfectly normal vulvas can look radically different from one another, as a quick look at a segment of the wall makes abundantly clear.

McCartney did the same with a smaller selection of penises both flaccid and erect and guess what? They looked different as well.

Incels’ insistence that most women’s vaginas are “repulsive” is truly the worst case of sour grapes I think I’ve ever run across. It’s also completely self-defeating, if their goal is to someday, you know, actually get laid; no women wants to be with a guy who thinks like they do.

H/T — r/BlatantMisogyny

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StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
4 months ago

This is also a very one sided occurrence, as I’ve never heard anyone refer to the combination of penis and testicles as just “the penis” or “the testicles.”

You’re right, it is. And what angers me is that they act like it doesn’t matter. My body and my clothes are part of my art. I like to play with shape, color, contour, texture and light. One of the reasons why when my outfit base is tights under a leotard or bodysuit that I don’t wear a skirt over it (aside from the fact that I hate it and don’t have to, did you read that incel creeps?) is that I usually want to include just the right parts of the curves of my mons pubis as a focal point and it has to look just the right way. It’s only a bodysuit cut a certain way and that works for that look *and* only tights made of certain materials and just the right denier that will work and even then I have to be very conscious of how I stand and move every second, being very conscious of the light source in order to get the image I want. And “focal point” means focal point of the picture I’m making although creeps think it means “invitation to leer” and NiceGuys(TM) grossly think it means I’m unfair because they “have to…” see me dressed that way which is “unfair” because I’m not attracted to them and then that entitled attitude is not enough and they have to go further and not even recognize me as having a human being’s anatomy.

Sorry for the rant everyone. Everyone here is nice and deserves good energy. It just pisses me off.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 months ago

@Surplus

Though I’m not sure how much of a market there is there …

Yeah, I don’t think horseshoe crabs have menstrual bleeding because they don’t have uteruses.

Their blood is not their only attribute that is blue, their eggs are a greenish blue color.

@Stacey

I usually want to include just the right parts of the curves of my mons pubis as a focal point and it has to look just the right way.

Are you familiar with Leonardo da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man drawing (link cw nude sketch)? Although the drawing is of a cis man, it centers around the mons pubis as well. It could maybe inspire your outfit design and art in some way.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
4 months ago

@Stacey

I hate how they can’t or won’t say vulva and call everything that they are creepily talking about a vagina. I’ve had creeps talk about “vagina” or “pussy” when it obviously they mean (creepily) mons pubis.

I really think you’ve hit the nail on the head with this one. We’re not making enough fun of the guy in the OP. We laugh at him and his ilk for not grasping the difference between vagina and vulva, but they’re not even referring to the whole vulva — just to the mons, the bit you see when a female-shaped person is standing naked in front of you. This explains what he means by “historically depicted pussies” — statues of Venus, for instance, which don’t exactly go into detail around that part. Thus the absolute horror of “roasties” whose labia can be seen dangling even just a bit when they’re standing.

It even explains his creepy comment about prepubescent girls (which he clearly realizes is creepy, given that he worked out he ought to say “No pedo”). That’s what he’d remember from first learning about sex differences, whether from kindergarten explanations that “boys and girls look different,” living somewhere where youngs kids run around naked, or even playing doctor. Your experience may vary, but surely the most common form of “You show me yours and I’ll show you mine” between boys and girls just involves pulling down your underwear and seeing what your fronts look like, as opposed to a full gynecological examination of the girl? (I don’t think it would even have occurred to me there might be anything else to look at, since, y’know, the front was clearly where the difference was.) Which means that’s what comes to mind about what the vagina might be, along with the creepy idea that that’s what it should always look like.

I will, however, admit that never seeing one part of the male genitalia used to refer to the whole makes sense to me, in that the components are a lot more clearly two different things than outside vs. inside. Not that that excuses poor knowledge of anatomy.

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 months ago

This is also a very one sided occurrence, as I’ve never heard anyone refer to the combination of penis and testicles as just “the penis” or “the testicles.”

I mean, there is “kicked in the balls”, even though I assume that the penis would likely also be kicked, given the relative location of the organs.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 months ago

@Rabid Rabbit

which he clearly realizes is creepy, given that he worked out he ought to say “No pedo”

Maybe it’s just me, but I found that part almost worse. It’s like he knows it is creepy, but instead of reflecting on that and deciding not to say it he chose to say it anyway.

I will, however, admit that never seeing one part of the male genitalia used to refer to the whole makes sense to me, in that the components are a lot more clearly two different things than outside vs. inside.

It could have something to do with that, but I think it’s also because we have a culture that portrays cis women and their genitalia as somehow mysterious and yet still not worthy of study. Most cis men probably could not label a diagram of the vagina and associated reproductive tract, and I’d bet even a fair number of AFAB people couldn’t because it isn’t as widely taught.

@Catalpa

I mean, there is “kicked in the balls”, even though I assume that the penis would likely also be kicked, given the relative location of the organs.

I don’t think that’s referring to both as just “the balls,” though, since the intense pain is associated with specifically getting hit in the testicles. It’s referring to the testicles specifically, not the penis and testicles.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
4 months ago

Yes, if a man isn’t erect, hitting him in the penis isn’t particulary painful or anything. Testicles is what is … sensitive.

Ariblester
4 months ago

Somewhat related:

A poem that doesn’t quite scan,
and obviously written by a man,
regarding the names for the female genitalia,
was linked in a thread on Ars Technica:

The Doctor’s Lament

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 months ago

Yes, if a man isn’t erect, hitting him in the penis isn’t particulary painful or anything. Testicles is what is … sensitive.

Huh. I always figured that both of the bits would be sensitive.Today I learned.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
4 months ago

@Catalpa

Oh – you notice it right enough, but it’s not bad. Bout the same as being punched in the arm. Problem is, getting hit in the dick and dick ONLY is rare – they’re attached to each other.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
4 months ago

@Naglfar

Yes, I know Da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man but thank you for the thought. My favorite Renaissance painter is Artemisia Gentileschi. 🙂 Sometimes I wish I could have met her.

I’ve been drawing from stuff the 1960s, 70s, 80s and 90s a lot and putting things together. The fabrics that they made workout clothes in the 1980s let me do things playing with lighting.

@RabidRabbit

We laugh at him and his ilk for not grasping the difference between vagina and vulva, but they’re not even referring to the whole vulva — just to the mons, the bit you see when a female-shaped person is standing naked in front of you. This explains what he means by “historically depicted pussies” — statues of Venus, for instance, which don’t exactly go into detail around that part. Thus the absolute horror of “roasties” whose labia can be seen dangling even just a bit when they’re standing.

Yes you are right and that makes it worse because by doing that they’re also denying the reality of what they are looking at. When I choose material for a leotard and alter it as part of how I am working with the shape of my mons pubis as artistic presentation that’s a conscious creative choice and they demean that by not even being able to speak about me, my body and what I’m doing artistically. Like what I’m doing isn’t just happening. It takes work and skill. There are precise stitches I have to make to get the fit just right and nylon and lycra aren’t exactly easy fabrics to sew on, thank you. It is bad enough that they all do it but when it’s a guy I know who is claiming he wants to be friends I already am dealing with NiceGuy(TM) entitled whining but then they are even more disrespectful by not even being able to use the right word in their complaining. I make a point of using the real word when I call a NiceGuy(TM) out for leering disrespectfully so that they have to hear the actual words “mons pubis” and “vulva”. They should have to acknowledge respectfully the reality of human bodies, especially mine.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 months ago

@ staceysmartypants(x2)removed

My favorite Renaissance painter is Artemisia Gentileschi.

I’m a bit of a fan too. Not so much for her paintings, excellent though they are, but her attitude.

I’m hoping to see this. And one of the benefits of the lockdown is they used the delay in opening to acquire loads more material

https://www.nationalgallery.org.uk/exhibitions/artemisia

numerobis
numerobis
4 months ago

The whole region that catches you when you slip off your pedal when getting on your bike is very sensitive. The penis much less so.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
4 months ago

@Alan

I love that! Thank you. I like her self-portrait miniature and how she painted very strong women. And her paintings stand up to creeps. I wonder how incels would say Susanna was bathing at the leering gross creeps in that painting of hers about that scene and say it was her fault. So gross. But I love Artemisia.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
4 months ago

Meanwhile, it turns out that along with knowing nothing about vaginas, men don’t know much about dicks, either: https://www.realclearscience.com/blog/2020/07/30/penises_are_much_shorter_than_you_think.html

I can’t wait to hear the angry whining from the manosphere.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 months ago

@Rabid Rabbit
I’m not really surprised that men don’t know much about penises, I’d imagine many are not very receptive to advice/education on this matter.

TMI: I guess this means I’m above average by a decent margin. Not sure how to feel about that, seeing as I’m not a man.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
4 months ago

@Naglfar:

I recommend bathing in the delicious, delicious schadenfreude of imagining the manospherian rage at the fact. (ut try not to think about the TERF reaction.)

Grebetrees
Grebetrees
3 months ago

I had to click on the link to the wall of erect d*cks. I just had to. It was hilarious. I laughed out loud, but the children did not hear me