By David Futrelle
It’s time once again to venture into the wondrous world of MGTOW cooking. All of the images below were posted to the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit by proud MGTOW chefs. Look upon these marvelous culinary achievements and weep, ladies; these guys don’t need you evil harpies to feed them any more!
But first, a word from our sponsor, Acme Frozen Green Beans, the beans that are blandly delicious even served completely plain without so much as salt or pepper!
Next we have some delicious steaks and other raw meatstuffs. I just hope these are the before pictures, and not the finished meals. And I wish only the best of health to the dude who’s putting raw steak on the same wooden board he’s serving cheese and crackers off of.
Here is a burrito, insofar as that is the correct term for a bunch of stuff piled atop an uncooked tortilla that this guy has no idea how to fold up into a burrito.
But this last one is my favorite. Some “gourmet” Italian foodstuff carefully arranged in a lovely little tableau with a Febreze Candle Air Freshener and a FedEx envelope and a wallet I think and maybe a boombox, I can’t tell. Because it’s all about the presentation.
The guy posted this under the headline:
These guys are sure showing the ladies that they know how to live!
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@skimmingway
Are you trying to sound profound? Because it’s not working.
When the apocalypse arrives, there will definitely be a need for unnecessarily florid prose and people riddled with parasites.
Curious, though, how all these hard manly preppin’ men, when the shit actually hit the fan last spring, couldn’t go one month without a haircut. They were showing up armed at state capitols because they couldn’t endure being in lockdown for a few weeks with Netflix and Pringles. I can’t imagine the meltdowns that would ensue from the alpha male crowd if there were a serious unraveling of society.
@Buttercup
I think part of why they acted up during quarantine was because it wasn’t what they expected. They were hoping an apocalypse like in a video game where everyone fends for themself and people they don’t like get “put in their places”, but then when it wasn’t what they wanted, they melted down.
They also massively overestimate their abilities, they wouldn’t last a day in a real apocalypse despite their constant longing.
Are sushi and sashimi manly? Or does it have to be raw beef? What about raw chicken? Is it extra manly because of the element of danger? And raw seagull?
@WWTH
What about raw stallion heart?
BQS,
Manly fascist men also seem to crumble when threatened when milkshakes are thrown at them.
@Naglfar
I am defending a WAY OF LIFE from the verbal slings and arrows of ineffectual intellectuals and other assorted effete pointy-headed snobs who are, in a likelihood, more concerned with the aesthetic dimension behind consuming raw meat than they are with the actual nature of the act in itself. The very thought of some betesticled man’s man, oozing testosterone and animal magnetism as he bites into his dinner with ursine hunger just makes your kind go flailing back into your drawing rooms, fan in hand and couch in perfect position for you to faint on as you contemplate what “horrors” have just vexed your delicate little nerves. This whole thing has little to do with the actual health of the men in question, it boils down to the fact that they reject your Bismarckian pretensions and make a mockery of your obsessive desire to use whatever “facts” you deem appropriate to impose order on people you see as your inferiors, you people who show up to a boxing match with a Jeopardy buzzer. You can’t take the man out of the man.
@skimmingway
The way of life of raw meat? Dude, if you want to eat raw meat I can’t stop you. We are just pointing out why it’s not a good idea. If you don’t like it, you can go elsewhere to hang out with men and eat raw meat.
So far it’s just making me laugh. I don’t care if you eat raw meat. Go ahead. Knock your socks off. Get E. Coli to own the libs.
@Naglfar – One also senses they were upset because the people who normally serve them were no longer being required to serve them, and they experienced it as a diminishment of their privilege. Haircuts and manicures can be DIY, beer and wine are still available to drink at home, but the camo crowd and their Karen counterparts are uncomfortable not being waited on and catered to. Good luck with that when society collapses.
I love this site and I am a regular browser, but this particular post is making me uncomfortable. It honestly feels like bullying.
I guess I’m really not on board for making fun of guys for just, like, cooking food?
I dunno, to me, this sort of thing (minus the accompanying “take that, ladies” nonsense, at least) is actually the wholesome side of MGTOW. A lot of western men are literally not taught to take care of themselves. I know and have worked with multiple grown men who don’t know how to cook a simple meal because it was assumed by the family they grew up with that they would leave their mother’s side to be taken care of by their wife. A lot of men have gotten into relationships that were genuinely toxic and harmful because they didn’t know how to take care of themselves and latched onto the first woman who was willing to say yes.
I see things like this, and I see men actually learning to Go Their Own Way. Learning that they don’t actively need a partner to take care of them. Learning to be independent. Learning how to cook, and what they actually like, through trial and error. That, to me, is healthy as heck and should be actively encouraged in every single person, not ridiculed.
Not even when the person doing the cooking is a MGTOW.
As for the food itself… come on, man. Everyone starts somewhere. Not everyone’s going to be a great cook. Not everyone learned as a kid. Not everyone was even welcomed into a kitchen to help and find out. Toxic masculinity is a thing, and something a lot of men grew up under the thumb of. So, there’s some bland dishes, and canned parmesean cheese, and a messy burrito. That burrito is not upholding the patriarchy. That burrito isn’t abusive to women. Also, I would eat that burrito.
With all the legitimately ridiculous and harmful and hateful stuff that MGTOWs routinely post, it just feels like there are better targets for this site to aim at than “man cooks green beans that are, in my opinion, underseasoned (though some people like them that way)”. Come on, dude. Aim higher. Leave the burrito out of it.
@Nagglefart
I will not be getting E. Coli, however much it might please you for the inverse to be true, because, as I’ve delineated above, men who have properly trained their immune systems are unlikely to acquire any sort of lethal or exceptionally cumbersome malady. The safety rules which you have tried to foist upon me with your condescending wiles were made for more delicate sorts of people, such as the one you see in the mirror. I will not likely be getting ANY kind of disease to “own the libs” I will own them precisely by doing that which they insist, from their ivory tower perches, is impossible for me and my kind to do. Keep chortling, Nagglefart.
Somehow, I feel like real raw steak eaters wouldn’t use effete pointyheaded words like “ursine” and “betesticled” in a sentence. They’d say “bearlike” and “ballsy”. Simple. Direct. To the point.
I’m afraid we can’t really validate your manhood unless you can also eat castor oil, Scotch bonnets, and an entire bag of Haribo sugar-free gummies in one sitting. If you do, we promise to feel owned.
I think skimmingway might just have a point here. I ordered a steak and eggs today and they cooked it well done instead of rare like I asked. I guess there’s no other choice for me but to go my own way* like him.
(*going my own way apparently consists of whining impotently on the internet at people who are just going to mock you until you get too boring)
Unless you are Inuit* or something I really don’t see how eating raw meat is a way of life worth defending. Seems more like a dumb hobby to make yourself feel big and tough.
Overall you seem a wee bit insecure in your masculinity. Maybe you should see a support group for people with low self esteem or something.
*OT but now I’m curious about how groups like the Inuit that did/do live off a diet of raw meat dealt with diseases and parasites. Gonna go look that up.
@skimmingway:
I’m so scared of you eating raw meat that I can’t stop laughing at you and your pretentious nonsense.
Um, I’m going to have to defend one point slightly. There have existed cultures which regularly ate meat raw, but only when freshly killed. They also regularly used anti-parasite herbal concoctions (to various degrees of usefulness) and just dealt with whatever they couldn’t effectively treat and the moderately higher rate of child mortality. And the reason why they did this was because their hunting tactics consisted of “driving herds of game off a cliff” which everyone who could participate in did so, not just the manliest of men – because you need a lot of people to effectively pull that off.
After that, they’d gorge themselves on as much raw meat as they could as fast as they could and then try to make some effort to preserve as much as the rest as possible, but it was tremendously wasteful, as most of the meat was left to rot. It was also a fairly rare tactic, due to the health issues, the waste, the frequent shortages of available game due to killing off all the local herds, and the general lack of conveniently-placed cliffs, but it was a thing which people did. I wouldn’t recommend that unless one lacks better options.
[Edit] Also the Inuit, but I don’t know how that works either.
What would really scare me would be if you cleaned out your bank account and gave all the money to me. I would be so owned if you did that, please don’t.
@An Autistic Giraffe
Seems rather fitting that, amongst all of these people warning me of the supposed dangers of parasites, that I should find one in this comment section. Why not give you all of my money, in all likelihood, you are probably already plundering it from me through the force of taxation and other assorted methods of government-sanctioned protection schemes and racketeering. You think nothing about using the faceless hand of an iron bureaucracy to shake down the makers of society so you can take the easy road to Sofa Town. I make wise decisions in virtually all matters pertaining to my life, I am gainfully employed, using my unique set of skills to perform labors and produce services the likes of which you could never come close to emulating, neither in this world or in the surely uneventful and sparsely populated one in your head.
All the very smartest and most sophisticated people can’t tell when someone is making a joke. Truly, skimmingway is an intellectual giant.
As someone who has worked in immunology labs, has a PhD in virology, and currently works in food safety, looking at skimmingway’s nonsense… yikes.
Bro, it is not “manly” to ignore science. It is not “manly” to expose yourself needlessly to risk. And it sure as fuck isn’t “manly” to be curled up in a ball shitting yourself on your bathroom floor.
There are over a hundred thousand hospitalizations for foodborne illness in the US each year. You don’t want to be one of them. You can’t “train your immune system” to make yourself invulnerable to shiga toxin. It’s a TOXIN, and will fuck you up before your immune system can protect you.
Cook your damn meat. Have you ever been on a farm? Have you been to a slaughterhouse? They are not clean places. You wouldn’t lick the floor in those places, so don’t eat the meat raw.
Well, we all know that Jordan Peterson lives on nothing but beef and salt. And is apparently deathly ill in a hospital in Russia, but I’m sure that’s unconnected.
Raw meat picture #2: Given that that’s clearly pork, I sure hope he’s going to cook it. (Admittedly, I’m not entirely sure he’s not planning to fuck it, since I’m pretty sure that’s also what incels think female genitalia look like.)
As for the last photo… is that a SCENTED FUCKIN’ CANDLE??? Mancard revoked! Mancard revoked!!! Or is the whole point that you don’t need a goddamn wimmin to get your own goddamn scented fuckin’ candle?
I was going to make some of the same points as skimmingway, albeit in a much different way and tending to point towards the fact that not everyone can afford to eat truly healthy, good-quality food (I could not, in earlier times of my life).
But then he said what he said and I really lost all interest, plus my feminine squeamishness of the parasites to be found in raw meat overcame me.
Also I wondered why the true man’s way is raw when you need to consume far more mass that way due to lack of bioavailability of the calories, and then it sits in your gut clogging it up… what’s unmanly about fire? All the best men can start a fire from just sticks, so I’ve been told, what’s wrong with slapping a tree branch with a bleeding haunch over the fire to roast? Bear Grylls, basically a woman.
@wwth
Aww, don’t heckle. You know he could only suckle seagull eggs stolen from the nest.
squeamishness of raw meat… bro I grew up on a farm. I’ve put my whole arm up a cows ass to feel if she was pregnant. I’ve cut the heads off live chickens, plucked them, prepared them and cooked them. I’ve hunted turkeys, and caught, gutted, and cleaned fish. if anything that’s what makes me want to eat animals less is because ive been with the animals that become that meat, and I’ve been the hand that kills them. Tell me when the last time you did that was mr MGTOW lol.
I like this troll, he’s more fun then the other one? can we keep him around long enough for me to pinch his cheeks?