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Today’s Episode of MGTOW Cooking brought to you by Acme Frozen Green Beans

Mmmmm! And they’re even better cooked!

By David Futrelle

It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!

But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!

Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.

Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.

But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.

The guy posted this under the headline:

Get a girlfriend/married, she will cook for you. Surrrrreeeeee. I’ll gladly cook a gourmet Italian dinner with a delicious wine for myself by myself because we all know women dont cook. CHEERS GENTS!

These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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an autistic giraffe
an autistic giraffe
9 months ago

How would you all like it, if I dismissed the entire concept of socialism or wealth redistribution based singularly on the actions of previously existing socialist governments?

Honestly I would consider that entirely fair. Any ideology can be made to sound nice in theory, what matters is what happens in practice. Basically all fascist governments have been brutal, violent and incompetent, so it’s completely reasonable to dismiss anyone who supports it, and if they think otherwise they carry the burden of proof. An yes I will say the same for communism. Social democracy on the other hand has an excellent track record so if you want to tell me it’s going to turn mass murdery tomorrow when it hasn’t at any point in the last few decades, well lets see your evidence.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
9 months ago

I was in the MIDDLE of making a point before you banned me, thank you very fucking much!!!

Only SIX CAPITALIZED LETTERS and a mere three exclamation points!!! for this post, which makes JUST AS MUCH EXCELLENT SENSE AS THE REST OF THIS TROLL’S POSTS??? This poster is AN ABSOLUTE SHITLORD OF RESTRAINT!!!

Kevin
Kevin
9 months ago

@ Skimmingway

Longstanding bioscience graduate here. Want to comment on my view of bubonic plague?

@ Everyone

Yersina pestis isn’t always spread just by fleas. Safest to avoid reservoir species altogether if you can.

Mrs. Obed Marsh
Mrs. Obed Marsh
9 months ago

You should just be grateful that I’ve even taken the time to try and educate you dolts. I should have known that it would have been a task that even Sisyphus wouldn’t trade his boulder for.

You should have known an audience that’s already hostile to your ideas was never going to give you a warm reception, and yet you went for it. In fact, you’re still going for it even though you admit you’re wasting your time.

You’re not very bright, are you?

Prith kDar
Prith kDar
9 months ago

The safety rules which you have tried to foist upon me with your condescending wiles were made for more delicate sorts of people

Actually, they were made to cope with more dangerous strains of E. coli that have evolved over the last 60 years or so due to overuse of antibiotics in cattle. There was a time when a dose of E. coli would’ve just given you an uncomfortable time on the toilet rather than a trip to the hospital. That time is over.

@Ohlmann:

I am fond of deities that blend gender roles, like him or Athena.

Then you should really love Loki! He wasn’t just about subverting gender roles, like by giving birth or appearing as an old woman, but also species, by becoming a salmon, fly or mare (as such he was the mother of Slepnir by the stallion Svaðilfari). Some of the children he fathered were also not exactly humanoid, like Fenrir the wolf or Jormungandr the serpent. Loki do what Loki want and Loki don’t care about no labels! Though sometimes he can take it a little too far…

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
9 months ago

I was in the MIDDLE of making a point before you banned me, thank you very fucking much!!!

Not going to snark you, because there are faint glimmers here (at least to me) that you actually might be worth something someday. Besides, that’s been covered by more witty people.

Clear, concise, accurate. You should try doing these if you want to make a point, or provide a briefing or an alternative viewpoint. This is a life skill you will need, no matter what you do or where you are in your career path.

Right now you are doing your damnedest to sound like a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like. That only works on stupid people, and not even then if you piss them off by talking down to them.

You’ll ignore this, of course, but figure it’s still worth saying.

skimmingway
skimmingway
9 months ago

@all of you

You are all wasting my time. I have not need to waste my time on a bunch of ingrates who’s indoctrination has left them incapable of appreciating any kind of information, nutritional, political, and so forth, that I have been so kind as to dispense with. You people really need to pull your goddamned heads out of your asses.

an autistic giraffe
an autistic giraffe
9 months ago

^Well you can stop posting whenever you want.

So can you give me any examples of fascist governments that are anything but incompetent thugs? That might give me a reason not to see you as an incompetent thug.

Snowberry
Snowberry
9 months ago

@Skimmy:
Probably most people TL:DR’d my last wall-o-text in this thread, and I wouldn’t blame anyone, but one of the points of it was that when I go among people people whom would probably be very hostile if they knew my real beliefs, I engage with them in their own language, and on their own level. (And I make *sure* that I understand their language usage, so I don’t mess it up.) I don’t antagonize them, don’t push anything on them, I don’t even ask them what they think about their enemies, instead I get them to talk about themselves – how they see themselves, what they believe, why they believe. Occasionally I get someone to reconsider their beliefs with subtle, private pushes, though that isn’t my primary goal. (My primary goal is to learn about as much of the full spectrum of human beliefs and social structures as reasonable. I’ll let you speculate why.)

You want to engage your enemies? People who you consider ignorant fools? Maybe reconsider your approach. Also, maybe not try to take on a mockery site, regardless.

Lainy
Lainy
9 months ago

@skimmingay

You weren’t welcome here to begin with pal. Your dumbasa decided to come in and talk about how only man can diguest raw meat and then got your ass handed to you. Go cry harder piss baby if your skin is so thin lol.

Chris O
Chris O
9 months ago

Just finished reading those verbal train wrecks Skimmingway has the nerve to call posts, and holy mackerel, my head is spinning like a NASA centrifuge.

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
9 months ago

I know this is probably a bit belated, but this is really bugging me and I just gotta address something with the recent hate monger of impotent rage in the comments.

@skimmingay

I tend to use a large vocabulary because I used to read a lot as a child and never really stopped and tend to make fairly regular use of my larger than average vocabulary merely out of habit; but for pity sake man: I try to use actual terms and vernacular in their actual contexts and use commonly expressed parlance to properly and effectively convey my thoughts, positions and thesis so people can actually grasp, understand and engage with what I’m saying and trying to get across.

So far all you’ve done, in comparison: is speak a lot of opaque gibberish jammed into a gear of militant, fascist apologist toxicity, red herring ad hom, logical fallacy and smattered with an opening screed of outright psudo-sceince. You cleary didn’t come to “educate” as you so falsely asserted; you came to attack, insult, berate, and spread anti-logic, Neo-reactionary propaganda in act of intentional, willful and explicit bad faith

Also making our whole praxis of “being a real man” begin and end with what you eat and trying to force an ill conceived and psudoscience bit of Nutrition woo as “All meat diet” is both myopic, arbitrary, childish, stupid and toxic as all hell. All your doing is just playing yourself with that crap. I mean heck: even people in the past didn’t sustain themselves on only a diet of meat. Heck; your nutritional paradigm, among other diseases and nutritional deficiencies that negatively affect your nutritional health by following it: is a pretty darn good way to get scurvy and rickets.

Your just making yourself out to be an obnoxious jabroni peddling nonsense and unjustified hostility.

Also; notice that while my response is, while admittedly rather verbose; it is still of considerable legibility and accessibility to other people in order to better provide ease of communication and understanding between all parties involved?

I’ve seen Binary Code more easy to understand in comparison to your so called “attempts” at communication.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@Threp

Right now you are doing your damnedest to sound like a stupid person’s idea of what a smart person sounds like.

I believe that’s the appeal of Jordan Peterson. To someone who knows nothing, he might sound like he knows what he’s talking about. Same with other alt right pseudointellectuals.

@skimmingway

You are all wasting my time. I have not need to waste my time on a bunch of ingrates who’s indoctrination has left them incapable of appreciating any kind of information, nutritional, political, and so forth, that I have been so kind as to dispense with.

The door’s easy to find. Don’t let it hit you on the way out.

You people really need to pull your goddamned heads out of your asses.

Again with the projection, dude.

Seriously, nobody asked for you to come here. And I’m not the one wasting my life screaming about Evola and projecting all my flaws onto others.

Before you leave, however, I am mildly curious for my own entertainment to know your thoughts on the following topics:
1. Chemtrails
2. LessWrong
3. Race
4. QAnon
5. Flat Earthism
Care to enlighten us?

@Lainy

and then got your ass handed to you.

It’s a bit entertaining how he keeps getting his ass handed to him yet keeps coming back for more. Like how Charlie Brown always tries to kick the football but falls flat on his back when Lucy pulls it away in the old Peanuts cartoons.

skimmingway
skimmingway
9 months ago

@Nfart

1. My contention is that so-called “global warming” is likely a product of such actions. The goal is to provide humanity with an impetus to transcend nation states and build a government so big that there is no where on earth to escape from it.

2. I’m not a regular.

3. It’s real.

4. Epstein proves it.

5. No.

Now good day.

Amtep
Amtep
9 months ago

Much like with Jordan Peterson, it would be unfair to judge skimmingway until he’s fully completed making his point and we’ve read and understood all of it. He should be getting around to the point-making in, oh, around 500 posts or so. Until then, we can but wait. And definitely not ban him in the middle of it.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
9 months ago

That was definitely a ride. I enjoyed the twist were skimmingway shouted about being banned and then pretended it didn’t happen so that he could go on educating us.

In the future, I’d like educational posts with source links. How will I ever learn critical thinking if I just have to stare at a list of names? Surely I can’t be trusted to look the names up myself? Why, I might run into some leftist propaganda, and then where will I be!

Lizzie
Lizzie
9 months ago

I just can’t get skimmers’ phrase “arrogant snout” out of my mind, I think I might like to embrace that; I want an arrogant snout! Could be hard to put a mask on it I suppose, will have to think about that.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
9 months ago

Well, a snout’s a cigarette, so …

comment image

(hoping this works)

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@skimmingway

My contention is that so-called “global warming” is likely a product of such actions. The goal is to provide humanity with an impetus to transcend nation states and build a government so big that there is no where on earth to escape from it.

So you’re going with denial.

It’s real.

How so? If race was real, presumably there would be some basis deeper than sets of physical traits. Modern science agrees that race as it is commonly described is not real. Are you into phrenology?

Epstein proves it.

Hold on a second. Epstein was friends with Trump. So wouldn’t that disprove any idea that Trump is somehow leading a crusade against pedophilia if one of his best friends was at the center and he wishes well of Ghislaine Maxwell?

@Amtep

Much like with Jordan Peterson, it would be unfair to judge skimmingway until he’s fully completed making his point and we’ve read and understood all of it. He should be getting around to the point-making in, oh, around 500 posts or so.

Apologies, I forgot because there were no stans shouting about context.

C.A.Collins
C.A.Collins
9 months ago

Wow. I honestly thought this one was subtly mocking other trolls, not a JP-wannabe. Boy, is my face red.

Catalpa
Catalpa
9 months ago

How so? If race was real, presumably there would be some basis deeper than sets of physical traits.

Race is real in that it is a social construct that deeply impacts the lives of people. Our concept of race has real, tangible effects on basically everyone in our society. It’s real in the same way that gender and money and other social constructs are real. There is no objective, universal law that dictates the existence of these things, but the way we interact with the concepts is real.

Of course, I’m sure that our troll meant “race is real” in the racist, phrenology-adjacent way.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@Catalpa
Yes, I am aware race does have impacts on people as a construct, I’m not trying to deny the impact of race on individual and group lives. I was going off the assumption that he means the latter idea and is pro-phrenology, given his love of fascists.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 months ago

Bets on whether skimmingway sticks the flounce?

1. My contention is that so-called “global warming” is likely a product of such actions. The goal is to provide humanity with an impetus to transcend nation states and build a government so big that there is no where on earth to escape from it.

Someone who believes chemtrails 1. are a thing, and 2. are a NWO conspiracy doesn’t seem like the type to successfully stick the flounce.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@PoM
I find it a little bit funny how he thinks global warming is real but for the wrong reason, as he blames it on chemtrails.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 months ago

a government so big that there is no where on earth to escape from it

This just struck me … is skimmingway a sovcit? Where does he think one can go on earth that is not under the jurisdiction of some government or other? Other than that patch of desert in Africa that nobody wants? Even the oceans are under maritime law (gold fringe!).

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@PoM

This just struck me … is skimmingway a sovcit?

At this point it wouldn’t surprise me. His favorite philosophers that he name dropped seem to be a mix of fascists and ancaps (which overlap a lot) and a lot of fascists in the US also claim to be sovcits, so he could be. Plus he talks a lot about “the sprawling state” which, while a a standard mainstream conservative talking point, is also a big thing for sovcits.

Where does he think one can go on earth that is not under the jurisdiction of some government or other?

The Antarctic Treaty says that Antarctica does not belong to any country and that claims to it are not recognized, so maybe he can go there. I wouldn’t miss him.

Curious now if he’s also an antivaxxer/COVID denier.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 months ago

The Antarctic Treaty says that Antarctica does not belong to any country and that claims to it are not recognized, so maybe he can go there. I wouldn’t miss him.

That doesn’t meant that the long arm of the government can’t reach you there and you can do whatever you want. You’re still under the jurisdiction of your flag. Murder isn’t legal just because it’s Antarctica.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@PoM
I know, but I feel like your average sovcit weirdo might not know the difference between de jure and de facto. Plus, maybe he’ll go there, I hear they don’t have much internet connectivity.

numerobis
numerobis
9 months ago

Naglfar: amusingly enough, contrails are recognized as a warming influence.

To the tune of about 1% of what greenhouse gases are doing.

Also of course they dissipate in a matter of minutes, as opposed to tens of thousands of years.

The whole chemtrails things is amazing. My ex-SIL was a believer, despite being a GA pilot herself — she should understand the science of condensation well enough, since you need to in order to fly safely. She’s of course since lurched into basically all the conspiracy theories, because if you’re susceptible to one you’re susceptible to all of them.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@numerobis
I can see that, what I was poking fun at was his belief it’s a conspiracy to make a NWO government.

She’s of course since lurched into basically all the conspiracy theories, because if you’re susceptible to one you’re susceptible to all of them.

Crank magnetism is one hell of a drug. It‘s like there’s some sort of pipeline effect where promoters recruit people into one conspiracy theory, then lead them to others to keep them listening and buying products. Like a conspiracy theory conspiracy or something

Of course, my favorite chemtrails reference is this xkcd comic:comment image

Lainy
Lainy
9 months ago

@naglfar

He’s such an idiot it hurts and he seems to really hate you because your actually smart enough to hand his ass to him.

Some Chick in Texas
Some Chick in Texas
9 months ago

So he pretty much admitted he just made up “Bismarkian pretension” and then got mad when no know knew what he was talking about. And that he’s a fascist. And that he’s easily angered. Also, I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but yes, white supremacy is a form of fascism. What mental gymnastics do you have to go through to get to “white supremacy isn’t fascism?” Like what do you think it is then? A t-shirt aesthetic? And the whole “climate change is an NWO conspiracy!” Dude, really?

Anyway, puff pastry. My daughter is on a serious baking kick. She’s going to try her hand at puff pastry. Any good beginner projects or tips? I really need her to get away from cakes and cookies and buns for my waistline’s sake.

Lainy
Lainy
9 months ago

Skimmingway will be back. His kind can’t bare to stay away because like a lot of idiot men he can’t keep his mouth shut even if his life depended on it and he thinks free speech means others should be forced to listen to him.

Lainy
Lainy
9 months ago

@texa chick

Tell her not to over knead the dough because then it just turns into bread and doesn’t puff right.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@Lainy

he seems to really hate you because your actually smart enough to hand his ass to him.

At this point I’m just trying to see how deep he goes. That’s why I suggested he talk about QAnon and chemtrails. Anyway, I’m sure at some point either David will get tired of him and give him the boot or he’ll finally flame out and say what he’s actually thinking about various minorities and get the boot. Either way, I give him 24 hours max.

@Some Chick in Texas
It’s been a long time since I made puff pastry, but one project I can recommend is a strudel. Although historically made with various different kinds of dough, I’ve made mine with puff pastry and it turned out well. And strudels can be filled with all kinds of things, so you have some options in that regard.

Some Chick in Texas
Some Chick in Texas
9 months ago

@Lainy
Thanks! I’ll let her know.
@ Naglfar
Ooo, strudel, that’s a great idea!

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
9 months ago

Ooh, are we talking about baking now? Cool!

My favorite bread cookbook is Bernard Clayton’s Complete Book of Breads. The kolach recipe is one I wish I could still make … lemon zest and eggs and pecan halves. Alas, it’s harder to manage portions when you’re looking at a big braided loaf, and with bread this tasty, it’s like trying to eat one potato chip.

The good news is, I found a tasty diabetic-friendly/gluten-free recipe. It’s not the same as being able to enjoy a homemade loaf without having to do serious math, but it hits enough enjoyment points for me.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 months ago

@Some Chick in Texas

I’ve never made puff pastry but I’ve watched a ton of the Great British Baking Show and that makes me practically an expert.

The secret to puff pastry is to refrigerate the dough and butter after each layer turn-and-fold step. It takes a minimum of an hour and a half to make it, because of this don’t-skip refrigeration step. The key is that you want the butter to melt into the flour IN THE OVEN and not before it reaches the oven, but of course butter melts in your hand and on the counter especially once it becomes very thin. So don’t skip or half-ass the refrigeration steps.

Also, if you fold the dough like a book (fold each half over inward first and then fold in half with the “pages” inside) each time you turn-and-fold you get more layers per turn than if you fold into thirds. This is straight out of the mouth of Paul Hollywood.

Some Chick in Texas
Some Chick in Texas
9 months ago

@Policy
We love the Great British Bake Off too! I think that’s what started her current obsession.
Puff pastry in Texas in the summer might be a little challenging is what I’m hearing.

Catalpa
Catalpa
9 months ago

https://bakingamoment.com/crusty-french-baguette-recipe/

This recipe is probably my favorite when it comes to bread; it makes a lovely crusty baguette with just 4 ingredients. Though I do knead the dough more than the recipe calls for, mostly because I use all purpose flour and it doesn’t have as much gluten as bread flour.

StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
StaceySmartyPantsTwiceRemoved
9 months ago

Looks like I missed a troll that was either really gross or the takedown of the troll was entertaining. Seems like maybe he was talking more about other stuff in addition to women having the right to have sex with only the people we’re attracted to, which my big cause 🙂 but I know with misogynists it’s all related. I do pride myself on being good at tormenting trolls because of how I live and what I do and doing it so unashamedly so I regret missing him.

Oh no, wait. I don’t.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@Stacey

Looks like I missed a troll that was either really gross or the takedown of the troll was entertaining.

I’m sure he’ll be back this evening. The takedown has been somewhat entertaining but he’s quite dull.

Seems like maybe he was talking more about other stuff in addition to women having the right to have sex with only the people we’re attracted to

He started out talking about how MGTOWs are good cooks, actually, then slid into a weird thing about how real men™ can eat raw meat, then from there it wasn’t too far to get to defending fascists, all while projecting very hard. Oh, and he has a lot of conspiracy theories.

The main thing that seems to make him obnoxious is his purple prose. Everything he writes is so verbose and bloated with unnecessary flourishes he is quite hard to read. He thinks he sounds profound, but really he sounds pompous and like he’s overcompensating with style for his lack of substance.

Nequam
Nequam
9 months ago

What Naglfar said; in fact, the guy was dishing out the violaceous fustian so thick that I assumed he was a parody account. (Aside: “violaceous” and “fustian” are fun words, but really those are the sorts of words that, like many spices, should be used sparingly.)

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
Threp (formerly Shadowplay)
9 months ago

He is a bit of a roynish scribe.

TacticalProgressive
TacticalProgressive
9 months ago

@Naglfar

The main thing that seems to make him obnoxious is his purple prose. Everything he writes is so verbose and bloated with unnecessary flourishes he is quite hard to read. He thinks he sounds profound, but really he sounds pompous and like he’s overcompensating with style for his lack of substance.

Heck, speaking as someone who has a larger than normal vocabulary due to being a ravenous bookworm since childhood and using such vocabulary due to habit; even the terms and vocabulary I use while participating in mutual discourse: I at least try to make half way comprehensible and remotely discernible parlance and terminology to at least ensure the layperson can understand just what it is I’m saying and what point I’m trying to get across.

All he has done, besides using ad hom, projection, strawman, and other retinue of logical fallices (the lowest, weakest and worst forms of discourse mind): is use a Neo-reactionary in group virtue signal via incomprehensible lexicon of alt-right glossary that you would need an Enigma Machine to decode.

Mrs. Obed Marsh
Mrs. Obed Marsh
9 months ago

Indeed, his tedious pedantry is the height of puerility. I’d wager he’s most amusing at fetes!

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

He is of no honorificabilitudinitatibus.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
9 months ago

But does he remember to spell “abhominable” with an “h”?

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

Do we think skimmyboy has finally stuck the flounce? He seemed pretty annoyed in his previous post that we weren’t taking in his, erm, lessons, so maybe he’s left for good. In that case, he falls into the rare category of trolls that stick around long than the comment-and-run ones but leaves before getting the banhammer.

Of course, since he was never banned there is still the possibility he’ll show up uninvited in another thread.

Catalpa
Catalpa
9 months ago

I predict he’ll show back up in a new thread 6-8 weeks from now.