By David Futrelle
It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!
But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!
Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.
Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.
But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.
The guy posted this under the headline:
These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!
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Skimmingway: the troll with a thousand names.
I’ll give this Skimmingway lad credit for an iron stomach – raw meat AND at least one thesaurus? That’s a hell of a thing to try and digest in one go. He certainly seems to be failing.
@skimmingway
Dude the world in my head involves Loki, Coyote, Anansi and Sun Wukong competing in a best trickster contest to see who can first overthrow a dystopian theocracy that spans the solar system. It’s very eventful.
mmmmhhh Loki, good taste my friend.
Also, it is to be known that real MEN ™ like a lovely taenia in their manly stomach. But wait, i am sure that a real MAN ™ organism can manhandle the tapeworm for it to flee screaming “Help ! Help ! I am oppressed by the (digestive) system !”
@An Autistic Giraffe
I really want to read that.
@Threp
Insults about thesauri are overdone and completely ineffective; all you’ve managed to do is praise my verbal agility while looking like a dunce.
Skimmingway: what are your thoughts on eating raw seagull?
Is anyone else getting tired of Skimmingway or am I the first?
I think Skimmingway is making fun of the usual trolls we get and people are for inscrutable reasons taking him at face value.
Anyway, I’m with Catalpa about funny-looking food. The pie my husband made recently looked lumpy and weird (partly because he was trying to work out so many things he hadn’t done before, so he didn’t make the pie crust but rather used two premade shells, one atop the other; partly because its inner ingredients just made it look lumpy) but it turned out quite good all the same.
For the record, he was going off this recipe:
@skimmingway
Lol how about you go shit your guts out from eating raw meat. You really don’t have a leg to stand on here troll boy.
@Nikki
Nah. Dude’s a total Hyacinth. It’s dull.
RE: the Inuit
I expect the reason why the consumption of raw meat is relatively common in Inuit cultures is because they either eat the meat when it’s freshly killed and there’s been limited time for bacteria to impact the flesh, or after the meat has been frozen by the environment. Freezing also works to kill bacteria and parasites (which along with storage/transport considerations, is why most sushi available has been flash-frozen at some point).
I certainly wouldn’t recommend people to eat raw meat straight out of their freezer, though. Cooking is generally a safer way to treat meat, and it makes the meat easier to digest as well.
(It might also be due to the kinds of animals that the Inuit consume; pigs for example are affected by a lot of parasites and bacteria that can easily impact humans as well, which is why it’s important to properly cook it, and is suspected to be partly why pork is forbidden by Abrahamic religions like Judaism and Islam- it was about keeping people safe. Maybe seals and walruses and fish have fewer parasites that can easily cross the species barrier to humans.)
I really like the taste of raw meat myself.
My dogs also like raw meat and eat considerably more of it.
Every quarter or so, I treat them for worms, which is why I don’t eat raw meat indiscriminately. Thin sliced and marinated, yes. Tear it off the bone with my teeth, no.
Wow, a lot happened while I was gone.
@skimmingway
I bet you think you’re clever, huh?
By any chance are you an actuary?
Verbal agility? I guess in the same way that trying to do a gymnastic move and falling over is “agility.”
@Buttercup
Ah yes, this is what a real man™ would do.
@Rabid Rabbit
At least IIRC Peterson cooks it.
@Catalpa
As well, where the Inuit live it is much colder, which would impede the growth of parasites compared to a warmer region where it would spoil faster.
Let me guess: you’re mad that you aren’t being called a hero or an essential worker.
Aw, man, I missed a troll? Or is skimmingway still hanging around?
One of the amusing part with the “defense” of eating raw meat by that troll is that evidence point out to fire being used *MUCH* earlier than any other modern human behavior, dating back to 2 million years when things like abstract thinking or blade technology being more like 200.000 year ago if that. Almost as soon as hominoids started to eat meat, they mastered fire to cook it.
Humans descent from frugivores and are about as well adapted to eating meat than panda to eat bamboo. Raw meat is not only pretty unsafe, it’s also *much* less nutritive than cooked meat. Your immunitary system isn’t gonna break down meat regardless of how uncompromising it is. If do, it’s called a flesh eater infection.
As for Inuits, there’s also that fire where they live is costlier in ressource and more dangerous than, say, in Africa. Probably only one of the reason, but a pretty important one nonetheless.
(also, skimmingway, *please* make some effort to be a bit witty or well spoken. We only ask you to do an effort worth 5/20 on english class, not something actually hard)
Lol. Nice try, boys. Us ladies are over here eating actually delicious food.
Honestly, you should stick to take-away and frozen pizza.
I just wanna point out that the bit of meat accompanying the bean and leg in the first picture kinda resembles a shark-head. A bit. That’s the only appreciative bit I can say for any of those pictures.
@ An Autistic Giraffe. I would totally read that. You have excellent taste in tricksters.
On the topic of cooking and raw meat:
I have definitely made meals worse than some of those. Those meals were when I first lived on my own, and struggled to cope with work and executive functioning. I’ve got better, although I still make some terrible concoctions. If in doubt, grilled salmon or chicken breast, rice and veg, or a jacket spud with tuna and cheese are my go to meals.
I don’t like raw meat or fish. I’ve worked in food factories, I know what happens to that stuff before it gets to your table. Cod worm is a thing. I once worked in a factory that made ready meals for M&S. We did a kids fish pie that we had to flake the cooked cod for into tiny pieces and remove any bones, skin or cod worm that had been left in after the cooking process. It was vomit inducing. Just the smell made me ill. I don’t recommend it. I can’t even eat sushi/sashimi because of the possibility of raw fish in the vicinity of the rice and veg.
In random food information, today I learnt that I can ‘toast’ crumpets on a George Forman grill with the same result as if I’d toasted them in the toaster. (The toaster died this morning, I may have to go into mourning). And apparently, rice pudding made in a slow cooker is the same as rice pudding made in the oven. I have doubts, how do you get the crusty skin on the top in a slow cooker?
The troll: verbose, yet vapid. I recognise that style from an earlier troll. Can’t remember who though.
@VP
I’m sure he’ll be back, so we can expect more of his incomprehensible purple prose.
The stupid part of skimmingway is that it is super obvious that the MGTOWs whose meals are pictures are not, in fact, eating their meat raw. The ones with raw meat are showing off their ingredients before cooking them. The MGTOW with the steak in the cutting board next to the crackers is certainly risking cross-contamination, but only a fool would assume that means that the steak is not going to be cooked.
skimmingway is vigorously and purply defending a way of life that is not actually showcased by the MGTOWs on offer, so I guess they are not MANLY MEN at all. I guess MGTOWs are just squeamish, delicate women with their faces surgically attached to books on their way to Sofa Town. Way to self-own.
My preferred trickster is still Odin. He is not a trickster god per se, but he *is* a witty old coyote that have tricked a lot of people, including Loki.
Plus, he practice woman’s magic. Which was an especially big deal for Vikings, that took insult to virility very badly. It characterize him well as the god that put efficiency above pride, and I am fond of deities that blend gender roles, like him or Athena.
Speaking as a vegan, there is a notorious Latvian Youtuber called Sv3ridge who consumes his meat raw. He likes to do stuff like go to vegan events and munch on raw squirrel. He has in fact been hospitalised at least once from eating infected bone marrow. He also promotes the eating of “high meat”, which is liver put in a jar at room temperature for months until it goes slimey. Seeing him eat that is one of the grossest things i have ecer seen. There was a tiny sub on reddit full of his devotees but reddit banned it. He’s also an out-and-out racist and homophobe and yet is expecting a child which I fear for, genuinely, his girlfriend is a raw meat eater as well.