By David Futrelle
It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!
But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!
Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.
Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.
But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.
The guy posted this under the headline:
These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!
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@PoM
I had similar thoughts. Anything can happen to food between prep and plating. In the case of the person who put raw meat on a wooden cutting board … well, I hope they bring plenty of reading material when they’re dealing with the consequences.
I think it’s great that MGTOWs want to actually do something that makes them more independent. But as someone who takes pride in her own cooking, I feel like they’re wanting a ticker-tape parade for cooking very basic dishes. That’s setting the food safety issues aside. Looking at these photos, I wonder how many of them wash their hands after handling raw meat. Or do they think MANLY MEN don’t get sick unless teh evul womenz cast spells on them?
This all looks diarrhea-inducing. Honestly, I would have more respect if they just had photos of ready-made stuff from like Trader Joe’s.
“Women don’t cook”, let’s see, on Sunday alone I made: Mediterranean herb-baked eggs with bacon and sourdough toast for breakfast; currywurst with sweet potato tots and artichokes for supper; German pound cake for dessert.
I also hit the mother lode of yeast by going to the grocery yesterday on my lunch break (it’s always gone by the weekend), and I got plans for that, girly-girl. I’ve already made khachapuri and focaccia with my current 3-pack.
@VP
The whole manosphere seems to feature prominently the idea of expecting applause for the bare minimum of effort, then getting resentful when they don’t get it. Like the whole “Nice Guy” thing where they are annoyed women won’t date them.
@ Naglfar
That’s likely.
Taking a moment here to plug one of my favorite cooking sites, Once Upon a Chef. Jenn is a former pro chef, now a SAHM, and her recipes range from requiring decent knife skills to the ability to moosh things together in a bowl and stick them in the oven. She’s also great at answering questions re ingredient substitution or alternate prep/cooking methods.
As for my own cooking … Sunday night I made Cajun meatballs, with homemade Cajun seasoning. Last night I made (chicken) carnitas served with homemade lime crema. Tonight I’m going simple with a couple chops seasoned with homemade spicy rub.
I wonder if Skimmingway is aware of pockets of wild game that are reservoirs of bubonic plague, which you can catch by eating the afflicted species raw. A bout with the Black Death would certainly be a challenge to a manlyman(TM) immune system.
Also, google “Jack Monroe” (or try https://cookingonabootstrap.com) for the best food info, from someone who knows after years of feeding herself and her kid on bugger-all money. No snobbery, no condescension, and she offers imaginative and realistic ideas; she knows people without money are usually working twice the hours and have half the energy left (and are more likely to live somewhere with poorer access to fresh ingredients too).
@Catalpa
They had quite limited access to fuel for cooking, being in the arctic, and there are some risks with eating frozen food if you’re already cold. There are also some interesting nutritional benefits to eating things before rigor mortis sets in, as it turns out.
If it is cold enough, sure. This won’t help you during warmer months, and can be inconvenient if you’re already cold and don’t have a good way to thaw or cook the meat.
Nah, they’ve got lots. Diphyllobothriidae are the main ones that spring to mind, but I’m sure there are plenty of others. Fish tapeworm infestation is a lot less likely to kill you or make you seriously ill than pork tapeworms, so the risk/reward balance is a bit different.
(Also, it is worth noting that there are indigenous peoples in the artic circle other than the inuit, who will have similar culinary traditions. It probably isn’t the best term to use as a catch-all demonym, even if it is better than “eskimo”)
When talking about Bubonic Plague, it doesn’t matter if you eat infected vectors raw or cooked. It’s the fleas that carry the disease. It’s endemic in ground rodent populations in pockets all over the world, including the US. Somebody caught it just recently, IIRC. That’s pretty rare these days, and nothing to worry about because Yersinia pestis is a bacteria, not a virus. The biggest danger these days is a doctor, understandably, not recognizing it.
As for eating meat raw, there is a reason why our ancestors stopped eating it that way several hundred thousand years ago. Yes, you can eat raw beef. I recommend a high class restaurant though. It’s in their best interest to make sure the meat was properly treated before it gets to your plate.
As for our troll, he doesn’t seem to get the point of the OP. The men showing off their cooking skills are being laughed at because they seem to think preparing a tasty meal is some esoteric thing that women think only they can do. Men who think like that should sue their parents for not teaching them basic cooking skills. I have kids and grandkids and every single one of them can cook. But then I’m not a MANLY man (in fact, not a man at all), so I must have had some evil intent in teaching my kids to separate their clothes before washing them and how to follow a recipe in a cookbook.
I have a question, well, actually several, but I’ll limit it to a few. How do you “train” your immune system to not get e.coli, salmonella, or tapeworms? Also, what in the world is “Bismarkian pretense?” Finally, editors, do these people not exist in the manosphere? The purple prose isn’t nearly as entertaining as they think it is.
@Pie
Oh, neat! Thanks for explaining that to me, I’ll keep it in mind.
@Some Chick in Texas
I’m not sure. I’d guess it’s referring to Otto von Bismarck, who was the first Chancellor of the German Empire from 1871-1890. Searching for it just brings up articles about Otto von Bismarck, so I’d guess it’s a term our visitor made up.
AFAICT they do not, and nearly all of their books seem to be self-published. Manosphere rhetoric seems to come in varying levels of purple prose, but almost all has this weird self-important pompousness to it that makes them sound like cartoon villains.
Re: Inuit cuisine
Raw meat/fish is generally eaten when it’s extremely fresh. Otherwise it’s fermented or boiled over a blubber-fueled stove. Peoples who live further inland have more varied access to fuels and eat caribou, fish, and assorted small game, usually cooked or dried. Some parts are still eaten raw: fresh caribou brain with a pinch of salt is a delicacy.
And by “wondrous” you mean “shudderingly gross”, amirite?
To tie in Bismarck, dodgy meat and tapeworms.
There’s the tale of the sausage duel. It’s probably apocryphal; but I don’t let things like that detract me from the facts.
I also like this line; it seems apposite.
https://skullsinthestars.com/2014/11/01/the-great-sausage-duel-of-1865/
@Aron, My friend, I drink red with everything!
I have to say I’m slightly in awe at skimmingway’s longwindedness, since it briefly managed to remind me of the mayor of Champignac from the Spirou & Fantasio comics, but the good mayor is (of course) much more entertaining and far more benevolent. Also, he sticks to his stylistic choice without calling anyone Nagglefarts or something, since that’s just crass.
This in particular sounds like an exercise in giving away absolutely no useful information whatsoever. You both perform labours and produce services, gee, how impressive. Do you “perform and produce” behind a curtain, so that no one can see what you’re doing?
I’m choosing to believe it is about the rapper Biz Markie, hence the gif I posted last night.
That’s probably not it though.
Maybe he just doesn’t like Bismark North Dakota?
Maybe. I know it isn’t a terribly exciting town but to hate it? Seems like an over-reaction. Which is par for the course.
I was willing to grant him the “the burrito was photographed before wrapping so you could see the contents,” but then he just went off the rails with the “ReAl MeN eAt RaW MeAt.”
“Library-science-degree-holding ball-busters” is a refreshing change from slamming the “Women’s Studies feminazis,” though. Am now amusing myself with the idea of Mom, cousin Lisa, or late Great-aunt Janette (RIP) keeping anybody salivating on a leash.
“Bismarkian pretensions” I object, I’ve never in my life tried to build up Germany as a world power.
“Library Science Degree Holding Ball Busters” ought to be some all-woman band’s name. The debut album’s art can be inferred from the surrounding context in skummingway’s post.
@Moon Custafer
This is probably for the better, seeing what happened the last time someone tried.
@Surplus
It’s a bit of a long name. Maybe it could be shortened to “Library Ball Busters”? I imagine a riot grrl type band with a thematic focus around libraries and academia.
@Naglfar
I think the silly-exact “Library Science Degree Holding” is part of the appeal, though. Maybe use the ball busting just in ads or something?
@Come On Dude
I also sometimes feel uncomfortable with these threads because I can’t cook. Then I remember that I don’t call my attempts at it “gourmet Italian dinner” and expect praise.
This stereotype about librarians being evil feminist ballbusters is new to me. Most of the librarians I know are mild-mannered older women. I guess some librarian wronged skimmingway in the past and he’s still salty about it?
Yeah, that’s the thing that’s mocked. That and how MGTOW thinks it’s somehow a slap in the face to women that they can boil pasta or put things in a tortilla.
I’m not a terrible cook, but am rarely motivated to actually do it. I eat a lot of meals that are cheese melted on things or boxed pasta or frozen meal. Or delivery pizza or Thai. But I’m not putting my thoroughly unimpressive meals online and boasting about them. Or expecting men to feel shamed by them.
@skimmingway:
Excessive verbiage interferes with comprehension and is contrary to the purpose of communication. Provided, of course, that you are utilizing social intercourse for its customary function rather than autogratification through the computational equivalent of your own vocalizations. Which is a valid source of enjoyment, but we would encourage you to find your own repository for the virtual substances thus produced. (You may have an appropriate receptacle located upon your lower extremities.)