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By David Futrelle
Hey, vagina-havers! If any of you are in need of some unsolicited advice about your vaginas and their proper upkeep, there;s a dude on the Standardcels subreddit who would be happy to help.
Well, maybe “happy” is the wrong word for it.
In a post with the combative title “Advice to foids on how to take care of their vagina because they’re too dumb to figure it out on their own therefore require men to teach them,” an incel Redditor called Representative-Way39 warns against the nefarious practice of “jamming shit up there,” specifically tampons.
If that’s too small to read:
modern vaginas are just as repulsive as their bearers.. all historically depicted pussies are neat and tucked, they didn’t have massive dildos or have sex with countless men. and no pedo but no young prepubescent girls have roast beef, this shit only happens after they start jamming shit up there.
GIRLS when you put your tampons in do it delicately, too many of you pull the vagina to the side too roughly, OF COURSE doing that is going to cause the flaps to become worn and become loose and dangle. you fucking stupid repulsive cunts, god damn yous are so stupid, you can’t even handle taking care of your vagina without men having to tell you what to do. fucking idiots.
It’s bizarre that guys who have never seen a vagina in real life think they know so much about them. Dude, vaginas (or more specifically vulvas) look all sorts of ways. Some women look “neat and tucked,” while others have external labia that look like manta rays. It has nothing to do with what’s been “jammed” up there, and it certainly isn’t the result of “rough” tampon insertion.
An artist named Jamie McCartney plaster-casted 400 vulvas for a project he called “the great wall of vagina.” The point of the endeavor was to show that perfectly normal vulvas can look radically different from one another, as a quick look at a segment of the wall makes abundantly clear.
McCartney did the same with a smaller selection of penises both flaccid and erect and guess what? They looked different as well.
Incels’ insistence that most women’s vaginas are “repulsive” is truly the worst case of sour grapes I think I’ve ever run across. It’s also completely self-defeating, if their goal is to someday, you know, actually get laid; no women wants to be with a guy who thinks like they do.
H/T — r/BlatantMisogyny
@Nagfljar : I can admit they would never *admit* to have put something up theirs ass, but that a good portion of them have experimented with that seem likely. Toxic masculinity is perfectly compatible with hypocrisis.
Vagina care begins by vacuuming thoroughly and sewing up any minor rips with upholstery thread. Work a can of Simoniz cream thoroughly into the crevices, then, with a soft rag, buff the rich Corinthian leather to a high sheen. Take the labia in to the dealer for periodic detailing as outlined in the instruction manual.
In the off season, leave a baseball inside so it keeps its shape over the winter.
Why don’t feeemales understand simple vulva maintenance?
Nah.
It’s fear, that’s all. A complete, crushing, overwhelming fear of women.
Gay, Narnia level or not, has nowt to do with it.
@Ohlmann
I guess it would depend on whether most cishet men have tried putting things up their butts. I’d imagine incels would be a bit less likely to than the general population, but maybe they’ve done it in secret.
@Buttercup
I think you just predicted Gwyneth Paltrow’s next product line.
Her cluelessness about vaginal health is quite similar to the incels, but probably more dangerous as she actually sells dangerous products relating to it.
I was making the butthole comment because that is literally an orifice that regularly experiences stretching when we defecate, and yet you don’t hear about incels worrying that they’d become more incontinent over time due to overuse*, despite worrying about how something as slender as a tampon will ruin anatomy forever.
*and they should, since they’re so full of shit ?
I haven’t had enough caffeine to deal with this. Good thing this guy’s never going to be in range of my body.
@Naglfar:
Unless it’s called something like r/Tencel and it’s just people talking about rayon fabrics.
I’m still very confused by these guys’ view of biology. Do they think blowing one’s nose will result in enlarged nostrils? People aren’t made of plasticine.
@Ariblester
Apologies, I misinterpreted that as being about anal penetration, since AFAIK incels think that things exiting the vagina like menstrual material cause stretching. And also because there has long been a persistent myth that anal sex causes incontinence, and incels might subscribe to that. But maybe I’m just overthinking this.
This might be tmi but
the 1st time I got labia shamed for my roastbeef flaps was by another girl when I was 11, years before I used a tampon so much for prepubesent girls being neat down there
Great bleeding shit.
Conservatism has a worship of ignorance that is stunning.
Re the picture: I think that’s a six-vagina couch. The ones on the sides are half a vagina each. 🙂
Jamie McCartney’s project seems cool, though I feel like having plaster there would be uncomfortable!
@PoM re lookism: Yeah, it’s weird – well, not so weird, considering who we’re dealing with – that incels focus so much on look discrimination but don’t realize they’re doing it themselves. And I’d bet the aims of feminism would most likely help them, not hurt them, since lookism tends to affect women first and then filter down to men.
I mean, not always, but that seems to be the trend. E.g. with pubic hair. The idea of it being gross or messy-looking on women seemed to come first, and now there are ads for “manscaping” and such.
@Epitome
Well, there’s six vulvas, but we can’t see if the half vulvas have full, half, or no vagina, so I’m not sure if the couch has 5 vaginas (if the halves have none), 6 (if each has a half), or 7 (if each has a whole). I realize I’m overthinking this.
It seems like they project it onto women to try to avoid coming to terms with how they do it themselves. As for why they reject feminism, it’s probably because even though it would help them, the focus is on women and they don’t want anything to do with something that doesn’t center them.
Since all the “manscaping” products I’ve seen in ads look like regular electric shavers, I would guess the manscaping stuff is probably a cash grab by shaving manufacturers to get men to buy more electric shavers.
I’m vegetarian so what do I know, but I thought meat-eaters rather liked roast beef.
Pretty sure they did the impression mould with latex or similar, then cast the actual display piece in plaster. That’s how they do custom dildos, at least. You really don’t want plaster on your sensitive bits. 😀
@Sheila Crosby
Might be the case for a scant few. I also know some trans women friends who were vagina (and women) haters before their egg cracked. Not all, obviously, but a few. Apparently a lot of their hatred from that time in their lives was based in raging jealousy, but they didn’t know that until they realized what was going on with their own identities.
That being said, I think it’s unlikely they’re all gay or trans women. Those would be a tiny minority at best. They’re probably mostly just misogynist assholes who hate feeling like they’re being denied something they think they’re entitled to and they’re coping by pretending it’s not good enough for them.
Hey, what’s old Paul up to these days?
https://twitter.com/paulbullen/status/1100851128516829184?s=19
Ah, his treatise on mansplaining the word vagina is up to 44 pages now and was last updated in April. You know, more than a year after he became the dictionary definition of mansplainer.
@kupo
He’s still at it? That is…something.
Nice ratio on his tweet too. That is one of the highest I’ve seen.
@Threp – Yeah, that makes sense! I figured it was a two-step process since the final design wasn’t inverted, but I don’t know what clay-like substance you could put there that wouldn’t be uncomfortable 🙂 I guess latex could be molded – I never thought about that.
@Naglfar – Yes, but! Your overthinking has a logic to it and it made me laugh! 😛
…
OT: So I did something today that I was dreading; I scheduled a phone appointment with a doctor to talk about my anxiety. It’s for Wednesday morning. So what I have to do before then is write down the points I want to cover.
I don’t think need medication at this point, but probably some type of psychotherapy. Either way, money is a concern, but I think it’s worth it. Anxiety isn’t like a constant problem that prevents me from doing everything, but it still comes up a lot…
My panic attacks gradually tapered off after 2012, when some stressful stuff happened, but in the pandemic time they’ve come back. I become more liable to panic if I’m alone at home, hungry, too hot or cold, or tired; I nearly canceled the trip I took from Montreal to Toronto earlier in July with my boyfriend (by train and staying at his mother’s house so it was fairly safe) because I felt really, really scared right before leaving. Not so much because of the virus – the general anxiety around that was maybe part of it – but because of the fear of doing something new. And I felt nauseous most of the trip, which is unusual for me (I don’t get motion sickness, so it was probably from the anxiety).
It makes sense to be nervous about meeting your partner’s mom for the first time, and to be cautious because of the coronavirus, but not to let it affect me to that extent.
Anyway, my challenge is to write about these things concisely so that I’m clear with the doctor over the phone. I’m not the best at being concise!
Neat and tucked.
This guy should really look at some art history. For instance, Shunga. Or if he wants to be a typical racist euro-centric,
Sheila-na-Gig.
I hate how they can’t or won’t say vulva and call everything that they are creepily talking about a vagina. I’ve had creeps talk about “vagina” or “pussy” when it obviously they mean (creepily) mons pubis.
It’s using words to try to exert control.
They’re mad because they can’t control my body.
It’s usually a NiceGuy(TM) when he’s advanced to jerk stage because I’m not attracted to him and he’s mad about how I’m dressing “at” him. Or existing “at” him.
@epitome
Dental alginate is a common one. It works at body safe temperatures, and doesn’t have any dangerous reactions while setting (plaster of Paris can cause nasty chemical burns)
@Stacey
This is also a very one sided occurrence, as I’ve never heard anyone refer to the combination of penis and testicles as just “the penis” or “the testicles.” It’s always “male genitalia” (which has its own issues as a term) or “penis and testicles” (or something cruder like “cock and balls,” but even then it names both separately). Yet few sources mention “vagina and vulva” or similar.
@Bakunin: I once had my face cast with dental alginate for a stage makeup class. It was mint-flavored, as it turned out. Refreshing!
@epitome
Panic attacks are bad enough at the best of times, but those that hit ‘without good reason’ always seem to me to be particularly vicious. 🙁
Well done on making an appointment with the quack!
@SideVagina:
What is this, the Dark Ages? We’re dealing with medievalism here …
I guess because the idea of women understanding their bodies absolutely terrifies old conservative white men.
Now now. No need to get speciesist. There’s nothing wrong with advertising feminine hygiene products for horseshoe crabs. Though I’m not sure how much of a market there is there …
And (in context) that’s a side-splitter. Please excuse me, I think I may need medical attention.