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Today’s Episode of MGTOW Cooking brought to you by Acme Frozen Green Beans

Mmmmm! And they’re even better cooked!

By David Futrelle

It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!

But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!

Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.

Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.

But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.

The guy posted this under the headline:

Get a girlfriend/married, she will cook for you. Surrrrreeeeee. I’ll gladly cook a gourmet Italian dinner with a delicious wine for myself by myself because we all know women dont cook. CHEERS GENTS!

These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!

Send tips to dfutrelle at gmail dot com.

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Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
9 months ago

Skimmingway: the troll with a thousand names.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)

I’ll give this Skimmingway lad credit for an iron stomach – raw meat AND at least one thesaurus? That’s a hell of a thing to try and digest in one go. He certainly seems to be failing.

An Autistic Giraffe
An Autistic Giraffe
9 months ago

@skimmingway

in the surely uneventful and sparsely populated one in your head.

Dude the world in my head involves Loki, Coyote, Anansi and Sun Wukong competing in a best trickster contest to see who can first overthrow a dystopian theocracy that spans the solar system. It’s very eventful.

Lainy
Lainy
9 months ago

Dude the world in my head involves Loki, Coyote, Anansi and Sun Wukong competing in a best trickster contest to see who can first overthrow a dystopian theocracy that spans the solar system. It’s very eventful.

mmmmhhh Loki, good taste my friend.

occasional reader
occasional reader
9 months ago

Also, it is to be known that real MEN ™ like a lovely taenia in their manly stomach. But wait, i am sure that a real MAN ™ organism can manhandle the tapeworm for it to flee screaming “Help ! Help ! I am oppressed by the (digestive) system !”

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)

@An Autistic Giraffe

I really want to read that.

skimmingway
skimmingway
9 months ago

@Threp

Insults about thesauri are overdone and completely ineffective; all you’ve managed to do is praise my verbal agility while looking like a dunce.

Pie
Pie
9 months ago

Skimmingway: what are your thoughts on eating raw seagull?

Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
Nikki the Bluth Wannabe
9 months ago

Is anyone else getting tired of Skimmingway or am I the first?

Nequam
Nequam
9 months ago

I think Skimmingway is making fun of the usual trolls we get and people are for inscrutable reasons taking him at face value.

Anyway, I’m with Catalpa about funny-looking food. The pie my husband made recently looked lumpy and weird (partly because he was trying to work out so many things he hadn’t done before, so he didn’t make the pie crust but rather used two premade shells, one atop the other; partly because its inner ingredients just made it look lumpy) but it turned out quite good all the same.

For the record, he was going off this recipe:

Lainy
Lainy
9 months ago

@skimmingway

Lol how about you go shit your guts out from eating raw meat. You really don’t have a leg to stand on here troll boy.

Threp (formerly Shadowplay)

@Nikki

Nah. Dude’s a total Hyacinth. It’s dull.

Catalpa
Catalpa
9 months ago

RE: the Inuit

I expect the reason why the consumption of raw meat is relatively common in Inuit cultures is because they either eat the meat when it’s freshly killed and there’s been limited time for bacteria to impact the flesh, or after the meat has been frozen by the environment. Freezing also works to kill bacteria and parasites (which along with storage/transport considerations, is why most sushi available has been flash-frozen at some point).

I certainly wouldn’t recommend people to eat raw meat straight out of their freezer, though. Cooking is generally a safer way to treat meat, and it makes the meat easier to digest as well.

(It might also be due to the kinds of animals that the Inuit consume; pigs for example are affected by a lot of parasites and bacteria that can easily impact humans as well, which is why it’s important to properly cook it, and is suspected to be partly why pork is forbidden by Abrahamic religions like Judaism and Islam- it was about keeping people safe. Maybe seals and walruses and fish have fewer parasites that can easily cross the species barrier to humans.)

C.A.Collins
C.A.Collins
9 months ago

I really like the taste of raw meat myself.
My dogs also like raw meat and eat considerably more of it.
Every quarter or so, I treat them for worms, which is why I don’t eat raw meat indiscriminately. Thin sliced and marinated, yes. Tear it off the bone with my teeth, no.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

Wow, a lot happened while I was gone.
@skimmingway

Nagglefart

I bet you think you’re clever, huh?

I am gainfully employed, using my unique set of skills to perform labors and produce services the likes of which you could never come close to emulating, neither in this world or in the surely uneventful and sparsely populated one in your head.

By any chance are you an actuary?

all you’ve managed to do is praise my verbal agility while looking like a dunce.

Verbal agility? I guess in the same way that trying to do a gymnastic move and falling over is “agility.”

@Buttercup

an entire bag of Haribo sugar-free gummies

Ah yes, this is what a real man™ would do.

@Rabid Rabbit

we all know that Jordan Peterson lives on nothing but beef and salt.

At least IIRC Peterson cooks it.

@Catalpa
As well, where the Inuit live it is much colder, which would impede the growth of parasites compared to a warmer region where it would spoil faster.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
9 months ago

I am gainfully employed, using my unique set of skills to perform labors and produce services the likes of which you could never come close to emulating

Let me guess: you’re mad that you aren’t being called a hero or an essential worker.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
9 months ago

Aw, man, I missed a troll? Or is skimmingway still hanging around?

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
9 months ago

One of the amusing part with the “defense” of eating raw meat by that troll is that evidence point out to fire being used *MUCH* earlier than any other modern human behavior, dating back to 2 million years when things like abstract thinking or blade technology being more like 200.000 year ago if that. Almost as soon as hominoids started to eat meat, they mastered fire to cook it.

Humans descent from frugivores and are about as well adapted to eating meat than panda to eat bamboo. Raw meat is not only pretty unsafe, it’s also *much* less nutritive than cooked meat. Your immunitary system isn’t gonna break down meat regardless of how uncompromising it is. If do, it’s called a flesh eater infection.

As for Inuits, there’s also that fire where they live is costlier in ressource and more dangerous than, say, in Africa. Probably only one of the reason, but a pretty important one nonetheless.

(also, skimmingway, *please* make some effort to be a bit witty or well spoken. We only ask you to do an effort worth 5/20 on english class, not something actually hard)

Cindy
Cindy
9 months ago

Lol. Nice try, boys. Us ladies are over here eating actually delicious food.

Honestly, you should stick to take-away and frozen pizza.

Battering Lamb
Battering Lamb
9 months ago

I just wanna point out that the bit of meat accompanying the bean and leg in the first picture kinda resembles a shark-head. A bit. That’s the only appreciative bit I can say for any of those pictures.

North Sea Sparkly Dragon (Formerly Nanny Oggs Busom)
North Sea Sparkly Dragon (Formerly Nanny Oggs Busom)
9 months ago

Dude the world in my head involves Loki, Coyote, Anansi and Sun Wukong competing in a best trickster contest to see who can first overthrow a dystopian theocracy that spans the solar system. It’s very eventful.

@ An Autistic Giraffe. I would totally read that. You have excellent taste in tricksters.

On the topic of cooking and raw meat:

I have definitely made meals worse than some of those. Those meals were when I first lived on my own, and struggled to cope with work and executive functioning. I’ve got better, although I still make some terrible concoctions. If in doubt, grilled salmon or chicken breast, rice and veg, or a jacket spud with tuna and cheese are my go to meals.

I don’t like raw meat or fish. I’ve worked in food factories, I know what happens to that stuff before it gets to your table. Cod worm is a thing. I once worked in a factory that made ready meals for M&S. We did a kids fish pie that we had to flake the cooked cod for into tiny pieces and remove any bones, skin or cod worm that had been left in after the cooking process. It was vomit inducing. Just the smell made me ill. I don’t recommend it. I can’t even eat sushi/sashimi because of the possibility of raw fish in the vicinity of the rice and veg.

In random food information, today I learnt that I can ‘toast’ crumpets on a George Forman grill with the same result as if I’d toasted them in the toaster. (The toaster died this morning, I may have to go into mourning). And apparently, rice pudding made in a slow cooker is the same as rice pudding made in the oven. I have doubts, how do you get the crusty skin on the top in a slow cooker?

The troll: verbose, yet vapid. I recognise that style from an earlier troll. Can’t remember who though.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@VP

Or is skimmingway still hanging around?

I’m sure he’ll be back, so we can expect more of his incomprehensible purple prose.

Policy of Madness
Policy of Madness
9 months ago

The stupid part of skimmingway is that it is super obvious that the MGTOWs whose meals are pictures are not, in fact, eating their meat raw. The ones with raw meat are showing off their ingredients before cooking them. The MGTOW with the steak in the cutting board next to the crackers is certainly risking cross-contamination, but only a fool would assume that means that the steak is not going to be cooked.

skimmingway is vigorously and purply defending a way of life that is not actually showcased by the MGTOWs on offer, so I guess they are not MANLY MEN at all. I guess MGTOWs are just squeamish, delicate women with their faces surgically attached to books on their way to Sofa Town. Way to self-own.

Ohlmann
Ohlmann
9 months ago

My preferred trickster is still Odin. He is not a trickster god per se, but he *is* a witty old coyote that have tricked a lot of people, including Loki.

Plus, he practice woman’s magic. Which was an especially big deal for Vikings, that took insult to virility very badly. It characterize him well as the god that put efficiency above pride, and I am fond of deities that blend gender roles, like him or Athena.

varalys the dark
9 months ago

Speaking as a vegan, there is a notorious Latvian Youtuber called Sv3ridge who consumes his meat raw. He likes to do stuff like go to vegan events and munch on raw squirrel. He has in fact been hospitalised at least once from eating infected bone marrow. He also promotes the eating of “high meat”, which is liver put in a jar at room temperature for months until it goes slimey. Seeing him eat that is one of the grossest things i have ecer seen. There was a tiny sub on reddit full of his devotees but reddit banned it. He’s also an out-and-out racist and homophobe and yet is expecting a child which I fear for, genuinely, his girlfriend is a raw meat eater as well.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
9 months ago

@PoM

I had similar thoughts. Anything can happen to food between prep and plating. In the case of the person who put raw meat on a wooden cutting board … well, I hope they bring plenty of reading material when they’re dealing with the consequences.

I think it’s great that MGTOWs want to actually do something that makes them more independent. But as someone who takes pride in her own cooking, I feel like they’re wanting a ticker-tape parade for cooking very basic dishes. That’s setting the food safety issues aside. Looking at these photos, I wonder how many of them wash their hands after handling raw meat. Or do they think MANLY MEN don’t get sick unless teh evul womenz cast spells on them?

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
9 months ago

This all looks diarrhea-inducing. Honestly, I would have more respect if they just had photos of ready-made stuff from like Trader Joe’s.

“Women don’t cook”, let’s see, on Sunday alone I made: Mediterranean herb-baked eggs with bacon and sourdough toast for breakfast; currywurst with sweet potato tots and artichokes for supper; German pound cake for dessert.

I also hit the mother lode of yeast by going to the grocery yesterday on my lunch break (it’s always gone by the weekend), and I got plans for that, girly-girl. I’ve already made khachapuri and focaccia with my current 3-pack.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@VP

I feel like they’re wanting a ticker-tape parade for cooking very basic dishes.

The whole manosphere seems to feature prominently the idea of expecting applause for the bare minimum of effort, then getting resentful when they don’t get it. Like the whole “Nice Guy” thing where they are annoyed women won’t date them.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
9 months ago

@ Naglfar

That’s likely.

Taking a moment here to plug one of my favorite cooking sites, Once Upon a Chef. Jenn is a former pro chef, now a SAHM, and her recipes range from requiring decent knife skills to the ability to moosh things together in a bowl and stick them in the oven. She’s also great at answering questions re ingredient substitution or alternate prep/cooking methods.

As for my own cooking … Sunday night I made Cajun meatballs, with homemade Cajun seasoning. Last night I made (chicken) carnitas served with homemade lime crema. Tonight I’m going simple with a couple chops seasoned with homemade spicy rub.

Kevin
Kevin
9 months ago

I wonder if Skimmingway is aware of pockets of wild game that are reservoirs of bubonic plague, which you can catch by eating the afflicted species raw. A bout with the Black Death would certainly be a challenge to a manlyman(TM) immune system.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
9 months ago

Also, google “Jack Monroe” (or try https://cookingonabootstrap.com) for the best food info, from someone who knows after years of feeding herself and her kid on bugger-all money. No snobbery, no condescension, and she offers imaginative and realistic ideas; she knows people without money are usually working twice the hours and have half the energy left (and are more likely to live somewhere with poorer access to fresh ingredients too).

Pie
Pie
9 months ago

@Catalpa

I expect the reason why the consumption of raw meat is relatively common in Inuit cultures is because they either eat the meat when it’s freshly killed and there’s been limited time for bacteria to impact the flesh, or after the meat has been frozen by the environment

They had quite limited access to fuel for cooking, being in the arctic, and there are some risks with eating frozen food if you’re already cold. There are also some interesting nutritional benefits to eating things before rigor mortis sets in, as it turns out.

Freezing also works to kill bacteria and parasites

If it is cold enough, sure. This won’t help you during warmer months, and can be inconvenient if you’re already cold and don’t have a good way to thaw or cook the meat.

Maybe seals and walruses and fish have fewer parasites that can easily cross the species barrier to humans

Nah, they’ve got lots. Diphyllobothriidae are the main ones that spring to mind, but I’m sure there are plenty of others. Fish tapeworm infestation is a lot less likely to kill you or make you seriously ill than pork tapeworms, so the risk/reward balance is a bit different.

(Also, it is worth noting that there are indigenous peoples in the artic circle other than the inuit, who will have similar culinary traditions. It probably isn’t the best term to use as a catch-all demonym, even if it is better than “eskimo”)

Otrame
Otrame
9 months ago

When talking about Bubonic Plague, it doesn’t matter if you eat infected vectors raw or cooked. It’s the fleas that carry the disease. It’s endemic in ground rodent populations in pockets all over the world, including the US. Somebody caught it just recently, IIRC. That’s pretty rare these days, and nothing to worry about because Yersinia pestis is a bacteria, not a virus. The biggest danger these days is a doctor, understandably, not recognizing it.

As for eating meat raw, there is a reason why our ancestors stopped eating it that way several hundred thousand years ago. Yes, you can eat raw beef. I recommend a high class restaurant though. It’s in their best interest to make sure the meat was properly treated before it gets to your plate.

As for our troll, he doesn’t seem to get the point of the OP. The men showing off their cooking skills are being laughed at because they seem to think preparing a tasty meal is some esoteric thing that women think only they can do. Men who think like that should sue their parents for not teaching them basic cooking skills. I have kids and grandkids and every single one of them can cook. But then I’m not a MANLY man (in fact, not a man at all), so I must have had some evil intent in teaching my kids to separate their clothes before washing them and how to follow a recipe in a cookbook.

Some Chick in Texas
Some Chick in Texas
9 months ago

I have a question, well, actually several, but I’ll limit it to a few. How do you “train” your immune system to not get e.coli, salmonella, or tapeworms? Also, what in the world is “Bismarkian pretense?” Finally, editors, do these people not exist in the manosphere? The purple prose isn’t nearly as entertaining as they think it is.

Catalpa
Catalpa
9 months ago

@Pie

Oh, neat! Thanks for explaining that to me, I’ll keep it in mind.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@Some Chick in Texas

what in the world is “Bismarkian pretense?”

I’m not sure. I’d guess it’s referring to Otto von Bismarck, who was the first Chancellor of the German Empire from 1871-1890. Searching for it just brings up articles about Otto von Bismarck, so I’d guess it’s a term our visitor made up.

Finally, editors, do these people not exist in the manosphere? The purple prose isn’t nearly as entertaining as they think it is.

AFAICT they do not, and nearly all of their books seem to be self-published. Manosphere rhetoric seems to come in varying levels of purple prose, but almost all has this weird self-important pompousness to it that makes them sound like cartoon villains.

Dalillama
Dalillama
9 months ago

Re: Inuit cuisine
Raw meat/fish is generally eaten when it’s extremely fresh. Otherwise it’s fermented or boiled over a blubber-fueled stove. Peoples who live further inland have more varied access to fuels and eat caribou, fish, and assorted small game, usually cooked or dried. Some parts are still eaten raw: fresh caribou brain with a pinch of salt is a delicacy.

Chris O
Chris O
9 months ago

It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking….

And by “wondrous” you mean “shudderingly gross”, amirite?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
9 months ago

To tie in Bismarck, dodgy meat and tapeworms.

There’s the tale of the sausage duel. It’s probably apocryphal; but I don’t let things like that detract me from the facts.

I also like this line; it seems apposite.

In his new role, Bismarck clashed regularly with the Prussian Diet

https://skullsinthestars.com/2014/11/01/the-great-sausage-duel-of-1865/

Susan
Susan
9 months ago

@Aron, My friend, I drink red with everything!

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
9 months ago

I have to say I’m slightly in awe at skimmingway’s longwindedness, since it briefly managed to remind me of the mayor of Champignac from the Spirou & Fantasio comics, but the good mayor is (of course) much more entertaining and far more benevolent. Also, he sticks to his stylistic choice without calling anyone Nagglefarts or something, since that’s just crass.

I am gainfully employed, using my unique set of skills to perform labors and produce services the likes of which you could never come close to emulating

This in particular sounds like an exercise in giving away absolutely no useful information whatsoever. You both perform labours and produce services, gee, how impressive. Do you “perform and produce” behind a curtain, so that no one can see what you’re doing?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

what in the world is “Bismarkian pretense?”

I’m choosing to believe it is about the rapper Biz Markie, hence the gif I posted last night.

That’s probably not it though.

Maybe he just doesn’t like Bismark North Dakota?

Some Chick in Texas
Some Chick in Texas
9 months ago

Maybe he just doesn’t like Bismark North Dakota?

Maybe. I know it isn’t a terribly exciting town but to hate it? Seems like an over-reaction. Which is par for the course.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
9 months ago

I was willing to grant him the “the burrito was photographed before wrapping so you could see the contents,” but then he just went off the rails with the “ReAl MeN eAt RaW MeAt.”

“Library-science-degree-holding ball-busters” is a refreshing change from slamming the “Women’s Studies feminazis,” though. Am now amusing myself with the idea of Mom, cousin Lisa, or late Great-aunt Janette (RIP) keeping anybody salivating on a leash.

“Bismarkian pretensions” I object, I’ve never in my life tried to build up Germany as a world power.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
9 months ago

“Library Science Degree Holding Ball Busters” ought to be some all-woman band’s name. The debut album’s art can be inferred from the surrounding context in skummingway’s post.

Naglfar
Naglfar
9 months ago

@Moon Custafer

I’ve never in my life tried to build up Germany as a world power.

This is probably for the better, seeing what happened the last time someone tried.

@Surplus

“Library Science Degree Holding Ball Busters” ought to be some all-woman band’s name.

It’s a bit of a long name. Maybe it could be shortened to “Library Ball Busters”? I imagine a riot grrl type band with a thematic focus around libraries and academia.

Masse_Mysteria
Masse_Mysteria
9 months ago

@Naglfar

It’s a bit of a long name. Maybe it could be shortened to “Library Ball Busters”?

I think the silly-exact “Library Science Degree Holding” is part of the appeal, though. Maybe use the ball busting just in ads or something?

@Come On Dude
I also sometimes feel uncomfortable with these threads because I can’t cook. Then I remember that I don’t call my attempts at it “gourmet Italian dinner” and expect praise.

Mrs. Obed Marsh
Mrs. Obed Marsh
9 months ago

This stereotype about librarians being evil feminist ballbusters is new to me. Most of the librarians I know are mild-mannered older women. I guess some librarian wronged skimmingway in the past and he’s still salty about it?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I also sometimes feel uncomfortable with these threads because I can’t cook. Then I remember that I don’t call my attempts at it “gourmet Italian dinner” and expect praise.

Yeah, that’s the thing that’s mocked. That and how MGTOW thinks it’s somehow a slap in the face to women that they can boil pasta or put things in a tortilla.

I’m not a terrible cook, but am rarely motivated to actually do it. I eat a lot of meals that are cheese melted on things or boxed pasta or frozen meal. Or delivery pizza or Thai. But I’m not putting my thoroughly unimpressive meals online and boasting about them. Or expecting men to feel shamed by them.

jy3
jy3
9 months ago

@skimmingway:
Excessive verbiage interferes with comprehension and is contrary to the purpose of communication. Provided, of course, that you are utilizing social intercourse for its customary function rather than autogratification through the computational equivalent of your own vocalizations. Which is a valid source of enjoyment, but we would encourage you to find your own repository for the virtual substances thus produced. (You may have an appropriate receptacle located upon your lower extremities.)