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Today’s Episode of MGTOW Cooking brought to you by Acme Frozen Green Beans

Mmmmm! And they’re even better cooked!

By David Futrelle

It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!

But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!

Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.

Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.

But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.

The guy posted this under the headline:

Get a girlfriend/married, she will cook for you. Surrrrreeeeee. I’ll gladly cook a gourmet Italian dinner with a delicious wine for myself by myself because we all know women dont cook. CHEERS GENTS!

These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Mrs. Obed Marsh
I think they’re playing off of the idea of women’s studies as being a useless major, then thinking that because most librarians are women, thinking that all librarians must be feminazi harpies.
It’s a reach, but that could be what they’re thinking. My experience with librarians largely mirrors yours.

@jy3

autogratification through the computational equivalent of your own vocalizations

I get the feeling this is the motive behind a lot of manosphere writing.

C.A.Collins
C.A.Collins
4 years ago

Bismarck pretension=cream filled rather than jelly filled?

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

re: “Bismarckian Pretense”

I did a bit of googling to see if that exact phrase comes up anywhere else, and it doesn’t. However, I did find a few references to Bismarck’s military campaign against France. He supported the liberals in their attempt to overthrow the conservative government, and then attacked during the resulting chaos. Despite that, he never conquered France (though it’s not clear if he actually meant to), just managed to keep France busy while he expanded Germany elsewhere.

Given that, I suppose that one could use it as a metaphor for “supporting causes you don’t believe in as a trojan horse for a sinister agenda” or something similar, which is something that a lot of Conservatives seem to believe about Liberals (and antisemnites believe about Jews)… but as most people aren’t history buffs and literally no one uses that phrase, that’s a virtually useless way of communicating it.

Or maybe he meant “Lamarckian Pretense” as a metaphor for pushing purposefully bad science, because “real men eat raw meat” is “good science” somehow. Who the hell even knows.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Snowberry

supporting causes you don’t believe in as a trojan horse for a sinister agenda

Isn’t this basically what the right is saying when they accuse people on the left of “virtue signaling”? When really conservatives do this all the time, arguing in bad faith for things they don’t want in order to cause harm.

Or maybe he meant “Lamarckian Pretense” as a metaphor for pushing purposefully bad science

Or he thinks that if he acquires the trait of being able to eat raw meat he will pass it on to his offspring?

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
4 years ago

Going back to the original for a moment, if “women dont [sic] cook,” what the hell are they doing in the kitchen all the time with their unsanitary bare feet?!?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ rapid rabbit

what the hell are they doing in the kitchen all the time

Being pregnant? I seem to recall that’s the trifecta.

Lainy
Lainy
4 years ago

This is off topic but I just want to say something about it because it almost made me cry when I saw it

So when I was little I had a love for DC, most like the kid shows they had for it, Batman the animated series, justice league, static shock, teen tittans and so forth. But most of all was a love for Young justice

So LockDown brought back my love for DC because I discovered that They started making Young Justice again is 2019. So I bought the first two seasons to rewatched and mentally prepare myself for the new version Young justice Outsides.

Without spoiling to much, there is a teenage character named Violet, their hero name is Halo, and a few episodes ago they just came out as NB. They are also such a great character. And I’m not just saying that because I usually fall for characters whos costume has some kind of hood on it. I highly recommend

Please note, I think DC realized that anyone who watched young justice is grown up, so Young justice is so unbelievably bloody and Halo is kind of like a Jack Harkness character. They die and come back a lot.

www.globalvitaminshop.com

My three-year-old niece speaks better than you write. That kind of nonsense?

Snowberry
Snowberry
4 years ago

@Naglfar:

When really conservatives do this all the time, arguing in bad faith for things they don’t want in order to cause harm.

I would argue that the bulk of traditional conservatives, or at least the rank-and-file, don’t believe that the harm is real, or occasionally, that the harm is necessary in the short run. If people would only stop resisting and do what is good and right and natural, then the suffering will end. (I mean, “suffering brings you closer to God, but I’m exempt” types do exist, but in my experience they’re a tiny minority.) The fact that their concepts of good and right and natural are not experienced as such by the “resistors” and that’s why they’re suffering, and that many of their own are suffering as well and repressing it hard, is something they can never allow themselves to notice. To paraphrase Hitchhiker’s Guide, “No they won’t, because they’ve been programmed not to.”

A lot of the Trad-Con leaders, and most of the Alt-Right, on the other hand, sometimes the cruelty really is the point. I’m not certain some of them are even conservatives philosophically, or really anything other than sociopathic, sadistic opportunists. Other times it’s about elevating their own (perceived) moral status by denying other groups of people their moral agency (both by denying its existence and their ability to effectively wield it), or occasionally, fomenting genocide. That’s not morality, but an atrocious perversion of it, akin to being the best at something not by improving your own ability but by damaging your competition’s ability, or occasionally, killing your competitors. Not that either of those types would ever admit it.

Dalillama
Dalillama
4 years ago

@Snowberry

I would argue that the bulk of traditional conservatives, or at least the rank-and-file, don’t believe that the harm is real

Why? What evidence do you have to support that proposition? In my experience, they actively fucking gloat over the harm they and their representatives do.

I’m not certain some of them are even conservatives philosophically,

YES THEY FUCKING ARE. That’s conservatism. It’s never been anything else and never will be. The term was literally coined by and for fucking monarchists, and has been championed in the US by white supremacists for as long as there’s been a US. Conservative leaders do what they do because they are fucking white supremacists, and their supporters support them foe the same reason. There is no deeper principle, there never has been, and there fundamentally cannot be.

Sheila
4 years ago

@ An Autistic Giraffe.

Dude the world in my head involves Loki, Coyote, Anansi and Sun Wukong competing in a best trickster contest to see who can first overthrow a dystopian theocracy that spans the solar system. It’s very eventful.

I want to read that too.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

O/T: Apparently TERFs have started calling themselves “JKR’s Army” for JK Rowling. Totally not culty and violent-sounding (/s). Projection is one hell of a drug.

numerobis
numerobis
4 years ago

An Autistic Giraffe: I gather fish and their predators don’t typically have any dangerous parasites, so they aren’t very risky. Fish is chopped up raw (typically frozen, since it’ll freeze on the way home anyway, but in summer maybe fresh). Seal is butchered while the animal is still steaming and eaten minutes later. Whale blubber+skin (maqtaaq) is frequently frozen.

Caribou is often stewed but it’s also fairly safe raw: Not so many parasites in wild herbivores in the Arctic.

Walrus is high enough up the food chain to be dangerous: you send the tongue to get tested, the answer is supposed to come within 24 hours. If it’s good, most often it’s fermented as igunaq, an acquired taste. The fermentation apparently doesn’t kill trichinosis.

Polar bear must be cooked; it’s safe to simply assume they’ve got trichinosis.

Occasionally someone dies from untested walrus or from raw polar bear.

Raw fresh meat has vitamin C, which is how Inuit (and Norwegian explorers who learned from them) avoid scurvy. Seafood is rich in vitamin D, which helps limit Ricketts.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
4 years ago

@ numerobis

Norwegian explorers

When Thor Heyerdahl and co did the Kon Tiki thing the (British) Royal Navy kitted them out with supplies; including an experimental shark repellent.

“Does it work?” asked Thor.

“That’s what we’d like you to find out.” the Navy replied.

To tie this in with the eating weird food topic, the crew accidentally ate the shark repellant when they got it mixed up with soup.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
4 years ago

Yessiree, the best durn food for a manly man is somethin raw, preferably kilt by said manly man, mebbe with a bigass gun, or even better, with his bare hands, yesiree.

skimmingway
skimmingway
4 years ago

@you people

You all are Bismarckians insofar as you would see to it that a sprawling, technocratic leviathan run by gassy know-it-alls with no real life experience should make the rules for those of us who are busy living in the real world. You would see to it that the state becomes something of a matron, taking from “bullies” who have more than other children and making them all even, irrespective of their individual merit or prowess. My contention is that, as holders of irrelevant degrees from expensive propaganda institutions, most of you are just utterly distraught that people you should consider your inferiors (ie plumbers, electricians, etc) should be so far ahead of you in the game. As such, your envy compels you to prove that all of that multisyllabic, needlessly verbose nonsense you learned in college is somehow useful, thinking that your high-priced theories qualify you to ascend to the highest offices in the land, whereby you shall claim victory over such gentle people as the tradesman and the trucker through your clearly vindictive use of restrictive, feminizing regulations. To the extent that you are all clearly too useless and lacking in charisma to achieve political supremacy yourselves, you instead opt for wish-fulfillment politicians, like Warren, who you fancy that you might one day sit down and have a Chai latte with while discussing some esoteric matter that no one who’s had less than 6 unpaid internships will care to discuss.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
4 years ago

*reads skimmingway’s latest post*

Eh, I’d give it a 4 or 5 out of 10. We’ve seen better walls of text.

ephemerides
ephemerides
4 years ago

Shorter skimmingway, equally informative:

wall of text MANLY MEN wall of text

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

As such, your envy compels you to prove that all of that multisyllabic, needlessly verbose nonsense you learned in college is somehow useful,

Dude, we’re not the ones treating our thesauruses like reference books for every sentence we write.

Naglfar
Naglfar
4 years ago

@Alan Robertshaw

To tie this in with the eating weird food topic, the crew accidentally ate the shark repellant when they got it mixed up with soup.

Well, I’m sure it kept sharks out of their stomachs.

@skimmingway

you would see to it that a sprawling, technocratic leviathan run by gassy know-it-alls with no real life experience should make the rules for those of us who are busy living in the real world.

As opposed to a country where the president sends in mercenaries to kidnap protestors?

You would see to it that the state becomes something of a matron, taking from “bullies” who have more than other children and making them all even, irrespective of their individual merit or prowess.

Ah, so the mask comes off. How should we determine “individual merit,” then?

My contention is that, as holders of irrelevant degrees from expensive propaganda institutions, most of you are just utterly distraught that people you should consider your inferiors (ie plumbers, electricians, etc) should be so far ahead of you in the game.

What does this even mean?

As such, your envy compels you to prove that all of that multisyllabic, needlessly verbose nonsense you learned in college is somehow useful

Projecting hard, I see.

you shall claim victory over such gentle people as the tradesman and the trucker through your clearly vindictive use of restrictive, feminizing regulations.

I have nothing against truckers or tradesmen. Indeed, it is the left which supports their right to unionize and better working conditions.

To the extent that you are all clearly too useless and lacking in charisma to achieve political supremacy yourselves, you instead opt for wish-fulfillment politicians

As much as I’d love a chai latte right now, I vote for politicians that agree with me because I don’t have the time to run for office. Do you run for office?

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
4 years ago

The only multi syllabic, needlessly verbose nonsense I see comes from Skimmingway. The best writers are direct and to the point. They have no need to vomit words.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
4 years ago

BTW, I’ve never read anything negative from Mammotheers about tradespeople. Someone’s been depending on their Fox news Bag o’ Stereotypes too much to form arguments (or what seem to be arguments).

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Does Skidmarkway talk like this all the time, or is it just when he’s trolling? Because he seems like someone that the meme “sir, this is a Wendy’s” was made for.

Dalillama
Dalillama
4 years ago

@Jackass
Oooh, look at your working class cred, we are so very impressed. Oh, wait, no. It’s that other thing… contemptuous, that’s it. You fascist fucks aren’t champions of the working class and you sound like tools when you pretend to be. Moreso than usual, even. I’d like to see you finish your shift in the kitchen after the tip of your thumb’s been taken off or work through second-degree burns on your hands and arms, and still feed 20+ people an hour, sometimes for up to 12 hours at a stretch. I’m also a Wobbly, cos the IWW really are champions of the working class, and have been since their inception.

Catalpa
Catalpa
4 years ago

I’ve never read anything negative from Mammotheers about tradespeople.

I’d imagine that most Mammotheers are pretty supportive of workers of almost all careers and jobs. We’re all just trying to get by under capitalism.

Except for the cops. Fuck the cops.

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